I Do? I Don't
by ColorOfAngels
Summary: Could a drunken mistake be the best thing that ever happened to them? A lot can happen before an annulment is finalized... After all, as House said himself, the most successful marriages are based on lies.... HouseCameron
1. What Happens In Vegas

A/N Okay, so I swear I'm still working on the sequel to Something Unpredictable but I was on 14 hour road trip this weekend and this story formulated in my mind and demanded to be written….its pretty much just going to be fun silliness with some romance mixed in while hopefully remaining in character the whole time…so, I hope you enjoy!

A/N 09/09 sooooo…. I need to pick up this story, so I went to reread it to get myself back in the frame of mind and I realized the typos are atrocious, so I'm rewriting and reediting this beast while I do it… so hopefully any of you who are either rereading or just now joining the party will not be horrified by my inability to write :D

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The one and only Gregory House M.D., diagnostician extraordinaire and general asshole, struggled into consciousness and immediately discovered that trying so hard was clearly his first mistake of the morning. His head was pounding to the point where he could actually feel his blood rushing through his veins with every throbbing beat of his heart. The taste in his mouth was fairly indescribable, but he was positive that he could die a happy man if he never had to taste it again. His stomach was revolting even with the absence of any external stimuli, and his whole body ached, his right leg, of course, most of all.

It took him a moment to realize that he wasn't in fact dying, although at this point that didn't really seem like a poor option, but instead was suffering from the worst kind hangover known to mankind. Knowing from experience that his leg pain was about the only thing he could do something about at the current moment, he reached out and grabbed the prescription bottle off the night stand without even opening his eyes. Popping the cap with one hand he shook two into his mouth and swallowed them dry with great effort, grimacing when he realized that the bitter taste they left behind was actually an improvement.

He had every intention of rolling back over and passing out for a few more hours until life would seem marginally more bearable, but a groan that did not come from his own mouth caused one eye to fly open.

Initially he was surprised to discover that he was not in his own bed in his own home, but after a moment of disorientation, he remembered that he was in a hotel room in Las Vegas attending a convention Cuddy had blackmailed him into going to. In actuality, he hadn't really fought that hard not to go since it meant he had a week in Vegas on the hospitals tab, but that wasn't really what was on his mind at the moment. What was more pressing at the present time, was the wide expanse of feminine back that he was currently presented with as he turned his eyes to the other side of the bed.

He had no recollection of how she got there and considering his own state of undress he only hoped that as drunk as he must have been last night, that he had at least been lucid enough to remember to use protection considering he was in Sin City. It didn't take long for his critical mind to deduce that the mystery woman was also naked as his eyes traced the gentle curves of her waist as her hips disappeared under the generic hotel sheet. And an attractive back it was too, he decided as he took in the graceful lines of her muscles from the chestnut curls that fell over her shoulders to the dimples at the base of either side of her spine. _Fossae lumbales laterales _or the Dimples of Venus, his excessively cerebral thoughts rattling off both the latin and colloquial terms for those indentations.

But regardless of the attractiveness of said back, in his pained state he was more interested in finding out who it belonged to, and then getting her the hell out of his hotel room so he could nurse his hangover in peace before his flight back to Jersey that afternoon. He reached out and gave his impromptu slumber party partner a sharp jab in between her shoulder blades. When she only groaned again, reaching down to pull the sheet up around her shoulders, he jabbed her again, this time harder.

This time the unidentified female stirred, groaning again as she turned towards the source of the poking. Opening her blue green eyes, she gave a startled cry as she took in the ice blue eyes that were clearly just as surprised to see her, as she was him. That wasn't the only thing they agreed on however, as they both grimaced at her shriek, bringing matching hands up to equally throbbing temples.

"Oh, for the love of God, or your atheistic exclamation of choice, lower you voice about four octaves," House murmured, his own voice sounding abnormally loud in his head.

"House! What the hell is going on?" Allison Cameron, the youngest and prettiest of House's underlings, demanded, making them both wince again at the pitch of her voice. "I think my head is going to explode," she continued, quieter this time, bringing a hand up to her forehead.

Quickly realizing that kicking her out of his room and never having to deal with her again wasn't really a feasible option anymore, and also recognizing they were both far too hung over to deal with what most likely happened the night previous, he made a decision.

"I can take a pretty educated guess," he replied to her earlier question, "but right now, I'm going back to sleep and you should too."

"What?" Cameron whispered as indignantly as her headache allowed her. "How can you possibly sleep when we probably-"

House reached out and haphazardly covered her mouth to cut off the rant he was all to aware was coming. "Whatever may or may not have happened last night, will still have probably happened in a couple of hours when my brain will be more capable of listening to your tirade and when your voice will be less grating. And considering your photophobia, hyperacusis, sweating, raised body temperature, and the fact that your having trouble keeping your eyes focused on me," he said, listing some of the physical symptoms of a hangover that he could see without even asking how she felt, "means you feel just as crappy as I do, and a couple of hours of sleep will make you far less offensive to my senses. So I was actually being nice, believe it or not, when offering to let you stay here and sleep, instead of kicking you out, which I will still do if you don't shut up for the next four hours."

"But Hou-"

"Shhhh…" he soothed pressing two fingers to her mouth as his eyes fell shut, ready to go back to sleep.

"But-" she tried again.

"I said _shhh_ woman," he said rolling over so his back was facing her, a clear statement that the conversation was now over.

Recognizing this was not an argument she could win, Cameron sighed and gave up. Besides, House was right, she was feeling to much like she had been repeatedly backed over by a garbage truck to argue with him right now. And with that, she too rolled over and went back to sleep. Hoping beyond hope that she would wake up in her own bed and this will all have been some alcohol induced nightmare.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The second time House woke up for the day, the pain in his head had transformed from a harsh constant pounding, to a more bearable dull throb. He opened his eyes to find that Cameron was no longer in bed with him, but it didn't take long to figure out where she might have went since a quick scan of the room revealed that she was sitting at the generic cheap laminate hotel room table by the window, her back to the bed and by a matter of proximity, him. He deduced that she had been up for awhile as she had both showered and dressed and judging but the fact that her hair was already half way air dried, she had been sitting there for a while.

"So, we had sex last night," he announced, not in the mood to beat around the bush.

If she was started by his proclamation, she didn't show it. "I'm on the pill, so we're covered there," she replied just as no nonsensely, before falling back into a terse silence.

He was surprised when she didn't speak again. He was half expecting her to deny the possibility that they had slept together and the other half of him figured she would want to talk it to death, wanting to know what it meant for their _relationship_. Instead she just sat there facing away from him, her entire posture letting him know that she was clenching.

"So what, that's it? No denials, no wanting to talk about it?" he asked, relaying his thoughts. "And would you relax? What have I told you about clenching."

"Well, I think it would be pretty pointless trying to deny what so obviously happened and I think we have much more important things to be talking about. Things that give me every reason to clench," she spat irritably, finally turning around to glare daggers at him.

"Like what?" he asked unconcerned, yawning as he sat up, drawing the blankets around his waist.

"Like this," she said holding up an official looking piece of paper, "and _this_!" she exclaimed showing him her left hand.

He wasn't a genius for nothing and the pieces quickly clicked into place. For once in his life Gregory House was at a complete and utter loss for words.

"We didn't…" he said incredulously after a moment.

"We did," she replied flatly, crossing over to the bed and handing him the marriage certificate that clearly had both of their signatures on it, and showing him the rather large diamond ring that was sitting on her left hand like it had a perfect right to be there. "You have one too," she added, nodding towards the hand holding the certificate.

He followed her line of sight and found that yes, he too was wearing a shiny new wedding band. Then much to her surprise and dismay, he started to laugh. And it wasn't the restrained I'm so witty I'm chuckling at my own cleverness, or the you're so stupid I snicker at your obtuseness that she was used to hearing from him. No this was a deep belly laugh that only came from honest and true amusement.

"House!" she exclaimed, her jaw dropping disbelievingly. "This isn't funny, we, as in you and I, got married! To each other!"

"I know," he replied once he could breathe again, "that's what is so hilarious. Can you imagine the look on Cuddy's face when she finds out?" he laughed again, earning himself a dangerous glare. "Oh relax Cameron, we can get the thing annulled once we get back to Princeton," he said placatingly. "Now even you can't tell me that this whole situation isn't just a little bit amusing. This is the kind of thing you see on bad sitcoms or soap operas, these things aren't supposed to happen in real life. Congratulations, you're a living cliché."

House was pleased when she gave a little smile as she began to see the humor in their current predicament. A cranky, pissed off immunologist was not something he wanted to deal with on the five hour flight home. Speaking of going home, a quick glance at the clock on the night stand told him it was time to get ready to go.

"We can talk about this more on the plane," he said bringing the conversation to a close. "But why don't you make yourself useful and find your hubby his pants before you leave."

Cameron glowered at House's flippant request, but still grabbed the jeans that had been discarded the night before and threw them at him as she stalked from the room to her own to pack.

"Thanks Wifey!" he called after her retreating back.

Well, he thought, laughing softly to himself, that was unexpected.

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A/N So what did you all think? I know similar stories have been done before but I think I have a couple twists up my sleeves to make mine a little different, or at least enjoyable…. So let me know what you think, and if its worth continuing….

reuploaded 9/17/09


	2. Doesnt Always Stay In Vegas

AN Thanks for the support on the last chapter everyone! I hope you continue to enjoy this one as much…

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It was a mightily amused House that settled into his window seat on the plane next to a very displeased, and therefore unpleasant, immunologist. For some reason that he couldn't seem to fathom, she just didn't seem to enjoy the fact that he was letting everyone from the hotel desk clerk at checkout, to the cab driver that drove them to the airport, to the TSA agent who checked them through security, to the flight attendants that helped them store their carry on luggage in the overhead compartment, know that they were newlyweds enjoying their first full day of happy wedded bliss. And since she was too polite to contradict him, and since he had the benefit of what he was saying actually technically being true, (the wedded part, not the bliss) there wasn't much she could do, but grit her teeth and force a smile at all their heartfelt congratulations.

As a result, Cameron was less than thrilled with her boss and the fact that she was stuck sitting next to him in a confined space for the next five hours, especially with his penchant for getting bored and amusing himself by annoying whoever was available. And on top of everything else she still hadn't completely recovered from this morning's hangover to end all hangovers, and was eager to put on her complementary airplane headphones, attempt to take a nap and forget that any of this had ever happened, if only for a few hours. The only redeeming value of her day was that they were in first class as it was one of House's stipulations to Cuddy in representing PPTH at the conference (for his leg of course), so at least she would be more comfortable.

House watched her try and fail to get comfortable and quickly asked the flight attendent to get _his wife _a blanket and pillow. Cameron honestly didn't know whether or not to be annoyed that he was once again calling attention to the fact they had accidentally gotten married, or pleased that he actually cared enough about her comfort to get the pillow and blanket for her. She settled on annoyed since she knew that realistically he was only pretending to care about her comfort since he was having fun annoying her by playing the caring and concerned husband.

Even with the blanket and pillow making her more comfortable and soothing classical piano playing over her headphones, she still couldn't find the escape she so desperately desired in a nap. There were just to many thoughts running through her mind at a mile a minute to fall asleep. Part of what was bothering her most was that she could really only remember fragmented bits and pieces of the previous night and she didn't like not having the whole story.

"House?" she said, temporarily abandoning her attempts to sleep and opening her eyes. However, he too was listening to his headphones and didn't hear her as he absently watched the passing clouds through the the tiny airplane window. "House," she said again this time reaching out and nudging his arm to get his attention.

"How many times do I have to tell you? No, I don't want to join the mile high club with you right now," he said loudly as he pulled the earbuds from his ears and gave her his attention.

Eyes wide with embarresment, Cameron blushed and sunk lower in her seat when the other passengers in hearing distance, which was quite a few rows in every direction thanks to excessive volume of House's voice, turned to look at them.

"Then you're an idiot," the young man, who was sitting across the aisle caddy corner to Cameron, replied looking back at the pair. "But," he said looking the female doctor up and down speculatively, licking his lips, "if you're really anxious to join the club, you could ditch the old man and I could help you earn your wings sweet thing."

"Oh gross," Cameron scoffed, disgusted by the vulgar proposition.

"Hey douchebag," House said as he put an arm protectively around her shoulders and pulled her close, "why don't you turn around and stop perving on my wife before you get a cane so far up your ass you're coughing up splinters."

The other passenger simply rolled his eyes, gave Cameron on more speculative glance and popped the collar of his pastel polo before turning back around to mind his own business.

Cameron took in a couple deep breaths of the scent that was House, while he continued to hold her close, glaring at the younger man with an animosity that would have surprised him had he reflected on the intensity of it.

"Umm, House?" she said having to crane her neck to look up at him and meet his eyes.

"Yeah, Cameron?" he replied looking down at her.

"You can let go of me now."

"Right," he said letting go of her with an uncharacteristic absence of snark. "So what did you want?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, the incident with the wannabe frat boy completely distracting her from why she had gotten his attention in the first place.

"Well, I'm assuming that you got my attention for a reason that didn't have anything to do with the mile high club," he retorted, returning to form. "Although, if it did, the logistics of it would be awkward what with the dimensions of an airplane bathroom combined with the bum leg and all, but we're smart, I'm sure we could figure something out."

Cameron simply raised an eyebrow and flashed him a pointed glare, choosing not to even deign that with a response, knowing that absolutely nothing good could come of it. "Well," she said instead, going right into the real reason she got his attention, "I was wondering if you know what happened last night, because I don't remember."

"And here I thought you were a doctor, I'm almost positive they still go over that in medschool," House replied with a smirk. "You see Allison," he began condescendingly, "when a man and a woman love each other very much… Oh wait, I don't think that applies in this situation. How about this, when a man and a woman consume large quantities of alcohol-"

"No House," she said, cutting him off with a roll of her eyes. "That part I don't want to remember. It's the stuff before that I'm trying to recall. The last thing I remember clearly was the craps table."

"Ug, fine," House sighed, knowing she wasn't going to leave him alone for him to get his own nap in until they had figured this out. "But I'm going to need a drink to get through this," he said reaching up and hitting the call button.

"How can you even possibly consider drinking anything after this morning," she asked, her stomach revolting at the very idea of more alcohol. "I never want to even think about the possibility of drinking again."

"Can I get a scotch for me and a gin and tonic for the little misses," he ordered from the flight attendent that promptly appeared. He loved traveling first class.

"Right away sir."

"House! What did I just say?" Cameron said exasperatedly.

"Buck up, Cameron. Hair of the dog, it'll make you feel better," he replied.

"No, a vitamin B-12 shot would make me feel better," she snapped irritably.

"Yeah well, it's a post 9-11 world and you can't get those through security," he responded, as the flight attendant returned with their drinks. "Now drink," he said putting the small airline size bottles and the plastic cup full of ice in front of her.

Cameron sighed defeatedly and mixed her drink, heavy on the tonic and took a small sip trying not to shudder visibly as she watched House drink his straight from the miniature bottle.

"So," he began, "we were at the craps table…"

Between the two of them they were eventually able to put together a rough outline of what had happened the night before. After the last seminar of the conference they had decided to celebrate with a little bit of gambling where House quickly concluded that Cameron was his lucky charm. And as the complementary drinks kept flowing at the high rollers table, House's winnings grew from ten thousand, to twenty thousand, to forty thousand and upwards.

Somewhere around this point, marriage began to seem like a good idea and they hopped in a taxi to go to the nearest jewelry store where they used a good portion of the winnings to buy the rock that was currently sitting on Cameron's left ring finger, and the simple white gold band that was sitting on House's. After that neither of them had any kind of recollection, fuzzy or otherwise, but they could only conclude they got married and went back to the hotel and had a night of drunken connubial bliss. Of course House didn't say it quite as politely as all that.

After putting the pieces together they sat in silence for a while, both absorbing and musing on what they had discussed. After a long moment it was Cameron who broke the silence first.

"Here," she said taking the diamond marquise solitaire off her finger and holding it out to him.

"What?" he asked, looking at the ring in her hand.

"The ring," she clarified, motioning for him to take it.

"Keep it," he told her with a shrug as he turned back towards the window considering the topic closed.

"What?" she asked, this time being her turn.

"It's not my size," he retorted sarcastically not bothering to look at her.

"House," she sighed sensibly, "this ring was incredibly expensive, I can not in good conscious keep it."

This time it was House's turn to sigh, his out of exasperation, as he once more rolled his head across the headrest so that he could level with her. "I bought the ring for you, it fits you, it looks good on you. I'm not going to fly back to Nevada to return it, and I'm not going to suddenly go run out and get married again so I can give it to someone else. I don't want it back."

"But-" she tried again.

"Cameron, keep the damn ring."

He continued to watch her as she looked at him pensively and then back down at the ring she was holding. She looked him in the eye once more for a long moment, before slowly and deliberately putting the ring on her right ring finger. Satisfied that she was doing as he said he moved to put his headphones back on, ending any sort of conversation they were having.

Just before he clamped them over his ears, he spoke one last time. "And I had better see you wearing that thing to work, as you said it was incredibly expensive. I want to get my moneys worth."

As he once more looked out the window, he didn't see the smile that flitted across her countenance as she shifted into a comfortable napping position. This time she had no trouble falling asleep.

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A/N There in ends chapter two… chapter three will resume with the first day back at work and House complicating what should be a relatively simple situation….So let me know what you all think!!

**Revised 9/18/09**


	3. Dead, Imprisoned, Or Married

A/N Wow you guys are all amazing!! I don't usually write/update this fast but the outpouring of support and response I've gotten has driven me to keep writing even faster… I just hope that this chapter continues to live up to all of your expectations…and I have to give a big thanks to Cornorama for helping me work through this chapter when I thought it sucked….

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As per the status quo, Cameron found herself to be the first one in the office on her first day back to work after the Nevada conference. However, she wasn't quite as early as usual, having not had time to readjust to the time difference so she wasn't terribly surprised when Forman showed up while she was still unpacking her bag at what she considered to be her desk since she was the only one who used it.

"How was the trip," Foreman asked amiably, sliding into his usual spot at the table.

"Umm," she replied as the diamond ring on her right hand caught the light steaming through the conference room blinds, "it was more interesting then I thought it would be."

"Yeah, sometimes those conferences can actually surprise you," he agreed taking her statement at face value.

"Right," she responded vaguely. "So, do you want some coffee?" she asked eager to change the topic.

"I would love some," Foreman replied quickly, "Chase actually tried to do it while you were gone. And that didn't end well for anyone," he only half joked as he picked up an article he hadn't finished the day before.

"What didn't end well?" the Australian in question asked as he entered the conference room to find Forman reading and Cameron making coffee.

"You failing miserably in your pathetic attempt to make consumable coffee," Forman told him, not bothering to look up.

Chase seemed to be having an internal battle on whether or not to be insulted at this jab at his coffee making abilities. He must have decided that Foreman was right because he let it go and instead turned his attention to Cameron.

"So I see you made it back in one piece," Chase commented nonchalantly as he gratefully accepted two mugs from her, one for himself and one to hand over to Foreman.

"What do you mean?" Cameron asked watching her coworker sit down.

"There was a betting pool going around upstairs on the odds that you two would never come back," the blonde clarified. "Bonus points for guessing which one of you would be dead and which of you would be in prison for killing the other."

"Either that," Forman added with a teasing smile, "or you would come back married."

Before Cameron even had the slightest chance to react to this statement, House breezed into the conference room hearing the tail end of the conversation, Wilson trailing a half step behind.

"Forman was right, alert the winners," he said limping towards a stunned Cameron who was holding his red mug. "Did you make my coffee wifey?"

Chase chuckled lightly and Forman just shook his head at House's usual antics until they both noticed the peculiar ashen color their female colleague was turning as she stared at their boss in horror.

"I… I thought we agreed not to tell anyone," she sputtered, not so under her breath.

"Did we?" House asked, mock disconcertion playing across his features. "Oops," he shrugged as he rescued his coffee out of Cameron's hand which was in imminent danger of dropping to the floor. Then with a wink he turned on his good heel and disappeared into his office.

Cameron remained frozen for a long moment continuing to stare in the space House had recently occupied as she attempted to process what had just happened. It was unclear just how long she would have stood there left to her own devices, as it wasn't until Chase cleared his throat lightly that she became aware of the three sets of intensely curious eyes that were focused on her. Giving them a fleeting glance she quickly marched into the adjoining office.

"House!" she shouted as the tension hinge pulled the door shut behind her. "We decided, _you_ agreed with me, last night on the cab ride home from the airport, that telling everyone at work would be a very, _very _bad idea!"

"Yes," House answered innocently from where he sat, lounging on the edge of his desk, his long legs crossed at the ankles. "I agreed that telling everyone _would_ be a bad idea. I never actually agreed to not tell anyone," he revealed taking a sip of the fresh coffee she had just prepared. "This is good," he added, conversationally, "is it a new brand?"

"Why! Why, were you physically incapable of keeping your mouth shut for once in your life!" she exclaimed, getting right up in his face and jabbing him a couple times in the shoulder with an indignant finger.

House looked over her shoulder to see all three men in the conference room gaping openly and unashamedly as they watched the scene play out through the glass. With a devious grin he took the hand she was accosting him with quickly in his own and leaned forward so that he could whisper in her ear.

"House, what are you doing?" she asked, confused even through her anger.

"You know my little pumpernickel," he said huskily as his breath tickled her ear, "you look terribly sexy when you're angry, with your eyes flashing dangerously like that. Do you think we should give them a free show out there or should we charge them admission first."

Cameron's head swiveled slowly towards the window, her gaze narrowing when she spotted her colleagues watching them with even wider eyes than they had been a few moments prior. With an angry huff she stormed over to the blinds and pulled them shut with such force that for a second House thought she was going to pull the whole setup right off the wall. Some semblance of privacy restored, she whipped back around, her hands perched firmly on her hips when she was presented with a smugly smirking House.

"What the hell was that for?" she demanded, lowering her voice so the others couldn't hear. "Now everyone out there is going to think we're actually married! Why must you make everything so difficult?"

"Well for one," the older doctor laughed, "we _are _actually married. And two, I find it amusing that you are standing there all hot and bothered with me, when I'm not the one who told everyone we're married. You were the one who couldn't keep her mouth shut."

"What!" Cameron exclaimed, throwing up her hands in exasperation. "How does that work? I'm pretty sure that you were the one that walked into to the office this morning calling me your wife."

"Ah, but you see," he started, as if he was explaining something to a petulant child. "All three of them are used to me making inappropriate comments at every turn. If you had simply rolled your eyes at me like you always do, they would never have thought twice about it, and our nuptials would have remained our dirty little secret. But no… you had to go and get all incensed about it and now they're all out there full of questions. Ergo," he paused for effect, "not my fault."

A whole myriad of emotions flickered across Cameron's countenance in a matter of seconds. Anger, dismay, and finally a grim sort of acceptance at the validity of his statements. All the fight drained out of her and House could actually pinpoint the moment she physically deflated like a popped balloon. Crossing the office, she sat down heavily on the couch, irritated because she knew that he was right, as usual, and that she had blown it in her thoughtless panic.

House simply observed as she sat there, looking quite pathetic with her head in her hands. She was taking this really hard, he almost felt guilty about it…almost.

"Cheer up buttercup," he told her as he moved around to the other side of his desk so he could sit in his chair. "You're acting like your puppy just died, it's depressing me. Now go do my clinic hours. Hey," he said brightly as he threw her his name tag which she instinctively caught, "now you wont be lying when you clock in as Dr. House. Cuddy cant get mad if Dr. House is doing the hours Dr. House is scheduled for. See, I knew this whole marriage thing was a good idea."

"House," she said evenly, making eye contact as she looked up from the nametag she was holding in her palm, "this isn't a game."

Before he could respond with an inappropriate sexual innuendo, she had stood and was out the door. She had taken his nametag with her, so pulled his iPod out of the drawer and sat back in his chair, assured that his hours for the day would be done.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Meanwhile, a very short distance away, three very highly respected doctors, three extremely educated and generally well spoken men, were absolutely and positively gob smacked.

"You don't actually think that they…" Wilson started, the first brave enough to break the silence and voice what they were all thinking.

"No, they couldn't have…" Forman quickly countered, shaking his head.

"But then why would Cameron…" Chase began to ask, still looking at where she had been standing, before she had angrily shut the blinds.

"She wouldn't," Forman agreed, thinking logically of what he knew of his coworker of the past few years. "Unless…"

"But this is House we're talking about," Wilson reminded them emphatically.

"They did just get back from a week in Vegas," Forman pointed out.

"Yeah, for a medical conference, not a wedding," Wilson replied, not buying it for a minute.

"Everyone in this hospital knows that Cameron has always harbored feelings for House even though she denies it," the neurologist retorted.

"But if that where true, then why would she be so angry at him for saying something?" the oncologist challenged. "She was telling everyone who would listen when they went on that date awhile back."

"And look how that turned out last time," the younger doctor reminded him. "Maybe this time she wanted to keep it quiet. Besides, why would she have reacted so strongly if they hadn't gotten married? And did you see that in there?" he asked pointing towards the now shut blinds of the office. "That was a lovers quarrel if I ever saw one."

"I know what it looked like, but it _couldn't_ have been," Wilson insisted. "I've been best friends with House since college and he would not just go out and get married on a whim, albeit to his much younger and very attractive subordinate, after a week in Vegas!"

Forman was about to rebut, but never got the chance as Chase, who had had up until this point been conspicuously quiet, finally remembered what he had been silently trying so hard to remember while they were going back and forth at the odds of House getting married.

"A ring!" Chase shouted standing up suddenly, startling both of the other doctors. "When she handed me my coffee this morning," he explained miming the motions they had gone through just a few moments before, "I noticed she was wearing a diamond ring." He paused, replaying the moment again in his mind. "But it was on her right hand, not her left."

"See," Foreman said pointedly to Wilson, "she's never worn an engagement ring to work before."

"That could have been a present from her grandmother or something," Wilson lamely tried to explain away. "And Chase just said it was on the wrong hand."

"But what if she just didn't want us _thinking_ it was an engagement ring," Chase mused thoughtfully, sitting back down at the conference table, completely on the fence about the whole topic. "But I don't see Cameron as the eloping in Vegas sort either."

Both Wilson and Foreman had something to say about that, but they quickly shut their mouths when the door connecting the conference room and the office swung open suddenly and Cameron walked into the room. All three men failed miserably in their attempts to act casually and _not_ like they were all just talking about her, but it didn't really matter as she paused only long enough to grab her lab coat before continuing out into the hall on her way down to the clinic.

They remained silent as they watched her leave until she was completely around the corner out of sight. At which point Chase muttered something about helping out in the NICU grabbed his own lab coat and left, Foreman mentioned a consult and quickly followed suit, and Wilson, well he didn't say anything or go anywhere, he had a cranky diagnostician to interrogate.

* * *

A/N And there we have it…chapter three, the longest chapter so far… so what did you all think? Well I hoped you all enjoyed it, cause I'm going home for the weekend which means I'm probably not going to have a chance to write/update until next week… chapter 4 will pick up right where this one left off and it tentatively entitled "Then Lets Make it a Game" in which House will complicate this situation even further….

Updated 9/21/09


	4. Then Lets Make It A Game

A/N Here we are again at chapter four…thanks again for all the wonderful reviews! They truly make my day… oh and in regards to my AN at the end of chapter three, House does not further complicate the situation in the way I mean when I wrote that…that will be saved for chapter five….so I'm done babbling and now I'll let you read…

* * *

House watched with mild interest as Cameron stormed out of his office before rifling through his desk drawers until he found a distraction that caught his interest. Deciding on his iPod, he snatched it out of the drawer and fit the buds into his ears. Scrolling through his large and varied music collection for something to listen to, he smirked as he selected the band Social Distortion. The 80s hardcore punk rock band wasn't his usual fare, but listening to the song Ball and Chain was simply too apropos to pass up. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes hoping he could get a nap in since he hadn't slept well the night before.

He idly wondered how long it would be before someone tried to ruin his morning, most likely by talking to him. It turned out that he had jinxed himself as it would be sooner rather than later as he sighed internally when a rush of cool air alerted him to the fact that someone had opened the door and walked into his office. And by the intensity of the disapproving stare that he could feel through his closed eyelids, he knew it could only be Wilson. After a moments consideration of possible actions on his part and a careful weighing of the pros and cons, he decided to just ignore his friend and reconsider acknowledging him once the next song ended.

It seemed, however, that the good Dr. Wilson was not willing to wait that long, as the music abruptly stopped when the ear buds were pulled from his ears.

"Did you need something?" House asked innocently as one eyelid popped open so he could look up at the oncologist.

"What the hell was all that about?" Wilson asked pointing back towards the conference room, wasting no time getting straight to the point.

"What was what about?"

Wilson sighed internally when he realized the way this conversation was going to go. But he wasn't about to give up on his quest for real answers, even if it meant he was going to have to spend some time digging. "Hmmm, I don't know," he retorted as he scratched his chin in faux thought. "How about when you said that you and Cameron got married last week!" he exploded, spelling it out in big giant neon letters.

"Did I say that?" House asked with a guileless look that had no place anywhere near his countenance.

"Well I'm pretty sure that's what it sounded like," Wilson deadpanned.

"Well if that's what it sounded like," House replied simply, "then who am I to say otherwise?"

"What are you up to House?" Wilson asked coolly, crossing over to House's desk and leaning over it, both palms pressed against the glass table top.

"What makes you think I'm up to something?" House continued to evade easily.

"I always knew… no, I _know_ you like her more than the average immunologist, and more then you would ever actually let on to me, or anyone else in this hospital. But not enough to actually _marry_ her," he replied, the disbelief clear in his voice.

"What can I say, autoimmune diseases get me hot," House shrugged helplessly.

"Oh come off it House, be serious. We all know that you did not elope with Allison Cameron some time in the past week."

"Do we now?" House responded, clearly enjoying how flustered his best friend was. "And who exactly are _we_?"

"Well that's what I think," Wilson clarified. "For some reason Forman seems to be convinced that you were actually asinine enough to get hitched and Chase is just plain confused. So," he asked again, "which is it, who is right?"

"You know," House started, still managing to avoid giving any kind of a straight answer, "for someone who seems to enjoy the institution of marriage as much as you do, so much so to try it multiple times, you really seem to be against me joining the club. Should I be insulted? I'm not sure. What's wrong, is it that you don't want to give me the password to the secret club house?"

"You don't even believe in marriage," Wilson pointed out. "You make it a point of telling me what a mistake it is multiple times before every single one of my weddings."

"But Cameron _does_ believe in marriage, she's made that point several times. Like you, she's even done it before. And besides, whose to say I just don't believe in your marriages," House countered logically.

"I don't care how in love Foreman says she still is with you, she is way too smart to ever actually permanently attach herself to you, even if, for some godforsaken reason, you were stupid enough to think it was a good idea."

"I'll be sure to let her know you hold her intelligence in such high esteem," he said winding the ear buds around his iPod realizing that he wasn't going to get a chance to go back to his music listening any time soon.

Wilson sighed, knowing he wasn't getting anywhere with this line of questioning. Time to try something different.

"Okay fine you got me. Ha ha, very funny. Now tell me who the real mark is," Wilson requested, used to being on the inside of House's practical jokes. "Is it Cuddy for making you to the conference?"

"Why would me getting married to Cameron affect Cuddy in the slightest?" House asked. "Except maybe some paperwork, but HR would probably handle that. I mean unless Cuddy was harboring some deep seeded love for me." He stopped to consider it for a moment before shaking his head. "Nah, that's just plain icky."

"House, what are you playing at?" Wilson asked genuinely, once again changing tactics, hoping that perhaps, for once, sincerity would get an honest response from his friend.

House glanced at the PSP that was sitting innocently on the corner of his desk.

"Well at the moment Ace Combat X: Skies of Deception," he replied picking up the handheld game console and turning it on.

This time, Wilson knowingly allowed his attention to be diverted.

"Do you really mean to tell me that you have wasted your time playing the first nine of the series?" he asked. Although he didn't know why he should be surprised, he knew more than anyone just how much time he spent on that thing.

"For your information, there are not in fact nine prior games," House scoffed. "I would think that would be common knowledge."

"Well excuse me, I know I meant to dedicate myself to an in depth study of all things Gamebox, but I suppose I spent that time becoming and being an oncologist. You know coordinating the multidisciplinary care of cancer patients, which may involve little things like physiotherapy, counseling, clinical genetics, actually seeing and talking to my patients or any of the other silly things I do on a regular basis. Unfortunately that doesn't leave me much time to become a World War I flying ace."

"Yes, instead you've become Jimmy Boy Wonder, patron saint of bald cancer kids everywhere. However, this means that not only will you never have any chance of ever beating my high score, but it also means that you will continue to humiliate yourself by actually thinking that a Gamebox, is a real gaming system," House replied shaking his head in shame for his friend.

"And now I'm going to go cry about it in my office," Wilson said sarcastically. He was well aware that he wasn't going to get anymore information about Cameron and what may or may not have happened in the past week out of House. At least not right now, no, he was going to have to figure this one out on his own. Well maybe he could enlist the help of a few others.

"I know something deeper is going on House. And its only a matter of time before I figure out what kind of game you're playing," Wilson insisted as he turned and walked out of the office.

_What kind of game I'm playing, _House repeated in him mind as he paused his game. _Didn't Cameron say something about it not being a game earlier…_

He honestly hadn't meant for any of this to happen, not that he wasn't enjoying it now that it had, and he truly wasn't playing a game with anyone. Cameron was the one who panicked and started this whole mess and Wilson was the one who wanted to dig things up that would be better off remaining buried. Of course, while it wasn't a game at the moment, he could certainly make it one.

A metaphorical light bulb went off over his head as a plan formulated in his mind. The only potential problem he could foresee was getting the involvement from the other key participant of his little scheme. But with his legendary powers of persuasion he was confident that he wouldn't have any problems convincing her to be his accomplice in his latest ruse.

He knew he would have to get her agreement sooner rather than later, but as he glanced down at the PSP he was holding loosely in his hands, he figured it could wait until lunch. After all he had just finished 'hard' and was about to move on to 'Ace'.

* * *

A/N Not the longest chapter but the next one will be longer as we find out exactly what House's plan is and whether he will get his accomplice to comply…although I'm sure most of you will be able to figure out what's going on so let me know what you all think!

A big thanks has to go to Corrin on this chapter for being my PSP expert….any of the facts about Ace Combat, come squarely from her… she also deserves a big thanks for being my personal sounding board….

**Revised 11/3/09**


	5. The Chicken Caesar Anniversary

A/N Holy Canolli Batman! Over a 100 reviews in four chapters! *passes out from shock and joy* Thank you all so much for all the feedback and support, it truly inspires me to write faster….So thank you all again and I also have to extend my gratitude to my friend Corrin for giving me the General Hospital information in this chapter as well as all the other help she lent…so thanks hon! Now on to the chapter…

* * *

Allison Cameron was currently hiding.

Patients, nurses, hospital administrators, her boss, herself, the whole world, specifics didn't matter, she was hiding from them all. She had started off trying to do her clinic hours - well House's hours - but it wasn't long before she realized that if she had to listen to one more mother who thought their child's cough was pneumonia or if she had to put up with one more old man her grandfather's age with athletes foot, try to hit on her, she was going to loose it.

That was what led her to her current course of action. Which just happened to be laying down on one of the clinic room's examination tables with one arm draped across her face to cover her eyes from the harsh florescent lighting as she tried to will the rest of the world away. At first she felt guilty for skimping out on her duties to the clinic, but then she reasoned that she was actually doing House's hours, not her own, and that if he were down here, he would be doing the exact same thing she was doing now, so in actuality it was just par for the course. She groaned lightly, she hated sports metaphors, even the ones she made herself.

It was then that the beeper that resided on her right hip called her attention away from her self-pitying musings. She sighed audibly when she read the message. _Your hubby's office STAT. _While all she really wanted to do was ignore it, since in all likelihood it meant that House was bored and would like to annoy her some more, she also knew it could very possibly be a patient and she refused to let the mess that had become her personal life interfere with her work. Well anymore than it already had.

She clocked out of the clinic and managed to make her way to the elevator and up to the correct floor, successfully avoiding any kind of conversation. But what she saw once she arrived at the Diagnostics department gave her pause. The conference room was empty so she wanted to assume that the boys were simply in the office with House. However, he had never reopened the blinds she had closed earlier, so there was no real way to tell.

Taking a deep but not so cleansing breath, she opened the door hoping against hope that she would be walking into the middle of a differential session. But it seemed that this was not her day, let alone week, and her wish was not granted when she saw that House was indeed by himself and apparently waiting for her as he was sitting behind his desk looking back at her quite expectantly.

"What took you so long?" House asked accusatorily the moment she opened the door. "I'm starving."

"What?" Cameron asked, genuinely confused.

"I would make a comment about you letting the food get cold, but I happen to like my Rueben cold and the rabbit food you eat is supposed to be that way," he continued as he stood, picked up two food cartons, handed one to her and sat down on the couch with the other.

"What is this?" she asked, cautiously opening the Styrofoam carton as if it was something completely foreign to her.

"In some cultures they call it a grilled chicken Caesar salad," he replied picking up his sandwich and taking a large bite, not bothering to chew and swallow before continuing. "You eat it, most people find using a fork is helpful, but I suppose that's your prerogative."

"I know what it is," she retorted irritably, continuing to stare at it. "I guess the better question is _why_ are you giving me a Caesar salad?"

"Because it's lunch time, and I've heard that even your kind gets hungry occasionally. Now stop starring at your lunch like you're expecting it do a trick and just eat it."

"In all the years I've been working for you, you have never bought me lunch," she pointed out, not even about to touch that _your kind _comment. "Cut in front of me in the lunch line and then stick me with your bill, sure, but buy _my_ lunch and have it waiting in your office for me? Never."

"We've also never been married before," he pointed out in return. "What," he asked when she continued to look at him doubtfully, "is it so wrong for me to want to have lunch with the little missus?"

"Seriously, what did you do to it?" she asked warily, choosing to ignore the little missus comment as well, as she peered under the Styrofoam cover yet again.

"Why are you so suspicious?" he questioned in return, not even sure if he was amused or irritated by her refusal to just take the damn salad at this point.

"It's not paranoia of they're actually out to get you," she countered.

"Well _I_ didn't do anything to it, but I can't vouch for the lunch ladies and they can be a wily bunch. I don't think you have done anything to piss them off recently so I think you're safe," he assured her. "On the other hand, I have and since I'm the one who bought it, there is in fact a large possibility that someone did do something. On the other hand, I've never actually bought a salad before so they wouldn't have had time to prepare something to do to it. On the other hand…wait how many hands am I on?"

Cameron simply sighed in defeat and sat down on the couch next to him, well more accurately she sat down as far away from him as she could and still technically be on the same couch. They ate in silence for a few minutes and House turned the TV on and flipped it over to General Hospital.

"House-" Cameron started to speak.

"Shhh, they're about to reveal if baby Spencer is really baby John after all. Which I can't see as possible because Robin did the blood test and she is a real professional," he relayed, glancing over at her. "But if Iago Rademacher stays on the show then I bet they will do it after all."

The doubtful look on the immunologist's face told him that she had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. He sighed audibly before attempting to explain further.

"Baby John was Jax's son, then they did a blood test and found out that he was Nik's son. Jax was married to the baby's mother, but she also slept with Nikolas Cassadine who's a Greek prince," he could tell she was still confused. "Good lord woman! Do you know nothing? What do you do all day? Well I'm not going to sit here the whole time and explain it to you so I end up missing something important. You are just going to have to follow along as best you can and figure it out yourself."

Cameron simply rolled her eyes and returned to her salad until the commercial break, it wasn't as if she actually cared what happened to the residents of Port Charles.

"Now you may speak," House announced as a commercial for Bounce fabric softener began playing on the screen.

"What do you want from me House?" she asked simply.

"Who said I want something from you?" he answered with another question.

"You must want something from me to call me in here and it must be something huge for you to buy me food. I break the law on a regular basis simply because you ask me too, so the fact that you're actually trying to soften me up with lunch concerns me greatly," she said, laying the cards, as she saw, them on the table.

"I am deeply, _deeply_ hurt and aggrieved that you would call my intentions into question like that. Don't you realize what today is?" he asked dramatically clutching a hand to his heart.

Cameron looked back at him, the look on her face clearly showing that she feared whatever he was about to say next. "What?" she finally asked when it became clear he was not going to go on without some sort of prompt from her.

"It's our 72 hour anniversary! I cant believe you forgot, it's a very important milestone. And I got you that," he said in all seriousness, pointing at the carton on her lap, "because everybody knows that three days is the chicken Caesar anniversary."

"Ah yes," Cameron replied smiling in spite of herself, "how could I have forgotten. I'm terribly sorry."

House looked her up and down for a long moment, as if evaluating the sincerity of her remorse and deciding if she was worth his forgiveness.

"Well, I suppose as long as you don't forget our 24 day anniversary," he said finally. "That's the circus animal cookie anniversary."

"I'll keep that in mind," Cameron responded, chuckling softly.

She realized she had almost forgotten how the conversation started and was going to ask what it was he wanted again, but the soap came back on and she knew there was no point in saying anything until the next commercial. And when a trailer for the new slasher movie that was coming out started playing Cameron was going to ask, but didn't get the chance since it was House spoke first.

"I have a proposal for you," the older doctor announced, not looking away from the screen.

"I'm not sure it would be wise for me to hear it, considering the last proposal you made was the one that got us in to this mess," Cameron retorted wryly.

"How do you know that _you're_ not the one who popped the question?" House asked turning towards her, actually curious to hear her reasoning.

"It had to have been your idea," she replied simply with all confidence. "I never could have convinced to you to get married regardless of how drunk you were. Where as I know that when I'm drunk, I can pretty much be talked into anything."

House filed this useful little tidbit of information away for later.

"But based on all prior evidence in this twisted relationship we seem to be having, you have always been the instigator," he pointed out.

"Actually, you were the one who started this whole thing with the monster trucks date," Cameron rebutted.

"It wasn't a date."

"Keep telling yourself that," she replied with a half smile. "Besides I had to blackmail you into even going on that date with me. Which I admit was not my proudest moment, and not something I had ever had to reduce myself to before to get a date, but it was blackmail nonetheless. And that was just a date, a couple of hours out of one evening of your life, not until death do us part. And I'm still pretty morally sure that you only even agreed to the date because you didn't want to have to interview for a new fellow and because you knew that it would give you the perfect opportunity to toy with me and then crush any ideas I might have had that something might have actually happened between us," she said in a rush before pausing and looking out the office windows as her face flushed in embarrassment for having revealed her thoughts about their disastrous dinner out.

House frowned slightly when he heard what she assumed his intentions were that night. He was a bit uncomfortable with the fact that she thought he would be so intentionally cruel, but then he realized that she had every right and reason to believe that.

"I didn't plan on saying those things to you that night," he said softly with his attention returning to the TV where the show had begun again. "I meant to let you have a good time. You asked me a personal question. I don't like personal questions."

"I know," she replied matching his tone.

The both remained silent as they watched the screen and picked at what was left of their lunches. The show ended and House wordlessly turned off the TV.

"House, tell me what you want or I'm going back down to the clinic," she said after a long moment.

"I want to act like we got married on purpose," he announced, turning to look at her.

Cameron looked back at him and blinked, once, twice, three times before looking away. Of all the requests she had imagined coming from him, that was not one of them.

"Now I understand the chicken Caesar," she quipped quietly, looking down at the mostly eaten salad in her lap. "You should have gotten a Diet Coke too."

She didn't say anything else for several long minutes and House almost told her to forget about it, but then she spoke again.

"May I ask why?" she asked with that honest sincerity in her eyes that he had often mocked in the past.

"Because it will mess with everyone's heads," he replied as if that explained everything. "It will be hilarious."

Cameron looked back down at her lap and closed her eyes so that he couldn't read them. For a second there she had let herself believe that House was saying that he actually wanted to be married to her. And for some incomprehensible reason this had made her happy. She pushed this from her mind and concentrated on his unusual request. Although nothing about marrying your boss and having sex with him while plastered in Vegas could be considered usual.

"But then what happens when the annulment comes through?" she asked rubbing her temples, feeling a headache coming on. "What do we tell everyone then?"

"We can burn that bridge when we get to it," House replied with a dismissive wave of his hand, happy that she was even considering it. That was actually more then he expected. "But think about how much fun we can have until then," he said going in for the hard sell. "Forman is already convinced that we are happily married, but Wilson is sure that this all one great big plot against him somehow and Chase is even more confused than he normally is. I cant wait to see what Cuddy's reaction is going to be."

Cameron acknowledged internally that it would be pretty funny to pull one over on her co-workers. But it would mean having to spend a lot of up close and personal time with her boss, something that she wasn't sure if it would go into the pro or con column. Her rational side told her that this was a very bad idea and that there was no possible way that this could end well. But then the less responsible, less mature, eat a whole gallon of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream out of the carton in one sitting, part of her wanted to go for it and screw the consequences.

"Come on Cameron, we could make it interesting and see how soon we can actually make Chase pass out from shock. So, are you game?" House asked, pressing for a response.

However, before she could give her final answer, she was interrupted by Cuddy, who chose that moment to burst into the room.

* * *

A/N So, its my first mini cliffy…lol… I'm surprised it took me this long, I use them all the time in my other stories, and this one isn't even bad….lol…but now we're getting into the core of our plot… and I would love to hear what you all think… perhaps you're favorite part or line? I already started the next chapter and it once again, picks up right where this one leaves off…

**REVISED 11/04**


	6. And So It Begins

A/N Hey everyone! Sorry this chapter took a little bit longer for me to get up…. Things have just been a little crazy here… and thanks again everyone for your continued support… they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside…

* * *

"So, are you game?" House asked, pressing for a response.

However, before she could give her final answer, she was interrupted by Cuddy who chose that moment to burst into the room.

"House, what have I told you about pawning off your clinic hours on your fellows!" the administrator asked angrily.

"Don't get you panties in a bunch," the diagnostician replied. "The schedule clearly said Dr. House, it's not my fault if it simply never specified which one."

"What are you talking about House?" Cuddy asked impatiently, but becoming genuinely confused as she absorbed the scene in front of her as she noticed that Cameron was in the room as well and they both had food cartons in their laps. "Are the two of you eating lunch together?"

"Excellent powers of deduction," House quipped. "Is that why they gave you the big office? And here I thought it was because of your amazing-"

"Why?" Cuddy asked, interrupting what was bound to be a highly inappropriate comment.

"Why what?" House responded.

"Why are you eating lunch together? You've never eaten lunch together before," Cuddy replied, completely perplexed by this anomaly.

"How do you know that?" House asked lightly.

"Because this is my hospital, I know everything that goes on here," she replied surely.

"Well apparently not everything," he replied with that particular self satisfied smirk he only got when he knew something you didn't.

Cuddy looked at House. then over to Cameron, and back at House. She knew that she was missing something, and she was quickly getting the impression that it was something important.

"What exactly is going on here?" she asked, in her best _don't lie to me _tone.

House looked at Cameron signaling for her to answer. He needed to know now if she was going to play along, since he wouldn't be able to keep up the charade without her help. This was the moment of truth, it was all or nothing. Taking her cue, Cameron turned to her boss's boss and spoke.

"Greg and I got married while we were in Las Vegas last week," Cameron announced less awkwardly than either of them would have expected.

"You're joking," Cuddy replied quickly, before the younger woman's words even had a chance to sink in.

"Oh, I wish I was," Cameron replied jokingly with a smile that Cuddy was too shocked to notice was forced.

"What the hell happened? Did you two get blind drunk and decide it was a good idea to get married?" she asked disbelievingly, unknowingly hitting the nail right on the head.

"Of course not," House replied as if seriously affronted. "Allison and I have been seeing each other for… How long has it been darling?" he asked, once more passing her the ball and also picking up on her use of first names.

"Well I don't know dear," she said pausing, looking as if she was making a mental calculation. "It depends on if you are counting from the first time we slept together or the first time we actually went out on a date. Because the former happened about a month and a half before the later."

House had to hide his surprise at his usually innocent underling's unexpected answer. He was beginning to think that this whole ordeal might be even more fun than he had initially been expecting. He looked back at Cuddy and saw she hadn't even made an attempt to hide her surprise. He had to bite back a laugh as he saw his usually unflappable boss openly staring in wide eyed, slack jawed shock. It didn't help matters that at some point during this exchange House had snaked his arm around Cameron's waist and pulled her close to him and Cameron was resting a hand on his knee.

The hospital administrator turned on her spiked heel and walked from the room without another word, all prior concern about clinic hours currently forgotten. As soon as the door swung shut and they could hear Cuddy's Manolos clicking down the corridor, the two doctors sprung apart, quickly retreating to their respective sides of the couch.

"See now wasn't that fun?" House asked attempting to dissolve some of the awkward tension in the room. "I think we just got ourselves out of clinic duty for the rest of the day, possibly the rest of the week depending on how long it takes for the shock to wear off."

Cameron bit her lip in an attempt to restrain her smile. "I have to admit, I never actually thought I would see the day where I would see Cuddy's jaw drop like that."

"I know, I haven't been able to shock her like that in years. Enrage, disgust, amaze, occasionally mildly surprise, I can still do, but to shock speechless? I don't think I've been able to do that in at least eight years. So you deserve double points for that little statement of yours," he verbally applauded her, "that's what put her over the edge. I think I'm going to have to marry Wilson next time to top that reaction."

"No," Cameron replied, shaking her head in disagreement, "that wouldn't shock anybody."

He looked at her in surprise for a moment, before beginning to laugh. "Touché," he agreed, deciding he liked this side of Cameron.

Feeding off his laughter, Cameron began laughing as well, which caused them to feed off each other as they laughed heartily for several minutes at the ridiculousness of the whole situation they had gotten themselves into. As they sobered, Cameron was the first one to speak.

"You know, if we're going to do this thing, we should do it right."

"I like the way you think," House replied lecherously.

"What I mean," Cameron continued, pointedly ignoring his interjection, "is that we should get our stories straight. Figure out a believable history, how long we've been together, how we got together, stuff like that."

"Yes, like this month and a half we were just having sex…when, where, what positions? We should really figure out all of those details, you never now what might come up," he said wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

"House, this was your idea, if you don't want to help me figure this out, then I can go find Cuddy right now and explain the whole thing to her," Cameron threatened, the expression on her face making it clear that she had no qualms following through with it.

"Eight months," he said in reply. "Remember when we were both here late by ourselves on Christmas Eve watching the Albino girl-"

"Tonya," Cameron supplied.

House gave her a look that told her exactly what he thought of her remembering the name of a patient from eight months ago, but refrained from making a verbal comment.

"As I was saying, we were here late all alone on Christmas, no family or friends to watch 'It's a Beautiful Life' with or to share old stories of Christmas' past over tall glasses of eggnog with, so naturally we took comfort in each other," he said dramatically. "And then one thing led to another and we ended making sweet sweet love on the conference room table."

Cameron raised a single arched eyebrow. "Fine, then you took me out for the first time on Valentine's Day."

House made a face. "But that's so cheesy," he complained.

"And lonely Christmas sex isn't?" Cameron challenged.

"Hey, maybe it was lonely Christmas sex for you," House retorted. "I was just taking advantage of my young and beautiful employee in her moment of weakness. And the sex was so good I didn't want to give it up. And I'm assuming it was good if the scratches on my back are any indication."

House watched in amusement as he watch the color appear from under her collar and crept up her neck before spreading across her cheeks. Apparently she could only talk about fictional sex, and the real thing embarrassed her.

"Did I really-?" she started to ask tentatively.

"Yup, did you want to see?" he asked starting to raise his shirt.

"No!" she quickly replied. "I believe you. And umm… I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be," he returned suggestively, making the color in her cheeks rise to her hairline.

"Anyways," Cameron said, shaking off the previous portion of the conversation, "I told Cuddy a month and a half. If we started sleeping together on Christmas then that would mean Valentines Day. And it works, because if you remember the boys found out I had a date, but I never told them who, because they kept bugging me about it and it was pissing me off. They'll just think it was you and that's why I refused to give them any details."

"Fine," he relented. "And we decided to keep it out of the Hospital because you didn't want the whole Hospital to know you were sleeping with your boss, and I didn't want the other duckys getting jealous," House added.

"And so," she continued, picking up the narrative, "when Cuddy approached me to go to Las Vegas with you to keep an eye on you, I agreed with only minimal convincing."

"She had to convince you?" House interjected to ask, this being news to him.

Cameron just smirked in reply and continued. "And then you proposed on the top of the Stratosphere-"

"Oh good god no," House interrupted. "We have to make it believable right? No one who knows me would believe that…"

"Alright then," Cameron laughed, conceding that he was right on that point, "how did you propose?"

House considered this a moment. He had never had the desire to propose to someone so he had never really considered it. True he had been with Stacy for five years, and had lived with her for as long, but he had been perfectly content with the status quo and saw no reason to change anything about their situation and it was a good thing he hadn't, considering how that sordid tale turned out.

"I didn't even ask you," he said finally, pushing his previous thoughts to the back of his mind as irrelevant. "You just woke up one morning with a ring on your finger and you were so excited that you insisted we go out and get married that afternoon before I had a chance to change my mind."

Cameron laughed again at his admittedly more realistic version of events.

"Okay, and so I still wasn't ready to tell everyone yet," she said, bringing the story up to date, "but you didn't see a reason for keeping it quiet anymore so you decided to announce it this morning. You figured that since we were actually married, that it would prove that what we have is for real and I couldn't say that people would think I was just sleeping with you to get ahead."

"And Cuddy can't complain that a relationship would affect our work since she didn't even figure it out for the first eight months," House concluded. "Not that it wont now, now that everyone knows," he said with a devious smile. "This is going to be fun."

Cameron returned a slightly more wary smile as she wondered exactly what she was getting herself into.

* * *

A/N Alright there it is…. And now the game is on…lol… the next chapter is almost done and called "Not Part Of The Plan" and includes our first real bit of H/C action, so I'll love you all forever if you give me a little incentive to write and finish it…

**Revised 11/04/2009**


	7. Not Part Of The Plan

A/N And here's the next chapter… hope it was satisfactorily quick enough… I'm really enjoying writing this story so thank you all for coming on the ride with me…. So this was supposed to be a half page tag on to the last chapter but it kinda exploded into its own thing…but since you guys get an extra chapter out of it, I figured you wouldn't complain….

* * *

It had truely been a rather trying day on all accounts and the only thing Cameron really wanted to do was to go home, take a long hot bubble bath with a glass of wine and keep her date with F. Scott Fitzgerald and her well worn copy of _Tender is the Night_. Unfortunately, there were still a few things left on the agenda before she could get started on her plans for the evening.

After her ill advised decision to go along with House's crazy scheme, the two of them had spent well over an hour brainstorming ideas and creating a number of plans to further confuse, annoy, and/or shock their coworkers. It was all to be very Hitchcockian, with lots of misdirection and suggestion on their part; sharing lunch in House's office, the use of first names, a little bit of physical contact here and there, perhaps a peck or two. Everything that they would actually be doing would be just tiptoeing the line of innocent on Cameron's insistence for agreeing to cooperate, but to everyone else, it would imply anything but innocence, as their avid imaginations would quickly fill in the blanks.

Sore from being hunched over a variety of lab equipment for the past couple of hours, she stretched lightly before looking down at her watch. Seeing that it was twelve minutes to six she quickly turned off the microscope she was using, tidied up her work station, and made her way to the elevator. After their afternoon of not so very evil plotting, Cameron had disappeared down to the labs, helping the immunology department with their backed up work, while House holed himself away in one of his many corners of the hospital that he used to avoid Cuddy until they could reconvene to commence phase one of their plan at 1800 hours.

_Or is it phase two? _She wondered idly as she watched the lit up numbers advance above the door_. Since this morning should probably count as a phase. Actually it might be phase three if you count the- oh why am I even wondering about this? _

As the elevator came to a stop, the double doors sliding open to let her off on her floor, she made her way to her destination noticing that they would be playing to a full audience since Wilson had joined Chase and Forman in the conference room once again. Most likely to gossip about her and House, she realized.

_Doesn't he have any of his own patients to deal with?_ she grumbled to herself as she anxiously played with the ring that was now conspicuously back on her left hand_. Oh well, it will probably be better to hit all three of them at once anyways. _She then took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and walked causally into the conference room.

The fact that all three men stopped talking upon her entrance confirmed her earlier suspicions as to the topic of their conversation. She made a point of ignoring their watchful stares as she pulled out a stack of House's charts that he was behind on and sat down at her usual spot at the table. Glancing at her watch again, she saw it was now three till and silently prayed that House would show up soon, before the three musketeers could start asking questions.

She gave an imperceptible sigh of relief when at exactly six she heard House's distinctive gait coming down the hallway. She didn't have to look up to know that he went into his office to gather his things to go home, this was all part of phase…whichever it was, as was planned by them earlier that day. He was then going to come into the conference room and ask her if she was ready to go home, implying they were going to the same place. She would then reply that she was going to finish up the paper work and she would follow him in a bit, she would then give him a chaste - after all they were in the office - kiss goodbye. He would then go home leaving her with a stunned trio, where she was to reply, 'none of your business' to any questions. Simple, right?

"Are you ready to go home, Allison?" House asked walking in from his office as he shrugged on his jacket, using her first name as they had agreed to earlier.

"Not yet Greg, I want to finish up _your _charting before I leave for the night," she replied, not having to fake the irritation in her tone.

"Actually, according to the state of New Jersey half of everything I own now belongs to you as well," he pointed up, zipping up his leather jacket, "and that includes my charting."

"I knew I should have thought this whole marriage thing through," she retorted playfully, tossing her pen down on the table.

_So far so good,_ she coached herself as she watched her boss cross the room and stop in front of her_. Now here comes the hard part._

"Well, too late to escape now," he said, placing a hand under her elbow to draw her up to her feet.

Cameron gave a large mock sigh, trying not to show her nervousness at their close proximity. "I suppose you're right, which means I'll see you at home," she joked, closing the space between them even more as she raised her face to give him a goodbye kiss.

As lips brushed lips she scolded herself for being so worried about something so small as a little kiss. She was thinking that his lips were soft and she wouldn't mind doing this again in the future, when the future presented itself. She had barely begun to pull away when a large warm hand at the nape of her neck prevented her from doing so.

Alarm bells went off in her mind as his tongue ran along her bottom lip clearly asking for entrance. _What is he doing?_ she cried mentally as his hand settled on her lower back closed any space that was left between them. _This was not part of plan! _

However her arms, somehow unbenounced to her, made their way around his waist and her lips parted of their own volition, allowing him to deepen the kiss. _Screw the plan. Plans are overrated, _was her last coherent thought before stopped thinking all together and allowed herself to be lost in the man in front of her, forgetting completely about their audience. It wasn't until their need for air took precedence that they broke apart. Their eyes met in an intense gaze with emotions guarded and concealed in both party's eyes, but only barely so. It wasn't until they simultaneously felt the stares of their coworkers that they as one turned as one towards the other doctors.

"Didn't your mothers ever teach you it's not polite to stare?" House asked sneaking a hand inside Cameron's lab coat, making her eyes grow wide.

As his fingers inched around her waist, Cameron looked up at House's amused expression then back to Wilson, Chase and Forman, who looked disbelieving, shocked, and smug respectively.

"Perhaps these charts can wait until tomorrow after all," she said pulling away and quickly gathering her things up, she'd be damned before she let herself be left alone with the guys now, knowing that a simple 'it's none of your business' would never satisfy them now.

"What can I say," House shrugged, responding to a question no one asked, "she just can't resist my devilish good looks."

"And here I thought it was your irresistible charm," Cameron retorted sarcastically as she slipped her laptop into her bag.

"That too," he confirmed. "Well are you ready to go?"

Cameron nodded as she slipped into her jacket and slung her bag over her shoulder. "Night guys," she called as House replaced his hand on her lower back to guide her from the room.

She took strength from the warm pressure that propelled her towards the elevator bank, all too aware of the glances the nurses were giving them. They both remained silent as they stood next to each other in closer proximity than they ever would be in under normal circumstances while they waited for the elevator to come whisk them away to safer territory.

As soon as the elevator doors closed behind them, and they had some semblance of privacy, Cameron took a large step away from him, practically smacking his hand away from her as she went.

"What was that for?" she demanded with an anger that didn't ring true to either of them.

"What?" he replied easily. "I told you this would be fun."

"That kind of fun was not part of the plan," she retorted indignantly, both of them picking up on the fact that she didn't deny her enjoyment of the kiss.

"That kind of fun wasn't part of _your_ plan," he corrected. "_My_ plan, on the other hand, is much more enjoyable. You were the one who said if we were going to do this, we should do it right."

Cameron was about to respond to this, but the elevator stopped and let them out in front of the Clinic, and subsequently Cuddy's office. Apparently the dean had been keeping an eye out for them because they had only made it halfway to the front doors when she practically flew through the clinic doors.

"I need to talk to you two," Cuddy called, the shock apparently having worn off.

"I'm afraid we cant do that right now," House replied throwing his arm back around Cameron and leading her towards the exit. "I've got to get the little missus home, you know, newlyweds and all. The scratch marks on my back are starting to fade and-"

House didn't get to continue what would undoubtably be an incredibly crass remark, as a small manicured hand flew up to his face and covered his mouth. He wasn't surprised she had attempted to stop him considering where he was going with the comment, especially since it was barely past six and the hospital lobby still had a full staff at the nurses station as well as a number of employees, patients and family on their way in and out of the hospital. A hand clasped over his jaw wasn't going to stop him, but when he looked down at Cameron and saw the look in her eyes, he let her take hold of the situation.

"How about I come and see you first thing in the morning Dr. Cuddy," Cameron said still covering House's mouth with one hand "And you and I can go over everything together without this one," she said, referring to House with an inclination of her head, "being his usual grating self. I would agree to talk now, but I don't think he's going to be able to sit down long enough right now to do anything productive. After all, you know men, God gave them both a penis and a brain, but not enough blood supply to use them both at the same time. And I think we all know where is blood is rushing right now, but I'm sure I can remedy that before tomorrow."

House gave a helpless sort of shrug as if to say 'what can I say?' as Cameron released the cover on his mouth only to use that hand to grab his wrist and practically drag him from the hospital, leaving a positively stunned silent lobby in their wake. She didn't release him until she had reached the safety of her car.

"I cannot believe I told my boss…your boss…_our_ boss that we couldn't talk now because were about to go have sex. And in front of all the nurses too," she groaned, ignoring his gibes as she practically collapsed against the trunk of her car. "I think I'm possessed or something, these things keep coming out of my mouth and I'm powerless to stop them."

"_That_," House said teasingly, "was not part of the plan either. But it was definitely fun." He didn't know where these things were coming from either, but he wasn't about to stop her. In fact he would much rather encourage it. "I think you deserve an award for shocking Cuddy twice in one day, and bonus points for the nurses because although they are infinitely easier to shock, they cant keep their mouths shut insuring that they entire hospital will know about your little speech by tomorrow morning."

Cameron groaned again and covered her face with her hands. "How am I supposed to face Cuddy in the morning?"

"You know," he began, thinking back to what she said, "I like it when you get all assertive like that. So are you going to take me home and take care the whole, not enough blood going to my head problem now?"

At this Cameron gave a half hearted laugh as she rolled her eyes, his sexual intimations actually making her more comfortable as it was at least familiar playing ground.

"Good night House," she said signaling the end of the conversation as she took out her car keys and moved to unlock her door.

"Are you sure? I did say you deserve an award after all," he continued not making any indictions that he was kidding.

"I'll see you in the morning," she said shutting the door behind her and turning on the engine.

House stood there smirking and watching as she drove away, waiting until she was out of sight before laughing lightly and limping off towards his motorcycle.

* * *

A/N And there we have it… And while I know what the next chapter is going to be about, I haven't actually started writing it…. however I can be persuaded fairly easily to do so and I think you all know what to do…

**REVISED 12/16/10**


	8. Morning Sunshine

A/N Passes out from the review love What can I say I adore each and everyone of you! I'm so so sorry it took me so long to update but three midterms in one week kinda killed me, trust me I would much rather be writing this story….

* * *

Cameron left her apartment at the same time she did every morning, only her destination was different than normal.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Wilson left his home at the normal time he did everyday, even though he planned on making an extra stop on his way.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Cameron sighed to herself knowing that she was going to be late to work, but acknowledged that that was the point, that as much as it was against everything she believed in, it was part of the plan. Besides, she was going to be with her boss, it's not like she was going to get in trouble for not being on time. And Cuddy wouldn't say anything either, in fact she would probably be excited if she managed to get House into work before he usually came in on his own.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Wilson knew that his detour would make him late for work, he had made this particular pit stop enough times throughout the years to know just how much time it tacked onto his morning commute. But he was the boss, so it wasn't like he was going to write himself up for exessive tardiness. And Cuddy certainly wasn't going to complain if he actually managed to get his best friend into work earlier than usual.

xXxXxXxXxXx

As one part of their many pronged plan, House and Cameron had agreed that it would be a good idea if they actually arrived at work together. Perhaps not everyday, but at least once or twice a week to encourage the illusion that they were actually living together.

However, Cameron was loathe to arrive past nine as House usually did, and House made it quite clear that there was no way in hell that he was going to get to work at seven, or as he called it, the ass crack of dawn, like Cameron did. So it only made sense that they would compromise and get to work at eight, when they were actually scheduled to be at work. It would make sense that if they were living together that Cameron would drag him out of bed at a reasonable hour, but that he would also hold her up from being her usual punctual self.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Wilson knew that there was something more going on with House and Dr. Cameron than met the eye. One didn't become House's best friend without becoming very good at reading people. He had actually become adequate at reading the diagnostician's expressions over the years and he definitely knew the look in his eyes that he got when he was plotting. It was a look that he was always on alert for since usually meant no good for anyone.

This ability with House also meant that reading people with a normal capacity for showing emotion was simple in comparison, and Allison Cameron was no exception. Even though she was hiding it remarkably well (the years of working with House training her to do so) he could still tell that she was concealing something and he was almost positive that that thing was the fact that they weren't married. He was willing to bet money that when he showed up at House's condo to take him to work to force him into accepting a ride, like he had so many times in the past, he would find his friend alone in his home.

xXxXxXxXxXx

As she strummed her fingers on the steering wheel along to So Says I by The Shins that was coming from her stereo she paused to wonder why she was doing this. She had laid awake for some time the night before contemplating this question, but had failed to come up with any sort of satisfactory answer. That's not to say that she didn't come up with any answers at all, she had, just not any she liked.

Most of these ideas wound back around to the fact that maybe she had some feelings for House that she had failed to expunge from herself as fully as she had thought she had, or that she had failed to bury them deep enough. That perhaps on some level she really didn't need to be convinced to seize an opportunity that would mean so much one on one time with her boss, at his insistence no less. Then there was the real dangerous idea that perhaps the reason she had agreed so readily to play along was that there was something in House's eyes that told her that perhaps _he_ had a deeper reason for creating this dangerous game.

But no, these were all highly unsatisfactory answers and she refused to believe any of them. For now, she thought to herself as she parked not far from House's front door, she was simply going to go along for the ride and maybe have a little bit of fun while she was at it.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sitting at a red light, tapping his foot along to Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson, Wilson didn't feel the need to contemplate why he felt so compelled to get to the bottom of what was going on. House was his best friend, House was up to something, it could potentially affect other people, so therefore it was his job to do as much damage control as possible, including finding out what exactly, was going on.

He knew, as he parked across the street of House's condo, that it couldn't be considered healthy for him to feel this much responsibility for the actions of another man, but someone had to be responsible.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Cameron walked up to the front door and knocked, then waited patiently until it was cracked open by…

xXxXxXxXxXx

Wilson strode up to House's front door giving it three sharp raps before leaning against the door jam as he waited impatiently, knowing that it would probably take a good ten minutes for House to drag his ass out of bed to come open the door. So it surprised when the door was quickly opened by…

"Dr. Cameron?"

xXxXxXxXxXx

Cameron was standing at the front door a good ten minutes in which she had started reading the paper that was sitting on his stoop, before House finally came to the door to let her in, his heavily lidded eyes and the sweat pants and t-shirt he obviously slept in, making it clear he was just out of bed.

"Morning sunshine," she teased at the scowl on his face.

He growled unintelligibly in response, not saying a word as he turned walked away back to his bedroom, presumably to get ready for work. Cameron chuckled lightly to herself as she stepped into his home and closed the door behind her. She wasn't terribly surprised to discover that House was not a morning person. She made her way deeper into the condo, taking in her surroundings curiously since she had always been preoccupied with House for various reasons on all her previous trips to his home, never really having the chance to absorb unattended. It was messy, but not dirty and as she wandered around she had to hold back the desire to pick up and organize the piles of clutter he had scattered around the room.

Hearing a shower turn on, she realized she had some time and kicked off her heels, shrugged off her jacket and dropped her bag on the couch. She wandered into the kitchen and poked around until she found the makings for coffee. Waiting for the water to boil, she ambled back into the living room, and turned the TV on to the morning news for background noise while she continued to read the paper.

She heard the water in the bathroom turn off just as the timer on the coffee maker dinged so she prepared a cup for House as well as herself, figuring he would be out shortly for it. With the ease of year of experience she stirred the two cups simultaneously, one with milk but no sugar for her, and the other with two and a half sugars but no milk for House, just the way she knew he liked it. Placing the used spoons in the sink and giving them a quick rinse she took her cup and padded barefoot back towards the living room to continue reading the paper. She didn't even have time to sit down when there were several sharp knocks on the door. Taking her coffee with her, she went to go see who could possibly be brave enough to knock on House's door, let alone at this time of the day.

"Dr. Cameron?" Wilson said incredulously when she opened the door.

"Dr. Wilson?" Cameron responded in kind, just as confused to see him standing there as he was to see her.

"What are you doing here?" they both asked at the same time.

However neither of them had the opportunity to answer since House then came limping out of the bedroom still wet from his shower, clad only in a pair of jeans.

"I will do highly inappropriate and pleasurable things to you right now if that is your coffee I'm smelling," House announced, not realizing they had company as he passed through the living room and into the kitchen without glancing at either of them.

"There is a cup waiting for you on the counter," she called over her shoulder, not taking her eyes off the oncologist.

Wilson looked over Cameron's shoulder and took in the room with a critical eye. He saw Cameron's shoes, jacket and bag all ready to go for the day and the paper that looked half read tossed onto the coffee table, even though he knew that House didn't usually read it until he got home from work. He also noticed the TV was on, not something that would usually catch his attention, but what was playing on the TV was. House was more partial to The Fairly Odd Parents in the morning, not current events. He then glanced over his shoulder and saw that her car was parked on the street, something he had not noticed on his way to the door.

Wilson ran a flustered hand through his hair, this morning was not turning out the way he had expected it to. It wasn't boding well for his theory and he was suddenly feeling foolish for coming here. This was obviously not the way to figure out what was going on.

"This is so much better than having to wait until I get to the office," House exclaimed as he came back into the living room cradling the mug in two hands as if it was a precious artifact.

He started slightly when he looked up and saw his best friend and his 'wife' in some sort of strange stare off as in the doorway. Always one to seize an opportune moment he quickly saw how he could take advantage of the situation.

Sliding up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist. "If you do this every morning, I might just be convinced to keep you," he murmured, placing a kiss on the curve between her shoulder and neck.

Cameron closed her eyes slightly at his lips grazed the sensitive skin and hoped that he didn't feel the slight shiver she gave at his contact, even thought she didn't know how he could miss it. Of course she told herself that it was a reaction to the fact that he had just pressed his damp naked torso against her thin silk blouse while she was standing in a drafty doorway, and not because it was _his _naked torso that was pressed against her back.

"So what do we owe the honor of your presence this morning Jimmy?" House asked after dragging his lips away from her pale neck.

"Come in," Cameron offered, suddenly remembering herself and realizing that she was making House's best friend stand outside.

"Oh no, I should be going to work. I was just going to see if you wanted a ride to work," he addressed House who still had his arms wrapped around Cameron, "but I see you don't need one….so I will just see you later today I suppose," he said turning away to walk to his car, the confusion clear in his posture.

House disengaged from Cameron the moment the door latched shut, taking a good sized step back. She turned to look at him as he took a long drag of his coffee as he looked around the room.

"I see you had no issue getting comfortable," he said absently referring to the TV and his paper. "Good thing too, I wasn't expecting Jimmy this morning. We should have a contingent plan in case that happens again."

They were both silent for a moment as they considered this, until House spoke again.

"Well we can think about it and bring our proposals to lunch today. Give us something to discuss during the commercials. But now I'm going to go finish getting ready to go to work," he said already moving towards his room. "After all we have an appointment with the she-devil who wants to figure out what she wants to do with having two Dr. Houses."

"I told you yesterday, I'm keeping my name," she called to his back as he walked away.

"What? I cant hear you," he yelled just before the door slammed shut leaving Cameron to shake her head with a wry smile as she returned to the paper.

* * *

A/N Well I have some good news and bad news… Good news is next week is my spring break so lots of time to write, bad news is I don't know how much online time I'm going to have to post so updates might be minimal while I'm home….But let me know that your thinking about me while I'm gone and let me know what you think of this chapter!

**Revised 12/17/10**


	9. Lunch Time

A/N So I just went back and reread all the previous chapters and cringed at all the typos and missing words and misused comas so I wanted to apologize for that… For my other fics in other fandoms I usually send my chapters through two different betas as well as extensive self editing, but as a result I only post every couple weeks as opposed to the every couple days that I try to post this fic which I just give a once over when I'm done writing it…so I'm afraid my usual quality suffers a bit for speed, so please forgive me… Once again I need to give a big thank you to Corrin for her invaluable advice, input, suggestions, and knowledge of all things General Hospital….

* * *

Cameron dropped off the file of the last patient she had seen and glanced at her watch, happy to note that her stint in the clinic was up for the day. She informed the nurse on duty that she was checking out and made her way towards the cafeteria. Looking down at her watch again she saw that she would have just enough time to grab lunch for herself and House and make it back up to his office for them to watch General Hospital.

In the week and a half they had been back from Vegas, they had worked out a routine that seemed to disturb their coworkers thoroughly, as well as work out nicely for them. They had toned down the act when they had had a patient at the end of the prior week, both of them knowing where their priorities where, but even then, they had still managed to take the hour General Hospital was on to sit and eat lunch together each day.

It had been incredibly awkward at first, having to spend so much alone time with her boss on a daily basis, neither of them really knowing what to say as they sat next to each other on his couch eating their lunches in silence with all the blinds closed and the doors locked. Knowing that meanwhile their co-workers and friends were just outside theorizing on what was happening inside the shielded walls of the diagnostician's office. She had anticipated her own uneasiness at the situation, but it was House's discomfiture that really surprised her.

But after a couple of days acting like kids at their first co-ed dance they loosened up and actually started enjoying themselves. And now, while she was loath to admit it, even to herself, it was quickly becoming her favorite part of her day. It was refreshing to have an hour in the middle of her work day where she could turn off her brain for a few minutes and relax. It also didn't help that the outrageous plotlines were both absorbing and addicting, she now knew why House hated to miss it.

Standing in line holding lunch for two, she was well aware of the whispered conversations taking place around her. Even after two weeks, her seemingly sudden marriage was still the hot topic on the hospital grapevine.

"Is that her?" she heard a nurse that she remembered only seeing once or twice in the clinic say from her position behind her in line.

"Yeah, that's Dr. Cameron," one of the older nurses confirmed.

"But she seems so… not insane," the first nurse replied.

Cameron didn't even attempt to hide a smirk, while this nurse was obviously new, she had, it seemed, been around long enough to have a run in with the 'terrifying' Doctor House.

"I know," the other woman agreed, "she is one of the nicest doctors on staff. No one can understand how she puts up with working with him. But to marry him? She must know something the rest of us don't."

"I heard it was the other way around," the newer nurse said conspiratorially.

"What do you mean?" the second nurse interjected.

"I heard from one of the nurses in the ICU," she whispered just loud enough that Cameron was able to hear if she stained her ears, "that he knows something about her that could ruin her career and he blackmailed her into a marriage."

"Really? Because I heard that-"

"That will be $12.65," the young man at the cash register announced, interrupting her eavesdropping so that Cameron never got to hear what the second nurse heard.

The immunologist quickly paid and left the cafeteria trying not to burst out laughing when she saw the gossiping nurses quickly look away when she glanced over at them. Making a mental note to tell House the newest rumor she had just overheard, she made her way to the elevator bank that would drop her off closest to her department. She pressed the button impatiently knowing she only had a couple more minutes before the show started.

Stepping off the elevator she made a bee line for the conference room, knowing House would have already locked the exterior door to his office as he always did during their General Hospital hour to avoid interruptions. On her way through the conference room, she grabbed a bottle of water off her desk with one hand, while balancing the cartons of food and a bag of chips and a bag of pretzels in the other.

She could sense her colleagues eyes on her as she did this and chuckled silently. It seemed that it was little things like this that got them the most. The fact that they had a routine or that they would actually do little things for each other like any other couple would. Chase nearly poked eye out with his pen on accident earlier that morning when House had actually poured her a cup of coffee when they arrived.

"Don't offer to help or anything," she said sarcastically to the two of them as she tucked the bottle under her arm so that she could open the door to the office with the other. Chase started to move to open the door for her, but she quickly shot him down. "I got it," she told him as she disappeared into the adjacent room.

"There you are," House said as she breezed into the office without knocking, then locking the door behind her. "I was about to page you."

"Did it start, did I miss anything?" Cameron asked, handing him his lunch and flopping unceremoniously on the couch next to where he was already sitting.

"No, you're good," he reassured her, popping the lid off his sandwich container. "Cameron," he whined like a six year old and he peaked under the top slice of bread.

"What?" she asked, putting the oil and vinegar dressing on her chef salad.

"They put pickles on it," he moaned, holding the sandwich out to her.

"Sorry," she said rolling her eyes as she plucked the offending topping off and ate them herself. "I told the lady not to."

"Was it the unibrow woman?" House asked knowingly.

"Yeah, it was," Cameron laughed. "How did you know?"

"She must of known it was for me," he said with an exaggerated sigh. "She has it out for me."

"Well, what did you do to her?"

"What makes you think I did something to her?"

Cameron gave him a look that told him exactly what she thought about that.

"Alright," he conceded, "I might have made a couple comments in reference to the caterpillar growing between her eyes, perhaps a referral of electrolysis, but I had the best of intentions. And is that really any reason to take it out on my Rueben?"

Cameron was going to retort, but was shushed when the soap began so she simply rolled her eyes again and sat back to watch.

"Wait," Cameron said twenty minutes into the show, gesturing at the TV with a fork impaled cherry tomato, "I thought that Sonny was Michael's birth father."

"No," House replied not taking his eyes off the screen, "Sonny blackmailed A.J. into signing away his paternal rights"

"Ohh, that right," she responded as she popped the tomato into her mouth, "wasn't that after A.J. burned down one of Sonny's warehouses?"

House actually turned away from the screen so look at her curiously. "How the hell did you know that?"

"I read it on she explained drawing an incredulous snort from the man next to her. "What?" she asked turning her head to meet his gaze.

"You would," he said simply.

"I would what?" she continued to press.

"Only you, Allison Cameron, would do research," he told her laughingly shaking his head.

"Hey," Cameron replied taking the pillow she was sitting against and smacking him on the arm with it, "you were the one who told me to figure it out myself. Don't blame me for wanting to know what was going on."

House snatched the pillow from her so he could whack her in the face with it, "And besides, everyone knows that ghhappenings2 is the site with the best General Hospital info."

The watched the rest of the show in mostly a companionable silence with one of them speaking up occasionally to make a comment about a storyline or faulty medical reasoning. It was only when Cameron was cleaning up after their lunch, gathering up the trash to throw away that she remembered what she had to tell him.

"Oh!" Cameron said dropping the plastic containers in the trash. "I forgot to tell you, I talked to a friend of mine that's a lawyer this morning and I talked to him about getting our annulment."

"Oh yeah?" House asked with feigned nonchalance. "So how long before I get to be rid of you?"

In honesty she was surprised by this announcement. He knew this had to be done, but he hadn't really given a second thought to it since they decided to get one day after their accidental marriage. He was startled that she had taken the initiative to get the process started and then rebuked himself for being surprised. He knew Cameron well enough to know that of course she would be on top of something like this. At least, he figured as optimistically as he ever got, he wasn't going to have to deal with lawyers, cause there nothing he hated more that dealing with lawyers. And its not like he didn't want to get this whole mistake over and done with as soon as possible.

"Looks like we're stuck with each other for a little while yet," she joked, drawing him out of his thoughts, "unfortunately, its not going to be quite as fast as we were hoping. He told me it can take anywhere from three to six months for an annulment to be finalized. But since we were both plastered when we got married and don't even remember it and since neither of us are contesting the annulment, it should hopefully be closer to three months than six. And all I can say is that it's a good thing neither of us are looking to get remarried by the catholic church," she added, "to receive an annulment through the church can sometimes take up to two years."

"Well thank god we're both heathens," House replied.

Cameron chuckled at the irony of his statement as she threw a stick of gum at his chest as she did everyday after lunch. He had made a comment the first time about her giving nature, but she had quickly informed him it was a completely selfish act on her part. She went on to explain that she always found the smell of sauerkraut repulsive, but never had any authority to say anything about it in the past. However, now that she was required to make out with him on a regular basis, she had every right to enforce regular gum chewing.

He laid back on the couch sighing dramatically as he popped the stick of wintergreen gum into his mouth. "Well I suppose I shall just have to put up with you for as long as I must and hope the extra time with you wont do to much damage to my reputation. Although, it will most indubitably improve yours dramatically."

"That's not what I heard today in the cafeteria this afternoon," she laughed.

"Well then, what's the word on the street?"

"Apparently some of the nurses in the ICU think you have some career ending blackmail on me and coerced me into this marriage so you would keep my deep dark secret," she relayed with another laugh.

"But they didn't say what the blackmail was?" he asked, his interest suddenly piqued.

"No," she replied, "just that bad enough to ruin me."

"I hate when my rumors bland out on me," House said standing and walking towards Cameron who was already unlocking the door so they could join the other duckies in the conference room. "When I started it I said that you were a candy striper during your undergraduate years."

"Well that's not bad," she said slowly, waiting for the catch.

"And that you used the outfit while you stripped, to pay for said undergrad years."

Cameron's jaw dropped as she looked at him in shock, "House! Why would you start a rumor like that?"

"Because I was going to say that you were a lesbian and in exchange for 6 months of sex on demand, I would provide you and your life partner with a baby...but I rethought that one."

"Why?" she asked in a tone that she didn't really want to know.

"That rumor would just make just me sound desperate," he said giving her his best 'duh' face.

Cameron rolled her eyes as shook her head in disbelief.

"You act like you're surprised I would say something like that. I would think you would know me better than that," he said wiping away an imaginary tear, "after all you are the one that married me. I knew you just married me for my body."

"Don't you have clinic hours to do?" she asked rolling her eyes for what felt like the twentieth time that day.

"I do," he said wrinkling his nose in distaste. "How about you walk me down and we do something completely work inappropriate in front of Cuddy's office."

Cameron rolled her eyes once more, sure they were going to stick one day, but allowed him to drape his free arm around her shoulders and lead her into the hall.

"And then we can find an empty exam room and a candy stripper uniform and you can show me your old act."

* * *

A/N And there we have it… the longest chapter so far! sorry it took me a little longer to get this up, but like I said before its hard for me to get online while at home….I've actually commandeered my brothers internet to post this chapter, so I should probably cut this short before he notices… let me know what you thought!!! 


	10. Round One

A/N Sorry again it took me to long to get this up, but I'm back at school with unlimited internet access so hopefully we'll go back to our normal updating schedule… Thank you again everyone who continues to support this story…. It means the world to me…

* * *

"I come bearing gifts of bagels," Cameron announced cheerfully as she extended her offering in its brown paper bag as House opened his front door to her that morning.

House's usual grunt of a greeting sounded suspiciously like 'toast mine,' as he turned to limp back to his bedroom to shower and get ready for the day, leaving Cameron to let herself in and close the door behind her. Three weeks into their game, she now moved around his apartment with relative ease. She slipped off her pumps, shrugged off her blazer and dropped off her bag in the living room before moving into the kitchen to get their breakfasts ready.

She began by putting a filter and grounds into the coffee maker and hitting the start button, then reached into the drawer behind her grabbing a knife to cut the two bagels in half, popping them in the toaster. While she waited, she flipped through a copy of US weekly that House had most likely stolen from the clinic. She was just finishing up reading about the twelfth kid that Angelina was adopting when the toaster popped at the same time she heard the water turn off in the bathroom.

"Butter or cream cheese?" she called towards the back of the condo as she snatched the hot bagels out of the toaster and dropped them onto plates.

"What?" he called back opening his bedroom door a few inches to poke his head out.

"Do you prefer butter or cream cheese on your bagel?" she asked again.

"Cream cheese," he called back starting to close the door before pausing and sticking his head out again. "But only if it hasn't become penicillin."

Cameron laughed and looked in the fridge, finding a tub of cream cheese in the very back. She lifted the plastic lid just enough to confirm that it was well on its way to becoming a biohazard before throwing it into the trash bin behind her, now grateful that she had thought to grab a few extra packets of cream cheeses from the bagel place. She reached back into the refrigerator to grab the carton vanilla soy milk that she preferred in her coffee, before closing the fridge door with a bump of her hip.

House joined her in the kitchen as she finished with the bagels and the coffee maker beeped announcing its completion. He accepted the bagel she handed him and watched her move across the kitchen to get them mugs for their coffee. He only watched her struggle to get them off the top shelf of the cabinet for a moment before he took pity on her and got them down for her.

"Whedioogeoort?" he asked through a mouthful of bagel.

"I believe that it's customary to chew, swallow, then speak," she told him as she grabbed the sugar from its more accessible shelf in the pantry.

"I said, when did you get so short?" he repeated once he finished his bite, moving to stand right next to her at the counter to illustrate the height difference.

Cameron gave him a strange look, "I'm 5'4, I'm not that short. And I've pretty much been this height since my sophomore year of high school House."

"No," he insisted, reaching around her to grab the soy milk that had suddenly materialized in his fridge the week before, "I'm fairly sure that you've shrunk. You are incredibly short and usually you're just not tall."

Cameron laughed as she stirred sugar into the other mug of coffee, "You're just used to the four inch heels I wear every day at work."

"Now I'm no podiatrist, but that cannot be healthy," he said looking down at her stockinged feet.

"No probably not," she agreed, "and I'm sure OSHA would have something to say about it too, but I'm used to it and as you said, without them, I'm incredibly short. And for some reason people take me more seriously when I'm taller."

"And you need all the help you can get in that department," he snarked as they exchanged mugs.

"We need to fight," Cameron announced after taking a sip of the coffee he had just handed her.

House looked at her for a moment, not following her train of thought. "Is it because I pointed out that you're vertically challenged, because the crack I made about no one taking you seriously, or because I put too much of that ridiculous soy crap in your coffee?"

"No," she laughed lightly. "Chase said something a couple days ago about being surprised we haven't killed each other yet and that got me thinking. We're getting along too well, it's not believable, we need to get in a fight at work. Although frankly, I'm surprised we haven't yet anyways, I don't think we've ever gone this long without getting pissed at each other for something."

"Say what you mean," he replied as taking a long sip of the coffee she had prepared.

"What?"

"You meant that _you've_ never gone this long without getting pissed off at _me_," he clarified.

"No, what I meant, is that _you _have never gone this long without doing something to purposely piss _me_ off," she corrected with a grin.

"Touché," he conceded with a return of her grin, "but it's only because this time, you're my partner in crime. As long as you're actively helping me annoy and irritate other people, you're safe from my diabolical plans."

"I'll have to keep that in mind," she replied as she finished off her bagel. "If you cant beat the devil, stay in hell and enjoy the tan."

He snorted mentally at her analogy, making a point to file it away in a corner of his brain for later. "But you're right," he agreed, reaching for the coffee pot going back to the original purpose of the conversation. "So I guess I should get in an extra cup in now, since I wont be getting any more coffee at work."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Cameron arrived at the hospital first and stopped to speak to the nurses in the lobby making sure that she was in clear view of Cuddy's office. She knew that House would only be a few minutes behind her since even though he gave her a ten minute head start, he could make the trip to the hospital much quicker since he could weave in and out of traffic on his bike. So it wasn't long before she stiffened consciously, hearing his specific gait coming up from behind her.

"Its not very nice to your crippled husband or the environment to leave him at home when you were supposed to car pool and save on precious fossil fuels," he said coldly leaning against the counter next to her, purposely loud enough for all the nurses to hear.

"Well then it's a good thing you rode the bike instead of driving the 'vett, much more fuel efficient," she retorted just as coolly as she turned to walked away.

"Hey," he called grabbing her upper arm to halt her escape, "you don't get to just keep walking away before we're finished, just because you don't want to have a conversation."

"Oh so you're the only one who is allowed to walk away?" she practically growled at him.

"Yes," he shot back, his eyes narrowing.

"Well, I guess that's why you're so good at it," he returned. "You have plenty of practice."

House couldn't help but feel his ire rise in his chest. This may be a fake fight but she sure looked royally ticked off for real, and he had enough experience to know what that looked liked. She was also bringing up the very real point of his tendency to avoid or divert their conversations when things became to emotionally heavy. He was about to respond with a comment that actually would piss her off for real, but was luckily interrupted.

"House!" Cuddy called walking into the lobby.

"WHAT?" they both yelled stunning Cuddy into freezing mid-step, not that they saw as they were both too busy staring down each other.

"See you already respond to my last name, why don't you just take it like a normal woman?!" House asked angrily.

They actually hadn't decided what it was they were fighting about, but this lead in seemed like as good of one as any. After all Cameron had already made several public statements about her choice in keeping her maiden name and it would give them something to work with instead of ranting ambiguously.

"Because I told you I wanted to keep my maiden name," she retorted back, picking up on his train of thought. "And what do you mean by a 'normal woman?' Should I just go home and do your laundry and make a pot roast for you to come home to?"

"Okay lets do that," he replied, "and you can wear an apron and pearls while you do it."

At this point Cuddy had recovered from the shock of actually being yelled at and moved to intervene as she waved a file in between the two feuding doctors.

"You have a patient," she announced slapping the file against House's chest.

Cuddy was prepared to go into her hard sell on why he should take this patient and then lecture both of them on not bringing their personal lives into the hospital and reminding them that if it affected their work she would have to take action. But she never got the chance because House simply gave her a disdainful look, took the file, and quickly made his way to the elevator.

"Well are you coming?!" he sniped to Cameron, holding the door open with his cane.

"I'll take the stairs!" she snapped back.

"Are you alright Dr. Cameron?" Cuddy asked gently.

"I'm fine," the immunologist replied, plastering a fake smile across her lips. "Well I should go get to work, we do have a patient after all."

Cuddy watched as Cameron turned and walked away, indeed taking the stairs like she said she would. She waiting until the other doctor was out of sight before turning herself and making her way into her office. She knew that Cameron had gone toe to toe with her boss in the past, but she had never seen the younger woman loose it with House quite so publicly before. Of course usually they argued over work related topics and not matters pertaining to their marriage.

Marriage, now that was a word she had never expected to use in conjunction with her grumpy head Diagnostician. Dr. House and Dr. Cameron were married… it was still an concept that the Dean was having trouble wrapping her mind around. Sometimes she still got the feeling that it was all some kind of game and at some point they were going to turn to her and say 'just kidding!' and they could all go back to the way life used to be.

Up until now it seemed to be working well for them, almost too well, she acknowledged as she sat behind her desk. So, she supposed, it would make sense that when they finally did fight, they would do it in a big way. After all House should have a '**contents under pressure' **sticker on his ass, the longer he held in his bastard tendencies, the bigger the explosion would be when something did set him off. And she could only imagine what it must be like for poor Cameron to have to deal with him practically 24 hours a day. The woman was practically a saint for putting up with him, she should be allowed to loose her cool once in a while. And so she decided not to interfere with the disputing doctors, choosing instead to let them work it out on their own and hope they didn't make any messes that would be too difficult to clean up.

* * *

A/N Alright everyone, this is actually only the first half of what was supposed to be one chapter but it was getting long so I split it up… the second half appropriately titled Round Two should be up shortly as soon as I finish it up and revise it…I might be able to get it done by the end of the night if properly motivated, so let me know if you want it! 


	11. Round Two

A/N GAH! I'm terrible… I practically promise a same day update and I don't deliver… I'm sorry, forgive me?… But the chapter got away from me as I got another idea and it grew… so instead of holding onto this any longer I split it again so you could at least read this while I kept working on it…. So I'll stop rambling and let you read Round Two ::ding ding ding::

* * *

"Chase, Forman, House," Cameron greeted the three men tersely in turn as she entered the conference room. 

"Uh oh, she used my last name, I think I'm in trouble," House said looking at his two male fellows, bringing his fingertips up to his mouth in a show of mock fear, before turning back to the woman standing near the door. "Well thank you for deciding to finally join us _dear_," House greeted with an extra sarcastic emphasis on the endearment.

"Don't we have a patient we should be diagnosing, _darling_?" Cameron replied in the same tone, as she pointedly began making a single cup of tea, instead of the usual pot of coffee.

Chase and Forman quickly exchanged worried glances. While they were both curious enough to want to watch their boss and coworker battle it out, neither of them really wanted to be caught in the cross fire so they both made the wise choice to stay quiet and look unassuming.

"Seventeen year old female, originally admitted for pneumonia, but didn't respond to antibiotics, now in addition to her respiratory symptoms, she is presenting with fever, diarrhea, vomiting, abdominal pain, chest pain, and bleeding from the nose and gums," he listed as he wrote the symptoms on the board, even able to make the marker squeak angrily against the white board.

"Could be Crohn's disease," Chase suggested tentatively. "And the respiratory problems are a secondary infection."

"And you could try harder to not be a complete waste of oxygen," House snapped back, his bite even sharper than usual. "Dr. _Cameron_," he interjected, her name rolling off his tongue with a purposeful spite, "could you enlighten our friend from the other side of the equator on why the very idea of entertaining the notion that out patient could have Crohn's disease is utterly ridiculous."

Cameron didn't speak for a moment as she was to busy sending a glare at her boss that would have most men running in fear of being castrated. Seeing this, Foreman was going to interfere and answer the question for her until a cane was slammed down on the table in front of him. Forman jumped and hit his knee on the table leg, Chase flung his pen across the room in surprise and Cameron… well Cameron just glared harder.

"No Forman," House ordered, anticipating the Neurologists actions, "after all Dr. Cameron is a strong, independent, modern woman. She doesn't need anything from the men in her life, she can answer this question all by her big girl self."

His rantings and ravings gave her enough time to formulate an answer which she gave with actual annoyance. After all, just because they were pretending to fight didn't mean he had to make Chase want to pee his pants and cry. Not to mention the fact that he was just as good as pretending to be infuriating as he was at actually doing it.

"It cant be Crohn's because she doesn't have photophobia, a rash, or clubbing, also her fever wouldn't be this high and it doesn't explain the bleeding nose and gums," she said in clipped tones, never taking her eyes off her boss. "Taking in these symptoms and assuming the gastrointestinal and respiratory problems are related it looks more like avian influenza," she suggested, her ire lessening slightly as she actually did her job. "Although how a teenager from New Jersey gets the bird flu is beyond me."

House blinked twice, but other than that did not betray any emotions at her diagnosis, it hadn't even occurred to him, but it fit every symptom perfectly. And he was always up for a disease where there only a few hundred proven cases which all took place on the other side of the world.

"Well Dr. Cameron," he said once more emphasizing her name, "perhaps instead of sitting around here wondering where she might of picked it up you could go take a history and see if she has been to Asia lately."

"Fine," she practically growled as House poured a Vicodin into his hand prepared to swallow it dry. "And for gods sake, would you please wash that down with something! One of these days its going to get stuck in your throat and I'm not about to give you the Heimlich when it happens," she shouted slamming her palms against the table, before standing and storming out of the conference room to go get a history.

Cameron was glad that she had an excuse to flee the conference room so that the boys couldn't see the perplexed look that took residence across her own face as she made her way to their patients room. She honestly didn't know where that last comment had come from. True she did always cringe a little inside whenever he dry swallowed one of those large pills, but it had never been something she had felt the need to harp about. Perhaps, she realized, it was because she had never been in the position to harp about it. As his subordinate that level of worrying would have been inappropriate, but as his 'wife' she was supposed to have that kind of intimate concern for her 'husband.' She was just playing the part, she told herself, that's all it was.

Back in the conference room three stunned men watched the lone female of their department storm away, her heels clicking angrily down the hall.

"Don't you two have some kind of doctory type tests to be running?" House demanded of his other two fellows as he was the first one to recover.

"Which ones?" Chase made the mistake of asking.

"Are you new?!" House asked disgustedly. "Ask Forman I'm sure he can help you figure it out."

Having yet to fall victim of House's wrath, and knowing it would only be a matter of time if he stayed in the older mans general vicinity, Forman quickly pushed his chair back from the table so he could go perform all the standard tests they did when they got a new patient, as well as those more specific to finding out if the patient indeed had the bird flu. Chase, always one for self preservation, quickly followed.

House watched as they too escaped the conference room, all the while absently rolling the white pill between his finger tips. Becoming aware if what he was doing, he looked at the pill in disdain, then popped it in his mouth. He let it roll around his tongue for a moment, before losing an internal battle he wasn't even aware he was fighting, and grabbed Cameron's half drunk, abandoned cup of tea to wash it down. Deciding the apple cinnamon concoction wasn't completely disgusting, and realizing while it wasn't coffee, it was still caffeinated, he drained the dredges and placed the mug in the sink.

Knowing it would be a couple hours before the ducklings came back with anything conclusive, he decided to go waste some time in the clinic. Much to Cuddy's surprise, he saw patients at an almost rapid fire pace and somehow managed not to piss any of them off enough where they might threaten legal action. She was beginning to think that she should bribe Cameron into getting in fights with House more often.

What Cuddy had fairly accurately guessed, was that House was seeing so many patients because he hoped that if he could keep busy enough, it would keep his mind off of the one and only Allison Cameron, and that the reason he wasn't pissing more people off was because he was too distracted to snark properly as he was failing miserably at his first purpose and couldn't stop thinking about his immunologist.

House was irritated, which just made him more irritated for being irritated in the first place. He knew it was a staged fight of which he picked the topic, but telling himself that didn't seem to help obscure the detail that it had gotten under his skin. For some reason the fact that Cameron had refused to become Mrs. House in their fake marriage bothered him. He told himself it was because it would make their ruse even more believable, just like he told himself that he only called her Mrs. House to annoy her, not because he actually liked the sound of it.

"You have a pulled muscle, go to the grocery store, get some icyhot and stop bothering me," House exclaimed, finally loosing the small resemblance of patience that he had actually had that morning as he stormed out of the examining room, more frustrated with himself than the actual patient… and that was saying something.

Glancing at the clock and seeing that he had actually completed his hours for once, he quickly signed out and made his way upstairs to his office with all his nice and friendly distractions. Peering into the conference room on his way into his office, he noticed an absence of goons and angry wives, so he figured they were all still off doing what he paid them for. Either that or Cameron was avoiding him and Chase and Forman were avoiding both him and Cameron. He didn't really care which.

Sinking down into his chair, he propped his feet up on his desk, not bothering to move the pile of mail that Cameron did not sort through that morning. He then pulled out his PSP out of his desk drawer and spent the next forty minutes playing "Call of Duty: Roads to Victory" until it was time for General Hospital.

When lunch time finally rolled around, a part of him wondered if Cameron was going to come join him like she always did, despite the fact that they were supposed to be fighting and the fact that she actually did seem pissed off the last time he saw her. He waited until five after before conceding that she wasn't going to show and moving from behind his desk to his couch where he flipped on the TV, it already on the correct channel.

It only took ten minutes to figure out that he just couldn't concentrate on the mystery of who really killed Rick Webber. Usually, he wasn't overtly interested in the college set on GH, but Lulu was Luke and Laura's daughter so it made her an exception among the bevy of insipid blondes that seemed to populate PCU. Of course the reason he couldn't focus on his soap wasn't because he didn't have Cameron to comment on it with, no it was simply because he was hungry since Cameron hadn't brought him lunch like he had become accustomed too.

Making a quick decision, he flipped off the TV and escaped from his office which suddenly felt stifling and out onto his balcony, hopping quickly over the divider and into the adjoining office without knocking.

"Buy me lunch." It was a statement not a question.

"Dr. Cameron still mad at you?" Wilson asked knowingly, looking up from the chart he was reviewing.

"Why would Allison be mad at me?" House asked feigning ignorance.

"Because you aren't eating lunch with her, and you haven't hit me up for lunch once in the three weeks since you have been back from the conference," he replied. "In fact, I haven't seen much of you at all since you've been back from Vegas."

It was true, Wilson hadn't seen much of his best friend since his alleged marriage a little over three weeks ago. House had sequestered his immunologist and himself away in his office everyday at lunch and they hadn't hung out at all after work at his condo like they usually did a couple times a week. And it wasn't for lack of trying on his part.

Wilson had shown up on House's doorstep twice that first week. The first time, House had only opened the door enough so that he could poke his head out too tell Wilson that he was interrupting 'naked Wednesday' and that he would have to come back at a later date. The next time he tried to go over, House didn't even open the door to him as he called through the locked door that he was interrupting 'naked Saturday.' When Wilson asked when 'naked Saturday' would be over, House simply quipped, at midnight, but then 'sex Sunday' starts, so don't come back then either.

The oncologist would have kept trying, as he had yet to actually see Cameron on these trips except for that first morning, but some trouble in his own home life, with his own wife, in conjunction with two terminal patients entering their final stages had kept him from prying any further into his friend's personal life.

"I know," House responded, bringing Wilson back to the present conversation. "So maybe I just miss spending time with my bestest of best buddies Jimmy."

"Or it could have something to do with the fact that two of your fellows, the two with the Y chromosome, paying me a visit this morning wondering if I had any idea why their department had suddenly become a battle field of World War Three," Wilson revealed, leaning back in his chair and clasping his hands behind his head.

"It could," House shrugged indifferently.

"So what's going on?"

"Ah, now for that, you're going to have to buy me lunch."

Wilson gave an obligatory sigh and eye roll, but inwardly he was glad. While he had indeed missed his acerbic friend, this would also give him a legitimate excuse to pry and see if he could get to the bottom of this whole 'marriage' thing. He grabbed his wallet out of his desk drawer and left his office for the cafeteria, knowing House would follow.

* * *

A/N Once again thanks and gratitude is extended to Corrin for the General Hospital info… I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and like I said, I had to split this chapter again so Round Three is on its way and since I have my last midterm today I should hopefully have time to write tonight if I don't pass out from exhaustion, so let me know what you all thought! 


	12. Round Three

A/N I know its been forever since I've updated but I didn't really want to post while the site was being all screwy…. But now that things seem to be back to normal here is chapter 12, the longest one so far so hopefully that will help compensate for the delay….

* * *

"So, what did you do?" Wilson asked as he took a bite of his tuna salad sandwich, not bothering to dance around the subject, once they were seated in the cafeteria.

"Why so quick to assume that I'm the one that did something wrong?" House returned.

"Because I've met you," Wilson quipped.

"Yeah well," House mumbled though a bite of his Reuben. "Maybe she is the one that is being stubborn, irrational and generally insensitive of other people's feelings."

"Yeah right," Wilson shot back, laughing aloud at the very idea of it, at least until he saw the look on the other man's face. "Wait… you're being serious aren't you?"

"Did all three Mrs. Wilsons become Mrs. Wilson?" House asked, with seemingly sincere curiosity.

Wilson was thrown for a moment by what he thought was an unexpected shift in topic. "Are you asking if they all took my last name?"

House shrugged noncommittally.

"Yeah of course they did. Well my second wife still used her maiden name at work, since she worked with little kids at the day care center and she didn't want to confuse them. Why do you -" Wilson paused as it all clicked together. "So Cameron wants to stay a Cameron huh?"

He only grumbled incoherently as a response and took another too large bite of his sandwich.

"Did she take her first husbands name?" Wilson asked curiously.

House shook his head as he swallowed. "No, but what would have been the point in that? She knew he was just going to kick a couple months into it, she would have had to change her name right back. But I don't have an expiration date, at least not one that is sooner than half the food in my fridge!"

"Please tell me you did not use that as part of your argument to actually convince her to change her name," he practically pleaded.

"Of course not," House replied as if greatly affronted. "But-"

"Oh great," Wilson interrupted resignedly, "here it comes."

"But," he repeated with a glare, "I might have made a remark about her inability to be a normal woman, and perhaps something to the effect that it would be nice if she stayed home to make a pot roast for dinner then greeted me at the door wearing an apron and pearls."

"You didn't," Wilson said his eyes growing wide in disbelief.

"Well I didn't add _and nothing else, _I just thought it really hard. Besides she was the one who came up with the scenario," House defended himself. "I just agreed that it would be a pleasant one."

Wilson groaned and shook his head in disapproval, making House smirk inwardly. He knew that his best friend still didn't one hundred percent believe that he had gotten married, but he had been completely sucked in by his story of their fight. And if he could believe they fought about her changing surnames well then, belief in the marriage couldn't be far behind.

"So is this your first fight?" Wilson asked taking a sip of his lemonade.

House have him a look. "Have you been paying attention? I piss her off a couple of times a month since she started working here. A couple of times a week in I'm in the zone."

"That is you pushing her buttons to get a rise out of her, not fights," Wilson contradicted. "And besides, I wasn't talking about then, I'm talking about now. Is this your first fight since you married her?"

"Yeah, first married fight, but what does that have to do with anything?" he replied, not failing to notice that that was the first time that Wilson had verbally acknowledged the marriage.

"Because married fights are different that dating fights," Wilson said as an absolute truth.

"You would know," House retorted.

"Because married fights are different that dating fights," Wilson said as an absolute truth."You would know," House retorted. 

"I do know, in fact you could benefit from my experience, for a change. Once you are married, a woman will fight differently that she did when you were just dating."

"And why is that?" House asked, both curious and amused, but not showing either emotion on his face.

"Because now you're stuck and she knows it. Before if a fight got bad enough you could just break up, but now you would have to involve lawyers."

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable at the mention of lawyers and the thoughts of divorces and annulments, he did what he does best and evaded with sarcasm. "Speaking of your 'experience' in these matters, does Hallmark have a section of cards devoted to this sort of thing. I am in no way admitting any sort of culpability, but I do like to be prepared."

"Can't you be serious? Unless..." suddenly understanding washed over his features. "Unless, she already has involved a lawyer."

"I don't think we are really on the verge of a divorce here," House snapped, irritated at how well his friend was reading him, but hiding the real reason for his irritation well. "I'm not going to need the number of your trusty lawyer quite yet." _Especially since Cameron already has one, _he thought to himself.

"I didn't say that you were," Wilson placated quickly. "And I'm not even saying that Cameron is consciously in that line thinking. But what I do know from experience, is that the way she will fight will change. She will fight harder, stay mad longer, and use strange feminine mind games that all women seem to learn intrinsically from the moment you slip that ring on their finger," the thrice married man said conspiratorially.

House actually had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep his amusement in check. "Considering it would be a little inconvenient to make a pilgrimage to Greece and the slopes of Mount Parnassus to visit the Delphic Sibyl, especially with a bum leg and all, I suppose I will have to make do with consulting you. So, oh wise one," he said with a great flourish of his hands. "Thee of the multiple divorces and the great sleeper upon couches. Impart upon me your wisdom and tell me what I must do."

"You make an awful supplicant. Really terrible," Wilson replied with an amused shake of his head, "But despite this, I will help you. Not for your sake though, but because I really feel for Cameron. You need to apologize, but you have to make sure you make the correct apology, especially for a first fight."

"First of all, I don't apologize, and second of all she is the one who started it not me."

"Well if you don't apologize, you are the one who is going to suffer not her, so it would be in your own best interest, and I know that's what is most important to you, to apologize and get it over with. And second, from what I understand she might be the cause, but you are he one that started the actual fight, and you are the one that expressed the desire to be married to Donna Reed."

"Fine," House conceded, "then what do I do?"

"Well it depends."

"On what?" House sighed, beginning to tire of the conversation.

"On what you did, how mad she is, if it's a repeat offence or a first timer. Then once you take all of that into consideration, you then have to evaluate the best way to fix it. You have to decide if its something that will just blow over if you let her cool down for a couple hours, or if a verbal apologize will suffice, or if it is a FCJ situation," Wilson rattled off.

"FCJ?"

"Flowers, candy, and jewelry. Again you choose depending on the severity of the argument. You also want to start small so you have something to work up too."

"Is there a handbook I forgot to pick up?" House asked fascinated at how far the other man has thought this through.

"I wrote the handbook," Wilson replied. "So that means you save the big flower arrangements and jewelry for when you really screw yourself over."

"Or when you screw someone else," House added helpfully.

Wilson chose to ignore this last comment. "So then you have to determine what kind of angry she is. There is the 'I will freeze you out' kind of angry where you might as well not even exist except when she is throwing your pajamas out the bedroom door. There is the 'I'm hurt, but I'm going to say I'm not' kind of angry where she will give you the guilt trip from hell. And then there is the 'I'm mad as hell and going to make sure you and everyone around me knows it' kind of angry, which I'm going to go with based on Chase and Foreman's reaction earlier."

"Well we yelled at each other in the lobby this morning, then we traded barbs in the conference room after she tried to revert to formalities, then I challenged her medical knowledge, then she yelled at me for dry swallowing Vicodin and told me she wasn't going to save me when I finally choked on one someday, then she stormed out of the room and has been avoiding me since."

"She's good," Wilson mused as swirled the ice in his soda with his straw. "She's going with a combination burn and freeze with a side of extraneous guilt."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that she is alternating between hot and cold and that even though it was irrelevant to your argument, she yelled at you about the pill popping to show you that while she is pissed at you she still cares and worries about your well being," he explained.

House took a long drag from his root beer as he contemplated this, as he never would have given Cameron's outburst that kind of meaning on his own. Not that Wilson was right, after it was just part of the game, even though it did seem rather genuine. But it was possible that she really did care in that she didn't want him to die.

"And she doesn't seem to be avoiding you anymore, because here she comes," Wilson said, breaking House out of his thoughts.

Wilson made eye contact with Cameron as she crossed the cafeteria to the table where the two doctors were eating, but House made a show of concentrating on his lunch. After a moment of standing there she slapped the file containing the test results on the table, causing the paper napkins to go flying.

"Well that was just unnecessary," House said condescendingly, finally acknowledging her arrival.

"I was right, she tested positive for H5N1 virus, she has avian influenza," Cameron said crossing her arms smugly over her chest.

"Well that was boring, we got it right on the first try," House said dejectedly, looking over the test results. "At least we get points for having the first case of it in the US."

"Don't you mean _I_ got it right on the first try Dr. House?" Cameron corrected. "I wonder how long it would have taken the rest of you to come up with that if I had been at home ironing your shirts."

"Since when did we start keeping score Dr. Cameron?" House returned. "I thought we were all a team, and last time I checked there was no I in team, although there is an M and an E so…"

"How did your patient manage to get the bird flu?" Wilson interrupted, trying to play peacemaker and change the subject, as well as being honestly curious.

"Apparently her father is a ornithologist at the zoo," Cameron explained. "She went with him when he went to go see why some of the birds in quarantine for their new aviary died. I'll give you three guesses as to where these new birds came from, and the first two don't count."

House chose not to play along, "Start the girl on-"

"I already ordered her to start 75mg of Oseltamivir twice a day," Cameron interrupted coldly. "I also called the CDC and talked to her father who I already tested for H5N1 and have him compiling a list of everyone who was in contact with the infected birds to have them come in and be tested as well."

"Good…" House said after a moment.

Cameron gave Wilson a succinct nod and shot House another glare before turning on her heel and walking out of the cafeteria, her lab coat billowing behind her.

"I should let her stay pissed off," House remarked finishing off his chips. "She did all of my work for me today."

"But do you really want her to not let you do any work at home either?" Wilson countered in a tone that made it clear that he wasn't talking about anything that resembled work.

House considered this for a moment. "So what were you saying about this FCJ thing?"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"What are you two doing out here?" Wilson asked, finding Chase and Foreman standing in the hall outside the diagnostic department conversing at the end of the work day. Chase gestured to the conference room and Wilson quickly understood.

Both men would have really liked to go into the conference room to retrieve their belongings so they could go home, but Cameron was sitting at the table doing some paper work with her back to the window and neither man was brave enough to face her wrath by venturing in there.

"Well have either of you seen House? He disappeared after lunch and I haven't seen him since," Wilson spoke again.

"Nope, we haven't seen him either," Forman relayed.

"That's what I was afraid of," Wilson said. "It does not take this long to go pick up some flowers."

"That's because I don't think he got flowers," Chase mentioned looking over Wilson's shoulder to where House was walking towards them carrying a nylon bag that seemed to have something large and round in it.

"Of course he didn't," Wilson said resignedly as all three men watched the diagnostician walk past them and into the conference room.

Cameron jumped and glared at her boss when he dropped something heavy in front of her on the glass table.

"Your back is to the Greek chorus, they cant see your face," he mentioned, "you don't have to look at me like that."

"You startled me," she explained, looking at the bag in front of her suspiciously. "What's that?"

"It's for you, why don't you open it and find out," he replied.

She loosened the drawstring of the bag and pushed it down and over the object inside.

"It's a helmet," she announced.

"I just cant get one past you," House replied sarcastically.

"It's blue," she stated for lack of anything else to say.

"It's your favorite color," he replied awkwardly.

"It's pretty."

House rolled his eyes, but was inwardly glad she liked it.

"Why?" she asked simply, looking up to meet his gaze.

"Because I'm not a FCJ kind of guy," he said as if that explained everything.

"A what?" she asked having no idea what he was talking about.

"Are you ready to go?" he replied, evading her question while picking up the helmet and putting it on her head.

"Go where?" she asked sliding the wind guard up.

"Are you incapable of stringing more than three words together this afternoon?" he retorted, before pausing and sighing, "I have this afternoon's episode of General Hospital on TiVo."

Cameron stood, a smile crossing her face as she turned and saw their audience. "Is this your way of saying that you done with our fight?" she asked draping her arms over his shoulders and clasping her hands behind his neck.

"I knew you had a full sentence in there somewhere," he joked placing his hands on her waist and leaning down to give her a quick kiss. "Now come on, lets blow this joint," he said flipping the wind guard back down with a click.

Cameron laughed lightly as she barely had enough time to grab her purse before House grabbed her hand and practically dragged her from the building, her still wearing the helmet.

Meanwhile, Wilson, Foreman and Chase watched the whole exchange from where they stood in the hall. And though they couldn't hear what was being said, it didn't stop them from assuming how the conversation was going.

"House can't do anything normally can he?' Forman mentioned when Cameron pulled out the helmet. "I don't think most woman would appreciate something like that as an 'I'm sorry' gift."

"Well I don't think that most women would be able to handle being married to House," Wilson countered, as they presumably made up. "And Cameron obviously doesn't seem to mind.

Knowing it was futile, the three doctors didn't even bother to pretend that they hadn't been watching the whole exchange when the couple came breezing out of the conference room hand in hand, Cameron practically having to race walk to keep up with the pace that should have been too fast for a man with a cane.

"They're going to go have make up sex aren't they?" Chase said to no one in particular once they were both out of sight.

"I think so," Forman responded the revulsion clear in his tone.

All three men made eye contact briefly before shuddering and going their separate ways.

* * *

A/N There we have it… the end of their first fight… and it only took two more chapters than planned…lol…the next chapter is about half done so hopefully it will be ready soon… so let me know what you thought! 


	13. TVs and Cookies and Belt Buckles, Oh My!

A/N Okay I'll admit, this isn't the longest chapter, nor is it very plot driven, but I hope you enjoy it all the same…. At least I updated quick right?

* * *

"Cuddy is looking for you," Wilson mentioned as he fell into step next to his friend as they walked towards the diagnostic department. 

"WHAT!?!" House shouted freezing in place and lifting his cane so that is slammed into the other doctors stomach, forcing Wilson to also stop and turn and look at him in surprise and at his out burst.

Seeing the look of confusion on the oncologists face he spoke again. "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were expecting some kind of reaction from me. So anyways," he continued, not waiting for a response before continuing on the path to his office, "So I'm thinking about buying a new TV."

It only took Wilson a moment to recover and follow. "What's wrong with the TV you have now?"

"Nothing, I'm going to move it into the bedroom."

"The one in your bedroom isn't even a year old."

"Okay, I'm going to ignore how creepy it is that you know how old the TV in my _bedroom_ is and instead tell you that's why I'm going use it to replace the one in the office, which has seen better days, is that alright with you?" House countered. "What kind of man are you? I'm talking electronics and you're only worried about what's going to happen to my old ones? I already have one wife who isn't going to harp this much, I don't need another."

"You mean you haven't told her yet?!" Wilson exclaimed zeroing in on that part of the exchange, earning himself a glare. "Alright, alright, what are you looking to get?"

"That's more like it," House replied. "I was looking at the Pioneer PureVision 60 inch flat panel plasma HDTV."

"House, that's a $6000 TV," Wilson said slowly, "first of all where did you get that kind of money to spend on a TV and second you cannot make that kind of purchase without consulting Dr. Cameron."

"Again with the nagging. First of all," House said turning pausing with his hand on the door of his office, throwing his words back at him, "I'm only supporting one wife, not three like you are. Second, I won some money in Vegas that I haven't spent yet, not that it's any of your business. And thirdly, I guarantee Allison is going to take the news better than you are."

"Well if your sure…"

"I'm sure," he said entering his office.

"So tell me more about this TV," Wilson said, his inner stereotypical man finally making an appearance.

"Well it's got a built in DVR and…" House began happily, but trailing off when he saw a bag sitting on his desk that had not been there when he had last left his office.

Wilson crossed the room to see what could have distracted the diagnostician from talk of his TV. "Is that a bag of… Circus Animal Cookies?"

One of those rare genuine smiles played across House's countenance, and even Wilson was surprised to see it.

"Has it already been twenty four days?" he murmured to himself as he picked up the cookies.

"What?" Wilson asked, not hearing him clearly.

"What?" House returned, having forgotten the other man was still in the room.

"I love those things," Wilson said reaching out to grab the bag.

House quickly slapped his hand away and held the bag out of his reach, "Not yours."

Then, making a quick decision, he put the cookies in the bottom drawer of his desk, grabbed his cane and limped from the room.

"Where are you going?" Wilson called after him.

"To tell my wife I'm going to buy a TV," House retorted over his shoulder.

Meanwhile, Cameron was down in the lab running gels for the immunology department since their last patient had been discharged that morning. She was just finishing up the last one when a pair of hands reached from behind her and covered her eyes.

"Guess who?" House asked playfully.

"David," she said admonishingly, "what have I told you about coming to my work. My husband could see us and he's a very jealous man."

It was the first time that Cameron had referred to him as her husband, even jokingly, when it was just the two of them and hearing it coming from her lips sent an unidentifiable shiver down his spine, one that he chose not to even attempt to dissect.

"Well then," he said releasing his cover of her eyes and sliding his hands over her shoulders, "we'll just have to be extra careful we don't get caught. I'd hate to get my ass kicked, I hear your husband is one bad ass son of a bitch."

She laughed and looked straight up at him so that from where she was sitting the top of her head was resting against his lower stomach.

"What's up House?" she asked getting to the point.

"I'm hungry," he replied simply. "Feed me."

"Is it that late already?" she asked a bit confused. The last time she had checked she had still had a little over an hour before their usual lunch time.

"No, but it's a nice day outside, I thought we could eat outside, since its going to be too cold for that pretty soon, before we head upstairs to watch our soap," he explained.

Cameron's eyes narrowed suspiciously at this uncharacteristic suggestion. "So why are you really getting me for lunch, cause I know its not because of your love for beautiful fall afternoons."

"I skipped out on clinic duty this morning and Cuddy is looking for me, and I know she wont look for me outside in the courtyard," he said simply.

"And you need me to come, why?"

House rolled his eyes exasperatedly. "So if she finds me I can use you as a human shield. If you just come without asking anymore questions, I'll share my cookies with you," he said temptingly

"Alright," she agreed with a grin, still questioning his motives, but happy that he had found his 'anniversary' gift and was seemingly pleased about it and also privately wondering if it might have had a little bit to do with his out of character actions. "I'm all finished here so let me just- Ow!"

She had attempted to swivel around in her chair to face him, but only got about half way there before something yanked her by her hair, not letting her go any further.

"What the hell House!?" she asked angrily, assuming he had done something.

"I didn't do anything," he retorted. "You're the genius who got your hair tangled up in my belt buckle."

"I did what?!" she exclaimed. "Oww… what, are you doing _trying _to rip all the hair out of my head?!"

"I'm _trying_ to get you untangled, you tightened it up and made it worse when you turned around. Now would you stop moving." He worked for a minute before he spoke again. "Can you get on your knees, you're too high up, I cant see what I'm doing."

She did what he asked, maneuvering herself carefully as to not make it worse so that she was kneeling facing him. As she sat there she kept herself occupied by trying to figure out what the spot on the left leg of House's jeans was.

"What are you doing?" he asked suddenly, jumping slightly when she started rubbing the inside of his thigh.

"You have something on your jeans," she explained, still rubbing from the vantage point on her knees. "What did you eat that was red and sticky?"

"I don't know," he replied distractedly, trying his best to think of something very unsexy that had nothing to do with the fact that he had his hands tangled in Allison Cameron's very soft hair while she was kneeling on the floor in front of his rubbing on his inner thigh. "But are you sure you want to be doing that while your face is right there?"

Cameron's hands quickly dropped to her lap as she caught his meaning and she was glad that all he could see was the top of her head so that he couldn't see her blush.

"Now if I can just get my belt undone you should be free," House told her concentrating on the task at hand. "And there…we…have it."

Cameron sat back on her ankles and she ran her fingers against her tender scalp as House put his belt back on.

"Finally," she sighed. "My knees were starting to hurt."

"Oh my god!"

Both Cameron and House turned to look at the startled Aussie who had just walked into the lab. He had covered his eyes with one hand but only after seeing House putting on his belt while Cameron kneeled before him with extremely mussed hair.

"I'll just come back later," Chase said quickly before practically fleeing from the room.

Neither of them said a word as they looked at each other as they absorbed what had just happened. Then suddenly Cameron burst out laughing, she continued to laugh until she was gripping the edge of the counter with one hand for support and had her other arm wrapped around her stomach from the pain of laughing.

"It wasn't that funny," he remarked, even though he too was chuckling, but at her amusement as much as at what had just happened. He had never seen her laugh so freely at something and he was actually a little surprised that this had set her off. He would have expected her to be more embarrassed than amused.

"Did you see the look on his face?" she asked as she caught their breath. Once she was calmer she motioned to the door with a tilt of her head. "Come on, I'm hungry, lets go get lunch."

House showed his agreement by draping his arm over her shoulders and leading her out of the room. "So I'm thinking of getting a new TV," he mentioned conversationally.

"Finally figured out what your going to spend your Vegas money on?" Cameron asked, getting an affirmative nod in reply. "Cool, then you should bring your old one into the office, the one in there now is kind of grainy."

"I told Wilson you would harp less," he muttered to himself as the entered the cafeteria, happy he was right but also not sure if it was cool or disconcerting at how easily she had known what his plan was.

"What?"

"Come on lets eat lunch," he evaded, pushing his previous thoughts from his mind, "cause there is an episode of General Hospital and a bag of anniversary cookies waiting for us upstairs."

Cameron only responded with a smile.

* * *

A/N And there we have it… now its after four thirty in the morning, and while I have reread it, im tired but i wanted to get this up tonight so I apologize in advance for any typos I might have missed…. So let me know what you all thought! 


	14. Clap On, Clap Off

A/N So I have to mention, in some reviews from the last chapter some people mentioned that I guess something similar happened in the movie Two Weeks Notice? However I have to admit that I've never seen that movie…. Unfortunately for me, the whole belt buckle incident is a little more autobiographical than I would like to admit…. Except it happened to me at lunch time my junior year of high school and all my friends were to busy laughing at me to help my poor boyfriend get me untangled…. Anyways, here is the next chapter!!!

* * *

Cameron laughed when she got a page from House. That wasn't the normal reaction, but normally he didn't page her while she was in the conference room and he was right next door in the office. She got up from her seat at her desk and crossed over to the door wondering what he could want since she could see through the open blinds that he packing up to leave, and they had taken separate cars that day.

"What's up House?" she asked leaning in the door way.

"My new TV is being delivered today," he mentioned.

"I know," she replied amused, "that's why we didn't drive in together this morning, so you could leave early, like you are right now, to meet the delivery men."

"The big hockey game is on tomorrow, first Flyers game of the season" he continued, ignoring her condescending tone.

"Then aren't you lucky the TV is coming today," she joked, not sure why he was informing her of this.

"I told Wilson to invite the poker boys over to watch it."

"Are you actually going to share your new toy?" she asked with faux gasp of amazement.

"Okay, one, I'm showing off, not sharing, there is a difference. And two, would it possible for me to say one thing without you making some kind of smart ass comment?"

"What?" she asked a wide smile crossing her face. "You mean that's actually annoying? I never would have guessed."

House shook his head slightly, she had been spending way to much time around him, but that thought reminded him of why he had called her in in the first place. "You should be there," he said simply, throwing his backpack over one shoulder.

"Can't I just be out shopping?" she asked now understanding what he was getting at.

"No, Jimmy is about 95 percent convinced that we're married, but it wouldn't take much for to send him back into the land of the non believer," he replied.

"Fine," she relented, "I'll at least make an appearance at the beginning and then 'go shopping.'"

"That would work," he said with his hand on the door, "but I need you there to make everyone sandwiches."

"Keep dreaming House," she chuckled.

"I'm not kidding," he replied. "Tomorrow, everyone is getting there at 11:30. There will be six of us. Or if you want you can invite the goons and make it eight."

"What," she said, her tone making it clear she was not amused. "You cant be serious."

"Of course I'm serious," he replied. "I figure if you refuse to take my last name that a couple sandwiches are the least you can do."

House then limped out of the office before she could counter, leaving her fuming in the doorway between the office and the conference room. She had just made it back to her desk when Chase and Foreman came back from the clinic. Seeing the murderous look on her face as she pounded the keys of her laptop, Chase stopped cold in the doorway causing to Foreman slam into his back. After regaining their balance, the two men had a silent debate on whether to ask her what was wrong or if they should just turn around and flee with their lives. Eventually Foreman won and they took a couple tentative steps in the room.

"I something wrong Cameron?" Foreman asked after a nudge from Chase.

Cameron was going to snap at both of them until a metaphorical light bulb went off above her head.

"Actually no," she said as a smile that could only be describe as devious flittered across her face. "Do you guys like hockey?"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"What are you doing so early, and what's in the bags?" House asked sleepily as he opened his front door to Cameron the next morning.

"They're called groceries, and I believe I need them to make sandwiches you so politely asked for," Cameron replied, managing to keep most of the spite out of her voice, after all she had a little something extra at the bottom on one of her bags.

House looked at her suspiciously for a moment before stepping aside and granting her entrance. He had half expected her not to show up at all, let alone actually go out and buy the fixings for sandwiches. But he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth and informed her that he was going to take a shower.

He never saw the Machiavellian look on Cameron's face as he left her alone in the living room, with plenty of time and the perfect opportunity to enact her plan.

Now out of the shower and dressed for the day, House wandered into the kitchen to where Cameron was working. He paused in the doorway when he noticed that she had taken off her pea coat and he could see what she was wearing. He didn't have a problem admitting that he liked what he saw. She was wearing a pair of dark blue low rider jeans with a tight, three quarter length, vintage Beatles t-shirt where the hem just barely grazed her belly button.

"What are you making?" he asked cautiously.

"Seven layer dip," she replied pleasantly. "Now you can either stay here and help or get out of the kitchen."

That was all he needed to hear before he hightailed it out of the kitchen and deposited himself on the couch in front of the TV, waiting for the others to arrive.

Wilson was the first one to arrive and Cameron greeted him cheerfully at the door.

"Hey Dr. Wilson, how are you doing?" she asked taking his coat from him.

"I'm fine thanks Dr. Cameron," he answered with a smile, "and please call me Jimmy, I think we can move past formalities at this point."

"Only if you call me Allison," she replied with a smile. "Can I get you a beer?"

"I can get one," he said awkwardly, not used to hospitality at his friends home.

"Oh it's no problem," she said reassuringly, "please go sit down, I'll be back in a sec."

Wilson did as he was told and wandered over to the couch sitting next to House as he looked around the room curiously.

"I'm surprised there isn't more of Cameron's stuff around," he said off handedly.

House froze for a second, as he cursed himself for not thinking about that before and telling her to bring over some things to scatter around the condo.

"That's because most of my stuff is still at my apartment," Cameron saved as she walked back into the living room with two beers in her hand, giving one to each man. "The lease on my place isn't up yet and we simply haven't gotten around to moving my stuff in, we've just been so busy these past couple weeks."

"Right," Wilson said companionably, but still not wholly convinced.

But he didn't get to dwell on it much longer because someone else knocked on the door at the same time a timer went off in the kitchen.

"That's the oven," Cameron announced, "Jimmy, can you get the door please."

"Of course," the other doctor replied as he went to go let in who turned out to be both Chase and Foreman.

Offers of drinks were repeated several times until everyone had arrived and was sitting around the TV with cold beers while House discussed the merits of his new plasma.

"Coming through," Cameron announced, walking through the crowd of men carrying a bowl of tortilla chips in one hand and her seven layer dip in the other, as they watched the pre-game.

Suddenly House found himself not enjoying her outfit as much anymore as her shirt rode up even higher as she carried the bowls above her head, and he watched all the other men gape openly at her.

"Stop undressing my wife with your eyes!" he commanded, making all the other men's eyes snap to somewhere else in the room.

"Oh don't be silly Greg," Cameron replied sweetly, "they weren't doing that. Where you boys?" she asked as she pulled her hair out of it's messy bun and shook her head carelessly so that it cascaded around her shoulders.

All of them quickly murmured an equivalent to the negative while House simply raised an eyebrow at her. So this was how she was going to play it eh? Well he figured if this was the way she was going to get her revenge, he could put up with it.

"This dip is amazing Cameron," Foreman said after taking a bite, eager to change the topic as to not get on his boss's bad side.

"Well thank you Foreman, it was my grandmothers recipe," she replied with a genuine smile. "Now what kind of sandwiches would you all like? I have roast beef, turkey, and ham."

She took orders and disappeared back into kitchen reappearing just as the actual game was starting. Seeing her trying to balance eight plates, poker guy number two, as House called him, jumped up to help her carry them in.

"Well thank you Henry," she said awarding him with a winning smile, which awarded him a scowl from House.

Taking his roast beef sandwich from her, House lifted up the top slice of bread warily, absently wondering if she had done something to it as she was being way to pleasant and innocent, even for her, forcing him to categorize her behavior as completely unpredictable.

"Is something wrong Greg?" she asked with those wide Bambi eyes of hers, inwardly smirking when she saw she had him off kilter.

"No, nothings wrong Allison," he said quickly dropping the bread back in place.

"Well good cause I made it just the way you like it," she replied leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek. "And let me get you another beer, any one else need one?"

Everyone raised their hands and she made her way to the kitchen to fetch them.

"You know," poker guy number four said once she was out of sight, "if she is good in the sack-"

"And she is," Chase interjected reminiscently, earning himself a whack to the back of his head from House.

"-she is the perfect woman. So when you screw this up House, which I have no doubt you will, I am so going after her," poker guy concluded.

"You shut the hell up before I kick your ass out, and Chase if you ever mention that again I'll personally see to it that you do every proctology exam that comes into the clinic for the rest of your career," House growled just as Cameron walked back into the room.

"Something wrong boys?" she asked doling out drinks.

Once again all the men muttered that of course nothing was wrong, while House just glowered moodily.

"Well good, I think I have all of you set for a while," she announced, "I'm going to head back to the bedroom for a while, let me know if you need anything."

They assured her that they would and Cameron grabbed the book off the counter that she had brought with her that morning and wandered back to House's bedroom, just waiting for it to happen. She wasn't disappointed because she had barely settled herself on the bed and found her place when she heard it.

"YES!"

"GO GO GO!"

"COME ON!"

Then…

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"WHO TOUCHED THE REMOTE!"

"WHY'D THE TV TURN OFF!"

"Oh wait it's back on!"

"We missed the goal!"

"And the instant replay!"

"Damn it!"

Meanwhile Cameron just smirked and started the next chapter.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"What the hell is wrong with my TV?!?" House exclaimed frustrated once everyone had gone home and only Wilson remained to help Cameron clean up.

"Oh that turning on and off thing?" Cameron asked innocently as she gathered up empty beer bottles.

"No, the other incredibly annoying thing that my brand new, very expensive, plasma TV is doing," he grumbled as he poked at different buttons. "I'm going to kill the guy at the electronics store."

"I don't think there is anything wrong with the TV itself," she said looking over his shoulder at what he was doing.

"Oh yeah," he replied sarcastically, "if its not a problem with the TV, then what do _you_ think is wrong with it?"

Cameron brought a finger up to the corner of her mouth as she was considering his question intently. "Well… I don't claim to know everything about electronics, but _I_ think it has more to do with the clapper that I attached to it this morning while you were in the shower."

House turned around slowly, shock and disbelief clearly written across his features.

"But I'm just the pretty little thing here to make your sandwiches," she continued with a innocent shrug, "what do I know."

He watched her in amazement as she picked up one last bottle and waltzed into the kitchen. He looked back at his TV and clapped his hands experimentally, sure enough the TV turned on, he clapped again and it turned off. He stared at the now blank screen stunned, but it only took him a minute to recover before he stood and limped into the kitchen after her, where she had started washing dishes with Wilson.

"Let me get this straight," House said coming in and leaning nonchalantly on the counter. "You were angry at me for telling you to make everyone sandwiches…"

"Yup," she said pleasantly, fishing a sudsy glass out of the water, "I'm not June Cleaver."

"So as revenge, you attached a clapper to my new TV so that every time we cheered when something exciting happened, it would shut off?" House asked so calmly that Wilson stopped dying the platter he was holding and turned to watch.

"Yup," Cameron replied cheerily.

Wilson didn't even have a chance to react as House quickly advanced on Cameron, grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around just as she was grabbing another glass, spraying water all over the kitchen. Her eyes widened in surprise at his action and a bit more when she saw the grin that had spread across his face.

"That is brilliant," he exclaimed before wrapping his arms around her and leaning down to kiss her deeply, not even noticing the water that was dripping down his back as she brought her arms, still holding the wet glass, around his neck in response to his kiss.

Then as quickly as he grabbed her, he let her go and was back in the living room, plopping himself down on the couch. He lifted his hands above his head, clapped loudly twice and sat back to watch TV.

* * *

A/N So what did you all think? Just a warning, I'm going home for Easter this weekend so I might not have to much internet access so I might not be able to post again until Monday, but I'll see what I can do… In case I don't get a chance to I wish everyone a happy Easter if you celebrate it and if you don't have a happy April 8th ! 


	15. I'll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours

A/N Thanks for all the good Easter wishes! It was really sweet of you all… I know the last couple chapters and even this next one may not seem very plot driven, but they are in the way that its all about character and relationship development, cause I want things to seem like they evolve naturally… so hopefully I will succeed in that…anyways I'll stop rambling and let you read the chapter…

* * *

House searched her features on the pretense of evaluating her poker face. He took in the line of her jaw, the rise of her high cheek bones, the pout of her lips as she concentrated on her hand, the slope of her petite nose, the color of her eyes which seemed to hover between green and blue depending on what color she was wearing that day, the tiny scar underneath the perfect arch of her left eyebrow.

"I'll see your tongue depressor and raise you two gauze pads," she said ending his observation when she looked up and made eye contact.

Half an hour ago, he had pulled his immunologist into the storage closet on the second floor in clear view of the Dean of Medicine. Having barricaded the door with a broken lab stool, Cuddy could do nothing but pound on the door and yell at them for ten minutes before giving up and walking away. They had spent the rest of the time sitting on the floor playing poker.

"I'll call," he said throwing in the appropriate medical supplies.

"What do you have?" she asked.

"Three of a kind," House said laying down his hand.

"Full house," she replied triumphantly throwing down her two queens and three eights before collecting her winnings.

"How did you get that little scar underneath your eye brow?" he asked suddenly, and if she was surprised by his seemingly random question she didn't show it.

"I got in a fight," she said as if it was no big deal.

"Really?" he asked eyes wide.

"No," she laughed. "I slipped in the shower when I was little and hit my head on the towel rack," she explained. She paused as if considering something, then spoke again. "How did you get the scar underneath your chin?"

"When your mother tells you not to run on the wet pool deck, you shouldn't run on the wet pool deck," House replied sagely.

Cameron rolled up her sleeve and showed him some faint lines across the inside of her forearm. "My roommate in med school had the cat from hell."

House showed her an old scar on his left pointer finger. "Snapping turtles really do snap."

Cameron laughed as she pulled her pants up enough so he could see the rectangular scar on the outside of her right ankle bone. "When I was an undergrad, I was shaving my legs when the power went out in my dorms while I was taking a shower at night. I couldn't get it to stop bleeding with all that hot water so I was running around in the dark in a towel trying to find some one with a band aid."

"I would have liked to see that," he said with a suggestive raise of his eyebrow.

"And all the guys in my co-ed hall did," she laughed, "let me tell you, having twelve flashlights turned on you at once can be rather blinding."

House laughed and rolled up his sleeve to expose his elbow. "The first time I rode a two wheeler bike, the only way I could figure out how to stop was by running into a light pole."

"I think I ran into a car," Cameron sympathized as she pulled off her left shoe and showed the three equally spaced puncture marks that were on the bottom of her foot to House. "I was playing tag with my brothers in the back yard when I was eight while my mom was gardening and I stepped right on her cultivator. You know, one of those three pronged hand rake things," she paused as he nodded to show he knew what she was talking about. "Well it went right into my foot and I had to go to the hospital to get it removed."

House winced appropriately before rolling up his pant leg to show her what at one time must have been a fairly nasty gash on his shin. He realized he had never even told Wilson the story he was about to tell her, but after a second of reconsideration, he found that he wanted to tell her anyways. "I got in a fight with a hurdle and lost…miserably," he said simply.

"I didn't know you ran track," Cameron mentioned. "I thought you played lacrosse."

"I didn't, and I did," he replied. "But as you know they're both spring sports so we would all be on the track and field at the same time. A couple of my teammates and I were flirting with some of the girls on the track team and thought we would show off by jumping a few hurdles. I cleared the first couple just fine until one of my other teammates thought it would be funny to throw a ball at me right as I was going over. My knee caught on the hurdle and I went down, hard. I actually broke the hurdle and the broken end slashed open my leg."

"Well if you broke the hurdle," Cameron said trying her hardest not to burst out laughing. "Then I would say you came out pretty even in the fight."

"No," House insisted shaking his head. "The hurdle was broken and put out of its misery. Remember this is before the era of the all weather track, so I hit that dirt hard. The whole right side of my body was completely road rashed. I certainly made an impression on those girls and it was not the one I wanted."

At this point the whole mental picture was to much to bear and she started cracking up completely, holding her stomach as she rolled with laughter.

"Sure, laugh at the cripple's misfortune," House said even as a ghost of a smile crossed his lips, although he couldn't tell you if it was more in amused self-deprecation or in reaction to her delight.

"Hey, you weren't a cripple at the time," she retorted.

"I was for a good three weeks after that fall," he returned, making her giggle harder. "My lacrosse coach was so pissed, I had to sit out two games," he reminisced almost fondly. "He wanted to murder me and that little basted that threw that ball at me."

"There is a reason I refused to try hurdles when I ran track in high school," Cameron mentioned once she stopped laughing. "Almost every injury I ever saw happened to hurdlers. Although," she said with a grin, "I never actually saw anyone break a hurdle."

"Laugh it up why don't you," he said with an actual grin, his defenses lower than they had been in years. "I didn't know you ran track, I always pegged you for a cheerleader."

"Actually," she said as her face flushed slightly, "I cheered in the fall and ran track in the spring. But the cheering was more to make my mother happy than for me, I really loved track. I ran the one hundred, the two hundred and pole vaulted."

"You were a pole vaulter?" House asked, sounding mildly impressed. "I see you've always had an affinity for large poles," he smirked fingering his cane that sat next to him causing her to roll her eyes.

"House, I pole vaulted for four years, even you couldn't come up with a pole joke I haven't heard before. Besides," she said, her voice dropping an octave, "I favored a ten foot pole and knew how to work it, your pole," she told him leaning towards and running her hand down his cane, "is nothing."

House's throat went dry and he hoped she didn't notice his Adam's apple bounce as he gulped hard. He was going to give her an equally suggestive reply, but never got the chance as she had already sat back and was shuffling the cards for the next round of poker while she spoke.

"But I can beat you for the best scar story," she said casually.

"Oh yeah?" he asked watching her nimble hands manipulate the cards with ease. "I think my leg beats any scar you have."

"No," Cameron disagreed. "I'm talking about scar story, not scar itself. You got that from a medical procedure, I'm talking warrior wounds."

"Warrior wounds?"

"Yeah," she replied smiling, "that's what we called any cut, scrape or bruise that we got growing up that was worth showing off when received in the process of playing a sport or doing something dangerous, hard, or cool. Your hurdle accident, total warrior wound, me slicing my ankle while shaving, not so much."

"Did you get a lot of warrior wounds growing up?" House asked, enjoying this insight into her childhood.

"Oh yeah," she replied, almost proud of that fact. "I'm the youngest of five children with four older brothers. I knew how to hang with the boys."

House took in this new tidbit about his immunologist, placing with it with the rest of the information he knew about her. It didn't really seem to compute with the polite, somewhat timid, reserved, professional Dr. Cameron that he had worked with for so long. But then again the longer she worked for him the more she came out of her shell and more recently since they had been spending so much time together, he seemed to be getting more and more glances of a playful outgoing Allison, that he was beginning to think was the real her and that he really enjoyed spending time with.

"I was fourteen," she said breaking him out of his reverie, "the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of high school and there were five of us that where staying over at my friend Nick's house-"

"Sleeping over at a boys house at fourteen," House interrupted, "scandalous."

"We had all gown up together since we were babies," she replied rolling her eyes and dealing the cards, "none of our parents cared. Anyways, so it was me, Becky, Jessica, Nick, and Andrew over at Nick's place and at three in the morning we decided that it would be a good idea to go ghost hunting. Nick only lived a couple miles from the cemetery so we all jumped on our bikes and took off. How many cards do you want?" she asked once both had their hands.

House looked at his cards. "Two," he told her throwing down the discarded cards and taking the two new ones she gave him.

"So anyways," she said after taking three new cards for herself, "we got to the cemetery and hopped the fence no problem and soon we were in the middle of the cemetery running around through the mausoleums and statues taking pictures in an attempt to find ghosts. We were all having fun and laughing when Jessica mentions the fact that we're actually walking around on dead people, which starts to freak everybody out. Then Becky flips out completely thinking she saw something, screams, and takes off running towards the gate. This of course makes the rest of us freak out and go running after her. All of us make it to safety on the other side of the fence no problem, except for Andrew, who is now beginning to have an asthma attack as he is standing all by himself on the wrong side of the fence. So Nick and I climb back over the fence so we can haul him over. We get him over and Nick and I go to follow, but my shoe got caught in one of the holes in the chain link fence, and I panicked. For some reason I thought that a dead person had grabbed my foot and wasn't going to let me go… It's not funny!" Cameron interjected as House began to laugh.

"Yes it is," he replied laughing harder.

"Okay," she conceded. "It's funny now, but it wasn't funny at the time. Because at the time I am convinced that something has grabbed me, so I scream and launch myself over the fence. Except that I didn't make it all the way and impale myself on the top of the chain link, and with my adrenaline going like it was, I didn't even notice as my momentum kept carrying me over, effectively ripping myself open."

At this point in the story Cameron had put her cards down next to her and gotten up on her knees so she could unbutton her pants. She pulled them down slightly on one side exposing a jagged scar that started just above her right hip bone and continued down and to the left until it disappeared behind her underwear. House reached out and traced the scar lightly with his fingertips causing a shiver to go down her spine and her voice to lower an octave or two as she continued her story.

"I ended up doing a somersault in the air and landed on my back on the other side knocking myself out cold. My friends thought I was dead because they couldn't wake me up and because so much blood was soaking through my shirt and shorts," she said in almost in a whisper as she watched him run his fingers along her raised flesh. "When I finally came to, they wanted to get help, but I didn't want us all to get in trouble since we were supposed to be asleep at Nick's house, so I insisted that I was okay to bike back. I was so out of it that Nick and Andrew had to ride next to me, each holding onto one side of my handlebars so I didn't crash. Some how, to this day I don't remember the whole ride back, we made it back to Nick's house were I cleaned myself up, used a whole box of band aids and went to bed.

"Allison!" House admonished poking her several times in the stomach, "You hid this?"

"Yeah," she laughed, the use of her given name sounding so natural that she didn't even notice that he had used it for the first time when they were in private and it wasn't meant as a joke, "I had to make up a story to explain to my mom why I didn't bring home all the clothes I left with and why I didn't go swimming for the rest of the summer."

"You needed to go to the hospital for this," he said almost angrily. "You needed stitches and a tetanus shot at the very least, not to mention the fact that you probably had a stage two concussion and if you landed on you back like that you could have had spinal damage. And depending on how deep you impaled yourself you could have had internal damage, it could have gotten infected which could have spread-"

"I know Greg," she said, amusement clear in her eyes as she used a couple fingers to lift his chin so that he was looking at her face instead of focused on the scar on the inside of her hip. Unlike her, he did notice when she used his first name, but chose not to comment on it because he liked the way it sounded, so few people used it, and didn't want to discourage it in the future. "I'm a doctor too, but I wasn't at the time. At the time I just didn't want to get me and my friends in trouble," she said rebuttoning up her slacks.

She began to sit back on her heels but was halted when he reached out and grabbed her, one hand on her hip where he now knew her scar resided, and the other on her cheek, cradling her face. Their eyes met in a moment of intensity, where neither of them seemed to breathe. And then he was kissing her, and without any hesitation she was kissing him back. There was something different about this kiss than any other they had shared before, there was no one watching this time, this wasn't a show. Cameron's arms traveled around his body where her hands were running up and down his back while House kept on hand on her hip and the other entangled itself in her hair. Just as his second hand began to wander away from her hip and up her shirt, his pager went off making them jump apart.

"What was that for?" Cameron asked in a stunned whisper as she struggled to slow her racing heart.

"Just practicing," he replied with a shrug, carefully regulating his breathing as he glanced down at his pager. "Thought we should refine our technique. We should go, the patient's tests are back."

Cameron quickly stood and straightened her shirt and hair before giving House a hand up. They both left the closet quickly without another word, as they made their way to the elevator that would take them up to their department.

"So," House said slowly once the elevator door closed, "anything else I should know about you?"

Cameron bit her still kiss swollen bottom lip as she considered his question. "I'm ambidextrous?"

* * *

A/N I really enjoyed writing this one so I hope that came across…. So let me know what you thought! The next chapter is going to be good i think so that should be up pretty soon...And check out my drabble collection while you wait for the next chapter if you havent yet! 


	16. Moving In

A/N Well I think that House and Cameron are simply getting much to comfortable in their routine, so I believe it's about time to shake things up! Also special thanks have to go both Corrin for her help and insight as always and also to Fenris242 for telling me how to beat the site glitch that has bane of my existence for the last day and a half… without either of them you would not be reading this chapter now….

* * *

House had barely been at work 20 minutes when everybody's favorite oncologist walked through his office door looking completely bedraggled. His tie was on crooked, his shirt was un-ironed, and it didn't look like had taken a shower that morning. He also had deep circles under his eyes that spoke of a sleepless night and his basic posture told everyone that he was not in the mood to be messed with. 

"Who peed in your cheerios this morning?" House asked in way of a greeting.

"House I need a favor," Wilson said without any kind of preamble.

"I've told you time and time again Wilson. No, you cannot borrow Allison to be your personal sex slave. You should have called dibs on her before I did," House replied. "Oh wait that cant be the favor you want, you're married, not that its stopped you before."

"Not for long," Wilson said gloomily.

"Not for long what?"

"I wont be married for much longer," Wilson clarified.

"Ah, so who was it," House asked knowingly. "The new radiology nurse?"

"My financial planner," Wilson said flatly.

"Wait a second," the diagnostician paused, "isn't your financial planner's name David?"

Wilson nodded solemnly as he collapsed pathetically into the chair in front of House's desk.

"Well well well… I guess I shouldn't be that surprised. I mean you do have amazing hair," House said reorganizing what he knew about his best friend in his mind. "So I suppose, that if the favor is that you wanted was to use Chase as your personal sex slave, then I could probably have that arranged."

"No House," Wilson said looking up at the other doctor, shaking his head incredulously. "Julie slept with David, not me."

"Okay then, no Chase," House replied, his world returning to the way it was. "But you still cant have Allison. And yes you can crash on my couch for awhile, I'm sure its missed you," he said knowing that's what his soon to be thrice divorced friend had come into ask.

Wilson was surprised, to say the least, that House didn't go off on the tangent of asking how it felt now that the shoe was on the other foot, being cheated on instead of doing the cheating. Or joking about his record and his third failed marriage. Instead the teasing had been almost gentle by House's standards and he had agreed to let him stay at his condo without even making him beg like he usually did. Wilson couldn't help but wonder if perhaps Cameron's niceness really was rubbing off on him. Speaking of Cameron…

"Are you sure Cameron wont mind?" Wilson asked not wanting to cause problems between the couple.

_Ah crap,_ He hadn't thought about that when he offered up his couch_. Well too late to go back now._

"Of course she wont mind. She wouldn't be Allison if she turned away a wounded puppy in need of a home, such as yourself," House quipped.

"Right, well thanks," Wilson said gratefully. "I'll go back to my house and get some stuff after work and then come over."

"Alright Jimmy," House said dismissively, trying to figure out a solution to this mess.

"Well I've got work to do so I'll see you later," the oncologist said moving towards the door, figuring he had used his niceness quota of the week and was reverting back to his normal rude self and that it would be better to get out while he was ahead.

"Could you ask Allison to come in here on your way out?" he asked distractedly.

Wilson nodded and changed directions so that he could leave through the conference room instead of directly out into the hall. House didn't have long to plot before his immunologist strolled casually into the room.

"What did you need House?" she asked amiably as she stood in front of his desk.

"Cameron, I have a mission for you," he said cryptically.

"Do we have a patient?"

"No, this mission is much more important than some needy sick person," he scoffed as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys and tossing them to her.

Cameron jumped in surprise at the keys flying towards her face, but managed to react in time to catch them.

"What do you want me to do with these?" she asked.

"You mission should you choose to accept it, is to go and get two copies of my house keys made. Once phase one is complete I want you to go to your apartment and pack up a bunch of your stuff to complete phase three, which it to scatter your stuff around my condo so it looks like you have been living here for a while, since the excuse you used last time isn't going to fly again."

"What, why?" Cameron asked confused.

"It's a good thing you drove in yourself today," House mused aloud, ignoring her questions. "Bring enough clothes for at least the next week or so as well. You can always smuggle in more things as needed."

"What?!" she repeated herself. "Why?"

"Because you are moving in."

"What?! Why!?" she exclaimed this time.

"Are you aware that you are stuck on repeat? If not, you should really get that checked out."

"Just answer me House."

"Because Jimmy is moving in too."

The expression on Cameron's face showed that she clearly had no idea what was going on.

"Wilson is getting another divorce, so he needs a place to crash for a couple weeks until he gets his own place," House explained.

"Was it Tina from Radiology?" Cameron asked.

"That's who I thought too," House said smirking at their linear thoughts. "But no it was David his financial planner."

Confusion, realization, surprise and then finally acceptance flittered across her countenance in rapid succession.

"Well I guess its not that much of a surprise," she said taking this information in stride after only a moment of musing.

The left side of his mouth turned down in a half frown, she was doing that more and more lately. "That's what I said too, are you spying on me? Get out of my head. The hours between 8-11 them's my hours, no girls allowed."

Cameron laughed and shook her head.

"Anyways," he continued, looking at her warily, "Julie was the one that slept with David. For once it isn't Wilson's fault."

"Ohhh," she said, it suddenly making much more sense. "Well, good for him I guess. Not the fact that he got cheated on or that he's getting another divorce, but at least he wasn't the one to screw things up this time. But are you sure me moving in is the best idea?"

"Well it's going to be awkward explaining to Jimmy tonight when he arrives why my wife doesn't live with me," House said as if he was explaining to a second grader.

"I'm saying maybe it's time to give it up. We have been at this for over a month now and everybody is already convinced that we got married on purpose. If I move in, we're talking about having to keep up the charade 24 hours a day," Cameron said sensibly.

"We cant quit now," House replied as if scandalized at the very suggestion, and also ignoring the ball that formed in the pit of his stomach at the thought of ending the game, "it's just getting good. Think of all the fun we can have messing with Wilson around the clock."

"Fine," Cameron sighed, giving in more easily than she would have liked, choosing to believe that that didn't mean that she wasn't ready to quit the game either. "But don't blame me when this all blows up in our faces."

House smiled triumphantly, which Cameron made a point of ignoring.

"Now which keys am I copying?"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Cameron finally dragged herself back into the conference room at about twenty minutes to six, just as Forman and Chase were contemplating packing up for the day.

"Where have you been all day?" Chase asked when she sat down heavily beside him.

"Are you alright?" Forman questioned when he saw how exhausted she looked.

"I was getting our guest room ready for Wilson, he's going to be staying with us for a while," Cameron explained as she lay her forehead on the cool glass tabletop.

House, who had been standing in the doorway between his office and the conference room marveled as he always did at how coolly she lied to the boys, until he realized something.

"I don't have a guest room," he said suddenly.

"We do now," she replied placing a subtle emphasis on the pronoun.

"I am of the Ben Franklin school of guest management which means, guests, like fish, begin to stink after three days. I don't have a guest room, as that would suggest that I am actually open to guests," he retorted. "There is a reason my couch isn't comfortable to sleep on. After the last divorce he was so sore after a week and a half, that he had already found another apartment."

"And as long as I'm living there too, you are not making your best friend sleep on the couch when you have a perfectly good office with a futon that he can sleep on," she retorted.

"When did I get a futon?" House asked honestly perplexed.

"Greg," Cameron said stretching out his name in a tone that clearly said shut up while you're still ahead, as she was all too aware of her coworkers who were watching the exchange between their boss and their collogue like a ping pong match.

"Oh, that right… our new futon," he covered lamely. "Well I just _have_ to see this," House said grandly to cover his bad cover, causing all three of his ducklings to roll his eyes. "Come oh significant other," he said practically dragging her out of her chair. "Let us go home."

As he guided her out of the room with a hand placed on the small of her back, both of them thought how strange the idea a common home sounded, but tried not to dwell on the fact that strange didn't necessarily equal bad.

* * *

A/N And the plot thickens…muah ha ha ha…lol… I know this chapter was a little bit on the short side but I had to set up whats to come now that our favorite couple is going to be living under the same roof…. So tell me what did you all think? 

Oh also, this Saturday is my 20th birthday so I'm not going to have much time to write, but I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible… but it probably wont be until next week sometime sorry about that, but there could be a drabble up before that if you all want it ::wink wink::


	17. Home Sweet Home

A/N I'm aliiiiiiive! Sorry everyone I've been MIA for the past couple weeks… I'm in the final stretch of the semester (My last final is next Wednesday) so I've been actually doing school stuff… I know surprising right? Well anyways, I did manage to get this chapter out while I was ::ahem:: at work, so here it is…

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The first thing House noticed when he walked through the front door of his condo was the smell… or perhaps more accurately, the lack of it. Usually his place had the lingering smell of cigar smoke and scotch from years of build up, but now that was gone in favor of something slightly citrusy.

"It smells…different," he announced not wanting to admit that while he didn't necessarily consider the old one a bad smell, but that this new one might be an improvement. "What did you do?"

"Well you see, there is this wonderful new invention that some people like to call Febreze and when you combine that with actually opening the windows for a few hours, you would be amazed at the results," she retorted snidely.

Ignoring her, he ventured further into the condo, looking around and feeling like it was one of those lame games on the last page of the Sunday comics where you have to figure out the five differences between to the two panels. At first glance nothing seemed to have changed, but upon further inspection the differences began to pop out at him. The most obvious change of course was that she picked up all his clutter.

"It's clean," he mentioned, internally cringing at his statement of the obvious.

"Yeah, I swept, mopped, vacuumed the area rugs and the drapes, dusted, cleaned the kitchen and the bathrooms, washed the windows, and did the laundry," she replied her exhaustion coming through in her voice. "I also polished your piano. You know, you really shouldn't put your scotch glasses on there without using a coaster, you're leaving water rings in the finish."

"If I had known I was going to get free maid service, I would've had you move in years ago," he told her as he noticed that she had also completely rearranged and organized all the bookshelves, adding some of her own books as well as making room for picture frames and other knickknacks. Turning around he noticed the large abstract contemporary piece of art on the mantel. "I like that," he said gesturing towards the painting with his chin.

"Thanks," Cameron replied, pleased that he had complemented her taste in art. "I bought it at an art fair when I was still a second year pre-med student. I really couldn't afford the two hundred dollars I spent on it at the time, but I loved it so much that I was willing to live on Top Ramen and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that month."

A ghost of a smile passed across his lips when he saw the look of fond reminiscence on her own countenance as she looked at the piece, as well as his own envisioning of a nineteen year old Cameron literally starving for a piece of art. However he quickly wiped his face clean of emotion when she turned back around to face him.

"It's usually in my bedroom, but this room is so traditional that I thought it could use some contemporary art. And there is so many browns and reds in here I thought the cobalt blue would really pop," she explained.

He simply nodded his agreement and moved into his kitchen to see the differences there. It had never been truly dirty, he was a doctor after all and knew the dangers of bacteria, but it was certainly cleaner than it usually was and a quick glance into the fridge and pantry confirmed that she had also somehow found time to go grocery shopping. He also saw that she had brought over some of her smaller appliances, including an espresso machine (which he would be teasing her about later), a toaster oven, and one of those fancy multi speed mixers you always saw on cooking shows. It seemed that she planned to be cooking while she was here, another tic in the pro column of her moving in.

Without comment about the kitchen he turned around and made his way towards his study/now rumored guest room. Opening the door he saw that his desk now sat in front of the window and that indeed there was in fact a rather large futon along the far wall.

"How the hell did you get that in here by yourself?" he asked honestly, turning around to face her.

She shrugged. "I'm stronger than I look?"

"Apparently," he replied, brushing past her to leave the room and move towards the bathroom, this time for more practical reasons. He stopped and turned in the doorway when he realized that she was still following him. "You can join me if you want, but I assure you I've been going potty by myself for days now."

He smirked when she simply flushed and turned to walk away without a word. She had become harder to embarrass lately and it was good to know he could still shock her once in a while, even if she had become desensitized to him with all the time they had been spending together.

As Cameron wandered down the hallway towards the kitchen, she was inwardly thrilled that House hadn't said anything negative about the changes she made in his home. Granted she didn't really care if he had a problem with something, since she was doing him a favor by going along with all of this. And, she thought as she poured herself a glass of water from the Brita pitcher in the fridge, if he had tried to say something, she would have simply told him where to stick it. But, she had worked really hard all day and it would be hard to hide her hurt if he said something truly spiteful.

Glass of water in hand, she continued her wanderings into the living room where she took a moment to really absorb how strange it was to see so many of her belongings mingled in with House's. Anyone who entered the condo now, really would assume that she lived there. And for now, she realized as she looked at a picture of her and her brothers that was sitting on a shelf next to one of his antique medical instruments, she did.

Tired from her long day, and not paying much attention to her surroundings as she ambled, she stubbed her toe on the leg of the piano, letting the heavy glass slip from her fingers and drop to the hard wood floor. She made a futile attempt to grab it as it fell and cringed as it hit the floor shattering into dozens of small glass shards.

"Just great," she muttered under her breath as she started to bend over to pick of the larger pieces of glass.

"You've only been here for an hour and you're already breaking shit," House said from where he stood leaning against the wall in the hallway.

Not realizing he was out of the bathroom, Cameron startled, straightening up and taking a small step backwards and right onto a particularly large sliver of glass.

"Fffffuuuuuu…" she yelped, biting her lip as she held back a curse, as the shard stuck into her foot. "Freaking A!" she exclaimed as she picked up her ankle with one hand to survey the damage.

"Well that's what you get for trying to clean up broken glass barefoot. And 'freaking A?' If you are going to swear go for the gold, you know perhaps 'shit,' or 'hell,' or if you're really feeling naughty, a nice 'damn,'" he told her as she hopped around on her uninjured foot. "And stop jumping around, you're going to get glass in your other foot too and then you might let out a golly gosh jeepers and I don't know if my virgin ears could take that."

Cameron just glared and continued to hop towards him, probably heading for the bathroom, a grimace of pain on her face. Sighing, House met her half way through the living room, giving her a good firm push so that she, already unbalanced from standing on one leg, tumbled backwards over the arm of the sofa so she landed with a bounce on the couch.

"House!" she shouted indignantly.

"Stay there and don't bleed on my couch," he ordered before limping off to grab a first aid kit.

While she waited for him to come back, Cameron slid back against the arm rest and swung her legs up and over the back of the sofa to keep her foot elevated. Reentering the room, first aid kit in hand, House plopped unceremoniously on the portion of couch that she had recently vacated. He snatched her injured foot, positioning her leg so that her knee was curled into her chest, leaving her right foot hooked over the back of the sofa.

"House, what are you doing?!" Cameron exclaimed at her awkward position.

"Trust me, I'm a doctor," he quipped with an unsettling smile as he held up a large pair of tweezers and clicked them together a couple times.

"Oh lord," Cameron sighed, draping her elbow over her eyes so that she wouldn't have to watch what he was doing.

"Stop squirming!" House ordered as she flinched and recoiled for the fourth time.

"Would you just finish already," she retorted as she reached behind her head and gripped onto the arm of the sofa with both hands.

Neither of them noticed as Wilson let himself in with his new key and a couple of 'thank you for letting me move in' pizzas in his hand, just in time to hear Cameron's last statement. He froze with one hand on the door knob, not knowing just what he had walked in on, since he could see one of Cameron's feet in the air and her hands squeezing the leather armrest for dear life.

"This would be a lot easier if you would stop fighting me," House grunted.

Now Wilson couldn't actually see House, but his voice was definitely coming from the same general vicinity as Cameron's had. Suspiciously, he thought with a grimace, like he was on top of the female doctor.

"Oww, just pull it out already!" she practically pleaded, making Wilson's eyes go wide. "It hurts!"

"Well its big and it's in deep," House retorted, "did you expect it to tickle? Stop being such a wuss, you're acting like this has never happened to you before."

"Well not one this big!"

At that last statement, Wilson lost his center of gravity and his grip on the door knob, allowing it to swing into the wall with a bang as he stumbled forward. "Umm, is this a bad time?" he stuttered, now that he had drawn the attention to himself.

"Wilson!" Cameron exclaimed, attempting to unhook her other leg and sit up, but intead only succeeding in propelling herself off the couch and onto the floor.

"Got it!" House announced triumphantly, holding up the offending shard of glass in one hand and Cameron's foot in the other. "Bring that pizza over here," House said in way of a greeting, "and toss me that gauze over there would you."

Wilson did as he was told, faltering slightly as he stepped around the glass mess on the floor. "What happened?" he asked, handing House the gauze he asked for.

"This one happened," House replied, motioning to the woman who was currently splayed on the ground tenderly rubbing the part of her head that she had smacked on the floor, as he began to wrap her foot.

Wilson who had now taken in the whole picture, blushed when he realized how far off the mark he had been when he had jumped to conclusions a few moments before. He covered this by going to get House's usually neglected, but recently used, cleaning supplies out of the closet.

"Are you alright Allison?" Wilson asked, genuinely concerned as he swept up the glass.

"Yeah I'm fine," she replied grumpily from the floor. "Oww," she yelped, smacking House on the shin as he tied off the end of the gauze with a swift tug.

"Don't show any gratitude or anything," House griped as he flipped open the box and snagged a piece of meat lovers pizza.

"Don't help me off the floor or anything," Cameron returned in the same tone.

House just shrugged and handed her a slice which she took with a roll of her eyes, taking a large bite as she glared up at him from her position on the ground.

This was certainly going to be interesting…

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A/N So there we have it… I hope it was worth the wait…I've already started the next chapter which includes bed time (that part is already finished) so let me know what you thought while I get the next one done… 


	18. Good Nights

A/N So this chapter picks up exactly where the last one leaves off… so yeah… and also I need to give a huge thanks to Corrin again for telling me that this chapter does not in fact blow and that I should post it… as well as all the input and suggestions that she always gives me…

* * *

Cameron remained in her position on the floor until Wilson finished cleaning up the broken glass and brought a couple plates and paper towels for napkins from the kitchen. Sticking the roll of paper towels under one arm, he extended the other to give her a hand up. 

"Thank you Jimmy," she said pointedly, before taking a few hobbled steps towards the kitchen.

"Where do you think you are going?" House asked, ignoring the jab at him.

"To get the ranch dressing," she replied pausing to turn around and answer.

"Well get back over here and sit down and put your foot up, I'm the only one that can make limping look sexy. Wilson, earn your keep and go get the little lady some ranch," he ordered, earning him a eye roll from his friend.

"So, what's the ranch for?" he asked, bringing the whole bottle back with him from the kitchen.

"For my pizza," she replied in her best 'duh' voice as both men watched her squeeze a liberal amount onto her plate.

"You put ranch dressing on your pizza," House stated with a questioning raised eyebrow.

"Mmhmm," she replied, happily dipping one end of her crust in the dressing and taking a bite. "You can put ranch dressing on almost everything. It's basically the world's most perfect condiment."

"Is that right?" House confirmed, amused at her proclamation.

"Yup, it's great on French fries, chicken tenders, turkey sandwiches," she rambled as she took another bite of ranch covered crust. "You know, if you mix in the powdered ranch dip and some sour cream with your mashed potatoes…" she moaned lightly at the very thought of it. "To die for."

"That does sound good," Wilson admitted.

"I'll make them for dinner tomorrow," she offered. "Maybe with some fried chicken and steamed asparagus?"

"Oh, what kind of oil do you use to fry your chicken in?" Wilson asked. "Because I've found that-"

"As stimulating as this conversation is," House interrupted as he motioned to the TV where an old rerun of Scrubs was playing, "I'm trying to watch here as JD embarks on his career at a hospital full of quirky and unpredictable staffers and patients, resulting in comedy filled episodes, interspersed with dramatic, touching moments that you feel here," he said pointing to his chest.

"I'm amazed that you even recognize the touching moments," Wilson retorted.

"Jeez Jimmy, do you really think me that callous?" he asked with hurt Bambi eyes. "Besides they're fairly easy to spot, they play this music cue that goes _bah ba ba ba ba bah ba buuuuh_, and that's when you know when to _care_."

Wilson and Cameron just shared a knowing glance over House's head.

The evening passed pleasantly with careless banter and easy conversation, the whole situation seeming almost natural. At first this made House uneasy until he chalked it up to standard case of, if AB and BC, then AC. Because Wilson coming over with take out and an evening of TV happened on a regular basis. And he had become quiet comfortable with Cameron, with them spending so much time together at the hospital. And she was also clear that they were both comfortable with her at his condo, from all the mornings she had spent there waiting for him to be ready for work. And Cameron and Wilson had always been friendly so there was no awkwardness there. So perhaps it was more accurately if AB and AC and BC, then A, B, and C could all chill together on a Thursday night… or something like that.

It was a little after ten thirty when Cameron began to nod off on the couch exhausted from her long day of moving and cleaning.

"Why don't you go to bed Allison," Wilson suggested kindly. "You're making me tired just looking at you."

Cameron jolted awake, succeeding in banging her injured foot against the coffee table. She inhaled sharply in pain which masked her surprise at Wilson's suggestion. She glanced over at House who's expression was suspiciously blank, but she could sense his body tense next to hers. It was apparent that although they should have, that neither of them had really thought so far into the future as to figure out how they were going to handle bed time and sleeping arrangements.

Thankfully a large yawn kept Wilson from noticing the look the couple was exchanging. "Actually, I might go to bed too," the oncologist announced as he stood up and stretched his arms above his head. "Goodnight you two, and thanks again Allison," he said, grateful for the fact that he wouldn't be spending the next few weeks sleeping on the sofa.

The pair remained on the couch until they heard the office/guest room door click shut. It was then that House levered himself off the couch and began walking towards his bedroom. Cameron however, remained seated, not really sure what to do or what was expected of her.

"Well are you coming?" House asked over his shoulder, when he realized she wasn't moving. "You're not planning to sleep on the sofa are you?"

Getting her answer as to what House was expecting, she got off the couch and followed after him with a matching, but slighter limp as she favored her left foot.

"Sooooo…" House drawled as they both entered the room and stood at the foot of the bed, "which side do you prefer?"

Cameron was taken aback for a moment that he actually asked. "Erm… I like the right side personally."

"That's good cause you weren't getting the left," he replied quickly as he moved to the dresser and opening the drawer where he kept his nightwear, but what he found, well, was not what he was expecting.

"Oh," Cameron interjected as she opened a different drawer and handed House a pair of pajama pants, "I hope you don't mind, but I moved some of your things to clear out a couple drawers for me to use."

"I assumed, since last time I checked I didn't wear a 32B," he retorted picking up and reading the tag of a pink and black lace demi bra.

Cameron rolled her eyes and snagged her bra back from him, dropping it back in the drawer and closing it with her hip. His antics lightened the tension partially, but it only lasted until he spoke again.

"You can use the bathroom to change and stuff," he told her, awkward in his attempts to be a gentleman.

Cameron nodded quickly before grabbing her PJs and disappearing into the attached master bath. She went through her nightly cleansing and moisturizing routine with mechanical efficiency, trying not to dwell on the fact that she was doing it in her boss's bathroom. She was so busy distracting herself from this fact that she nearly jumped out of her skin when there was a gentle knock on the door. She cracked open the door to see House, not that she was expecting anyone else, already changed into the pajama pants she handed him and an old Pink Floyd shirt.

"I uh, need to…" he said motioning to the toothbrush in her hand.

"Oh, right, come on in," she replied opening the door all the way and stepping aside, inwardly cringing that she had just invited the man into his own bathroom.

House opened up the medicine cabinet and cursed lightly when he realized that his tube of toothpaste was effectually dead. He had meant to pick up some more on the way home, but with everything that had happened, it had slipped his mind.

"Here," Cameron said lightly as she reached into her toiletry bag and pulled out an identical, but full tube of Crest Whitening toothpaste in Cinnamon Rush.

He raised a questioning eyebrow at the matching tube of paste.

"What?" she asked uncomfortable under his gaze. "It's not like I follow you around the grocery store. I like cinnamon flavored stuff. I chew Big Red and eat Hot Tamales too. Is that a problem?"

"I prefer Red Hots myself, but then again there's no accounting for taste," he returned, amused at her defensiveness, "I just thought you might have a different reason for buying this particular brand of toothpaste that has nothing to do with your stalker-like tendencies."

"Well then, why else would I buy it besides the fact I like the taste?" she asked, not really sure she wanted to hear his answer.

"I just assumed that you were conned into it by the guy who yells bam every time he brushes," he replied simply.

"You mean those commercials with Emeril? Why would that make a difference?"

"Well you are the woman who puts ranch dressing on her pizza," he replied as if that explained it all.

"What is that supposed to mean? And besides," she grumbled when he simply shrugged, "who buys toothpaste based on the commercial?"

"Who doesn't?"

And with that he plucked the tube from her after throwing his old one in the trash, squeezing some of the red paste on to his toothbrush and then on hers when she held it out to him in a silent request. After their toothpaste banter, they fell back into the awkward silence as they both brushed their teeth, stealing quick glances at each other in the mirror.

House was the first to leave the bathroom, Cameron only a few steps behind as they made their way to their predetermined sides of the bed. He didn't wait to throw back the covers and plop down onto the bed and she only hesitated for a moment before lifting a corner of the comforter and sliding in between the sheets.

"Night House," she said tentatively pulling the blankets up to her chin, unconsciously switching back to old formalities.

"Night Cameron," he replied gruffly, displaying his discomfiture as he too used her last name.

The pair stared at the ceiling, both suddenly wide awake and all too aware of the warm body only a matter of inches away. Neither of them would have been able to tell you how long they lay like that, it felt like hours but was probably closer to twenty minutes before Cameron let out a lady like little snort. He wasn't going to comment on it until she gave a stilted sort of giggle.

"What?" he asked tiredly.

"This," she replied giggling for real this time.

"What about it?"

"This is ridiculous," she continued, her giggle turning into an honest laugh. "How the hell did we end up in this situation? I mean, we are lying in bed together practically afraid to breathe. I mean, I can honestly say that I haven't felt this awkward since before I got my braces off."

"Yeah, this isn't how I was expecting they day to end when I woke up this morning either," he agreed with rare honesty as he too started to chuckle.

Cameron rolled over so that she was facing House and propped herself up on one arm and he pushed himself up against his pillows a bit so that they were at the same level.

"But it shouldn't have to be this weird. I mean we're two mature adults…" she paused as she thought about what she just said. "Well, we're two adults," she amended, drawing another chuckle from House, "and after everything these past couple weeks, well, I would consider ourselves friends at this point. Wouldn't you say?"

House considered this for a moment. They had spent an inordinate amount of time together in the past month, and they hadn't killed each other yet. He also was pleasantly surprised to admit that he wasn't sick of her yet, and quite to the contrary even found himself increasingly enjoying her company as they spent more time together. He couldn't even spend as much time with Wilson as he had been spending with her without wanting to kill him, and he considered the other man to be his best, well only, friend. So yeah, he supposed Cameron could be considered a friend. He pondered this for another moment, he wasn't sure the last time he had actually had two friends to choose from, and he had to admit, that she smelled better than Wilson.

"Yeah, I guess we are friends," he said slowly when he realized she was waiting for a response, to surprised by this new discovery to reply with any usual snark.

"Good, then there is no reason for this to be so awkward, this is a big bed, there is no reason for this to be so hard. Because if things stay like this, I'm going to have a stroke from all the tension," she said only half jokingly. "Alright?"

"Alright," he agreed, thankful she had said it so he didn't have to. "Just stay on your side, I don't want you infecting me with your girl cooties."

Cameron rolled her eyes, but was clearly pleased as she slid back down under the covers and turned on her side so that she was facing the wall, her back to House.

"Night Greg," she said pulling the covers up over her shoulders, "sleep well."

"Night Allison."

She hadn't been expecting a response so she was pleasantly surprised when he spoke and as a result drifted off to sleep with a gentle smile on her face.

* * *

A/N Okay… there we have it… I hope you enjoyed it cause it's the last one for a little bit cause these next few days I'm going to have no time to write since I have the last of my finals and then I have to pack up and move back home for the summer and then I plan to go into a three day coma and recover from the semester…. But starting next week I'll have lots of time to write so if you all hang with me there will hopefully be plenty of updates to look forward too… so let me know what you thought! 


	19. Lead To Good Mornings

A/N I'm baaaack! Sorry I was MIA for so long, but after my "coma" this chapter decided that it just didn't want to be written even though it had been planned for weeks…. It is the longest chapter to date by far so maybe that will help make up for the wait? But regardless, now its done and I'm going to stop rambling and let you all read it….

* * *

Allison Cameron woke up disoriented. As she slowly came into consciousness, even thought the alarm had yet to go off, she couldn't figure out why her pillow was so hard and why it felt suspiciously like a jersey knit against her cheek instead of the typical cool cotton. As she became more alert she wondered why her pillow had a heart beat, and that was when she realized she wasn't laying on a pillow at all. Her whole body tensed as she became all to aware that she was currently snuggled up to the antithesis of a great big teddy bear. 

She slowly and carefully lifted her head and turned to look at the thankfully still sleeping face of her boss. She quickly assessed the situation and considered the best way to move back over to her designated side of the bed without waking him up. She was pressed against the left side of his body with her leg nestled in between his and her arm flopped across his stomach as she used his chest as a pillow. It would have been fairly simple to extricate herself from this position if it was not for his arm draped over her shoulders hugging her to him.

She slowly began to slide down the bed hoping that she could just duck underneath his arm and be back on her side of the bed before the alarm went off in - she glanced at the alarm clock - four minutes.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Greg House woke up disoriented. He jolted from his sleep when he sensed an unfamiliar heaviness on his chest. When his eyes flew open he was surprised to see an expanse of brunette hair splayed across his torso. Hair that he was alarmed to realize belonged to his one and only female subordinate. Although he reasoned in his semi conscious state, it was less alarming than if he had awoken to find himself snuggling with Chase.

His first inclination was to give her a good hard shove towards her side of the bed, but then he realized he didn't really want to since he was all warm and comfortable with her tucked against the side of his body with his own arm keeping her in place. He shifted uneasily at this insight, uncomfortable with the fact that he had actually condoned a position that could be construed as cuddling, even if it was restricted to the confines of his own mind.

However, he didn't have long to dwell on this since his fidgeting disturbed Cameron's sleep and he felt her begin to stir as she too woke up. Panicking at the idea of being found awake and voluntarily in this position he did what anyone would have done and… closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.

He had to carefully regulate his breathing to make sure it remained slow and steady as she rubbed her cheek against his shirt. He could actually sense the exact moment she realized what she was doing and had to hold in a smirk as he felt her whole body tense. Apparently she was just as uncomfortable with their shifting over the night as he was and somehow this made him feel better about the whole situation. So when he felt Cameron begin to slide down his body, he felt enough like himself to properly embarrass her.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked popping one eye open as she looked up at him with wide panicked eyes.

"I was umm… I mean…" she stuttered, embarrassed at being caught.

"I see someone has personal boundary issues, well I suppose I cant really blame you. I know that you just cant get enough of me. But what did I say about staying on your own side and cooties?" he playfully accused.

Luckily for Cameron she never needed to come up with a reply since the alarm chose that moment to start blaring, causing House to shift his attention to the clock to turn it off, giving her ample time to escape his clutches and roll out of bed.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

James Wilson woke up disoriented. When he was awoken by the alarm on his cell phone it took him several minutes to figure out that he was not in his bed at home, nor was he on House's couch, but he was on a rather comfortable futon, as far as futons went, in House's office. He would have to thank Allison again later, he knew his back certainly did.

But this story isn't really about him so we'll just move on …

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"I'm going to take a shower," Cameron announced, walking away from him so that he wouldn't see the blush rising in her cheeks.

Bumping into the chair against the wall on her way to the bathroom she heard the familiar rattle of his pills in the jeans that were draped across the back. Without a second thought she retrieved them and tossed the bottle to him before quickly stealing into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her.

She turned on the hot water and quickly stripped off her pajamas and the bandage on her injured foot before stepping into the steaming shower. Once inside she took a moment to look around. She had been so busy the day before just cleaning and setting things up that she hadn't really been able to take full advantage of the prime snooping opportunity.

Ignoring the fact of how strange it was to even be in House's shower, it was even more bizarre to see her own multitude of shower supplies mingling with his bottle of Head and Shoulders shampoo and his bar of Lever soap. Snatching her own bottle of shampoo off the shower shelf, she poured a liberal amount into her hand and began lathering up her hair, inhaling deeply to take full advantage of its invigorating qualities as it made her scalp tingle.

Going through her normal morning routine helped her re-center herself after her distressing morning of waking up to find herself cuddling with her boss. Not that it was the cuddling that had been so bad, that had actually been kinda nice. It was the whole being _caught _by the boss who she was using as a pillow that was distressing.

You're heart may freeze, or it can burn  
The pain will ease, and I can learn  
There is no future, there is no past  
I live this moment as my last

But, she realized while she sang absently to herself while rinsing her hair, he had obviously been awake longer than she had thought, and while he had made a comment, after all that what he does best, he didn't push her off the bed either so that had to count for something.

There's only us, there's only this  
Forget regret, or life is yours to miss  
No other road, no other way  
No day but today

When she caught herself musing, she quickly finished up the rest of her shower before she used up all the hot water. Stepping out of the shower she toweled herself off before slipping into her bath robe and wrapping her hair up turban style to keep it from dripping. Wiping a portion of the mirror of with her sleeve to clear the steam, she leaned in to inspect for any zits or imperfections. Finding her reflection satisfactory she opened the medicine cabinet to retrieve the tooth paste.

However, while the cabinet door was open she couldn't help but notice the new stick of Old Spice deodorant next to the one that was nearly empty. Plucking the new one off the shelf she popped off the cap and breathed in deeply, inhaling the manly smell. While she would never admit it, she had loved the smell of Old Spice since high school and she had been able to correctly identify it on House the first time he had inappropriately invaded her personal space years ago when she first started working for him.

Taking one last smell, she put the deodorant back with a smile and went back to brushing her teeth so she could give House his turn in the bathroom.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

House caught the bottle that she tossed to him, swallowing one gratefully having not even noticed the regular ache in his leg until Cameron's warmth beside him disappeared as she escaped into the bathroom. As he lay in bed dozing as he waited for the Vicodin to kick in, he perked up when he heard something coming from the bathroom.

Was Cameron… singing?

There's only us, only tonight  
We must let go to know what's right  
No other course, no other way  
No day today

He listened harder until he was sure that yes, he was definitely hearing her sing Mimi's part in the song Another Day from Rent. It had started out softly, but it was becoming more clear by the minute. And it wasn't half bad either. He wasn't about to go sign her up for American Idol, but it wasn't exactly a hardship to listen to her either. In fact it was kinda nice.

I cant control, my destiny  
I trust my soul, my only goal  
Is just to be

He smirked at the irony of wholesome little Allison Cameron choosing a song where the character who sings it is a heroin addicted stripper with AIDS, at least until he remembered her own AIDS scare and her corresponding Meth trip. It was still ironic, just not the funny kind anymore.

There's only now, there's only here  
Give into love, or live in fear  
No other path, no other way  
No day but today  
No day but today  
No day but today…

The end of the song corresponded with the water shutting off and it was only a few more minutes before she reappeared in the bedroom wrapped in a fluffy white terrycloth robe with a matching towel piled on top of her head.

"I left you hot water," she mentioned, her face pink and flushed from the aforementioned hot water.

"Thanks," he replied swinging his legs off the bed and shuffling sleepily over to the bathroom while she picked out what to wear that day.

He turned on the hot water and went to grab one of his old maroon towels out of the cupboard, but spotted an extra one of Cameron fluffy white ones and grabbed that instead. Draping the towel over the shower door where it wouldn't get wet, he stepped into the shower, momentarily appalled when he saw that his shampoo and soap had apparently procreated and multiplied over night. But then he realized that perhaps this was to his advantage and he could finally find out what made that woman smell so damn good.

He began by plucking her shampoo off the shelf. Not recognizing the bottle he assumed that it was one of those brands that could only be found at actual beauty supply stores, or whatever they were called. A glance at the price sticker that she had never removed confirmed that she had indeed spent twenty two dollars on an eight ounce bottle. He flicked open the cap and took a big whiff, his eyes widening when he felt it all the way down in his chest. He quickly read the ingredients to confirm what he had already inferred, that it contained both menthol and peppermint extract. Invigorating shampoo indeed. But while it did have a fresh, almost minty, smell, it wasn't what he was looking for, so he put the bottle back.

He then moved onto her conditioner, which was the same expensive brand, although he did enjoy the way her hair felt so he didn't consider it over priced. Next he turned his attention to her 'Satsuma' body wash, which was just a fancy word for citrus, her apricot scrub, and her shaving cream in 'raspberry rain'. All of them smelled good, but he still hadn't found _it_.

Not realizing how long he had been sampling scents, he was surprised when the water began to cool, so he quickly washed himself, and turned off the water. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he walked over to the vanity and began going through a collection of lotions that she stored in a basket under the sink.

Jergens Cherry and Almond. Good but no.

Pomegranate shimmer lotion. Nope.

Chocolate strawberry. Practically good enough to eat, but still not it.

Cucumber melon. Negative.

Spiced apple massage oil? That one he wasn't expecting, but while it intrigued him, it wasn't the scent he was looking for.

After anther few minutes going through the whole basket, the only conclusions he could come to were that she had far to many lotions and that it was a miracle that the woman didn't walk around smelling like a fruit salad.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Once House had retreated into the bathroom, Cameron quickly picked out a pair of tan slacks and a pink, white and tan striped button down, with a matching pair of stiletto pumps. She dressed quickly, and applied the light amount of makeup she normally wore to work and put some product in her hair and running a brush through it, deciding to let it air dry to its natural wavy curl. Leaving the shoes on the floor by the foot of the bed to put on right before they left for work, she left the bedroom as she heard the shower water shut off, knowing House would be out soon.

Walking down the hall towards the kitchen, she found that her foot was still sore, but bearably so. Entering the kitchen she found Wilson standing at the stove having gotten up and showered long before she and House had even woken up.

"Good morning, did you sleep alright?" she asked walking over to the coffee maker to start a pot.

"Morning Allison, and yes I did, much better than if I had spent the night on the couch so thank you very much for that," he replied with a grin. "I was going to make some oatmeal, would you like some?"

"Um, no thanks," she replied wrinkling her nose slightly as she poured herself a mug of the freshly brewed coffee, "I'm not much of an oatmeal person."

"I could make something else," he offered as she opened the fridge.

"Oh no, its fine," she replied quickly, pulling a Tupperware container out of the fridge, "I was planning on having this anyways."

"You're having cold pizza for breakfast?" Wilson asked, raising an eyebrow as he watched her take a big bite.

"Mhmm, it doesn't get much better than this," she replied with a smile as she hopped up onto the island so she was sitting on the counter.

"I haven't done that since college, I don't even know if my stomach could handle that anymore," Wilson admitted.

She simply shrugged taking a sip of her coffee before taking another large bite of pizza.

"And I know it couldn't handle that," he added, turning a little green at the very thought, drawing a chuckle from Cameron, who continued with her meal happily.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

After deciding that it had to be the subtle layering of all these scents in conjunction with what was naturally her that made Cameron smell so good all the time, House left the bathroom to find the bedroom deserted. It didn't take him long to get dressed in his normal work attire of jeans, t-shirt, button down, and blazer, and it wasn't until he was sliding on his shoes that he noticed the pair of heels lying near the foot of the bed. Scooping them up in one hand he went to find Cameron.

"You don't actually think you are wearing these shoes today do you?" House announced accusingly as he entered the kitchen.

Cameron and Wilson both looked up from where they were sitting at the island in surprise.

"Um, yeah I was," she replied, confused at House's reaction to her innocent pair of pumps. "Although for some reason you seem to have a problem with that. I mean I wasn't aware you wanted to borrow them today, or I would have chosen another pair. However, I don't think they're your size."

"Do you or do you not remember me digging a hunk of glass out of your foot last night?" he asked, ignoring her joke.

"Yes, I do seem to recall that, but that doesn't mean I cant wear those shoes. My foot doesn't even hurt anymore."

House crossed over to where she was sitting on the island, grabbed her ankle, and flicked the bottom of her foot sharply.

"OW!" she exclaimed, clutching her foot.

"Oh yeah, I believe you. You're foot is completely better," he said sarcastically. "You should really try to walk around in four inch heels all day."

"I'll manage," she replied.

"No you wont. As your doctor-"

"You're not allowed to be my doctor," she interjected. "You're my husband, it's a conflict of interest."

"I'm sure that my interests are not conflicted," he retorted, changing tactics regardless. "Then as your boss I wont have you limping around all day, I wont have you trying to show me up. Only one limp allowed per department. I'm sure Cuddy has that written in your contract somewhere."

"Ah yes, Section IV, Clause 2," Wilson joked as he watched the couple bicker while he ate.

"Well what do you want me to do?" she asked shrugging her shoulder. "I don't have any work appropriate shoes that aren't heels."

"I don't believe that," House retorted doubtfully. "I've seen the abundance of shoes in that closet. I'll find you shoes to wear."

And with that, House turned back around and walked purposefully back into the bedroom.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Greg!" Cameron called after him hopping of the island, carefully landing on her left foot since her right was now throbbing from where he hit the sore spot.

She hurried after him not trusting him to pick out a pair of shoes. Entering the bedroom she was right, as she found him on his hands on knees digging through her piles of shoes, which had been in neat uniform rows until a few moments ago.

"Don't you have a pair of running shoes in here?" he asked, his voice muffled by the closet

"I'm not wearing my running shoes to work. You and Forman may do that, but I'll pass," she told him as he pulled out a pair of Nike Shox identical to the ones he was currently wearing except hers were white and baby blue, to his black and grey. "What?" she asked defensively as he turned to look at her with a questioningly raised brow. "They're good shoes."

She snatched the sneakers from his hand and he went back to searching through her collection.

"What about these?" House asked pulling out a pair of low top converse.

"Okay, if I didn't want to wear matching shoes with you and Forman, I _really_ don't want to match you and _Chase_," Cameron said crossing her arms in front of her, hugging the running shoes to her chest.

This seemed like a valid enough reason for House and he tossed the shoes back into the closet.

"Are these acceptable?" he asked showing her a pair of black ballet flats.

"Fine," she said, the frustration clear in her tone. "But now I hope you realize I'm going to have to change and I have nothing to wear."

"Are we looking at different closets?" he retorted.

"I cant wear any of that now," she said throwing her hands up in the air.

"Do I want to know why?" House asked, amused by the aggravation this was clearly causing her.

"Because all my work slacks are way too long to wear with flats and they are far to expensive to be walking around on the hems all day," she explained.

"Why would you buy all you're pants to long?" he questioned. "Now that's just silly."

"Because I always wear heels!"

"Then wear a skirt," he replied simply, ignoring her outburst.

"I don't have any!"

"Now I know that's a lie."

"I don't have any here," she amended. "I only brought a couple weeks worth of clothes and I didn't bring any skirts since I haven't been in the mood to wear them lately." She moved over the bed and sat down heavily on the edge burying her face in her hands. "This is a nightmare."

"Just wear jeans," he finally told her, earning himself a deadly glare. "Or maybe I'll just wait in the living room for you to figure it out."

Cameron sighed heavily as she heard his distinctive gait get further and further away. She knew she was stressing more than was really necessary, but she figured it was just the tension from the past 24 hours really hitting her. She gave one more small sigh before she tried to figure out a work appropriate outfit from the limited recourses she had here.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Allison, were late, Wilson left ten minutes ago!" House called as he waited for her in front of the TV. "Not that I really care, but I know how important getting that perfect attendance award from the principal is to you."

"I'm coming, I'm coming," she muttered as she finally reentered the living room.

House looked up, curious to see her new look that took so long. She was wearing a pair of black denim skinny jeans (he supposed black was more acceptable than standard blue jeans), a black and white polka dot silk blouse with little puffy cap sleeves, a wide black patent leather belt cinched around her waist and of course the flats that he had picked out. She had also changed her makeup to something a little darker and more noticeable than what she normally wore and put her hair up into a severe French twist, with her bangs bluntly across her forehead instead of swept off to the side. It was certainly different than what she normally wore to work, much less conservative business attire and far more young and trendy. He liked.

"You look hot," he complemented honestly.

"I look like I'm 23 and going out to dinner, not like I'm a doctor capable of saving lives," she grumbled as she gathered up her things so they can leave.

"And its hot," he repeated, agreeing with her assessment. "You should dress like that everyday."

"Can we just go please?" she asked softening slightly at his praise. "And were taking a car, I'm not putting a helmet over this hairdo."

"I wouldn't dream of asking you too," he replied smoothly as he opened the front door and motioning for her to go first. He paused before following her out to the car, taking a moment to appreciate exactly what those jeans did for her derrière.

"And stop staring at my ass," she called over her shoulder, not even turning around to confirm that was what he was doing.

Yes, she should definitely dress like that everyday.

* * *

A/N And there it is… finally… for some reason this was a bear to write so you'll have to tell me what you all thought of it… some good news though, was that just because I was having issues with this chapter doesn't mean I wasn't working on the story at all… the next chapter is about 80 percent done so that should also be up shortly, perhaps even by tomorrow night… so let me know what you thought! 


	20. And All That Jazz

A/N Here is the next chapter… I hope this time the wait wasn't unbearable… hehe… also I have to admit that I did just so one last read through, it is almost four thirty in the morning so I apologize if I missed anything…

* * *

House sat staring at his piano while Cameron and Wilson worked together to make dinner, his fingers absolutely itching to dance across the keys. He was used to playing every night, but ever since his condo became a boarding house a week and a half ago, he hadn't played once. 

For the most part, he surprisingly found that he didn't even really mind loosing his personal space and alone time. In fact, all three of them had fallen into a comfortable routine and it seemed almost natural for the three of them to be living together, and it seemed like the arrangement had been going on for much longer than it had.

He and Cameron would wake up much like they had the first morning, although not always in quite that same position. For example the second morning, he had woken up to find that he had been the one to shift in the night as he was on her side of the bed spooning up against her back as they shared her pillow. And of course she had to throw his comment about personal space back in his face and asked who was giving cooties to who now. This meant that he hadn't really been able to say anything when they woke up cuddling the third morning, or the fourth, or every morning thereafter.

To be honest, this recurring trend confused him since he had never been much of a 'spooner' when he was with Stacy or any of his previous girlfriends, he liked his space when he slept, even after sex. But he found himself sleeping better than he had in years and his leg was bothering him less in the morning, which he attributed to her body heat keeping the muscles in his leg more relaxed (at least that was his story and he was sticking to it). So once they got past the awkwardness of waking up like that every morning, and as long as she wasn't complaining about it, he wasn't going to mention it and so he accepted it and put it out of his mind, complacent with the status quo.

Once they woke up, Cameron would take the first shower while he either dozed for that extra half an hour or listened to her sing, usually a little of both. As it turned out, Cameron always sang while in the shower, either show tunes or musicals. House was actually impressed with her repertoire as she had yet to repeat a song and while some of her picks were from well known shows and contemporary movies, others were from more obscure shows and some of the movies were far before even his time. A part of him wanted to tease her for her daily concert, but the other part of him knew that if he did she would become self-conscious and would stop, and he found that he rather enjoyed it, so for once he decided to keep his mouth shut.

While she finished getting ready, he would take a shower. Once Cameron had executed the various rituals that made her look like a competent professional, and House would shower and dress, not caring if he looked competent or professional, they would both go out into the kitchen. At some point Cameron had been elected barista, and would make everyone's first cup of coffee for the day while Wilson would make breakfast for anyone who wanted it. The three doctors would then sit at the table coffee and food at hand, and they would split the paper, Wilson took sports and business, Cameron took the news and the calendar sections, and House would read, what else but the comics and then did the crossword puzzle so quickly it would make Chase cry, while they chatted before it was time to leave.

Then all three of them were off to work in any number of combinations. Sometimes all together, sometimes all separately, sometimes Wilson and Cameron would drive in together while House took the bike, sometime House and Wilson would drive in together while Cameron drove by herself. But most of the time House and Cameron would take the bike while Wilson drove himself in. Because while she didn't seem to want to admit it, it was clear to House that Cameron dug the motorcycle.

At work, things continued in the same vein as they had been going the past month and a half, until it was time to go home when they would either leave the way the came, or mix it up depending on who left when. Then for dinner either Wilson or Cameron would cook, or most of the time if they were both home they would cook together while House sat and watched TV. Well except for on Sunday, when Cameron declared that they were ordering Chinese and watching a movie.

So all in all, House was fairly satisfied with the strange turn his life had taken. Except for not being able to play his piano.

He wandered over to the bench and sat down lightly and let his hands rest softly on the keys. He lightly fingered the notes of one of his favorites, but it wasn't the same. He sighed to himself as he let his hands fall impotently into his lap. He hated playing for people, but then he considered the fact that if there were two people that he minded the least hearing him play, it would probably be the two people that were currently making chicken fettuccini alfredo in the kitchen.

He played a few chords of Chopin before making an abrupt change in tone. He wanted to conduct an experiment. Chicago had been Cameron's show tune of choice that morning and he was curious to see what she would do with a little backing.

As he began the rather long intro, he could see he shoulders tense in the kitchen as she stirred the heating sauce. He could tell that she was embarrassed that he had obviously been able to hear her performance that morning. But the longer he played the more she relaxed as she began to sway along to the music. As he got closer to her cue he became even more curious to she if she would actually sing.

He was surprised when she actually began singing even though it was softly and tentatively. Wilson was surprised as well, he didn't even know if she could carry a tune let alone sing, never having been privy to her morning performances.

"Come on babe why don't we paint the town?  
And all that Jazz  
I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down  
And all that jazz

"Start the car I know a whoopee spot  
Where the gin is cold but the piano's hot  
It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl  
And all  
That  
Jazz

But as the song progressed her voice became stronger.

"So lick your hair and wear your buckle shoes  
And all that Jazz  
I hear that Father Dip is gonna blow the blues  
And all that Jazz

"Hold on, hon we're gonna bunny hug  
I bought some aspirin down at United Drug  
In case you shake apart and want a brand new start  
To do that-  
Jazz

From his spot at the piano, House could see that she was really starting to get into the song as she was now dancing in place while she stirred.

By this time Wilson had stopped cutting up the chicken and was just enjoying the show.

"Oh, you're gonna see your sheba shimmy shake  
And all that jazz  
Oh, she's gonna shimmy 'till her garters break  
And all that jazz

"Show her where to park her girdle  
Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle  
If she'd hear her baby's queer  
For all that jazz

"And all that jazz

She was now belting out the song and enjoying herself thoroughly.

"Come on babe why don't we paint the town?  
And all that jazz  
I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down  
And all that jazz

"Start the car I know a whoopee spot  
Where the gin is cold but the piano's hot  
It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl  
And all that-  
jazz

"No, I'm no one's wife but,  
Oh, I love my life  
And all that Jazz!"

As the song ended, she took a deep breath and blushed deeply as Wilson applauded.

"Why didn't you ever mention that you can sing?" Wilson asked as he popped the garlic bread into the oven.

"Because I haven't done it since high school," Cameron replied dismissively as she pulled dishes out of the cupboard so she could set the table.

"Except in the shower," House called from the other room.

Cameron blushed harder at his statement, but didn't reply to it, instead continuing the conversation with the oncologist. "I was really into musical theater as a kid."

"You're really good," Wilson complemented. "How did you get into that?"

"Well it started out when my grandfather died when I was four. My grandmother was living all by herself so my mom would take me over there every Sunday after church to keep her company. While they visited they would set me up to watch a movie, but all she had was musicals so I would watch those. I watched them so much I learned all the songs and surprised my mom and grandma when I started singing along to them. I started doing regional theater when I was six when I was Gretel in Sound Of Music and kept doing it until I graduated high school."

"What else where you in?" Wilson asked, completely intrigued by this new development in his friends personality.

Cameron puffed out her cheeks as she exhaled as she thought about his question. "When I was little I was basically the go to kid when the college would put on something where they needed a little girl. I did a bunch of things that you never would have heard of. But lets see, at the college and in regional theater, I played the lead in Annie when I was nine, I was Young Cosette in Les Miz when I was seven. I was in Bye Bye Birdie, Little Shop of Horrors, I was Dorothy in Wizard of Oz when I was 16. Then in high school, I was Wendy in Peter Pan my freshman year, I was in The Sound Of Music again except this time I was Maria my sophomore year, I was Eliza in My Fair Lady junior year, and then senior year I was in Okalahoma."

"Wow, that's quite the resume," Wilson laughed. "Who were you in Okalahoma, Laurey?"

Cameron laughed, "No, I was Ado Annie."

"Who did you piss off?" House, who had been silently absorbing the conversation, asked.

"What do you mean?" Cameron asked.

"Well you were the lead your first three years, which I'm sure pissed the upperclassmen off, but your Senior year you stepped down to a supporting role. So, who did you piss off?" he clarified.

"Well, for your information," she replied, "I was offered Laurey, but I turned it down. I was taking four AP classes my senior year and was Captain of the girls track team, I didn't have time to be the lead of the spring musical too. I told our drama teacher that I was either going to play Annie or I wasn't doing the play, so he rearranged the cast."

"Over achiever much?" House snarked, "Were you also student body president, emcee of all the pep rallies, and homecoming queen?"

"Like you weren't an over achiever too," she shot back.

"No, actually, I wasn't," House replied. "I graduated high school with a 2.5 GPA. I used to calculate how much work I had to do to keep that 2.5 since that was my high schools minimum requirement to play sports and I wanted to play lacrosse. I also ditched class on a regular basis and spent a great deal of my spare time in detention."

"Then how the hell did you get into John Hopkins?" Cameron asked with honest curiosity.

"I wrote a hell of an admissions essay and had a glowing letter of recommendation from my biology teacher since it was the one class I did attend. Oh, and the 1600 on my SATs didn't hurt either."

"And I was proud of my 1430," she replied, impressed but not really surprised to find out that he had gotten a perfect score on his SATs.

"How do you think I feel," Wilson added, "I got a 1280."

"Well we cant all be perfect," House mentioned flippantly.

Wilson rolled his eyes before changing the subject, turning the attention back to Cameron. "So, how about another song?"

"Naw, I couldn't."

"Come on," he persuaded.

"Only if Greg plays," Cameron stipulated, sure that he would refuse.

"Play?" House called still sitting at the piano. "What are we playing? Oh, I know! Lets play twister. Naked twister. Jimmy can go out for a jar of olives. I might have a problem you know since I'm a cripple and all, but if I should happen to fall on top of you, consider it foreplay?"

"House," Cameron said warningly, reverting back to his last name.

"Lets see if you know this one," House challenged, switching gears abruptly, surprising himself as well as her at how readily he agreed to play for her. He only dwelled on the fact that he enjoyed listening to her sing for a moment before pushing it to the back of his mind.

"Um, sure," she accepted as he began playing the intro, laughing aloud when she recognized which song it was.

Why wasn't she more surprised that he would know this song?

Cameron couldn't help but smile as she sang, lounging against the piano. Only House would pick a song written for stripping.

"Let me do a few tricks  
Some old and then some new tricks  
I'm very versatile

She sauntered around the piano until she was standing behind House and placed her hands on his shoulders slowly inching them down his chest until her whole body was pressed up against his back.

"And if you're real good  
I'll make you feel good  
I want your spirits to climb

House smirked openly at her antics until she slipped her hands beneath his t-shirt and scratched her fingernails lightly against the sensitive skin of his lower stomach causing him to shudder and miss a note

"So let me entertain you  
And we'll have a real good time, yes sir  
We'll have a real good time

As he launched into the bridge, he felt her disappear from behind him and saw her reappear in front of him as she walked, no, she was definitely strutting, towards Wilson who was leaning against the back of the couch, with a rather devious smile on her face.

"Take something off," House called playfully as he watched her. "A glove, give em a glove!"

Cameron giggled as she did indeed take the pot holder she was holding and tossed it to Wilson who caught it easily and also chuckled. She continued to advance on the oncologist until she was right in front of him. This time it was Cameron's turn to smirk as she saw Wilson give a nervous little swallow, but this didn't stop her from playing with him as she took the dish towel that was draped over her shoulder and slid it around his neck as she picked up her cue.

"Let me entertain you  
And we'll have a real good time, yes sir  
We'll have a real good time!"

"Whoa Allison, that was… really good," Wilson said once he had gotten over his momentary embarrassment. "You're singing I mean."

"Thanks," she replied, her face reddening again in sudden fit of self-consciousness as she backed away from Wilson towards the piano.

"Who'd a thunk we had our very own Gypsy Rose," House commented as he rested his hands in his lap.

"Eh," Cameron shrugged, her own playfulness returning, "that was nothing."

"So if that was nothing, when do I get to see something?" House asked intrigued.

"Maybe after dinner," she replied slyly. "If you're good."

House just raised an eyebrow in response as they're eyes locked for a long moment.

"So what shall we order for dinner, Mexican or Chinese?" he said breaking their gaze as he spoke suddenly.

"What are you talking about?" Cameron asked, thrown by the switch of topic. "We're having pasta, that's Italian."

"We _were _having pasta," House corrected, motioning towards the kitchen with his head.

Cameron followed his gaze and ran towards the kitchen snatching the oven mitt from Wilson on the way. The water was completely boiling over the pot and all over the stove as she quickly turned off the heat she also threw open the oven door to be greeted by a cloud of smoke as she pulled the garlic toast out of the oven. Once the smoke had cleared and the bubbles had died down she looked in the pot to see that the pasta had turned into a gummy mess and saw the garlic toast now resembled hockey pucks.

"So," she began as she turned around to face the two men who were both still in the living room, "what are we in the mood for, Mexican or Chinese?"

* * *

A/N First thing I have to do is give a huge thanks to Cornorama for putting up with me while I waffled back and forth and was wholly indecisive about what songs/musicals to pick for this chapter while she very patiently gave me suggestions, and also bugging me to finish this chapter while I really wanted to jump ahead and work on future chapters… I hope you enjoyed this chapter, so let me know what you thought… I'm personally really happy with the way the next chapter turned out (I just need to revise it) so that should be up soon… 


	21. Swinging In The Rain

A/N The idea for this came to me while I was in the shower one night at like 4 in the morning, I had just meant to write down the idea quickly before I went to sleep and the next thing I knew the sun was coming up and it was done….its very rare that I actually really happen to enjoy rereading a chapter once I've written and revised it, but I happen to still really like this chapter and I hope you do too, it's a nice and long one… so here it is….

* * *

House woke up when a huge burst of thunder rumbled through the sky strong enough to make the windows shake. A chill went through his body making him shiver and he unthinkingly reached out for Cameron so that he could hold her close and share body heat. However, he only found empty bed space next to him which was probably why he was so cold. That, he thought as he opened his eyes to confirm what he already knew, or the fact that the window was wide open. 

He swung his legs out of bed and shuffle limped over to the window to close it figuring that it was probably blown open by a strong gust of wind from the thunderstorm that was currently beating down outside. He was about to shut the window and go back to bed when something outside caught his eye.

Apparently Cameron was not just in the bathroom as he had assumed, because there before his eyes, on the swing one of the neighbors had built for their kids, underneath the old oak tree, as if it was a warm summer afternoon and not a rainy October night, was Allison Cameron.

"What the hell are you doing out there!" he hollered out the open window.

"Leading a conga line while I polish my nails," she called back as she pumped her legs to take her higher.

"Alright, it was a stupid question," he admitted. "But perhaps the better question would be why did you decide that one in the morning, in the middle of a thunderstorm would be a good time to have a go on the swing?"

"Do you know a better time?" she questioned.

"Um, how about not in the middle of a night during a downpour," he retorted.

"A little rain never hurt anybody," she replied. "Why don't you come out here and join me?" she asked as she leaned back so the rain would hit her face as she swung.

"Uh, because I don't feel like getting soaked," he said, even as he was getting wet from standing in the window.

"You're not made of brown sugar, you're not going to melt," she teased.

"No, that's the Wicked Witch of the West, less commonly known by her alias, the Dean of Medicine," he returned, never missing an opportunity to take a dig at Cuddy, even if she wasn't there.

"So are you coming out or not?" Cameron asked, watching him in the window as she swung back and forth.

"Not," he said simply.

"Wimp," she challenged.

"No, I just don't want to get hit by lighting," he replied not taking the bait, as the sky did indeed light up with a flash.

"You're not going to get hit by lightening," she assured him as the corresponding thunder rolled in.

"How do you know? And shouldn't you be more worried about that, you're the one who is on a swing dangling from a very large tree," House pointed out.

"There is a lightning rod on top of the bank down the street since it's the tallest building around," she told him. "Any lightning in this general vicinity will be attracted to that."

"That's a lot of faith you're putting in that one little metal rod," he said leaning against the side of the window while he watched her.

"Well you have to put your faith in something," she replied simply, with a small shrug of her shoulders.

"Says the atheist."

"Which is why I didn't say that God would protect me from getting struck by lightening," she responded. "I put my faith in science. And who are you to say, its not like you don't do dangerous things every day."

"There is difference between danger and stupidity," he countered. "I don't do stupid things and neither do you, at least not usually."

"Oh riiight. So would you consider me climbing on the back of a Vicodin addict's motorcycle every morning dangerous or stupid?" she asked with faux curiosity.

"I call that a calculated risk, where the benefits far outweigh the potential detriments," he replied.

"Well then consider this a calculated risk," she retorted.

"Yes because spending some time on a swing in the middle of the night is so worth risking getting shocked with 20,000 bolts of electricity," he snarked. "You couldn't decide to regress to your childhood on a dry night?"

"Its only worth it _because _it is raining," she explained. "I love the rain! And besides I live with two doctors, one of you would be able to keep my heart from stopping"

"I'm glad you have so much faith in me."

"Like I said-"

"Yeah, yeah you gotta put you're faith in something."

He watched her swing for a while, her soaking wet hair trailing behind her. Drops of water flying from both the tips of her hair and her bare feet every time she changed directions. She looked very young with the look of joy and innocence that played across her countenance as she swung. But he began to feel uneasy as she pumped her legs harder gaining height and speed and then began to switch her grip on the rope with a look of determination in her eyes.

"On the dangerous verses stupid meter what you are about to do is pointing drastically towards the moronic!" he shouted in hopes that she wouldn't do what he knew she was about to do.

But Cameron didn't pay attention and flew from the swing as she jumped off at the top off the upswing. And of course, just like House knew would happen, the second her bare feet hit the wet grass they slipped from beneath her as she fell straight onto her back.

As soon as she hit the ground and he saw her shoulders start shaking, he feared she really hurt herself and vaulted out of the window, quicker and with more agility than any crippled man really had a right to. Rushing to her side, he let out an angry huff when he realized that she wasn't shaking from pained tears, but instead because she was laughing hysterically.

"That was really dumb you know," he scolded angrily. More pissed off because he had actually been worried she might have been hurt than at her for jumping.

"What it was, was really fun," she said obstinately, looking up at him from her position on the ground.

"Yes, because I know that falling on my ass in the mud is my idea of a good time," he retorted sarcastically. He stood there awkwardly for a moment as she just stretched her arms out on either side of her and continued to laugh. "You're going to get sick if you keep lying out here in the rain."

"No I'm not," she contradicted. "You don't get sick from being out in the rain."

"Didn't you listen to your mother when she told you that as a kid?"

"Sure, and I believed her. Then I went to med school and became, oh what am I again?" she said screwing up her mouth as if she was thinking hard. "Oh yeah, an immunologist. While being cold and wet for extended periods of time can lower you immune system's defenses, you already have to have a disease to take advantage of that fact."

"Yes, I am a doctor too," he said snidely.

"Well you're the one who said I'm going to get sick for enjoying a little rain," she returned.

"Right, because you are never exposed to any kind of disease in your line of work that might take advantage of your suppressed immune system," he told her sarcastically.

Cameron sighed, knowing he was right but frankly not really caring. So she did what he would do in her position. She changed the subject.

"Since when did you become the adult of our relationship. I feel some role reversal going on here. You need to lighten up," she said taking a handful of mud and flicking it at his face.

House froze in a stunned silence for a long moment as the mud that had hit him above his left eye slowly slid down his face and dropped in a glob onto is now soaked t-shirt. "I cant believe you just did that," he finally said shaking his head slightly. "I am actually astonished that you really would do such a thing." Cameron just looked up at him with faux innocence, as if she had no idea how the mud suddenly sprouted wings and flew through the air and onto his face. "Oh, you are _so _in for it now."

Before Cameron even noticed he had moved, let alone realizing what had hit her, House was kneeling above her, straddling her stomach with his hands full of mud that he was rubbing into her face and hair. She was not about to take that lying down and grabbed fistfuls of mud to fight back. It wasn't long before they were both covered in mud as they wrestled for dominance, although Cameron was aware of his bad leg all the while. However, he not only significantly outweighed her, he was also in the more advantageous position from the beginning and soon had her hands pinned above her head. But that didn't stop her from trying to get away nevertheless.

"Ready to give up and admit that you were never any threat to my superior mud wrestling skills?" he teased as he shifted both of her wrists into one hand.

"Never," she shot back playfully as she tried to slip out of his grasp.

"Say, 'Greg House is a god, superior to mortal men in every way,'" he commanded as he hovered above her.

"You wish," she retorted with a laugh.

"Say it," he growled, although anything threatening in his tone was tempered by the playful twinkle in his eyes.

She just shook her head obstinately and then managed to snatch her hands out of his slowly relaxing grip. He managed to regain control but had to practically lie on top of her to do so. However she stopped struggling completely when a bolt of lighting crossed the sky and she began to count, waiting for the thunder to calculate how many miles away it had struck.

"One…" she counted softly, "two…"

Perhaps it was the lighting that caused the electric charge in the air-

"Three… four…"

- that seemed to be drawing him towards her -

"Five…six…"

- or perhaps it was something else entirely -

"Seven…"

- he really didn't care at this point, all he knew was that with every number, his lips where drawn closer and closer to hers.

"Eight…" she whispered, their eyes locked.

She never got to nine, and she never needed to, as the crashing of their lips was simultaneous with the booming of the thunder.

"Say it," he whispered against her lips pulling back slightly, but still close enough that they were still breathing the same air.

"Greg House is a god, superior to mortal men in everyway," she repeated breathlessly.

He leaned in to drop one more kiss on her lips before finally relenting and rolling off of her so that he was laying on the grass next to her, close enough that there shoulders were still touching. He closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of the rain against his face as it wiped away some of the mud.

"When I was growing up," Cameron suddenly began, "all the neighborhood kids would always get excited when it started to rain, because we knew it could only lead to one thing… mud football."

When she started to speak he opened his eyes to see that she had now propped herself up on her elbows as she gazed somewhere out into the distance.

"Of course it was never really about the football game, as it always quickly dissolved into what it really was about, an opportunity to tackle each other and get disgustingly filthy. But to all of our mothers' dismay when we trudged home at the end of the day, utterly filthy, we loved it. In our case, when my brothers and I would come home my mom would always make go around the house to the back yard where she would physically hose us off for a good twenty minutes before letting us inside. And let me tell you, that hose water was _cold_."

House laughed as he too propped himself up on his elbows. If she had told him this story seven weeks ago he never would have believed it. But coming from the Allison Cameron he had come to know recently, it wasn't even a stretch of the imagination.

In fact, that went for the whole night as well. Anyone telling him two months ago that he would accidentally marry his caring and kind immunologist, then act like they did it on purpose, going as far as to move in together, and one night end up having a mud fight in the middle of a rainstorm that person would first get whacked with his cane and then be admitted to the psychiatric ward. But instead, he was surprised that it seemed like a natural thing to do.

He had never done anything so spontaneous like this with Stacy. No, their relationship had always been so serious, so adult. They worked, they had sex, they fought, they went to social events where he had been forced to converse with other serious adult couples, basically, they coexisted.

He found, much to his own amazement, that he was so comfortable with Allison that he could actually let his guard down enough to be genuinely playful with her. Something he wasn't sure he had actually ever done before with anyone. Even as a small child he had been guarded in what he said and did, being raised by his father ensured that. A psych major might tell you that that is why he acted out so childishly as an adult with his love for video games and cartoons and playing pranks on people, but that wasn't exactly the same thing. There was really no innocence behind those things, there was always a hidden motive or alternative reason, even if that reason was something as mundane as just liking the reaction he got from others.

But this, with Allison, right now in this very moment, had no purpose or motive, he wasn't getting anything out of it other than pure enjoyment of life. Because that, he admitted to himself, was what he was actually doing right now, letting loose and enjoying life. Something he hadn't done in a long time. He hadn't even been sure that he remembered how.

"Speaking of cold," Cameron said, breaking House out of his reverie, "I'm starting to get chilly. Are you ready to head in?"

"I didn't want to come out here in the first place," he replied gruffly, highly uncomfortable with his own train of thought.

However, Cameron was not phased and simply rolled her eyes as she heaved herself up and the extended an arm to House a hand up as well. Without a word House accepted her help which they both knew he needed. His leg was not happy after his impressive vault out of the window, then his wrestling with Cameron and finishing it up with laying on the cold ground in the rain. They continued to say nothing as he draped his arm over her shoulder and used her as a makeshift crutch on the way to the front door.

And as she looked up and gave him a genuine smile that went all the way to her eyes, clearly not minding the extra weight he was putting on her, he decided that who cares if he had pop a couple extra Vicodin tomorrow as a result of the past hour, it was worth it.

"You do have a spare key ya know," she mentioned wryly as he reached out to press the button for the doorbell.

"I know, but this is way more entertaining," he replied as he continued to ring the doorbell repeatedly as he waited for Wilson to get out of bed.

"What the hell happened to you two?" Wilson exclaimed when he opened the door.

"It's tag team mud wrestling night at Duke's tonight, Allison and I beat the midget and the kid with Hypertrichosi**s** and won second place. We now have a life time supply of Rice-A-Roni," House explained seriously.

"The San Francisco treat," Cameron supplied helpfully.

"In your pajamas?" Wilson asked with a raise of his brow.

"After what I just told you, the fact that we're in our pajamas is what has you worried?" House questioned.

"You know what, I don't even want to know. I'm going back to sleep," Wilson relented as he shook his head tiredly and immediately retreated back to his bedroom.

House made to follow him down the hall, but Cameron held out her arm to stop him before he even made it out of the entrance way.

"You're dripping and I don't want to track mud through the whole place so give me your pajamas," she replied to his questioning look.

"What?" House asked momentarily stunned.

"Unless you want me to break out the hose," she said with a wry smile, referencing her story earlier, "because I really don't want to spend my morning tomorrow cleaning up the mess."

House just looked at her as if she had grown a third eye.

"Do you always look so appalled when a woman tells you to get naked?" Cameron teased as she pulled her own t-shirt over her head revealing a baby blue sports bra.

"My you're daring tonight," he mentioned with a suggestively raised brow as she started to peel off her flannel pajama pants so she was now standing in blue, gray, and white striped boy cut underwear, "how do you know I'm not going to jump you with you standing there all temptingly like that?"

Cameron just smirked. "I'll consider it a calculated risk. Now strip down to your skivvies and give me your clothes," she said authoritatively, holding out her hand expectantly.

House looked at her speculatively for a moment, standing there in her underwear with one hand resting on a pushed out hip, her other hand held out waiting for his clothes, her foot tapping impatiently, with an expectant look on her mud smeared face. In one way, it was incredibly sexy, but in another her whole appearance was utterly ridiculous. Realizing he was staring, he gave a mental shrug and pulled his shirt over his head and let his pajama pants fall to the floor so that he was standing in his boxers.

"You can take the first shower if you want," she offered, taking his soiled shirt from him and then picking the pants off of the floor. "I want to get these clothes in the wash before the stains set."

House simply nodded and headed back to the bedroom, using furniture and walls to ease his path since he didn't have his cane and since he was starting to feel his evening activities in his thigh. Frankly the idea warm water sounded mighty inviting.

Cameron felt guilty when she saw his extra pronounced limp, but that didn't stop her from ogling him while he walked away. After all its not like he hadn't very obviously done the same to her not five minutes before.

She had found free weights underneath the bed when she had moved in two weeks before and it was clear from the muscle tone in his arms, chest, and back that he used them. She had never really thought about it before she had found the weights, but it certainly made sense. By all accounts he had been an athletic man before the infarction and when one took into consideration how he acted while the ketamine had been working, it was clear that the man enjoyed exercising. So it was only logical that he would continue to work out the part of his body that he actually could.

And it certainly paid off since she had enjoyed the way he filled out a t-shirt for years and he looked just as great without one, especially for a man his age.

Once the door to the bathroom clicked shut behind him she shook herself out of her musings and went to start a load of wash. She hoped that he would take a quick shower since she couldn't wait to take one herself and she also wanted to get to bed at some point before they had to get up for work in the morning.

I_ could always pop in there with him,_ she considered as she poured the detergent into the machine. _Nah… _she dismissed with a chuckle at the very thought of it, _although it would almost be worth it just to see the look on his face_.

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A/N The time has come for the question/answer portion of our AN so I thought I would answer some questions/concerns some readers have been having…. A few people have commented that there is too much Wilson or that I shouldn't have him around so much… and while he really only made a cameo in this chapter, I'll tell you now, he isn't going anywhere… because without Wilson there would be no reason for Cameron to be living with House, so unless you want her to move out, Wilson needs to be there…. And frankly I happen to enjoy the dynamic between the three of them, and I'm the author so there…lol…. Also a couple people have asked how much longer this is going to be…. As of now, I'm outlined for 42 chapters, of course I was at 37 chapter 2 weeks ago when I initially wrote out the outline so you can see the trend… but I would say that we are about half done and I swear I'm actually building up to something… hehe… So what do you all think? 


	22. Dying Is A Good Excuse To Skip Work

A/N Gah, I'm sorry again about the wait… I don't even have an excuse this time, I knew what was going to happen this chapter before I even started it, I just didn't write it, so for that I apologize… although I was still working on future chapters so its not like I was being completely lazy….lol… I also wanted to thank everyone for your continued support of this story… it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside and really does drive me to keep writing…

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House was rudely jarred from his sleep when Cameron scrambled off of him, practically leaping from the bed as she ran to the bathroom. He pulled the blankets up to his chest, ready to go back to sleep, but when he heard her retching a few moments later he rolled over with a sigh to look at the alarm clock. At 5:53, the sun hadn't even begun to rise and he didn't want to either, but he popped a Vicodin anyways and hauled himself out of bed and over to the bathroom. 

"Ew," he said leaning in the doorway of the bathroom while he waited until it seemed like she was done purging, "that's icky."

"It's not doing me to much good either," she replied darkly as she kneeled in front of the toilet, practically hugging the porcelain bowl.

"So are you done turning the contents of your stomach inside out for one morning?" he asked brightly.

Cameron just glared at him in response before turning away so that she could vomit again.

"I'll take that as a no," he commented.

"This is all your fault you know," she told him as she flushed the toilet and collapsed against the side of the tub.

"Riiiight, this coming from the woman who wanted to relive her childhood three nights ago by playing in a thunderstorm. Miss you - don't - get - sick - from - being - in - the - rain - it - only - suppresses - your - immune - system. See where that philosophy has gotten you now," he said, unable to resist a good I told you so.

"Yeah, but me and my suppressed immune system would have been fine if you hadn't made me do your clinic hours yesterday where I got puked on twice by two different small children," she returned as she lay down on the floor. "Ergo, your fault I'm sick."

"Yes, because there is no flaw in that reasoning," he replied sarcastically. "Regardless, better you than me, I'm much to pretty to be getting barfed on."

Cameron just groaned and rolled onto her back so that she could have as much contact with the cold tile as possible as she draped her elbow over her eyes to block out as much light as possible.

"Come on," House said hobbling over to her and extending a hand to help her up, "let's get you back to bed."

"No," she croaked, waving him away weakly, "leave me here. It's to late for me now, go on without me."

"Right," he responded, internalizing his smirk, "I'll remember that the next time we decide to scale Mt. Everest. But in the meantime, lets get you off of the bathroom floor as you are possibly the most pathetic thing I have ever seen."

This time she relented and allowed him to pull her up to her feet so they could make their way back to the bed, both of them half supporting the other.

"Oh god," Cameron groaned as she collapsed onto the bed and curled up into a ball on her side. "I think I'm dying. Actually I hope I'm dying, if I'm not dying, please just kill me now and put me out of my misery. Tell the boys that I will miss them and tell Wilson that he can have my Cuisenart, tell Chase he can have my CDs, and Foreman can have my case notes. Also, they are all invited to my funeral where I want them to play 'We Are The Champions.'"

"Queen?" he asked, mildly surprised at her choice.

"_I've paid my dues, time after time_," she started to sing lightly to emphasize her point, much to House's amusement as he wondered just how high her fever was.

"_I've done my sentence, but committed no crime  
And bad mistakes, I've made a few  
I've had my share of sand, kicked in my face  
But I've come through_

_And I need to go on and on and on and on-_"

"Alright there Freddie," he cut her off, grinning openly now as he slipped back into the bathroom and returned with a damp washcloth to wipe down her clammy face and neck. "I'll be sure to make a note of that."

"Thanks," she murmured as he folded up the towel and placed it on her warm forehead. "And I want to be cremated not buried, it's better for the environment."

"So what's wrong with you?" he asked.

"I told you I'm dying," she groaned with her eyes closed.

"Then I assume that means you're staying home today. I do suppose dying is a good excuse to skip work, not even Cuddy can deny that. But seriously, what are your symptoms?" he questioned again.

"House, I feel like crap," she exclaimed, clearly irritated. "I just puked up something I ate in the sixth grade. I'm not really in the mood to do a differential diagnosis. I'm sick alright, leave me the hell alone!"

"Oookay," House said drawing out the word, a little surprised at her outburst. "So far we have vomiting, fever and irritability."

"I'm sorry Greg," she apologized sincerely, not having meant to snap. "That last one isn't really a symptom. I'm just a horrendous sick person, I always have been, even as a kid. I just hate being sick and it makes me go a little bi-polar. When I was growing up my dad and brothers knew to avoid me and my room at all costs when I was sick. The only person who was allowed to come in was my mom, and even she would just bring me food and meds and then leave."

House simply nodded his understanding, after all he wasn't exactly the easiest patient to deal with either. He went back into the bathroom to grab the bottle of Tylenol and then limped out into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He brought them both back into the bedroom and held out two pills and the glass.

"Take these and drink all the water," he ordered.

She took both items obediently and did as she was told, gulping the water that she knew he gave her as she was sure to be dehydrated from emptying the contents of her stomach, but currently enjoying its secondary function of getting the acidic taste out of her mouth.

"Thanks," she said gratefully as she handed him back the glass.

House just nodded again, took the glass, and went back out into the living room. Frankly, Cameron was his kind of sick person. She didn't want to be babied and fussed over, she just wanted to be taken care of as succinctly as possible and then left the hell alone. He could handle that.

He sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, flipping the channels until he landed on Pants Off Dance Off. Usually the odd music video stripping game show was good for hours of entertainment, but this morning it only took him twelve minutes to realize that it was simply too early for this freak show. Turning off the TV he concluded that since there was no way he was going to be able to get back to sleep and that there wasn't really enough time to warrant it anyways, that he would just go into work early. And it wasn't as if Cameron would mind since she just wanted to be left alone anyways.

He crept back into the bedroom, at least as much as he could creep, in case Cameron had managed to fall back asleep, which he quickly saw she had. He took a quick shower and then dressed efficiently before going to sit on the edge of her side the bed. He felt her forehead to confirm that the Tylenol was in fact doing its job and her fever was going down, and then checked her pulse and observed her breathing to make sure they were both normal.

He rebuked himself for being overly concerned, but with a specialty in infectious diseases and the knowledge of everything that she could potentially be exposed to on a daily basis in their line of work, he didn't want to take any chances. And really, it was just a matter of self-preservation, he told himself, after all, he didn't want to catch anything particularly nasty himself.

Once he was satisfied that she did just have a case of the flu and that she was in fact just joking earlier when she had commented that she was dying, he shook her shoulder gently.

"Allison, I'm going to go to work now. I don't care if you feel better when you wake up, don't show up or I'm going to be pissed. If you need anything page me and I'll send Wilson running."

She cracked open one sleepy eye and nodded to show she understood and then rolled over and went back to sleep before he even had a chance to stand and leave the room. He was halfway through the front door before deciding to leave a note for Wilson to warn him that Cameron was sick and to leave her alone, and to do one last quick thing.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Walking through the front doors of the hospital twenty minutes later, he made a beeline for the elevator, hoping that he would be able to get a nap in before dumb and dumber showed up for work.

"House?!" Cuddy called from where she was just unlocking the door to her office to let herself in.

"The clinic isn't even open yet," House whined, still heading towards the elevator bank, "can we please schedule this nagging for later in the day so I know when to avoid you?"

"It's not even seven yet," she said suspiciously, ignoring his comments.

"Yes, I can read a clock as well," he replied pressing the up button repeatedly as if that would somehow make the elevator come faster.

"What are you doing here so early?" Cuddy continued to press. "And where is Dr. Cameron?"

"I killed her last night and I'm on my way to sneak into the morgue so I can steal the equipment I need to embalm her. That way I can keep her young and pretty forever," he told the dean with a maniacal laugh.

Cuddy just crossed her arms in front of her chest in a clear display that she was not amused. House sighed theatrically and began again.

"Allison is at home in bed because she is sick, which is why I am here so early since she so inconsiderately woke me up by getting sick," he explained, wondering what the hell was taking the elevator so long.

"So your wife is sick so instead of taking care of her you decide to go to work early?" Cuddy asked disbelievingly. "Real nice House, great bedside manner. Although I don't know why I'm surprised."

"Hey," House snapped, actually insulted, as the elevator finally arrived. "I took care of her, alright? There is nothing else I could do for her right now unless you want me to go home and watch her sleep for a few hours."

"Sorry," Cuddy apologized, slightly chagrined and also slightly surprised at his defensiveness.

"I'll be in my office if you have a case worthy of my time," he replied brusquely stepping onto the elevator. "If not, don't bother me."

House made his way down the hall to the diagnostics department and was surprised to find that dumber was already sitting in the conference room drinking a cup of coffee.

"What are you doing here so early?" Chase asked looking up from his crossword puzzle.

"What are you doing here so early?" House replied in kind.

"The patient went into anaphylaxis a couple hours ago and I was the one on call," the younger doctor explained. "I had his meds switched and now he's stable, but I stayed to monitor his condition. Where's Cameron?"

"She realized exactly who she was married too and decided to run off with the pool boy," House deadpanned as he walked over to the coffee maker, took a tentative sniff of the brew in pot and quickly put it back without pouring a cup. "The real irony of the situation is that I don't even have a pool."

"No really, where is she?" Chased asked curiously.

House didn't get a chance to respond before the conference room door opened again.

"What are you two doing here so early?" Foreman asked, surprised that he wasn't the first one in.

"What are you doing here so early?" Chase returned.

"I'm behind on my charting and I thought I would come in early and do it instead of staying late since I have a date tonight," the neurologist explained. "What about you?"

"Patient had an allergic reaction to the meds, he's stable now," Chase explained again.

They both turned to look at House waiting for his answer, who simply stared right back at his two male subordinates.

"Where's Cameron?" Forman asked realizing she was the only one missing.

"She was bitten by a vampire and can no longer go out in the sun," House said. "She'll be taking all the night shifts from now on."

"Seriously," Foreman said distrustfully, "where is she?"

"Jeez, everyone wants to know where Allison is. It's always Cameron Cameron Cameron," House said with his best Jan Brady impression. House sighed theatrically,  
"Doesn't anybody want to know how _I_ am? If you must know, she is home sick."

"Is she alright?" Foreman questioned, his expression going from annoyed to concerned.

"Should someone be with her?" Chase asked worriedly.

"Whoa there," House said holding up a hand to ward off their concerns. "She's fine, it's just the flu. But she did tell me to let you both know that she will miss you, and that you are both invited to the funeral. Also Chase you get her CDs and Foreman you get her case notes."

The two younger doctors both rolled their eyes, having no idea that he actually was telling the truth.

"Now I'm going to go take a nap. It's far to early to be at work and neither of you can make a consumable cup of coffee," House said, already walking towards his office. "If you need anything… find someone who cares."

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A/N And there we have it! This is actually only the first half of the chapter cause it was getting long so I split it in two (the other reason it took so long for me to post)… as a result the next chapter is almost done so that will be up sometime this weekend… but while you wait, check out my last couple of oneshots if you havent already or I am a Rock, I am an Island, I am a House by blueheronz I've been betaing that story and it it excellent...so anyways... let me know what you thought! 


	23. Random Acts Of Decency

A/N So, I suck… I really wanted to get this chapter up before I went to New York but I didn't get the chance…. And so instead I wrote it long hand on the way to New York and typed it up on the way back to California… I've was only home 20 minutes before I passed out so here is your update now… I have to dedicate this chapter to Corrin for showing me a fabulous time in NY and for inspiring much of and giving me my first hand experience at one of the things in this chapter… I don't know what I would do without her and I am positive this story would not be of the same quality as it is without her…

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Cameron woke up the second time that day not from the irrepressible need to empty the contents of her stomach, but because the bright autumn sunlight streaming through the window had settled over her eyes. Something that had never happened to her while sleeping in House's bed. Squinting, she glanced at the clock, surprised to see that it was almost two in the afternoon. That certainly explained the position of the sun. She didn't even know when the last time she had slept so late, but she had obviously needed it. 

Closing her eyes once more she ran a quick diagnostic on herself. She was a little queasy, but not in danger of needing to sprint to the bathroom as she had that morning. Her head hurt, but it was a bearable dull throb, and she thought she might have a mild fever, but it was always hard to tell by feeling your own forehead.

All in all, she didn't really feel like she had been run over by a bus, nor was getting hit by said bus the preferable option like she had felt it was this morning, but she was still feeling just icky (and yes, that is the proper medical terminology) enough to be thoroughly unhappy.

Sitting up and preparing to drag herself out of the bed, her attention was caught by a bright yellow flash in the corner of her peripheral vision. Glancing over at the night stand she discovered that it was a post-it note with a couple Tylenol beside it and the message _TAKE ME _written across it in a familiar messy scrawl. The corners of her mouth turned up slightly as she picked up the pills and shuffled out into the kitchen in search of something to wash them down with since she didn't posses the same ability to dry swallow pills as House did.

Opening the fridge to grab the cranberry juice that was one of her preferred liquids, she hadn't expected to find a glass already poured with a secondary post it attached, this one commanding _DRINK ME_. Not one to disobey office supplies, she did as the post-it instructed and washed the pills down with what she was surprised to discover was actually cranberry juice mixed with now flat ginger ale, which was sure to help settle her jittery stomach.

The grin that threatened to cross her lips as she took a long sip of her drink, burst into a full fledged smile when she turned around to find a plate of Ritz crackers with the appropriate post-it declaring _EAT ME,_ sitting on the counter.

Grabbing the plate and her glass she took them into the living room where she would soon find one last bossy post-it note stuck to the remote control, insisting that she should _WATCH ME_.

Meanwhile, several miles away House was sitting at his desk staring at the phone on his desk, debating on whether or not to pick up the receiver. Finally he decided that he really should call because if Cameron had managed to die during the day, then the condo could really start to smell by the time he go home, so it was really in his best interests to check up on her.

Picking up the phone he quickly mused at how strange it was to be dialing his own phone number. It had been years since there had been someone in his home without him, except for perhaps Wilson during his post divorce tours, but he couldn't recall a time where he had needed to call him using his own phone.

Cameron had nestled on the couch in front of the TV nibbling on her crackers and nursing her juice concoction while watching an old re-run of Saved By The Bell when the phone rang.

"Hello?" she greeted, picking up the cordless phone that was on the coffee table.

"You still alive?"

Cameron chuckled as the gruff voice of her boss/husband traveled through the line.

"Last time I checked I was, hold on let me make sure… Yup still have a pulse. Why, do you miss me?" she teased.

"Like a fat kid misses the ice cream man in December," he retorted sarcastically leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up on his desk.

"Aw, I'm touched," she returned in the same tone.

"Yeah well," House began airily, "the coffee is sludge, there is far too much testosterone in the room, and frankly, Chase just isn't as pretty as you."

"Yes, I am the all important lobby art. How are any of you functioning without me?"

"You said it, not me. Did you eat?" he asked suddenly switching topics.

"I actually only woke up twenty minutes ago, so I'm eating my crackers and drinking my juice as we speak," she replied. "And thank you for setting it all out for me. That was really sweet."

"No it wasn't, I just didn't want you getting your diseased germy hands all over my food if you decided that you were hungry," he contradicted.

"Of course, I figured you had some self serving motive for doing it," Cameron replied seriously, allowing him to pretend he didn't actually do something nice. "So how is Reggie?"

"Who?" House replied, having no idea what she was talking about.

"Reggie," she repeated. "Our patient that we've been treating for the past nine days and finally managed to diagnose last night…"

"Oh right, the bleeder. He's still alive, he had an allergic reaction to his meds this morning, but we switched them out and he's been stable and improving since. Another life saved, all in all an average day in the life of Greg House M.D. Diagnostician extraordinaire," he praised himself loftily, not telling her that it had been Chase that had dealt with the allergic reaction that morning and earning a chuckle from Cameron on the other end of the line. "I was just happy that he's finally stopped bleeding out of every orifice. He had already had three free refills. Any more and we would have needed to-"

On a normal day Cameron wouldn't have even blinked at this line of conversation, blood, no matter what orifice it was coming out of wasn't something that phased her, but the memory of Foreman slipping and falling when it was all over the floor the day before was enough to get her stomach churning, and the fact that House was continuing to ramble on in rather colorful and disgusting metaphors made the dozen or so crackers and the half glass of juice revolt completely.

"Oh god," Cameron announced cutting House's sentence off. "I think I'm going to-"

That was all House heard before everything else was muffled by the loud clattering of the phone hitting the hardwood floor.

"Allison?" House asked the empty air on the other end of the line, amusement and concern mingling in his voice just as Wilson entered his office from their shared balcony.

"Hey House, what's up?" he asked, seeing the look on his friends face.

"I think I just made Allison upchuck," House told him honestly.

"Ah vomiting, just the affect every man wants to have on his wife," Wilson declared grandly. "You really do have such a way with women."

"People sleeping on glass futons shouldn't throw stones," House replied contritely.

"I don't even know if that made sense," Wilson said.

To be honest, House wasn't sure either, and as he hung up the phone he mentally admitted that that was not his best comeback.

"Do you have a reason to be here or is this just a random act of irritation?"

The oncologist just chuckled and shook his head, "And here I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to that new deli down the street lunch."

"Well why didn't you just say that in the first place," House retorted grabbing his cane and heaving himself up from behind his desk, starving since he hadn't eaten all day.

After a twenty minute detour in which Wilson attempted to hit on of the nurses from Pediatrics, only to be thwarted by the crappiest of all wingmen, the pair had almost made it to the front doors of the hospital before House was intercepted by Cuddy for the second time that day.

"House!" the dean shouted from the entrance way of the clinic. "You were supposed to be in here three hours ago."

House halted with a grimace on his face while Wilson just gave a sympathetic wave goodbye and detoured to the cafeteria.

"Well good afternoon Dr. Cuddy," House said grandly as he turned to face his boss. "There was nothing more I wanted to do than clinic duty today, but my patient-"

"Is diagnosed, stable and continuing to improve," Cuddy interjected. "I just spoke with Foreman about him."

"I was talking about my other patient," House retorted thinking quickly. "You know, that sick wife I have that you were so upset with me for leaving this morning. I need to stay by my office phone in case something happens and she needs to call me," he said, selectively forgetting that he had just been about to the leave the hospital and away from said office phone during his attempted lunch break.

"And I'm confident that if she really needs to get a hold of you, she would think to call your pager number," she replied handing him a clinic patient file. "Room two."

House just sighed and took the file and walked towards the aforementioned examination room.

"Doctor, I don't know what's wrong with her," the panicked mother declared before he even had a chance to shut the door behind him.

He only needed to take one look at the red blister covered toddler to know exactly what was wrong with her.

"Well Mrs…" House looked at the file, "Delano, your daughter has the chickenpox. Stick her in an Epsom salt bath and stop wasting my time."

"I know she has the chickenpox!" the woman shouted making House stop with one hand already on the doorknob to leave. "But last time I checked hearing loss wasn't a symptom of varicella."

"No, its not," House conceded grabbing a otoscope out of a drawer as this caught his attention as slightly more interesting.

"I noticed something was wrong when she kept turning up the volume of her cartoons," Mrs. Delano explained while House looked in her daughter's ear. "So then I stood right behind her and called her name and she didn't so much as react."

Satisfied he knew what was wrong, House put down the otoscope and turned to the woman.

"Your daughter," he began, "has the chickenpox."

Mrs. Delano threw up her hands in exasperation. "I know, but what is-"

"She has them in her ear canal," House interrupted. "Ear wax has built up around them to the point that she can't hear. Eventually it will clear on its own or if you don't want to wait you can get this earwax remover," he said scribbling something on a prescription pad.  
"Either way she'll be fine."

The worried mother sighed in relief that it wasn't serious. "Thank you doctor."

House simply grunted in reply as he was already half way out the door. Limping towards the nurses station, he slapped the chart on the growing pile to be filed away, not bothering to make any annotations. He attempted to slink away, but was quickly thwarted by Dr. Slave Driver who cut him off with another file in her hand.

"Room 4 and it looks like a fun one," Cuddy said sarcastically.

He was almost going to take the chart when his pager went off. Pulling it off of his belt he took a glance at the screen which simply stated -

CALL ME -A

His stomach dropped slightly as a quick wave of concern washed over him. However he quickly stamped that out before turning to his boss.

"I'm sorry Dr. Cuddy, there is nothing more I want to do than see that patient, but I need to make a phone call," House announced, turning so that he could go up to his office.

"We have already established that I know you don't have a patient, so I am sure that whoever it is can wait until you complete your hours," Cuddy insisted.

"You mean to tell me that I can't call my sick wife who is at home and needs me?" House practically shouted, making sure everyone in the waiting room could hear him.

The dean's forehead crinkled in a way it did almost exclusively when dealing with House, which was often enough that she was practically guaranteed that she was going to need some serious Botox one of these days. As she snatched the pager from his hand, the crease furrowed deeper as she read the perfunctory and uninformative message.

"Call from the nurses station," she relented, handing him his pager back with a resigned sigh.

House didn't really care to have this conversation in public, but he also didn't want to waste his time arguing with Cuddy so he just shot her a disdainful look before going to the nearest phone. Snatching the receiver, he quickly dialed his number for the second time that day.

"You ass!" was the salutation that greeted him on the other end of the line.

"Well hello dear. How are you feeling?"

"You stole my keys!"

"Yes, I did," he acknowledged. "I didn't want you deciding that you felt better and trying to come to work, like you are doing now."

"I don't want to come to work, I still feel like crap," she replied.

"Then what do you want your keys for?"

"I'm hungry, I was going to pick up some White Castle."

"So you couldn't keep down crackers and juice half an hour ago but now you want to eat greasy and fatty fast food?" he asked incredulously. "You know they don't call them sliders because they go down so easily."

"I know I will be able to keep it down. It's the only thing I'm going to be able to keep down right now," she insisted.

"I'm not following your logic here."

Cameron sighed heavily into the phone as if explaining was a great burden. "Remember when I told you that only my mom was allowed in my room when I was sick while I was growing up?"

"Yesss," he responded, drawing out the word.

"Well that was a lie," she admitted.

"Oookay."

"Well my dad was allowed in my room for the ten minutes that it took him to smuggle me in the White Castle he would get me on his way home from work. It never mattered how sick I was, it was what I wanted. It my version of chicken soup, it's my comfort food," she explained.

"That's weird."

"Well weird works for me," she retorted throwing his own long ago words back at him. "And since you decided to steal my keys, that means that you get to go and get me White Castle on your way home," she ordered.

"What?!" House exclaimed, "that's like half an hour out of my way."

"Yeah well if I had my keys I would already be there and be on my way back by now," she retorted. "Now I want a sack of ten with cheese, no mustard, extra pickles, hold the onions, a regular chicken rings and a diet coke."

"You're serious aren't you?"

"As a pulmonary embolism," she replied. "And I swear to god that if you don't bring me home some burgers I will personally breathe all over everything that you touch and hide the Lysol until I'm sure you're sick too."

"And how do you expect me to get all of that home on my bike?" he asked ignoring her threat which he had no doubt that she would follow through with.

"You're a smart man, I'm sure you'll figure something out," she replied. And with that she hung out the up the phone without any kind of good bye.

"That woman has been spending way to much time with me," he mentioned to no one in particular as he stared at the phone that was now connected to nothing for a moment.

._When did she start believing that it was acceptable to start bossing me around? _He couldn't help but wonder. That was his job and she had another thing coming if she thought he would just drop everything to go get her food, even if she was sick. But then again, White Castle did sound kind of good and he hadn't had it in years. _I'm actually going to go get it for her, _he acknowledged internally. He couldn't figure out where the compulsion for all these random acts of decency where coming from all of the sudden. He rationalized that all of them had selfish motives in there somewhere, but even he knew that these excuses were weak at best. _Damn… I'm really going to get her the food… _

Cuddy who had been listening to his half of the conversation while pretending to be busy with the paper work on the other side of the nurses station gave House a curious look as he slowly put the phone back in the cradle.

Feeling Cuddy's gaze he looked up to meet the woman's eyes. "I have to go," he informed her half heartedly.

He seemed to lost in thought and sincerely perplexed that Cuddy didn't even attempt to stop him as he walked out of the clinic muttering something about no onions and who in the hell actually wants extra pickles. The dean just shook her head and smiled slightly. She had never seen anyone able to throw House through such a loop like the pretty young immunologist, not even Stacy. Whether he knew it or not the lovely Dr. Cameron was going to be the death of him. And she had a feeling that he wouldn't have it any other way.

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A/N And there it is… the next chapter is started and should be up in the next couple of days now that I'm home for a while so let me know what you thought of this one! 


	24. Just Another Saturday Morning

A/N Once again, this is only the first half of the chapter because what I initially expected to just be a transition chapter kind of blew up into its own thing (I always like it when that happens) so as a result it was getting long and since I wanted to get this posted in a timely manner I thought I would give you the first seven pages now…well I don't really have anything else to say, so I'll just cut right too it… I hope you enjoy!

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House looked up from the TV, surprised when Cameron walked into the living room from the bedroom. He had used to believe that Cameron was just one of those annoying morning people, but once she had moved in he had learned that she only got up early when she had to and that she would happy sleep until eleven on her days off if she didn't have anything pressing to do. So it was with this knowledge that he was surprised to see her up and dressed in gray yoga pants and a light blue tank top, with her running shoes in hand at 9 AM on a Saturday morning. 

"You're up early," he commented absently, turning his attention back to the Mythbusters episode he was watching. They were trying to figure out if an MRI would rip the ink of a tattoo out of someone's skin and while he already knew the answer from personal experience, he wanted to see how long it took them to figure it out.

"I'm sick of being in bed so I thought I would start off my day early with a run," she explained as she sat on the arm of the couch so she could slide her shoes on.

"Are you feeling up to it?" he asked referring to the fact that she had spent the last three days home from work sick in bed. Yesterday she had insisted that she was fine to work, but he pulled rank and used the boss card to refuse to let her come to work anyways.

"I feel fine," she insisted, strapping her iPod to her arm.

"Morning Allison," Wilson greeted coming out of his makeshift bedroom.

"Morning," she returned. "Hey, I was about to go for a run, would you like to come with?"

"Um, sure," he agreed.

"That's a good idea Jimmy, you are getting chubby and could use the exercise. Plus, bonus for me, as it will get you out of my way for a while," House added.

And although he would never verbally admit it, he was privately glad that Wilson would be going with her, since while he would never tell Cameron or try to stop her, he didn't really like the idea of her running alone, especially when she was still getting over being sick. At least this way if she overexerted herself and passed out or something Wilson could drag her home.

"I'm just going to go change," Wilson said, pointedly ignoring House's comment. "I'll be ready in a minute."

"Take your time," Cameron replied. "I wanted to update my iPod and check my email anyways so I will just do that before we go."

Wilson nodded and went to change while Cameron grabbed her laptop from its bag and plopped down on the couch next to House. The diagnostician watched out of the corner of his eye as she toed off her running shoes before tucking her feet up underneath her and nestled into the couch cushions and placed the computer in her lap. He turned his attention back to the TV as she plugged in her iPod and began clicking away as she began checking her email.

"I'm a great aunt!" Cameron exclaimed excitedly after a few minutes.

"Did you get an award or something?" House asked dryly, confused by her enthusiasm.

"No, I'm a _great _aunt," Cameron repeated showing him a picture of a newborn on her laptop. "As in my niece, Erica, had her baby last night."

"How old is your niece?" House asked wondering how Cameron could have a niece old enough to have children, unless it was a teenage pregnancy.

"Twenty two," she replied. "I'm not that much older than her. She was really more like a cousin or even a little sister, than a niece since Dave, my brother, only lived a couple streets over when I was growing up."

"How old is your brother?" he asked again, the same question in his mind.

Cameron laughed at House who was clearly trying to figure out the logistics. She decided to make it easy and just lay it all out for him.

"There's seventeen years between me and Dave who is my oldest brother," she explained. "Jake was fourteen when I was born, Alex was five and Brian was two."

House quickly did the math and was surprised to realize that Cameron's brother was even older than he was.

"That's a big gap between numbers three and four," he observed.

"Yeah well, Alex wasn't exactly planned," she admitted. "But when he was born my parents realized that they wanted more kids and had Brian. Then they decided to try once more for a girl and had me. Although if I had been a boy, my mom said they would have just had five boys. But it was kind of like my parents had two sets of kids because both Dave and Jake moved out while us younger ones were all still under ten. I wasn't even walking when Dave left for college and I was five when Jake moved to California, and I remember I was devastated, he always doted on me the most when I was growing up."

"Is he your favorite brother?" he asked, interested as always when Cameron started talking about her past.

Cameron considered this for a moment. "Jake is probably my favorite brother, but I'm closest to Brian, if that makes any sense. Jake was the one who spoiled me and was there when I needed big brother advice, while Brian and I are only two and half years apart so we grew up together and were always close. Also we were the two book worms in the family so we had that bond as well. Like I said Dave was gone by the time I knew who he was and was married when I was three so he was a bit busy with his own family to really be a big brother and Alex… well Alex has always been a bit intense."

"What do you mean?"

"Well he's a Navy Seal, if that tells you anything," she replied. "It's a bit intimidating to know someone can kill you with his little finger."

House just nodded his understanding, having grown up in a military family, he knew all to well.

"Do you have a lot of nieces and nephews?" House asked, wondering just how big of a family he 'married' in to.

"Well, Dave has four, Jonah who is twenty four and just got married himself, Erica who just had the baby, and then the twins Nicole and Carrie who are eighteen," Cameron said having to calculate ages in her mind. "Jake isn't married and doesn't have any kids that he is aware of."

"What do you mean, 'that he is aware of?'" House asked intrigued by her word choice.

"He is a straight, male, high fashion photographer," she explained with a smirk. "He is also commitment phobic, but I assure you he never lacks female company. Honestly, he is a bit of a man whore, but he's my brother and I love him."

House couldn't help but chuckle at her description of her favorite brother.

"Then Alex has two kids, Alexander Jr. more commonly known as Xander who just turned twelve and who makes sure to tell everyone that he was born and got his nickname before Buffy went on the air," Cameron said with a chuckle, "and James who is eight. Brian has five children, all girls Holly, Willow, Sage, Hazel and Rowan, ages nine, seven, five, two, and three months respectively."

"Holly, Willow, Hazel, Sage and Rowan?" House repeated incredulously. "Your brother named his children after foliage. If they have any more are they going to be Spruce, Maple and Birch?"

"My brother did not name his children after various flora, my brother's wife did," she corrected with a laugh. "Katrina is a very nice woman, but she is a bit of a…" Cameron tried to think of the correct adjective, "free spirit."

"You mean she is a hippie," House interjected.

"Yeah that too," Cameron laughed.

"So your parents have five kids, eleven grandkids, and one great grandkid," House added up in his head. "Christmas at the Cameron house must be insane."

"Well Dave and Brian are the only ones who stayed close to home, and Dave's oldest two are already married and Jonah moved to Texas and Erica lives in New York. Jake technically lives in LA, but he jets all over the world for work. Alex is also in California where he lives on the Navy base in San Diego. And then of course I'm here in New Jersey," she explained. "So the Cameron clan is pretty scattered and it's pretty rare most let alone all of us are in the same place at once."

House nodded absently, mentally filing everything she had told him away in the corner of his brain that he reserved for everything Allison Cameron. And so the couple fell back into a comfortable silence until Wilson reemerged in his jogging attire.

"You all ready to go?" Cameron asked, slipping her running shoes back on as she closed the window for her email and set her laptop on the coffee table.

"I sure am," Wilson replied.

"Alright, we'll be back in a bit," Cameron addressed House as she leaned over to plant a kiss on his temple before standing and heading towards the front door.

House didn't reply as he was to busy trying not to make any sudden moves that would draw Cameron's attention to what she had done, or rather hadn't done. He waited a good five minutes after the pair had left before he jumped on his opportunity and snatched her laptop off the coffee table.

He had never had the chance to snoop through her computer since she had it password protected every time she opened it or it came back from the screen saver and she had always been super careful to shut it even if she was just going to the bathroom. He doubted he was going to find anything of great interest on her hard drive unless she secretly harbored a love for midget porn, but it was more the fact that he didn't know what she had on there that bothered him.

The first place he went to look was her already open iTunes. Scrolling through her library he was surprised at the wide and eclectic variety of her music. Of course he wasn't surprised to find the extensive collection of musicals considering she knew most of the songs by heart. She also had a lot of the music that he would have expected her to have, artists like Natalie Merchant, Alanis Morissette, Tori Amos, Sheryl Crow, Lisa Loeb, Paula Cole, Sarah McLachlan, Jewel, and of course Enya. But she also had some good stuff like The Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, Rancid, Bad Religion, Green Day, Queen, the Ramons, Social Distortion, and every Beatles album ever released to CD.

She also had quite a bit of other genres of music that fell somewhere between the two opposites. She had the Black Eyed Peas and Gwen Stefani, The Killers and Maroon 5, Third Eye Blind and Everclear, Red Hot Chili Peppers and the Goo Goo Dolls, the Gin Blossoms and U2, Marcy Playgound and R.E.M., Jack Johnson and Death Cab For Cutie.

House was also surprised to find a whole collection of music from artists that he had never even heard of. He had an inkling that perhaps Cameron's college age nieces and nephews were passing along the bands that they were listening to. But after sampling some of the songs he had to admit, he kind of liked The Spill Canvas and Bright Eyes, Staylight Run wasn't half bad either.

But what he was most excited to find was the music that he could make fun of her for. Because while he didn't find the Spice Girls or Paris Hilton's pathetic attempt at music, he did find Aqua and the New Kids On The Block. He also discovered her apparent love for the music of the eighties with such selections as And I Ran by Flock of Seagulls, Power of Love by Huey Lewis, Jenny 867-5309 by Tommy Tutone, and of course, the classic, I Wear My Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart.

Content that he had gathered enough blackmail for later, he decided to see what else he could dig up. Signing onto the internet he found out that he couldn't get into her email, but that was alright, he could work on figuring out her password later if he had time. So instead he decided to look through her documents.

It didn't surprise him that everything in her My Documents folder was meticulously categorized and filed away in different subfolders. Browsing through her documents, there wasn't a lot that caught his eye. A bunch of old papers and assignments from her college days, some articles that she had finished, including the infamous one Foreman stole, some articles she was still working on, electronic copies of financial documents, and other boring stuff.

He was going to close out of it completely until he saw a folder simply entitled Resignation Letters. Quickly clicking on the icon, his eyes widened when the folder opened up to reveal thirty seven documents.

He frowned slightly as he scrolled through the long list of resignations. All of them titled by the day they were written, the first one being just three days after she had began working for him and the most recent dated just two and half weeks before they had gone to the Vegas conference. Did she really hate working for him so much that she had considered quitting seriously enough to actually write out a resignation letter thirty seven times?

But as he opened up the first document his frown dissolved as he began to read.

Dr. Cuddy-

I'm afraid I'm going to have to resign my position under the contemptible and hellatious Dr. House because I was hired under false pretenses. I believed I was going to be working for a world class diagnostician not a sadistic bastard with the maturity level of an eight year old. Although I really shouldn't say that, considering it is insulting to the majority of the eight year olds I know. I still look forward to the pleasure of his company since I have yet to have it. In the short time I have been working under the mordant, rancorous, splenetic, detestable man, I have learned that he is not obnoxious like so many other people we are forced to deal with on a regular basis, no he is obnoxious in a new and much worse way….

House skimmed the rest of the document with a smirk placed firmly on his face and opened up another from a couple months later.

…I can no longer work for a spiteful bitter old man who probably takes great joy in kicking puppies and telling small children that Santa Clause doesn't exist. There isn't a belt low enough that he can't hit below it. I'm sure that he is not the worst person in the world, but until I meet one, he'll just have to do. He should really do some soul searching, perhaps he will even find one….

The early ones at least had the pretension of being modeled after letters of resignation. But as time passed they became epistles as to why she hates Gregory House and his smile grew as time passed and her insults became more creative. This one was shortly after their disastrous date and took place in the middle of the whole Stacy debacle.

….I've been that my love for him was just a case of infatuation, and I don't know if that was true. But what I do know is that this hate I feel now for House is the real thing. So I can no longer work for him because I'm sick of standing in line to hate him. Perhaps instead of standing in that extremely long line we should start a club where we can all work together and hate him all the more; I'll be secretary. One of our bylaws can be that whenever we feel lonely we can just think of House, and then we will be content to be alone, that and we will have cookies at every meeting…

And they kept getting better.

… They say that there is nothing like a mothers love. But I doubt even House's mother loves him. I bet she used to watch her back to make sure that he didn't push her over the banister like Damien did in The Omen. When he was born the doctor should have slapped his mother. Honestly out of 100,000 sperm why did he have to be the quickest? Although I have no doubt that there was something unnatural about him in sperm form that poisoned the rest of them to give himself an unfair advantage. That's probably why he is an only child, after him his father could only shoot blanks….

But his absolute favorite was one that was dated April 14th of that year which simply stated in big bold 72 font letters -

KISS. MY. ASS. I QUIT!

That one had him laughing wholeheartedly.

He continued to read until a loud pounding on the door startled him, it sounded like someone was kicking the door instead of knocking. Remembering his concerns from earlier, he quickly set the computer down and hurried to the door as quickly as his bad leg would let him.

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A/N I had a lot of fun writing about Cameron's family in this chapter, we know so little about her childhood its fun to make it up… some of the information I gave will be coming up again so I hope you all took notes… he he I'm just kidding of course… or am I? So I left it with a mini cliffy, so let me know if you want to know who is at the door and in what condition that they wouldn't be able to knock… 


	25. Extended Warranties and Marital Perks

A/N Yay, I finally updated in a timely manner! lol... but one thing about me is that when I do leave you with a cliffy its rarely because the obvious thing is on the bottom…. So congrats to those who were on the right track… now it is 6 in the morning and ive just finished this so please forgive any typos i might have missed...now I will stop babbling and let you all find out what actually happened…. I hope you enjoy!

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House threw open the door to find… not what he expected. 

It was indeed Cameron and Wilson, but Cameron, besides looking a little sweaty from her run, looked fine. It was Wilson that looked like he either wanted to pass out or throw up, or possibly throw up and then pass out.

He had one arm draped over Cameron's shoulders and she had her other arm wrapped around his waist, and she looked like she was the only thing keeping the oncologist upright. Now he knew why she hadn't been able to get to her keys to open the door herself or even knock properly.

"What did you do to him?" House asked, clearly more curious and amused than actually concerned.

"Would you just move?" Cameron asked impatiently. "He's heavy."

House obliged and stepped aside holding the door open so that Cameron could half carry, half drag, half walk, Wilson into the living room.

"Why don't you just lay down here for a second and I'll get you some water," Cameron said in what House considered her 'I'm a doctor, you can trust me' tone, as she helped him lie down on the area rug next to the coffee table before hurrying into the kitchen.

House took one look at the rather pathetic looking man lying on his floor before following Cameron into the kitchen.

"So how did you break him?" House asked with great interest.

"I did not _break_ him," she retorted grabbing a glass and pouring a cup of water from the refrigerator door.

"Well you did something to him, because he did not return in the same condition I gave him to you in," he said leaning casually against the counter. "Didn't your mother ever teach you to be careful with other peoples belongings if they are nice enough to lend them to you?"

"It's just a little bit of heat exhaustion, he just overexerted himself is all," she explained, ignoring the way he objectified his best friend as she grabbed a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer before breezing past him to go back into the living room.

House watched her go for a moment before pushing himself off the counter and going back into the other room. Cameron was kneeling beside Wilson whom she had propped up slightly with a pillow off of the couch and had placed the bag of peas on the back of his neck to cool him down quicker and was now helping him sip the water.

"I'm so sorry Jimmy, you should have told me what was going on, I would have slowed down, and I certainly wouldn't have suggested that we sprint the last block," Cameron apologized guiltily as she checked his pulse.

"So you did break him," House repeated sure of himself. "Damn, and his extended warranty just ran out last month, I told you should have renewed it."

Cameron simply glared at him in response so House moved onto his next target.

"Was poor Jamesy Wamsey not able to keep up with the itty bitty immunologist?" he asked as if talking to a two year old.

"Shut up House," Wilson retorted tiredly.

"What? Just because you got your ass kicked by a woman who only weighs two pounds."

"Could you try to not be an ass for the next ten minutes please?" Wilson asked, still too exhausted to deal with him.

"Never try to teach a pig to sing, Wilson. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig."

"So in this scenario, you're the pig?" Wilson asked raising his head to look at his friend.

House considered this for a moment. "Yeah, that is the way the metaphor went."

"An accurate enough description," he conceded laying his head back on the floor.

"Jeez, you think that I'm a farm animal and Allison thinks that when they made me, they broke the mold, and then beat the mold maker with the pieces. I'm not really feeling the love in this room," House said with mock hurt in his voice.

"When did you tell him that?" Wilson asked Cameron, whose eyes had gone wide. After all, while funny, it didn't seem to be keeping in her character to tell someone that.

"She didn't," House answered for her, "she wrote it, in one of her thirty seven resignation letters."

"Wait.. thirty sev- what?!" Wilson exclaimed sitting up far to quickly, making his head spin so that he was forced to lie back down as Cameron looked on worriedly.

"Allison has written thirty seven rather colorful letters of resignation. I have to give her credit though, some of them were rather creative in their insults. They were quite entertaining to read."

"Well thank you, I'm glad I was able to amuse you, and you were able to amuse yourself by snooping through my computer," Cameron said having recovered from the fact that he had obviously been going through her laptop while they were gone.

House at least had the decency to at least pretend to look a little teeny bit chagrined at having gone through her personal files, but Cameron just rolled her eyes knowing it was useless to be irritated and knew it was her fault for not having remembered to shut the screen.

"Yes, well it always is compelling to read about how much your wife despises you," he shot back.

"I don't despise you," she huffed with yet another roll of her eyes.

"That's not what you wrote, according to that you don't even think my mother loves me. You think that-"

"You just piss me off," she interjected before he could list off more of her personal method of anger management, "a lot. It was either write those or years of extensive therapy," she explained walking over to the couch, grabbing her laptop and closing the multitude of windows he had left open.

"But I thought Cuddy wrote into your contracts that the hospital would comp any therapy you needed to recover from the emotional damage or psychological trauma you might incur from dealing with me on a regular basis," House cut in.

"Now why don't I have one of those in my contract?" Wilson asked from the floor.

"Its alright Jimmy, I must have missed that clause too," Cameron retorted. "So as a result, if I didn't get it out of my system that way I probably would have quit years ago, or been fired for finally loosing it and actually screaming some of those things at you in the middle of a differential diagnosis."

"If you had told me in the middle of a DDX that you, and I quote, would like to go to my funeral when I die, but unfortunately you'll probably have to work that day and you believe in business before pleasure-"

Wilson snorted as he tried to contain his laughter and even Cameron couldn't restrain her smile at that one. While it was rather harsh, that particular insult had been one of her more creative.

"-I wouldn't have fired you, I would have given you a raise to reward your ingenuity. I'm just mad that I didn't think of that particular piece of offensive gold myself," House admitted.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," Cameron laughed lightly.

"You know, I don't think I would have called you a teddy bear made by grandma if I would have known that you would go home and insult my mother."

"What?! When did I insult your mother?" Cameron asked defensively.

"Just when you talked about her demon spawn."

"I was insulting you, not your mother," she continued to defend teasingly. "She couldn't help what she gave birth to. If anything I was sympathetic towards her plight of having to raise you."

"Riiight," House drawled. "So now that I read all about how much you hate me, where are all your prepubescent style love letters of unrequited love?"

"Ah, now those are all in a journal that I hid underneath my mattress," she joked, her voice jumping up to that of the aforementioned prepubescent girl. "Complete with heart doodles in the margins and AC+GH love forever. And I heart Greg House and future Mrs. Gregory House, and of course I practiced the signature Allison House page after page after page."

Wilson chuckled at her antics and even House had to withhold a smirk.

"And yet even with all at that practice you still refuse to use the name."

"Oh we are so not getting into that again," Cameron said with another roll of her eyes. "I'm going to go take a shower."

House watched her leave and then once again turned his attention to his friend who was still laying on the floor and started to chuckle.

"What?" Wilson asked, not sure if he really wanted to know.

"You got owned."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Twenty minutes later, Cameron reentered the living room, freshly showered and dressed in jeans and a thin cream cashmere sweater.

"So," she asked sitting on the couch next to her husband, "did you find anything else of interest on my computer?"

House screwed up his mouth in faux contemplation. "Aqua?" he asked finally, as if it hurt him to even say the word.

"What can I say, I'm just a Barbie girl in a Barbie world," Cameron deadpanned with a shrug.

"Oh I'm embarrassed to be associated with you."

"Yeah yeah…" she replied, refusing to apologize for her taste in music, besides it was good to work out too. "Hey Jimmy, there is still plenty of hot water if you want to take a shower."

"I think I'll go do that," Wilson said agreeably now that he had suitably recovered from his run.

Once Wilson left the room Cameron busied herself on her computer for awhile, while House turned his attention back towards the TV.

"So what are you doing for the rest of the day?" Cameron asked after a twenty minute lull of comfortable silence.

"I'm doing it," he replied not looking up from the TV.

"Come to the mall with me, I'm going Christmas gift shopping."

This got his attention. "First of all, did I go into a coma and sleep for a month? Because last time I checked it was still October and second, why would you think I would actually step foot into a mall if I didn't have too."

Cameron laughed lightly. "I like to get my shopping done early. I hate having to deal with the pre-Christmas madness which is the mall. I would rather miss out on the after Thanksgiving sales and hold onto my sanity instead," she explained. "And if you come with me I'll let you experience one of the great perks of being married."

"Sex on demand and clean socks?" he asked brightly. "Because you already do my laundry."

"No, I'll put both of our names on one gift so you wont actually have to go shopping yourself for everyone."

"The flaw in your logic is that I care. I never buy anyone gifts and I wasn't planning to start this year either."

"You bought me one," she reminded him.

"Only because you got me one first," he retorted. "I didn't want to be responsible for you going home and crying into your pillow."

"Like you have ever cared about common societal conventions like reciprocating gifts," she returned. She could tell by the look on his face as he returned his attention back to the TV that she had him there. She could also tell that he was highly uncomfortable just like he always was when conversations took a turn towards the more personal. She decided to take pity on him and let him off the hook. "You know, I never did give you exactly what I wanted to that Christmas," she mentioned nonchalantly placing her laptop back on the table.

"Oh yeah," he asked curiously, "and what's that?"

Before he even realized she had moved, she was kneeling on the couch, straddling his lap, her mouthed pressed to his. Her lips moved lazily against his own as she ran her hands through his hair, scratching her fingernails enticingly against his scalp causing a chill to go down his spine.

And although she initiated the kiss, he quickly took the lead as he grabbed her hips and pulled her closer, removing any distance between them as he deepened the kiss. All of his sensations were heightened as he felt the contrast of the rough denim of her jeans against the soft cashmere of her sweater. As his other hand snaked underneath her sweater and splayed across her warm back he wondered how anyone's skin could be so impossibly soft and smooth before he simply stopped thinking all together.

"Whoa, what's going on out here?" Wilson said, announcing his presence as he stepped out of his bedroom dressed and finished with his shower.

Cameron quickly popped off his lap, simultaneously blushing in embarrassment from being walked in on and flushed from the kiss. House, meanwhile, cursed and thanked Wilson's timing for walking in before things progressed in the way they were going as he tried to find a breath he hadn't even been aware of loosing.

"I'm taking my wife to the mall," he said suddenly, standing and taking Cameron by the hand and leading her towards the door. "Find yourself dinner."

* * *

A/N Next chapter House goes to the mall… once again a mini story arc that I had intended to be one chapter ends up taking three… I haven't even started the next chapter so let me know what you thought of this one and inspire me to write as you so have the ability to do… until next time… much love! 


	26. Shopping Is Not A Four Letter Word

A/N So this is the part where you all look at your computer screens and yell FINALLY! Because basically there is no one on this planet who sucks more than me… I had excuses in the beginning as to why this chapter didn't get written, I was at camp, I came home with strep throat, I had guy drama…. But after that… yeah no excuses… just that this was the chapter that refused to get written…. And then when I did finally start writing it, it became the chapter than never ended… But get written it did and now I can finally share it with you…

* * *

"I'm driving," Cameron announced succinctly as she walked across the street to where her car was parked. Not even noticing that she was still dragging House along behind her as he was still gripping her hand. 

For once House actually decided not to contest her proclamation, especially since she by her tone the decision was not up for debate. And so he allowed her to lead him to her car, only dropping her hand when he had to, so that he could move around to the passenger side.

It was on auto pilot that Cameron buckled herself up and started the ignition. She was so distracted that she didn't even bother to turn on the radio, as was her habit as soon as she got in the car, as she pulled out into the street and on their way to the mall. Without music in the background, and with both of them sitting there silently and the only audible sound being the even hum of the engine, the silence was almost deafening as the memory of their most recent kiss weighed heavily on both their minds.

Although neither of them had mentioned it, they both knew that it was exactly two months ago today that they had gotten married in Vegas.

Not that anyone was counting.

And while it seemed like a lifetime ago, there had really only been a handful of times that had kissed.

But again, no one was counting.

That's not to say that they didn't kiss each other all the time, because they did. For example, House would always make his wife give him a kiss goodbye and good luck before he went down to the clinic, just in case this was the time he didn't make it out alive. Also the occasional lip lock would be exchanged when Chase or Foreman didn't realize that the couple knew that they were being watched. Cameron also made it a sport of kissing her husband as often as possible in front of that pushy nurse from the ICU that had somehow developed a crush on the cranky Dr. House.

But really kissed, where it wasn't for an audience, where it had nothing to do with the image they were portraying or the game they were playing, that was something else entirely. So far, both of them had been careful to keep that line drawn clearly in the sand, because when that line got smudged as it was now, it was frankly overwhelming.

Kissing like that made it too easy to pretend that what they were doing was real. It became too simple to think that they were actually a happily married couple. When they kissed like that they could almost believe there was real emotion behind it, and neither of them wanted to believe that. After all, if they allowed themselves to delude themselves into thinking that there might be some real emotion behind their false relationship, then they might get attached to something the never existed in the first place, and that could only bring pain.

They were both all too aware that nothing good could come from loosing sight of the fact that this was just an illusion, a deception, a game that would eventually come to a most definite and permanent end.

And so they sat in the car, Cameron focusing all of her attention on the road as she flexed her fingers over the steering wheel in some indeterminable pattern. House meanwhile occupied himself by staring out the passenger window and into the cars surrounding them making up interesting back stories for the other drivers and their passengers.

They continued on like this for a good fifteen minutes before House decided he was sick of the awkward silence. He rooted around the floor of the back seat until he found what he was looking for, snatching Cameron's purse from where it sat hiding behind the passenger seat.

Sensing his movement, Cameron watched him discreetly in the rearview mirror as he dug through her black leather Kate Spade handbag. His face clearly displayed disgust as he pulled out a ratty half unwrapped tampon that had clearly seen better days as it had obviously been kicking around the bottom of her purse much too long. After throwing the offending feminine hygiene product over his shoulder and into the backseat, he finally found what he was looking for.

Pulling her white iPod video out of her purse he attached it to the adaptor already plugged into her cigarette lighter. Quickly scrolling through her music library he find the song he had discovered earlier while snooping through her computer and felt the need to revisit. As soon as the song began all the tension from Cameron's posture melted away as she started laughing whole heartedly. In return House simply looked at her with an evaluative expression on his face.

"Really Allison?" he asked critically. "Really?"

Unashamed, Cameron simply responded by singing along.

"_I like big butts and I can not lie  
You other brothers can't deny  
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist  
And a round thing in your face  
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough  
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed  
Deep in the jeans she's wearing  
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring  
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha  
And take your picture  
My homeboys tried to warn me  
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny_."

"I'm speechless," House said simply.

"What?" Cameron asked, as she stopped singing.

"I can honestly say that for the first time in a very long time, I have nothing to say. I just don't even know how to begin to respond to that," House said blinking twice slowly. "I suppose I can begin by saying I had no idea you felt this way. I guess I'm going to have to start watching myself when you're around Cuddy and her impressive derrière. It would be a terrible blow to my ego if you divorced me for my boss. Unless you let me watch of course."

Cameron laughed again as she explained with a smile. "I was in high school when this song initially came out and at the time, we all watched MTV religiously. And considering they only had, oh, seven videos in rotation at any given time, you couldn't help but to know them all by heart. Well that, and then there is that whole thing about the older brothers and guy best friends."

House considered this for a moment before shaking his head, one particular part of her explanation really standing out in his mind. "You were in high school when this song came out? I was already practicing and for several years at that point too. Way to make me feel old," he joked self-deprecatingly.

Cameron just leaned over the center console to give him a placating kiss on the cheek before turning her attention back to the road and the song.

"_I like 'em round, and big  
And when I'm throwin' a gig  
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal  
Now here's my scandal  
I wanna get you home  
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh  
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy  
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys…_"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Shopping should be a four letter word," House muttered as they made their way through the parking lot and towards the mall.

"Last time I checked shopping had eight letters," Cameron replied un-phased by his bellyaching.

"Um hello, the infinitive is _to shop_," he scoffed obnoxiously, "four letters. And here I thought you were smart."

"Well pardon my mistake," she said sarcastically as she held the door open for him to walk through.

"I still don't know why you insisted that I come," House grumbled as he passed through the wall of filtered air which characterized the mall entrance. "The air in here dries out my skin," he complained dramatically.

"We'll stop by the Clinique counter before we leave and get you a nice moisturizer," Cameron replied giving him a pacifying pat on the arm. "And you seemed to come on your own, fairly willingly, if I do remember correctly," she reminded him with a sly grin.

However House didn't deign to respond to her sarcasm as he was distracted by the large costume shop that sprouted up every year for the Halloween season.

"Oh, that reminds me, I wanted to get some stuff to redecorate Cuddy's office," House said energetically as he began to detour towards the Halloween store.

Even though Cameron had quite a few stores on the agenda for the day, the Halloween store not being one of them, she simply rolled her eyes and went to follow him, knowing it would be futile to try to stop him. Sometimes he really did act like the children the costume shop was currently full of, as it was only three days before Halloween.

As always, House was able to quickly move through the crowd. Usually it was because people knew who he was and gave him a wide berth not wanting to get on his bad side, or to even make him aware of their existence at all. But even when in crowds of even people who didn't know him, strangers usually gave the man with a cane the right away. And even if they didn't, House had no problem whacking a few shins or smashing a few toes until he sent the correct message to the rest of the masses. However Cameron did not have the same luxury and found the path House forged quickly closing behind him, meaning that she had to weave in and out of last minute Halloween shoppers all on her own as she attempted to catch up to him.

"Here you are," Cameron said when she finally found him in the back of the store looking at the adult Halloween costumes.

"You know, I always did feel deprived that my parents never let me go to summer camp," he said handing her a package.

It was costume, if there was enough fabric involved to even call it that, and summer camp counselor one at that. It was comprised of crop top with the name Camp Pitchatent splayed across the chest, incredibly short red booty shorts, matching red knee socks, a whistle and a baseball cap.

"You're kidding right?" she asked raising an eyebrow humorlessly.

"Yeah, I bet you weren't the camping type. I bet you were more of a cookie seller, or a prep school girl," he said holding up a sexy girl scout uniform and a school girl uniform with equally short pleated skits and cropped spandex tops.

"I will have you know," she began snatching the costumes from his hands and restocking them in their proper spots, "that I was never a girl scout, I never went to private school, but I did in fact go to summer camp every year from the time I was eight until I was twenty one, six of those years as a counselor."

"So camp counselor costume it is," House said agreeably as he reached out for the costume that she had just put away only to have his hand slapped away.

"But you know what really concerns me out of this whole situation," she continued as if he had never interrupted, "is that you only picked out costumes depicting underage girls, when there are as equally as slutty costumes that don't. Such as this sailor costume or this referee or pirate -" Cameron paused from her rant as she was distracted by the costume. "Actually this pirate costume is kind of cute."

House looked over her shoulder at the picture of the costume she was holding. "That works for me too."

Cameron quickly put the costume away, fighting a blush that was threatening to creep up her cheeks.

"Oh come on, Halloween is the one night of the year that good girls get to get their inner skank on and not be judged for it. It's like a free skank pass," he needled. "I know you have an inner vixen pirate wench just dying to make an appearance."

"Didn't you want to get some fake vomit to stick on Cuddy's desk?" she asked picking up the aforementioned latex regurgitation from a display of other fake bodily fluids, eager to change the subject.

"Fine," House sighed heavily, knowing exactly what she was doing. "No pirate booty for me this year. But you know this is remarkably lifelike," he commented taking the barf and holding it up to the light. "Quick differential diagnosis, what made crash test dummy sick?"

"Honestly," Cameron said looking at it critically, "it looks like the time I puked after my ninth birthday party from an overabundance of Hawaiian punch, extra butter popcorn, Ju-Ju Bees and chocolate covered pretzels."

"Well that is just plain disgusting. I like it."

"You would," she replied teasingly before turning around and letting out a startled yelp as she came face to face with and rubber evil clown mask.

"What's wrong?" House asked.

Cameron had quickly whipped back around and was covering her eyes with one hand and pointing to the mask with the other. "I hate clowns. I mean really **hate **them," she admitted. "As in there is probably nothing more on this planet that I despise more than those maniacal freaks of nature."

"What," House asked taking the mask off the wall and waving it under her nose, "you mean you aren't a fan of Bozo? He just wants to make small children smile, make balloon animals and maybe eat your brains for breakfast."

"House," she said sternly snatching the mask and ripping it from his grip with surprising force and giving him a look that would make interns cry, "I mean it, I don't - like - clowns."

"I believe you," House replied holding his hands up in surrender, a wholly amused look plastered across his countenance.

"I'm going to go next door to the bookstore to see if they have that book Foreman mentioned he wanted," she informed him tersely as she slapped the mask against his stomach. "Meet me there."

"Yes ma'am," he saluted, letting the mask hang loosely from his hand.

Cameron just took one look at him and at the mask he held before shuddering and hurrying out of the store before she could have any more clown encounters. Leaving House alone to get some dangerous ideas.

* * *

A/N I know what you're probably all thinking… she made this huge fuss about how this was the chapter that never ended and its only 2600 some odd words long? Well that's because its actually over 7000 words and still growing, so what I thought was going to be one chapter is now split it up into three chapters because well the other two parts aren't completely done yet and I wanted to get this up… but let me know what you thought and I'll get the next one up ASAP… 


	27. The Deadliest Of Sins

A/N Sorry, I totally would have had this up on Saturday but I was conned into going on a road trip to Fresno yesterday at the last minute for a sorority thing…. No offense to anyone who lives in Fresno, but I cannot stand that city, I've never had a good experience there… yesterday we got stuck behind a convoy of 16 wheelers that the police had blocked off a freeway entrance for that we needed…. Who does that?! Okay rant over… I don't really have anything pertinent to the chapter to say so we'll just move on to part two of our mall adventure…

* * *

It took a bit of searching the aisles, but House eventually found Cameron deep in the arts and architecture section of the bookstore. She was facing away from him, leaning against the shelves deeply engrossed in a book of photography, with a small pile of assorted paperbacks tucked under one arm as she flipped through the pages. 

"I didn't know Foreman was a photography buff," he said sliding up behind her and leaning in close to her ear.

Cameron startled at his close proximity, whipping around as her hand flew up to her chest, causing the paper backs that that arm had been holding the books against her body tumble to the ground with a couple papery thuds. Her eyes narrowed as they landed on him standing there holding a bag from the Halloween store, a large soda and a cat that ate the canary grin.

"He's not," she explained with a glare as she willed her heart to slow to a normal place, "they don't have the book he wants in stock, but they said they would special order it for me. So what did you end up getting?" she asked looking at his bag from the Halloween store.

"A little of this, a little of that," he shrugged. "A couple disembodied appendages, a couple internal organs in specimen jars." He reached into the bad to pull something out, "Oh and a really disgusting-"

"You know what," Cameron interrupted, holding up a hand before he could pull out what he was looking for, "forget I asked. I don't want to be popped as an accessory, when Cuddy comes to kill you."

"Suit yourself," he replied, dropping whatever he was grabbing back into the bag.

"So what took you so long?" she asked looking down at her watch. "I've been in over forty five minutes."

"I was thirsty."

"And that took you almost an hour?" she asked skeptically.

"Do you want some?" he asked ignoring her question by offering her his drink.

"You know you're not supposed to have food or drinks in a book store," she scolded absently as she returned her attention to the book in her hands.

House replied to this by taking an obnoxiously loud slurping sip of his soda right in her ear. Cameron turned around and took the cup from his hand just to shut him up, and then with a roll of her eyes, took a long sip herself as she was in fact thirsty. However her eyes widened when she realized just exactly what she was drinking.

"This is diet," she said turning to him in surprise. "You hate diet coke."

"No I don't," he contradicted.

"We just had a whole conversation two weeks ago where you were making fun of me for super sizing my fries and then ordering a diet coke," she insisted.

"I don't hate diet coke, I just hate hypocrisy," House insisted. "So what are you looking at?"

Cameron knew what he was doing and let him change the subject, finding it endearing that he would get diet instead of regular because he knew she liked it better even if he would deny it until his death. "Oh it's Jake's newest book, it came out last month but with how crazy everything has been I haven't been able to buy it yet," she explained.

"It's your brother's book and he wont just give you a copy?" House asked with a raise of his brow. "Doesn't seem like fitting behavior of your favorite brother."

Cameron laughed, "No, I got my signed copy two weeks before it came out in stores. But I always try to buy at least one copy of all his books, just to do my part in boosting his sales a little bit."

"Isn't that sweet," he said teasingly as he took the book from her hands and started flipping through the pages. "This is actually pretty good."

"I know it's good," Cameron said fiercely protective of her brother, "Jake's extremely talented."

"Whoa there, I didn't mean it like that," House replied amused at her instant reaction. "No need to get all defensive."

Cameron flushed a little at her overreaction and turned back to the book shelves looking for something, "Do you want to see something funny?"

House didn't say anything so she took that as a yes, as she continued to search the titles. Letting out a triumphant _Aha!_ as she found what she was looking for, she turned and handed him yet another book of photography. A quick look at the cover told him that this one was also by her brother.

"Turn to page forty two," she replied to his inquisitive glance.

He did as she asked flipping through the pages until he found what he was looking for, but that didn't mean he knew what he was looking at. The left hand side of the page was black with bold white text in the middle of the page.

-**Superbia**-  
_Flawed is she who is infatuated with the image of herself_.

"Pride?" he asked, translating the Latin as he looked at the photo on the opposite page.

It was a picture of a young woman sitting at a vanity wearing a long Victorian white lace dress. Her body was slumped forward in an awkward yet graceful position as her upper body was draped over the vanity's surface. The woman was turned away from the camera so it captured her long wavy hair cascading in a farce of a waterfall reaching halfway to the floor. Appearing long since disturbed, there was a coat of dust over everything in the room and there were cobwebs connecting the delicate tatted lace of the hem of her dress to the floor as well as covering dainty hand that was placed lifelessly on the table. Her face was turned towards the mirror and her visible reflection, House saw that she was forever looking into her own empty and lifeless eyes, more fitting of a porcelain doll then that a person. It was haunting and captivating, horrific and beautiful at the same time.

"It's a good photo," House said, not sure why she had insisted he look at it. "Although I don't know what's so funny about it. It's more eerie than funny, it's creepy but cool."

"Take a closer look at the model," Cameron insisted pointing to the page.

The first time he had looked at the picture as a whole but this time House held the book up to his face as he studied the model's reflection in the mirror. It was then he noticed the familiarity in the models blue gray eyes.

"Holy crap!" he exclaimed as sudden recognition passed across his face. "It's you!" he shouted almost accusingly, making Cameron laugh at his shocked expression and everyone else in their general vicinity of the book store look at them.

"I was visiting Jake in California one summer and I went to work with him one day," she explained as he studied the picture once more, this time more critically. "But when we got to set, his model for his seven deadly sins series never showed up. He was just going to scrap the shoot and reschedule it for another day when his makeup artist suggested they use me."

House turned the page as he only half listened to her, reading the text before moving onto the photo, which happened to be for gluttony.

-**Gula**-  
_She fills herself with what holds no weight_.

This photo couldn't have been more different than the one before it. She was sitting on the front steps of some dilapidated building seemingly lit by neon lights and was dressed in similar neon colors. Hot pink fish nets under a black mini skirt, and lime green legwarmers tucked over five inch electric blue stilettos. A black cropped tube top was covered by a green shredded netted top that matched her legwarmers and her wrists were host to numerous plastic bangles in an assortment of bright colors. Her severe and dramatic makeup and messy teased hair finished the look of a girl who had spent a hard night at the club.

Her knees together as her lower legs splayed in different directions and her shoulders slumped forward she held a half empty of Jack Daniel's and a lit cigarette between her black manicured fingers of her left hand. In her right hand she negligently held a whole roasted turkey leg with a single large bite out of it. The expression on her face was one of utter boredom, but at the same time there was something in her eyes that made it seem as if she was looking right through you, even from the page.

House looked up from the book and at the woman in front of him hardly believing it was the same person before returning his attention to the book and turning the page once more.

-**Acedia**-  
_The time she lost is never found again_.

The photo for sloth was just as different from the first two as they had been from each other. Taken from above, she way laying down in the middle of a field, slightly obscured by the stalks of tall grass that she was surrounded by as they swayed in the wind. She looked ethereal as the sun reflected off her long hair that framed her face and tumbled over her shoulders in loose curls, giving her the appearance of a radiant glowing halo. She was dressed in a white cotton sundress that ended just above her knees exposing tanned shins and calves as she had her right hip rolled towards camera and her bare left foot tucked behind and over her right ankle. Her arms rested above her head bent slightly, one resting over the other. Her eyes were closed and he could see individual eyelashes resting delicately against bronze sun kissed cheeks. But what really captured his attention was the gentle smile that played across her countenance, as if she didn't have a care in the world.

Once more he felt the need to reconcile the subject of the photograph with the person he had known for years and had been married to for the past two months and living with for three weeks and he tuned back into what she was saying.

"I honestly think that at first he was just humoring his baby sister who wanted to pretend to be a model," she admitted laughingly. "But then he saw the first days proofs and decided I _had_ to do the whole series. He even called my parents to convince them to let me stay in California an extra week so I could do his Seven Holy Virtue series too."

"Are those in here too?" he asked as he turned another page.

"Yup," she replied, resting her head lightly on his arm as she looked at the book over his shoulder.

"Your brother took this shot?!" House exclaimed as he set his eyes on _luxuria, _which he didn't need to know Latin to translate. He need only take one look at that picture to know that lust was the deadliest of all sins.

"Oh it's not that bad, I'm completely covered up," she shrugged off.

"I know, but damn," he said practically drooling over the photo. "Carman Electra has got nothing on you. I'm going to have these framed and put up in my office."

Cameron laughed lightly. "Careful there, I'm only fifteen in those shots."

"You're how old?" he asked his upper lip curling distastefully. For all his teasing earlier in the Halloween store about the costumes, he was no pedophile and it made him uncomfortable thinking what he was thinking about a teenage Cameron, even if he was married to her and was technically allowed to harbor lecherous thoughts of his wife.

"It was the summer before my junior year of high school so I'm fifteen since I was young for my grade," she repeated. "And why are you taking the news so hard, I was the same age as Alex was when we treated her and you had no problem ogling her," she pointed out noticing his discomfort.

"That's different," he insisted. "First of all, I didn't really mean it, I was just enjoying pissing you off, second, she was a professional model, she gets paid a great deal of money to be ogled, and third, she turned out to have testicles."

"Okay," she rebutted, "first of all you did mean it, stop trying to deny it, second, I was modeling for a professional photographer so the fact that I didn't choose to pursue it makes no difference, and third… well I'm not even going to touch number three because that just brings up a whole separate set of issues. And what about Ali then? She was only sixteen or seventeen."

"What was the final diagnosis for Ali's crush?" House asked distractedly, clearly more interested in continuing to flip through the book, looking at Cameron's photos, than pursuing this line of conversation.

"I think Wilson told me it was impaired judgment from coccidioidomycosis, caused by the fungal spores she inhaled during an earthquake in Fresno," Cameron replied after she thought about it for a moment.

"And since when has coccidioidomycosis caused impaired judgment?" he asked.

"It doesn't…" she said slowly, laughing as she came to a realization. "You just told her that to get rid of her. You were just playing with her to get on Cuddy's nerves the whole time."

"It got on your nerves too," House said in way of an affirmation, making Cameron jump slightly when he shut the book with a loud snap. "As far as I'm concerned you look closer to twenty than fifteen in these, you look hot in them, I'm going to buy the book and get them framed, put them in my office, and make everyone else jealous. And there is nothing you can say to stop me."

Cameron stood stunned silent for a half beat by his sudden proclamation as he turned and walked towards the register not even caring if she followed. Snapping back into reality she quickly bent down to pick up the books she had dropped upon his arrival, and jogged to catch up with him. A pleased and amused smile playing around the corners of her lips.

* * *

A/N Gah its five in the morning and I have class in a few hours… I'm far too incoherent to be writing a closing author note... erm... what to say, what to say... part three aka chapter 28 will be up probably late in the week cause it still needs some major work... but i do have a finished snapshot that just needs revising so that will be up before that... feedback inspires me so let me know what you thought!...I'm going to go pass out now… i love you all 


	28. Multiple Paths Of Egress

A/N It was pointed out to me that my description of the Sloth photo was strikingly similar to a painting someone had done on DeviantArt, I went to go look at it and realized that I had in fact seen it before and that it must have unconsciously influenced me as I basically described the exact picture… so yeah my bad… it was totally on accident so I went back and rewrote sloth into something that I'm pretty sure came out of my head lol… I actually like the new version better so you all might want to go check that out super quick…

I have a couple people I have to mention before we begin… first of all Corrin, the love of my life, you know more than anyone that these last three chapters wouldn't have existed without you… who would have thought that getting lost in the Target parking lot 6 months ago would have turned into this… you have truly been invaluable for this whole story but this chapter even more than others… and for blueheronz, the dressing room is all for you… you know what I mean… wink wink

* * *

"What should we get Wilson?" Cameron asked as they ambled through the mall a couple of hours later.

After the book store they had gone to Anthropologie in search of something for Cuddy for Christmas. However, instead of gifts being purchased, Cameron acquired three blouses, four sweaters, a skirt, two pairs of slacks, and a couple scented candles, for an exorbitant amount of money, a point House was not shy about making. After the horrors of women's apparel House insisted he had to go to The Game Stop to recover, where Cameron stood patiently by while House picked out three new games for his PSP for when he had clinic duty and then played the demo version of Halo 3 against a twelve year old for half an hour, both of them pouting when the boys mother came to collect him. Apparently video game shopping worked up an appetite so once they stopped at the framing place to drop off the "prints" of Cameron to be framed, the pair stopped for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory before resuming their shopping.

"Don't care," House stated simply in reference to her question.

"He's your best friend you have to have an opinion, or at least tell me what he might want," Cameron pressed.

House screwed up his mouth in a parody of deep thought before seemingly coming to a decision. "Nope, still don't care. And did you happen to forget the small little fact that he's _Jewish_."

"Maybe we should get him a new collection of ties," Cameron suggested, ignoring him completely. "After all, you are the reason he doesn't have any right now."

"They were ugly, I was doing him a favor," House shrugged as if it were of no consequence.

"But still, did you have to make such mess?" she asked sternly, not bothering to hide the mirth in her eyes as she turned left to go into Nordstrom. "Come on, we're going to replace some of those ties."

House just sighed heavily, but followed her into the high-end department store.

"What do you think about this green one?" Cameron asked holding a tie over her shoulder while she continued to browse. "Greg?"

When he continued to not reply she looked behind her to see what he was doing and had to laugh out loud at what she saw. House had fashioned a makeshift noose out of one the silk ties and was attempting to strangle himself.

"I swear," she exclaimed, snatching the tie from around his neck and tossing it back on the display, "sometimes I think that you're - oh, we should get you a few new blazers for work."

"Wow, A.D.D. much?" House asked as Cameron dropped the ties she was holding and headed towards the racks of jackets. "And I really don't need any new jackets."

"Yes, you do," Cameron contradicted as she looked at tags for sizes. "Some of the ones you have now are practically threadbare."

"No they're not, they're just worn in," he protested even as he followed her around the store.

"If that's what you want to call it," she replied pulling hangers off the rack and draping them over her arm. "And even if they weren't 'worn in,' they don't fit you right anyway."

"What wrong with the way they fit?" House asked, suddenly feeling henpecked.

"You wear a 44 regular, you should really be in a 44 long, you're tall and you have long arms," she said off handedly as she was once again distracted by another display of clothing. "And we might as well get you some new shirts and jeans while we're here."

House sighed as if deeply aggrieved. "But I -"

"Just behave or I'll send you outside to wait and pick out shirts like this for you," she interrupted, picking up a nearby button down that had eyelet ruffled detailing down the front and around the cuffs.

House eyed the shirt critically as she held it up to his chest.

"Welcome to the Caribbean love," he said with his best Johnny Depp swagger.

Cameron laughed lightly as she replaced the offending shirt on the rack. "Yes, wearing that you would certainly give the impression of a peg leg instead of just a bad one," she chuckled.

"You'd get me in that shirt as soon as you wore that pirate costume from earlier to work," House joked.

"Oh yeah?" Cameron asked, looking like she was considering his offer.

"I will wear that shirt if you go buy that costume right now," House bargained, hoping she would take him up on it.

"Keep dreaming," she laughed as she pulled more appropriate shirts, blazers and jeans from the displays. "Here, go try these on."

House scoffed at her demands. "I am not your Ken doll, if you wanted one of those you should have married Chase. You probably could have gotten him into that frilly one."

"If you try everything on, I'll get you Dairy Queen before we go home," she bribed temptingly.

House considered her offer for a moment before taking the proffered clothes "I want hot fudge, nuts and whipped cream and if you so much as comment on fat grams or calories, I'll return it all," he snarked before limping into the dressing room.

"He's a saucy one, isn't he?" the dressing room attendant, who's nametag labeled him as Trevor, asked as he sidled up to Cameron as she stood out in front of the dressing room.

"That's one way to put it," Cameron agreed with a warm smile. "Try on the blue and black graphic tee and the straight legged 7 for all mankind indigo stone washed jeans," she called over the partition.

"The which ones?" House called back having no idea what she was talking about.

"The dark blue ones with the feathering around the pockets," she explained.

"Well then why the hell didn't you just say that in the first place?" he grumbled, not believing he was actually doing this.

"So, wife, girlfriend, friend?" Trevor asked. "Or perhaps secret lover," he added suggestively, making Cameron blush.

"Wife," she replied, almost surprised at how natural her response was.

"Damn," Trevor responded playfully.

"Why?" Cameron asked curiously, as she looked at a rack of belts.

"Because I like saucy," he replied with a wink as he folded clothes.

Cameron laughed enthusiastically until House popped his head out of the dressing room. "It fits, can we go now?"

"Come out here and let me see," she requested, as he shut the door defiantly.

"Why don't you come in," he called, the smirk evident in his voice.

"I'm fairly certain that it's store policy to only have one person in a dressing room at a time," Cameron replied amused.

"Honey, if I happen to go reshelf these sweaters right over there, I am not responsible for anything that happens in my absence," Trevor said quietly with a wink.

Cameron rolled her eyes, but crossed over to the dressing room her husband was in as soon as Trevor turned the corner. She popped her head in to see how the jeans looked on him, but ended up giving a startled yelp when he grabbed her by her upper arm and dragged her inside, closing the door behind her and pinning her against the dressing room wall.

"You scared me," she admonished, "just for that no sprinkles for you."

"I think I'll survive," House replied leaning down to capture her lips with his own.

"What was that for?" Cameron asked as she pulled as much as she could considering that he had her pinned up against the wall.

"You're making me try on clothes, I think I deserve a reward," he said with a smirk as he leaned down to meet her once more.

He kissed her lazily for a moment until he felt her hands make their way down to his waist causing him to startle slightly. He chuckled lightly when he saw that she was just threading a black leather belt though his belt loops.

"You need a new belt," she replied to his questioning look.

"Good to know that was what was at the forefront of your mind."

Cameron shrugged with a half smile as she tucked the front of his shirt in enough so that the stylishly aged and tarnished metal belt buckle was visible. She then turned around and pulled a black pinstriped blazer off the hanger and held it out to help him put it on. Once on, she smoothed the shoulders and lapels and took a step back with an appraising eye.

"Do I meet your criteria for what this years well dressed doctor is wearing?" he asked.

"You'll do," she said as she looked him up and down appreciatively.

His outfit wasn't far off from what he usually wore to work, she knew better than to try to dress him out of his comfort zone, but everything fit just a little bit better and frankly she liked what she saw. And to express her appreciation for his appearance this time she was the one to back him against the dressing room wall wrapping one hand around the back of his neck and standing on her tip toes so that she could reach his lips as she pressed her body against his.

"What was that for?" House asked repeating her earlier question.

This time it was Cameron's turn to smirk. "You look good, you deserve a reward," she said as she reached up to kiss him again.

"Is that right?" he asked with a half grin when she was so close that their noses brushed up against each other as he spoke.

"That's right," she returned with a sly smile of her own. "And perhaps I'm just trying to build a Pavlovian response to looking good."

"That sounds like a good idea, although I have to warn you, I'm a slow learner."

Whatever Cameron's response was going to be was rendered obsolete as House swallowed her words.

"Greg," she muttered against his lips a couple minutes later.

"Mhmm?" he replied not really caring what she had to say as long as kept grinding her hips against his in that most pleasing way.

"I really want you-"

"Yeah…"

"To try these on next," she said pulling away and handing him a new outfit before sliding out of the dressing room.

House stood there in stunned shock for a moment before sticking his head out of the dressing room.

"You're a damned tease."

Cameron just flashed him a sultry smile which had House needing to take a few deep breaths before trying on the next outfit. Maybe shopping wasn't so bad after all.

It was a good forty minutes and several trips into the dressing room later that Cameron found herself alone as she waited in line to pay for the clothes she had picked out for House and the fierce black pinstriped stilettos she had been distracted by on her way to the register. The diagnostician had escaped as soon as he had finished trying on clothes declaring that he would wait outside before she found a whole new pile of clothes for him to try on. But not before, much to Cameron's surprise, he had tossed her his credit card to pay for the clothes.

Frankly, Cameron was glad House had made a run for it, as she needed the time to refocus herself. She didn't know what had gotten into them in the dressing room. He started it, but she had no problem furthering, well, whatever it was that they were doing. And if she was actually being honest with herself, she had started it that morning with the kiss on the couch. but she didn't expect it to create such a shift in their relationship. She didn't know what was going on but she knew that people in fake relationships did not grope each other in department store dressing rooms.

She was so focused on trying to figure out what everything meant, or if it even had to mean anything at all that she didn't even notice the woman at the register trying to get her attention until the man behind her in line tapped her on the shoulder. She blushed and apologized and decided obsessing on the afternoon wouldn't solve anything and decided to push it from her mind.

Cameron exited the department store carrying several bags of clothing and stopped as she attempted to figure out where House might have run off too. However it didn't take her long as she spotted him laying on the sample mattress out in front of the tempurpedic store.

Wandering over she saw the bag from the framing store next to him on the mattress and realized he had at least gone to pick up the pictures before going to take a nap. She collapsed on the mattress next to him, completely unconcerned with the glances the employees at the mattress store where giving them.

"Comfy?" she asked with a smile.

"Very," he replied opening one eye, inspecting her and the bags she was carrying. "What else did you get?" he asked suspiciously, eyeing the bag that had her new shoes in it.

She reached into the bad a pulled out one of the heels, holding it out for his inspection.

"Sexy," he said, "but I don't think they're in my size."

Cameron just rolled her eyes and slipped the shoe back into the box and stood, picking up all the bags she was carrying

"You ready?" she asked waiting for him to follow her.

"No," he replied closing his eyes again. "I'm going to stay here, you come back and get me when you're ready to go home."

"Oh okay," she replied beginning to walk away. "It wont be too long since the only place I still want to go is Dairy Queen," she called over her shoulder, not having to look back to know that House had gotten up and was following her.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The sun was already starting to set by the time they exited the mall and started walking down one of the many car lined parking lot rows. Cameron was currently carrying bags from the book store, Anthropologie, Nordstrom's, and the framing place, while House carried a single bag from the Halloween store, with his bag from The Game Stop inside.

"Damn," Cameron said suddenly as she paused for a second in the middle of the parking lot.

"What?" House asked looking over at her.

"I had meant to go to Victoria's Secret today to get some new bras," she remembered. "But, I'm tired and ready to go. I'll just come back another time."

"If we go to Dairy Queen again, I'm down to come," he offered thinking about the Brownie Earthquake he had just consumed.

"And going to Victoria's Secret isn't enough of an incentive to come on its own?" Cameron asked turning to look at him in surprise.

House had a snarky reply all ready to go, but didn't get a chance to use it as Cameron spoke again.

"I don't think we parked this far down," she announced, stopping in the middle of the aisle to look around for her car. "Did I park more that way?" she asked gesturing to her left with an arm laden with bags.

"I don't know. I always thought it was the driver's responsibility to remember where the car was parked," he replied obnoxiously.

Cameron just sighed in frustration and cut between a white Cadillac Escalade and a maroon Honda Accord, not bothering to look behind her to even see if House was following her, she was tired, her feet hurt from walking around all day and her arms were really starting to burn and at this point she didn't really care if he got left behind. However, he was right behind her, which she discovered when he reached out and grabbed her roughly by the upper arm and jerked her back towards him. She was about to ask him what the hell was his problem, when a teenager in a BMW blasted past the SUV she was about to step out from behind.

"Jesus Allison!" House exclaimed. "Didn't your mother ever teach you to look both ways before you cross the street?"

Cameron looked suitably sheepish and made a point to be more careful as she walked through the parking lot in the direction she thought her car was in. However, it soon became apparent to both of them that she truly had no idea where she had parked and they were now wandering aimlessly through the parking lot.

"Oh where, or where, has your little car gone, oh where, oh where can it beeeee?" House started singing as he followed Cameron watching the tension in her shoulders multiply exponentially the longer she looked.

"So not helping," she growled through grit teeth.

"Now, now," he replied condescendingly, "there is no need to get all worked up. As someone who alphabetizes their DVD collection you surely you must have noticed if we were parked in Donald six or Goofy two."

"Where the hell is my car!" Cameron shouted in frustration. "Wait a second," she said slowly as she came to a realization. " We entered the mall in the mens department and left through house wares. We're on the wrong side of the building!" She dropped her bags and shook her hands in the air a the parking lot gods. "DAMN YOU AND YOUR MULTIPLE PATHS OF EGRESS!"

House brought his hands together in front of him and looked up at the sky as he too spoke to the parking lot gods. "Oh almighty and powerful gods of egress; grant me the wisdom to in future remember where the car is parked, the strength to walk back through the mall and the serenity not to strangle my wife."

Cameron didn't respond but simply picked up her dropped bags and stalked off in the direction she now knew her car to be. House chuckling as he followed her.

Finally finding her black Jetta she popped the trunk and deposited her many purchases inside. House added his single bag before speaking.

"You do realize you didn't actually get any Christmas shopping done right?"

Cameron sighed tiredly as she shut the trunk with a bang tossed her car key to him and walked to the passenger side of the car. "Maybe I'll just shop online this year."

* * *

A/N Good lord, that one day took five chapters to get though, three more than I had originally intended… It was the mini plot arc that wouldn't end….And I can't say I'm not excited that its over so I can move on to other things… anyways…the next chapter is almost done so it should be up sometime later this week… so let me know what you think! 


	29. Trick

A/N Yay for two new chapters in one week! That's really all I have to say at this juncture so I'll just shut up and let you get to it…

* * *

It may have been Halloween, but it could have been any other day in the Diagnostic Department of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. They had released their patient that morning so the group passed the interim pursuing their customary activities. Chase nibbled on the end of a pen while he worked on a crossword puzzle, Foreman would look at his watch every twenty minutes and sigh while he read a journal, Cameron sipped on a lukewarm cup of coffee while she did House's paperwork, and House… well no one knew exactly what House was doing sequestered away in his office with the blinds closed. 

Cameron stood up from her desk stretching quickly before she picked up the large pile of files containing documents that required House's signature. Walking towards his office, she flipped through the stack to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything. She clearly wasn't paying attention which was made obvious when she glanced up to see a clown looming in the doorway between the office and the conference room wearing a lab coat covered in blood and holding a bloody hack saw. She let out a blood curdling scream that would have made any Hitchcock heroine proud, as she dropped the top half of her pile of files on the floor.

"That was great you should have seen your face," House said through his enthusiastic laughter as pulled the clown mask off his head.

Once she realized what had just happened, Cameron retaliated by whacking him repeatedly with the half of the files she didn't drop, and soon loose papers were flying everywhere as they fell out of the folders.

"That. Wasn't. Funny!" she shouted as angry tears started to roll down her cheeks.

"Ow. Allison. Erg!" He stopped laughing as she continued her assault and he got a good look at her face. "Wait, are you crying?"

"Why would you do that?!" she cried, abandoning the files in a jumbled pile on the floor in favor of pummeling his chest with her fists.

"Gah, Allison…" House said, raising his arms to protect himself from the petite hands she was currently was hammering him with. For such a small woman she really packed a punch. "Cameron," he tried again, hoping she would react to her last name, "it was just a joke. Calm down. Ack Allison!"

House finally just grabbed her around the shoulders and trapped her in a bear hug. He didn't even care that later she would be pissed off again when she realizes that he got fake blood all over what he knew to be the new eighty nine dollar sweater she had bought at the mall a couple days prior. At this point, he just wanted to stop her from lashing out at him.

She continued to struggle against him for another few moments, but when she realized she could no longer get enough momentum to get a good blow in, her hands dropped helplessly to her side.

"Good lord, what was that?" House rebuked, shocked at her violent outburst. "It was just a prank, no reason to go all postal on me. Mental note, Cameron doesn't like to be scared. Remind me never to throw you a surprise party, who knows what you will do."

Cameron's shoulders stopped shaking as her tears momentarily abated and she looked up into his eyes. He promptly stopped his rambling when he saw coldness of her expression even with the wet tear tracks down her cheeks and the incensed fury behind her eyes.

"I _hate_ you," she stated with such calm and clear conviction that he immediately released his hold on her.

Without another word she turned and fled the conference room bursting back out into heart-wrenching sobs right before she passed through the door, leaving three stunned men in her wake.

Cuddy who had been coming up to nag House about his clinic hours stepped out of the elevator just in time to see a hysterical Cameron burst out of the conference room and storm up the hall. Marching towards the department she wasn't sure what she was expecting to find, but it sure wasn't House standing there wearing a bloody lab coat, a hack saw in one hand and clown mask in the other and a completely shell shocked look on his face while surrounded by dozens of spilled files.

"What the hell did you do?!" the dean exclaimed as she took in the scene in front of her.

House looked at her and with complete sincerity replied, "I think I fucked up."

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

When Wilson's office door burst open without so much as a knock, he lifted his head wearily expecting it to be House. As it turned out, he was only half right in his assumption. It was in fact _a_ House, just not the one he had anticipated, and certainly he hadn't imagined that she would be in utter hysterics, completely covered in what appeared to be blood.

"Allison?" Wilson asked anxiously, as he got out of his chair and practically flew across the room to where she was standing. The two of them usually made a point to stick to formalities at work, but as it was glaringly obvious that she was not here on work related business, he made an exception. "What's wrong? What happened? Are you all right?"

Cameron didn't respond verbally, but instead threw herself into his arms, clutching his lab coat as if it was her only lifeline as she cried. Wilson wrapped his arms around her comfortingly, both confused and disturbed by her physical and emotional state.

"Are you physically hurt?" he asked automatically switching into doctor mode first.

She shook her head in the negative, keeping her face buried in his shoulder.

"Is House or anyone else physically hurt?" he continued.

"No," she choked out against his chest. "But I wish he was, I hate him."

Things suddenly became a bit clearer as he now knew somewhat of what he could possibly be dealing with. Having a good idea of what he was going to find, he swiped his finger through the 'blood' that was now being transferred to his lab coat. Taking a quick sniff of the sticky substance, he confirmed that it was indeed the fake stuff. To be more specific, it was House's patent pending homemade imitation blood, composed of corn syrup and Blastin' Berry Cherry Kool-Aid.

The reason Wilson happened to privy to such information, was because once upon a time, when it was that special time of year when the new interns took the full tour of the hospital, House used to take great pleasure in covering himself in the same viscous solution before climbing into one of the cadaver drawers in the morgue. As soon as he would hear the tour group walk into the room, he would start moaning and calling out 'help me' and 'please, it's so cold in here,' until one of the poor unsuspecting newbies would open the drawer, at which point, House would use one of any number of tactics to scare the hell out of them. House has since been banned from the morgue and is still forced to take a paid vacation every year during orientation.

After his quick jaunt down memory lane, Wilson pushed the door to his office shut and shuffled, with Cameron still clinging onto him, over to his desk. He picked up the phone and quickly dialed the extension to his secretary, asking her to reschedule his three o'clock. Fortunately, it was just a meeting with one of the guys from billings and not a patient. That taken care of, he then shuffled himself and his own personal Allison Cameron straight jacket, over to the couch and sat them down carefully as she was still holding him so tightly that it restricted his movement.

"Allison," he pried gently, as she continued to sob despairingly, "what did House do to you?"

"He… …bastard… …knew… …clowns… …hate… …files… …scared… …not… …laughed… …funny… …jerk…" Cameron tried to explain unsuccessfully through her bawling.

"What?" Wilson asked, even more confused. Half of what she said couldn't be understood because she was crying too hard the other half was muffled by the fact she still had her face buried in his chest. "Allison, you have to calm down, I can't understand you. I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

"I'm ::_hic_:: sorry ::_hic_:: Jimmy ::_hic_:: to bother you. ::_hic_:: I just ::_hic_:: didn't know ::_hic_:: where to go," she apologized through her hiccups, slowly pulling away and sitting up as she wiped the tears from her cheeks as she concentrated on catching her breath.

"It's okay Allison," he reassured her sincerely as he reached for a box of tissues to hand her one. "That's what friends are for, and besides no one understands what it's like to have to deal with House more than I do, right?" he joked gently. However, this turned out to be not the correct course of action, since instead of receiving the smile he had been aiming for, it just seemed to set her off again.

"I just ::_hic_:: hate him ::_hic_:: so much ::_hic_:: sometimes!" she exclaimed riling herself up again. "He's such an ::_hic_:: inconsiderate ::_hic_:: bastard!" And with that she burst back into full fledged waterworks. "And now I'm getting mascara and fake blood all over your shirt!" she sobbed angrily at herself. "I'm sorry Jimmy, I promise I'll wash it tonight and get the stains out."

"Don't worry about it, its fine. I don't care about the shirt," Wilson insisted, at a complete loss for what to do. It was clear she was disconsolate, so he did the only thing he could do, be a good friend let her cry while he held her and rubbed her back soothingly.

He glanced nervously at his office door, suddenly wishing he had thought to lock it earlier and desperately hoped that no one would walk into his office right now. It didn't take a genius to know that rumors would fly should someone come in to find his best friend's wife, whom he was currently living with, crying in his arms, especially with his reputation, when really he was just one friend comforting another.

The next time her tears stopped and her breathing slowed to something resembling normal, it was because she had worn herself out so much that she had fallen asleep. At least Wilson was pretty sure that she had just fallen asleep. Either that or she had passed out from hyperventilating.

Regardless, once Wilson was sure that she wouldn't wake up easily, he pried the hand that even in her sleep was still clutching his lab coat away gently and slid out from under her, lying her down on the couch so she would be more comfortable. He then retrieved the blanket that he kept in the office from the days he would spend the night after fighting with Julie, and draped it over her. Once she was settled, Wilson walked out onto the balcony he shared with House, lightly hopped over the partition and marched into the office in righteous indignation at…

Well he wasn't exactly sure why he was mad at House, but it had to be good for the effect it had on Cameron.

"What did you do to her?" Wilson demanded the second he walked through the door of House's office.

House looked up from where he was sitting at his desk with his head resting on the table top and buried beneath his arms.

"She went to you?" he asked, visibly shaken by the whole thing, and glad she went somewhere safe and hadn't left the hospital and was wandering the streets completely unhinged.

"Yes, she came to me. And she is currently on the couch in my office where she cried herself to sleep, now what the hell did you do to her?"

House sighed deeply, for a moment he considered giving Wilson the run around and making him work for the story, but quickly decided he didn't have the energy for it and chose to just tell him the story.

"So you know how we went to the mall this weekend and went to the Halloween store to get that stuff to mess with Cuddy?"

Wilson nodded, after all he had helped House earlier when he 'decorated' the dean's office for the holiday.

"Well while we were there, Cameron saw the mask," he explained nodding at the rubber clown head that was lying deflated on the corner of his desk on top of the bloodied hack saw, "and said that she hated clowns more than anything else on the planet. So I thought it would be funny to get it and scare her with it."

"She tells you it's her biggest fear, so you decide to exploit it for your own amusement?!" Wilson exclaimed angrily on Cameron's behalf. "And at work in front of her co-workers."

"Well I didn't really think she was going to go all…" he paused as he tried to think of the appropriate term, "_Cuddy _on me!" House shouted back. "I figured I would scare her, the rest of us would laugh at her, she would get pissy, storm down to the lab for a couple hours and be over it by the time we were ready to go home. Instead, she completely overreacted and started beating me with a pile of files, and then deciding that that wasn't excessive enough, abandoned those to pound on me with her fists for awhile. I had to grab hold of her just so she would stop hitting me, cause let me tell you I'm going to be bruised tomorrow."

"She hit you with a pile of files?" Wilson repeated, trying to picture the scene in his head.

"Flotsam and Jetsam are still trying to clean up the aftermath."

Wilson glanced into the conference room to see that Chase and Foreman were both sitting on the floor sorting through several piles of loose papers as they tried to figure out what went where.

"Do you know the kind of danger of paper cuts I was in?" House asked pointedly.

"Well, she must have a pretty damn good reason for reacting that way," Wilson defended her, not letting House turn it around and make himself the victim. "I was afraid she was going to go into a full fledged panic attack. As it was she was crying and shaking so hard I couldn't get an explanation from her. Honestly, why would you do that to her? Don't you ever think?!"

"Well, she should have known better than to tell me what her biggest fear is," House defended himself once more, trying to pass off some of the blame. "She should know me better than that."

"And did it ever occur to you that perhaps she told you because she trusts you enough to tell you her fears and to expect to not have them exploited?" Wilson retaliated.

House instantly deflated. He hadn't thought of that.

"You're an asshole," Wilson said resignedly.

"I know," House replied, putting his face back in his hands. "And for once I actually feel like a total asshole too."

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A/N And there we have it… once more I had issues shutting up and this chapter got really long so once again, I chopped it in half… so next time we shall find out just why Cameron reacted the way she did I know it may seem extreme but anyone who has an honest to god phobia will understand that it isn't…and also see what it takes for House to get back into her good graces…. So let me know what you thought! 


	30. Or Treat

A/N Wow, the big 3-0! Hehe… I feel like I should have a party for reaching a milestone or something lol… although I find it funny that at one point I had this story outlined at 37 chapters… there is no way in hell I could finish this story in 7 chapters haha… well I'll stop blabbing and let you read the mystery behind Cameron's clown phobia is revealed…

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House sat behind Wilson's desk as he observed Cameron's sleeping form. There was a certain tension about her, even in her unconscious state that he was not proud of knowing he caused. Usually she looked completely peaceful when she was asleep, her lips parted slightly as she breathed through her mouth, her limbs stretched out in different directions as she took up all the space on the bed that he wasn't, and sometimes that space as well. Instead there was a crease between her eyes and her lips were slightly pursed, she was curled into a protective ball, her hands clutching the blanket Wilson had laid over her to her chest.

A part of him wanted to wake her up and end her restless sleep, but the other more self preserving part of him wanted to put of the inevitable as long as possible. He could already see how the looming conversation would go laid out in front of him.

See Cameron.  
See Cameron yell.  
Shout Cameron, shout!

See House.  
See House apologize.  
Justify House, justify!

House groaned lightly to himself, starting to wish he had brought his game boy with him to keep himself entertained and to keep his mind off of the impending exchange with his disgruntled wife. Violent outbursts were not usually her first inclination, but apparently it had been today, so he wasn't sure exactly what to expect when she did finally wake up.

He had resorted to emptying all of the packages of Skittles he had stolen from the nurses station that they had out for Halloween, onto Wilson's desk and was arranging them in neat rows based on color and quantity to keep himself amused. But he stopped when he felt someone eyes boring into his scull. Looking up he confirmed that Cameron had indeed woken up and was shooting daggers from her eyes. She was still pissed, but he didn't feel that he was in danger of her lunging over the desk to strangle him the cord of Wilson's phone, so he considered that an improvement.

"You want some?" he offered, pointing to the candy on the desk. "I'll even let you have some of the red ones."

She didn't respond so he just opened another one of the fun size packages of the candy and began placing the colorful confections in their corresponding categories. Apparently this was not a C situation in Wilson's FCJ program of apologies.

They remained like that for several long minutes, Cameron glaring and House sorting while pretending he didn't notice or care that he was being glared at. Quickly growing tired of the current state of affairs, he decided to try the candy thing anyways and scooped up half of the pile of candy and dropped them into his coat pocket and then grabbed the other half and carried them over to couch where she was still laying down. He gestured for her to hold out her hand which she did with a roll of her eyes, knowing an olive branch when she saw one. She raised an eyebrow when she noticed he only gave her the lime and grape ones.

"What, don't you like the green and purple ones?" Cameron asked dryly as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple of red, orange, and yellow Skittles and popped them into his mouth.

"What can I say, I only like the warm side of the color wheel," he joked cautiously.

"So you only like to taste half the rainbow," she returned making a play on the slogan, unable to resist joking back, even if she was still pissed.

"I'm only into ROY not G BIV," House agreed with a grin, thanking a god that he didn't believe in that Cameron was so forgiving, because he wasn't really looking forward to a night on the couch, or spooning with Wilson on the futon.

Cameron smirked slightly but didn't respond, her eyes darting over to the window. House stood there awkwardly for a moment, not exactly sure what to do. He was searching for something to say when she swung her feet off the couch so that she could toe off her new pumps, wincing slightly as they weren't even remotely close to being broken in. She didn't sit up, but when she brought her legs back onto the couch she pulled them in close enough to her chest that he would have enough room to sit down next to her.

It wasn't exactly an invitation, but House would take it.

"You know," House said conversationally as he grabbed her ankles so that he could pull her now bare feet into his lap, "a bag of Skittles is like a high school social order."

"Excuse me?" Cameron asked, having no idea what he was talking about.

"At the top of the social ladder is red," he said sagely. "The cheerleaders, preps, jocks."

"Clearly," she agreed, laughing.

"Lemon is the quirky kids," he continued, using his thumbs to rub right under the ball of her foot, having noticed her pained expression when she took off her shoes. "The class clowns, possibly theater, maybe anchor and key club kids. Refreshing and unique in their own ways."

"Of course," she smiled.

"Orange make up the bulk of the high school population. You can take them or leave them, but they help fill up the bag." He moved right on to the next flavor without waiting for her to comment, "Lime on the other hand are the kids that you pick second to last during gym. You don't really want them, but you still want sugar and it's either that or grape."

"What's wrong with grape?" Cameron asked innocently through her giggles.

"You would ask that," he retorted disdainfully. "Grape are the special ed kids that the school re-mainstreams into the general population. No one really wants them there but no one has the balls to just throw them out either. So they just linger at the bottom of the bag until they're eventually aged out."

Cameron gasped in shock even as she tried to stifle her laughter. "That's terrible!"

"Don't try to deny that it's the not the truth," he countered with a grin. "And then of course there is the alternative Skittle hierarchy."

"How does that work," she asked.

"Well then you have the Tropical Skittles."

"Oh no," Cameron laughed, only imagining where he was going to go with this.

"You have banana-berry," he began. "The tech nerd of a high school. Necessary, but kind of gross. Then you have kiwi-lime who is that hot slut that spends her junior year trying to screw the carpentry teacher. She looks good, but leaves a nasty taste in your mouth."

At this point Cameron wasn't even trying to restrain her laughter and the sound of it only spurned House on.

"Strawberry-watermelon is student body president, stands out in a crowd and is generally well liked. Mango-peach is every high school's token gay dude. I don't really think that one needs an explanation."

"No," Cameron managed to say through her laughter.

"And the passion punch is the…" he paused as he tried to think of an appropriate high school stereotype. "Passion punch are the cock teases, it seems like its going to be really good at first but then it leaves you unfulfilled and wanting more."

Cameron could barely breath at this point she was laughing so hard, but that wasn't about to stop House from taking it one step further.

"Then you have Sour Skittles, which is clearly an inner city high school-"

"No… stop… please," Cameron exclaimed laughing. "I don't even want to know."

House shrugged as if to say 'suit yourself.'

"So what is it exactly, that you're trying to tell me by only giving me the green and purple ones?" she asked once she had caught her breath, but was still chuckling lightly.

"Oh, I gave those to you, because I have no doubt that in high school you were one of those rare red's that would talk to the green and purples just so they wouldn't feel bad about themselves," House explained easily.

One eyebrow went up as one side of her mouth turned down, but she didn't contest the validity of his statement either which made him smirk in that all knowing way of his. But he let this go in favor of turning the conversation towards the more serious as he reached out to grab her other foot.

"So, were you planning to tell me why you went crazy earlier?" he asked nonchalantly.

"No, I wasn't planning on it," she replied contritely.

"I think I am within my rights in wanting to know why I'm going to be covered in bruises tomorrow."

"You deserved it," she said, not sounding the least bit sorry.

"I never doubted that," he said truthfully, "but that doesn't mean I still don't want to know why I'm going to look like a battered spouse."

Cameron sighed and closed her eyes at the magic he was working with his hands as he rubbed her feet. and popped a couple more of her social reject Skittles into her mouth before beginning.

"When I was seven, my parents went to a dinner party at my oldest brother's house, leaving Alex who was thirteen at the time in charge of me and Brian. Normally we would have had a babysitter, but since they were only going to be a couple blocks away, they figured it would be okay. I had a really overactive imagination when I was little and was very prone to suggestion, so my parents were always careful about what they let me watch on TV. But of course my brothers didn't care and let me watch a movie with them all about crazy killer clowns from outer space. They saw that I was getting scared so they started going on and on about how they're real and going to come get me and eat my brains. They basically tormented me all night until it was my bedtime and sent me to my room," she explained not looking him in the eye.

"I could see where that would give a seven year old nightmares, but that was over twenty years ago," House interjected when she paused, still not understanding Cameron's extreme reaction.

"I know it was. My story isn't finished yet," she replied sharply, rewarding him with another glare that quickly shut him up. "I go to bed already scared, but I'm petrified when I hear something scratching against my window. After a few minutes of hiding under my blankets, I finally gather up the courage to look and I see a clown standing outside my window with a flashlight under its face, which even more terrifying considering my bedroom is on the second floor. So of course, I flip out completely and run screaming from the room and am going to go down stairs to find my brothers, but as soon as I leave my room I see there is another clown standing at the end of the hallway with a butcher knife."

"That's not too cool," House understated.

"No, it's not," she agreed as she continued her story. "I ended up running into my parents room and into their walk-in closet. Now their closet is so big that they actually keep a dresser in there and I ended up pushing it in front on the door to barricade myself in. At this point, I'm having a complete melt down and am screaming hysterically and now my brothers know they have taken it too far. They try for a good half an hour to talk me out of there, but I just start screaming every time they try to reason with me, because in my mind I'm convinced that the evil clowns had somehow taken control of their bodies and were trying to lure me out so they could kill me."

House couldn't retain a small laugh at this, but the scowl Cameron shot at him was remarkably sobering.

"By now, Alex knows there is no way he is not getting in trouble for this and gives in and calls my parents to come home and get me out of the closet. But even they can't get me to calm down and they can't get the door open either since the dresser was in the way. And to be honest, even if I hadn't still been crying behind my mom's shoe rack, I doubt I would have been able to move the dresser again. Not without my adrenaline going as hard as it was going when I ran in there in the first place, sure that two killer clowns were going to disembowel me."

"So how did they get you out?" House asked, completely absorbed in her story.

"My dad actually had to break the closet door off its hinges." Cameron chuckled humorlessly, "Which of course sent me back into fits because I thought the clowns had just tired of trying to lure me out and were now forcibly coming into get me. It was weeks before I could sleep in my room by myself and I had nightmares for months. I still can't watch anything on TV with a clown in it and I have to avoid the pediatric ward when they have the clown come in to entertain the kids."

"What did you parents do to your brothers?"

"Oh my Dad gave them both a good smack upside the head for that one. Especially when they found out that Brian had used the ladder to climb onto the roof of the garage to stand at my window, and when my Mom found out that Alex had actually grabbed one of her real knifes out of the kitchen…" Cameron's eyes widened at the memory of her mothers anger. "They were also grounded for all three months of summer since it was June and they were basically my personal slaves. To this day, if I want something from Brian, I just have to say 'remember that time you traumatized me for life' and he will basically do anything I ask," she reminisced with a slight smile.

"So I guess I should return IT to Blockbuster, and I should give someone else those tickets to the circus," House joked, seeing her sense of humor returning.

"Yeah, probably," she joked back.

They were both quiet for a few minutes neither of them looking at the other as House continued to massage her feet, eventually moving up her legs to massage her calves.

House spoke breaking the silence. "I'm an ass-"

"I noticed," she interjected.

"-but I'm not a sadist," he continued ignoring her interruption. He looked at her, "I didn't mean to play on childhood traumas."

"I know," she replied softly, meeting his gaze as they both feel back into silence.

Suddenly finding the print above Wilson's couch extremely interesting, House had to look away from her searching gaze, suddenly feeling very exposed. He seemed to be contemplating something, coming to a decision before finally speaking again.

"I can't eat Jell-O!" he exclaimed, startling Cameron.

"What?" she asked at the apparent non sequitur.

"I can't eat Jell-O," he announced again. "You don't like clowns. I can't eat Jell-O."

"How can you have a fear of Jell-O and work in a hospital?" Cameron asked slightly confused, but also slightly amused.

"I didn't say I'm scared of Jell-O, now that would just be silly," House said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. "I said I can't _eat_ it. There is a difference."

"Of course, my mistake," she replied in false placation. She waited knowing there was more to the story, but also knowing he would tell her when he was ready.

"I was four," he began, rewarding her patience, "and since I had been good all day, my mom had made me Jell-O men. She cut out the shapes using the gingerbread man cookie cutter, they were my favorite," he explained when he saw her questioning look. "It was when my dad was stationed in California and my older cousin Jerry, who was nine at the time, was staying with us for a couple weeks. I was sitting at the kitchen table with Jerry and my father and was trying to eat my Jell-O men, but every time I tried to take a bite, Jerry would start screaming and begging as if it was the Jell-O that was alive and pleading with me not to eat it. I haven't eaten Jell-O since."

Cameron was horrified. "Your dad was sitting right there, why didn't he stop your cousin?!"

"He thought it was funny," House replied, bitterness seeping into his tone. "He laughed at me the more upset I got. At least until I started crying and threw the plate on the floor. Then he got angry and said that if I was going to waste good food then I didn't deserve dinner and sent me to my room."

"You were four!" Cameron exclaimed, outraged. She had known that he didn't have the best relationship with his father and suddenly the reasons why were becoming much more clear.

House just shrugged as if it was of no consequence.

Cameron felt righteous anger and a fierce protectiveness swell in her chest for the small defenseless child, that as hard as it was to fathom, House once was. But seeing as how the man in question was staring awkwardly at anything but her, she knew the last thing he would want was to further discuss it in any way shape or form. He had told her his Jell-O story as a peace offering, as a way to tell her that he understood how she felt, not for her sympathy and he wouldn't appreciate that or her indignation at this point.

So instead she gently pulled her feet out of his lap and shifted around so that she was facing the same way and nestled up against his side. She felt his body tense when she first rest her head on his chest, but it was only a moment before he relaxed and began running his fingers through her hair.

Neither of them knew how long they were laying like that, but Cameron was almost back to sleep when House finally spoke.

"Allison," he started hesitantly, "I'm-"

"I know," she interrupted before he could finish his sentence. She didn't need to hear him say it to know it. "You ready to go home?"

"Aren't I always?" he replied.

"Stupid question," she admitted with a light laugh as she climbed off of the couch, careful not to jostle his bad leg.

Together, they made their way out of Wilson's office stopping by their own to gather their respective belongings. The department was empty as Chase and Foreman had already taken off for the day, probably to escape act two incase House's apology didn't go well.

"I'm not in the mood to cook tonight," she called towards the office as she packed up her laptop. "I vote that we go home, order a pizza, watch the Twilight Zone Halloween marathon on the Sci-fi channel, turn off the lights and pretend that we're not home and eat the candy I bought for the Trick or Treaters."

House poked his head through the doorway. "Have I told you lately that you're perfect?"

Cameron just laughed in response. "All set?" she asked.

"Yeah, one sec," he replied. House disappeared back into the office to turn off his desk lamp, about to turn to leave, he hesitated, then snatched the clown mask off of his desk and tossed it into the trash.

Now he was ready to go home.

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A/N Once more I have to dedicate this chapter to Cornorama since she is responsible for most of the funny in this chapter, and for letting me be codependent on her since I've found I can't post a chapter without her seal of approval these days…lol… the next chapter is just about ready to post, so let me know what you thought about this one! 


	31. Blankets and Toast

A/N I wanted to dedicate this chapter too all you reviewers out there… you guys never cease to amaze me… not just the amount of reviews but the _quality_ of reviews just astound me… And that's not to say I don't love all my reviews cause I understand not having much time to say more than "I like it" but the fact that so many of you leave in depth reviews really telling me what you like and don't like about a chapter and asking intelligent questions and picking up on the little things I insert into chapters…. Anyways, I'm rambling, but this is the third fandom I've written for and by far you guys are the best readers, which I can honestly say is why I think this is the fastest and most consistently I've written a story… cause I've pretty much temporarily abandoned my other WIPs to work on this one cause you guys are so freaking awesome…. Okay so enough from me, big hugs and enjoy!

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Sunday arrived as it always does after Saturday, bringing with it movie night. If you asked any of its participants, none of them would be able to tell you exactly how movie night became a tradition, but every Sunday since Cameron and Wilson had moved in a month ago, anyone looking for the three doctors would find them in House's living room, the couple lounging together on the couch and Wilson reclining in the easy chair next to them watching a couple DVDs from his extensive collection.

Cameron had won at rock paper scissors - the official method of decision making on movie night - and therefore got to pick the first movie. _Come What May _had been her shower song that morning and so Moulin Rouge ended up being her movie pick of the night.

After popping the disc in the DVD player, Cameron passed the time waiting for it to sync up by going into the kitchen and making herself a large bowl of ice cream.

"You know, if I wasn't here to witness it with my own eyes, I never would believe it," Wilson mentioned as Cameron walked back into the room and sat down on the couch next to House.

"Believe what?" she asked taking a big bite of her chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that she had smothered with both caramel and marshmallow fluff toppings.

"That you have no problems keeping up with House and I when it comes to eating junk food, and then go beyond that and eat it on your own," he said referring to the ice cream in her lap. "Personally I'm still full from dinner. How the hell do you eat like that and stay so skinny."

"I don't eat like this every day," she defended herself. "Plus, I've got great genes," she laughed, scooping up a large spoonful and offering it to House.

"She is just a healthy eater poser," House said once he had swallowed the mouthful she fed him. "She eats the salads at work to trick people into thinking that that's the way she eats all the time."

Cameron was about to give House another spoonful, but then thought better of it after his jibe, causing him to make a small noise of disappointment when she redirected the spoon to her own mouth.

"I eat the salads at work because they're good for me," she retorted through a mouthful of dessert. "And its perfectly normal for a person to happen to like salads as well as ice cream. Besides have you seen the selection in the cafeteria? The salads are a safe bet…"

"No, your safe bet is bringing in the left over cold pizza that you have such an affinity for from home, all the salads are, is a PR move so that you don't feel like a hypocrite when you tell the fatties that come through the clinic that they need to improve their exercise and eating habits," he replied grabbing her hand that was holding the spoon and guiding it back to his mouth. "You know, I think there are some Oreos in the cupboard that would go really well crumbled over that."

"Yes, because my whole day and personality is all a carefully crafted ruse to fulfill some devious plan. Although, I don't know how much public relations work I could possibly be doing cached away in your office everyday at lunch," she said, making both men chuckle although for opposite reasons. "And you ate the last of the Oreos and didn't tell me so I didn't put them on the list when Jimmy got groceries yesterday. I'll pick them up next time I go to the store."

"Or maybe you ate the last of the Oreos and this is all a part of some devious plan of yours," House countered.

"Yes, because I know that out of the two of you, I consider Allison to be the devious one," Wilson joked sarcastically.

"It's always the ones you would least suspect," House contested. "Besides, I have it on good authority that our little Allison here can be quite devious when she wants to be," he continued, with a suggestively raised eyebrow.

Cameron just took a humongous spoonful of ice cream and shoved it into his mouth to shut him up, leaving the spoon in his mouth so that she could grab the remote and start the movie.

Once she finished her ice cream, with continued help from House, she got up to put the bowl in the sink, returning just in time to hear Nicole Kidman declare that diamonds are a girls best friend and for House to drape his arm over her shoulders.

She spent the duration of the movie tucked securely underneath House's arm as he actually managed to keep his snide comments to a minimum since he was shushed by his best friend and elbowed by his wife every time he even attempted to speak. It wasn't until the end credits began to roll and he heard a tell tale sniffle coming from beside him that he let it all out.

"Please tell me you aren't crying," he said incredulously.

"I am not!" Cameron quickly responded. "I'm just tearing up a bit. And besides, I'm allowed, the ending is just so sad and romantic."

"And completely unbelievable," House retorted. "First of all, all three of us know that if she was really dying of TB then there would have been no way that she would be able to sing like that. And all I can say is that it's a good thing that she died when she did."

"How can you say that?" Allison asked smacking his chest playfully.

"A long lasting relationship could never have lasted between them, it's better off that she died before they figured that out." he insisted.

"Oh, but House, they were _in_ _love,_" Wilson joked.

"And that's why you're on your third tour of my couch Jimmy…well futon this time," House retorted.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" he asked, only mildly offended.

"You think that a marriage could actually work based on your ill conceived notions of love. A successful relationship can't be based on raging hormones and unbridled passion. The neurochemistry of _love _is all highly scientific and completely unromantic. Testosterone, oestrogen, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin surging through your system isn't ever lasting love, its lust and sexual desire. It has nothing to do with love at all and everything to do with finding a suitable genetic match for procreating. Which while it might be fun in the short term," he concluded with a careless shrug, "it has nothing to do finding someone you're going to be able to put up with for fifty years."

"Alright then love doctor," Wilson challenged, "since you seem to be the expert, who are you supposed to marry then?"

House considered this for a moment. He hadn't really thought that far into it before. "You marry someone who likes to sleep under the same amount of blankets as you do, and someone you don't mind sharing a toaster oven with for the rest of eternity," he said sagely. "You, James Marcus Wilson, think to much with your dopamine and oxytocin and not enough about blankets and toast."

All three of them sat in silence for a long moment as they considered the validity of his statement.

"Since when have you known my middle name?" Wilson asked breaking the silence and also the unusual serious tone and atmosphere in the room.

"Let's pick another movie," House diverted, extending his closed right fist on his open left palm, effectively trapping Cameron between his two arms.

House's scissors beat Wilson's paper and the winner promptly ordered the loser to swap Moulin Rouge for V for Vendetta in the DVD player.

"I love Natalie Portman," Cameron announced as opening credits began.

"Yeah, she's totally hot," House agreed. "I'd do her."

"She's so hot, _I _would do her," Cameron concurred.

Both men paused and looked at the lone female in the room with a mix of shock and perhaps even admiration at her proclamation, but she didn't seem to notice their stares or if she did, was not bothered by them as she continued to give her full attention to the screen. The men then met each others glances, Wilson shrugged to say that he didn't know what to say to that comment and House simply tightened his grip around her shoulder and they both joined Cameron in watching the movie.

By the time the House of Parliament was exploding, it had gotten late and everyone was ready for bed. In fact, Cameron was more than ready as she had already dozed off using House's shoulder as a pillow.

"Allison," House said softly as he shook her shoulder lightly.

"Hmm?" she asked sleepily cracking one eye open slightly.

"The movie is over and you're drooling on my shirt, lets go to sleep," he replied.

"Mmkay," she said agreeably while she closed her eyes again and nested further into his chest making no move to actually get up.

"And when I said lets go to sleep, I meant in bed. As in, not on the couch," he said nudging her more forcefully.

"Oh fine," she relented, sitting up to give House the opportunity to stand, but continuing to sit there until House extended his hand to drag her up from the couch.

Once they were both standing House began to make his way to the bedroom, Cameron in tow.

"Goodnight Jimmy," Cameron called tiredly as she followed House down the hallway.

"Night Allison," Wilson called back.

Closing the door behind her, the couple began what had become their usual nightly routine. House would change in the bedroom while Cameron took her pajamas into the bathroom to change then wash and moisturize her face. Then once she was done with that, she would open the bathroom door, letting him know that he could come in so they could both brush their teeth.

She closed the cap on the toothpaste and put it away in the medicine cabinet while they both placed their toothbrushes in the holder. Walking or hobbling respectively, they made their way over to the bed. The nights had been getting progressively cooler so wordlessly they both pulled down the extra blanket that they usually slept on top of.

They were each about to climb in when their eyes snapped to each others as they realized what they had just done. They held their gazes while they both thought about the comment he had made earlier. Uncomfortable with the intimacy that the rather mundane action had created, House was the first one to break the connection as he looked away to slide in between the covers. Cameron hesitated only a second longer as she too climbed into the bed.

After a moment to situate themselves, they then both reached out to simultaneously turn off the lamps on their respective bedside tables, creating another awkward moment. At least this time it was dark so they didn't actually have to see the look in the others eyes even though they faced each other.

"Goodnight Greg," Cameron whispered quietly into the dark.

House didn't say anything for a long while and Cameron didn't really expect a reply. That's why she was surprised when right as she was drifting off to sleep, he responded with a soft, "Goodnight Allison."

It didn't take either of them long to fall asleep, even with the knowledge that no matter how much space was between them now, they would wake up entangled in the morning.

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A/N So what did you all think? I know it seemed like a little chapter where not a whole lot happened, but there is actually some plot in there if you know where to look...lol... I haven't started the next chapter but I know what its going to be about so hopefully it shouldn't be too long… but let me know what you thought about this one! 


	32. The Game of Higher Learning

A/N So I finished this chapter a couple days ago but then decided that I hated it…. and I dont want to give you guys stuff that I don't feel is up to quality... So its been sitting on my computer finished since like weds but I just haven't had time to go over it and fix it and im still in the middle of a crazy busy weekend, so I decided to at least give you the first half that I don't completely hate now to buy me a little time to work on the second half since I hate that it's been so long since I updated for you guys... so I hope you enjoy!

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"I wouldn't do that," House warned casually. 

Cameron's hand froze over the bishop she was about to pick up and reexamined the chess board in front of her. Seeing that moving her bishop would have left her queen vulnerable to his rook, she instead made to move her knight.

"You're really going to do _that_?" he asked with an obnoxious superiority.

"No," Cameron huffed, sitting back into her chair as she took a long look at the chess board and tried to figure out a move that wouldn't garner a snide comment from the man sitting across from her.

It was late on Saturday morning and Wilson was off meeting Julie with their divorce lawyers, so the couple actually had the condo to themselves for the time being. At some point, they had ended up deciding to dust off House's old chess set and were now playing, a decision Cameron was starting to regret.

She stared intently at the board, desperately trying to figure out what House must be seeing, but kept coming up empty. When she had told him earlier that she knew how to play, she meant that she knew how all the different pieces moved, not that she knew the difference between a Zwischenzug and a Zugzwang.

"Always put the rook behind the pawn... Except when it is incorrect to do so," House suggested ever so helpfully.

"What?"

He shrugged, "Well that's what Siegbert Tarrasch said. It seems like sound advice since he probably was an authority on the subject. They did name a bunch of maneuvers for him after all."

Cameron rubbed at her temples as she tried to figure out if he was actually trying to help her or if he was just messing with her head. However, she earned a reprieve when there was a knock at the door. Quickly stating that she would get it, she made her way to the door, curious to see who it was, considering the only people that ever came to House's condo lived there and therefore had their own keys to let themselves in.

Opening the door she was surprised to find herself presented with her own living cliché.

It was a little girl, no more than twelve, her red curly hair tucked beneath the little green beret of her girl scout uniform. She was leaning casually against the door frame, a little red wagon full of cookies right behind her.

"I've got your- oh hello." The little girl looked to be just as surprised to see Cameron as Cameron was to see her as she quickly stood up straight and smiled brightly. "Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies?" she asked sweetly.

"Is everything alright?" Cameron asked, noticing the girls confusion.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm fine. It's just that you just weren't who I was expecting ma'am," she said, the dimpled smile still plastered across her face.

"Well who were you looking for?" Cameron asked helpfully. "Maybe I can help you out."

"Tall, grouchy, has a cane, calls Somoas chocolate heroin because they're as equally addicting-"

"Oh dear, you have a visitor," she called sarcastically over her shoulder.

However, Cameron jumped back slightly, startled to find him standing directly behind her and not sitting on the couch where she left him.

"I thought we had an understanding," House said ignoring the fact that he has scared Cameron as he addressed the little girl directly, "never while its light out."

The little girl's demeanor changed dramatically once more as she tossed her red curls over one shoulder and leaned on one hip. "My mom said I have to be home before the streetlights come on," she said with a long suffering sigh. "God, I hate being twelve sometimes."

"Fine," he said, peering outside and looking in both directions to see if anyone else was in the general vicinity. "Do you have the goods?"

"Do you doubt me?" the little girl replied, her tone making it clear she meant business. "Same order as last year?"

"Actually," House hesitated and looked over at Cameron, realizing he would probably be forced to share with her and Wilson, "add an extra box of Samoas and two boxes of Thin Mints."

"And a box of Tagalongs," Cameron interjected over House's shoulder.

The girl looked at Cameron suspiciously before turning back to House. She waited for his succinct nod of confirmation before moving to put the extra four boxes into an already prepared bag, which she quickly handed over. House looked into the bag, reviewing its contents.

"Do they meet your specifications?" the girl asked, as if daring him to say otherwise. "Because I have six more blocks to hit before my clarinet lesson."

"Everything seems to be in order," House confirmed. He pulled a fifty out of his wallet and handed it over. "Keep the change."

"It's a pleasure doing business with you Doctor, as always," the little girl said, her prior bright smile returning as she pocketed the money. "See you next year."

House nodded once more and shut the door.

"What?" he asked when he noticed Cameron looking at him curiously.

"That was the most intense cookie sale I have ever seen," she said with a smile, taking the bag of said cookies into the kitchen so she could put them away in pantry.

"Cookies are serious business," he returned going to sit back down on the couch.

"So I have seen," she laughed as she rejoined him in the living room, bringing the box of Tagalongs with her, opening it while she walked.

"It's still your turn you know," he reminded her smugly, as if she could forget.

She shoved one of the peanut butter cookies into her mouth before reaching out and quickly moving a pawn a single space forward. She just wanted to make a move, to get him off her back and to give her more time to contemplate her next, real move. However it wasn't quite the throw away move she had intended it to be since House immediately took that pawn with his knight.

"Check."

"Wait, what?!"

"I said, _check_," he repeated, leaning back arrogantly.

In an impulsive move, she reached out and swiped the board clean of all the pieces.

"Wow," House drawled, his look of arrogance shifting to one of surprise, "that was the most remarkable display of immaturity that I've seen in a long time."

Cameron said nothing, but let out a despondent huff as she picked up her box of cookies, taking solace in her Tagalongs. But just as she was putting the cookie in her mouth, House reached out and snatched it from her.

"Cookies are for winners," he announced, although it was somewhat muffled as he already shoved the cookie in his mouth and was in the middle of chewing.

"I hate chess" she pouted, moving the box out of his reach and crossing her arms over her chest.

"But it's the game of the higher learn'ed," he replied, amused at her rather out of character reaction.

"Yeah well, I may suck at the game of the higher learn'ed," Cameron admitted freely, "but I would kick your ass at the game of higher learning. And it's way more fun then chess."

"And what game would that be?" he asked doubtfully.

Cameron leaned across the coffee table where they had been playing chess until her temper tantrum. Unconsciously, House leaned in as well until their noses were practically touching.

"Beer Pong," she said confidently.

"Ah yes, Beer Pong, the game where even if you loose, you still come out a winner," House said sagely. "But I don't believe for a minute that you could be beat me," he challenged.

"Well you should," she said surely, "because I would."

"Doubt it."

"Maybe we should play and you can find out for yourself," she suggested.

"But I don't want to embarrass you when I kick your ass at two games in one morning," he replied.

"Well, we'll just see about that, old man," Cameron replied, standing up and going into the kitchen.

"Bring it on little girl."

Cameron just laughed as she dug through the pantry looking for the plastic cups she knew were in there.

"Last time I checked it was called Beer Pong, not Diet Coke Pong," House said sarcastically as she came back with a package of red Solo cups and a two liter bottle of soda.

"I'm on call this weekend, so I can't exactly risk going to work drunk," Cameron reminded him, explaining the soda. "And it wouldn't be fair if you were drinking and I wasn't. Not that it would matter since I'm not going to be drinking any anyways."

"And the trash talking continues," House responded amused. "I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you."

"Just set up the table," she replied self-assuredly, handing him the supplies before leaving the room and disappearing into the office/Wilson's makeshift bedroom.

House was surprised when she returned a few moments later, a ping pong ball in hand.

"Where the hell did that come from?" he asked.

"It was in a big jar full of loose change on the top shelf of the book shelves," Cameron replied. "I saw it when I was cleaning the day I moved in."

House laughed aloud when he realized just where the ball came from. "Ah yes, a trophy from Wilson's second bachelor party."

"You guys played Beer Pong?" she asked innocently as she watched him fill the cups half way up with soda.

"Ermmm, no," he replied slowly. "I can't say that we did."

"Then what did you… Oh god," she said as she made sense of his lewd grin.

"You see, when a man loves a woman very much, his best friend takes him and all of his other friends to go watch another woman shoot ping pong balls from a place where no ping pong ball should go."

"Oh my god!" Cameron shrieked in horror.

"Yeah, that's what Jimmy said too," House smirked.

Cameron looked like she was about to gag. "I'm going to go wash this and my hands with burning of hot water and lots and lots of anti bacterial soap!"

It was a good fifteen minutes before she decided that the ball was satisfactorily disinfected and came back into the living room.

"Feel better?" House asked, deciding not to tell her that the ping pong ball was actually new and from a pack he had gotten as toys for Steve McQueen before he had succumbed to old age last winter.

"Not really, but it'll have to do," she replied distastefully. "You want to go first? Give you a chance to actually get a shot in."

"Again with the trash talking," he said holding his hand out to take the ball. "You're going to regret that when I wipe the floor with you."

Cameron just smirked and made to give him the ball, only to retract her hand at the last minute. "You know," she said rolling the ball between her hands, "we should raise the stakes since were not playing with alcohol."

"You wanna put money on it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"No," she said shaking her head slightly a sly smile passing over her lips. "I don't want your money. I was thinking something to make the game a little more interesting."

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A/N So like I said before, the next chapter is already done, I'm just not happy with it at the moment so I'll work on it a little bit more and get it up pretty soon…. Like in the next couple days… so in the meantime let me know what you thought of this one!! And as always love goes out to Corrin for being awesome and helping me get started on this chapter when I was stuck and always pushing my writing to be better...

PSI love you all!


	33. Strip Or Spill

A/N First order of business is that WOOT WOOT! You guys broke 2000 reviews! passes out from the shock I LOVE you guys! Thanks to all of you! Second, sorry for the confusion, but the maternity in the summary was just because that was where the quote is from, I took it out when I realized people were getting confused… Third I have to thank BlueHeronz for giving this a look through and also to Corrin for putting up with my bitching all week about how much I hated it and going through it line by line with me to reassure me that it doesn't suck…. I still don't know if I believe her but she at least got me to post…. Lol…

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"No," she said shaking her head slightly a sly smile passing over her lips. "I don't want your money. I was thinking something to make the game a little more interesting. How about for every shot you make, you get to ask one question that the other person has to answer." 

"Damn," he replied, "and here I was hoping you were going to suggest Strip Beer Pong."

"We could do that too."

"Seriously?" he asked, surprised.

"Sure," she agreed. "Or how about we combine the two. Strip or Spill. You either answer a question or you take off an article of clothing."

"Sounds like a plan to me," House approved, thinking that she was right earlier, this was certainly going to be more fun than chess was.

House threw the ping pong ball lightly so it arched right into one of the center of her six cups. Cameron calmly fished the ball out of the glass and drank its contents, rinsing the ball in a cup of water she brought over for that specific purpose before tossing the ball back. Meanwhile, he thought of his first question.

"Have you ever done the dirty with another woman?" he asked bluntly.

"That would be your first question," she responded shaking her head in resigned amusement.

"Just answer the question, and I want details," he said, leaning over and propping his elbows on the table and resting his chin on his hands, clearly ready for story time.

Cameron just smirked and snaked her hands behind her back and under her shirt. Before he even realized what she was doing, she had unhooked her bra and was pulling it off through one of her shirt sleeves. His eyes widened when she tossed the garment in his direction which he instinctively stood up straight to catch. Her smug grin widened when she watched his Adam's apple bounce as he swallowed as he looked at the lavender and black lace balconette bra in his hands.

"Well aren't you a woman of many talents," he said, trying to get some of his signature snark back.

"You have no idea," she returned as she placed one hand on the table top and the other on her hip, crossing one ankle over the other as she leaned casually to one side.

"You choose not to answer," he continued. "That means that you have."

Cameron shrugged her shoulders elusively. "Maybe. It's still your turn you know," she reminded him, parroting his earlier words.

She also parroted his earlier stance leaning her elbows on the table, allowing her already v-necked shirt to gape slightly. It wasn't even that he could see anything, but more of the idea of being able to see something that made House have to shake his head slightly and rip his eyes away from the woman across the from of him. Taking a deep breath to refocus himself he lined up his shot.

"Her name was Sarah and we were in a hot tub," Cameron revealed casually the moment he released the ball.

"What?!" he exclaimed jerking his arm, sending the ball a foot and half to the right of the table.

"Hmm?" she returned innocently as she went to chase down the renegade ball before it rolled under the couch.

"That was so not fair," he pouted as she rinsed the ball once more.

"All is fair in love and Beer Pong babe," she replied, clearly enjoying herself as she took aim and tossed the ball easily into one of his cups.

House frowned as he retrieved the ball, tossed it back and drank his soda.

"Tell me something I don't know about you," Cameron said, figuring she would start easy and work her way up. After all he still had five more cups sitting in front of him.

House thought for a moment, "I speak eleven languages."

"Eleven!" she exclaimed, as she only knew about six for sure. "Which ones?"

"Uh uh," he replied, "only one question per cup."

"The first one wasn't a question. There was a period at the end of that statement, not a question mark. I told you to tell me something about yourself, I didn't ask you too," she said with a wry smile. "Now I'm asking a question."

"You're evil woman, I hope your mother knows that," House said with a shake his head, making Cameron laugh. "English, obviously, then I speak Spanish, Italian, German and Japanese fluently. I know enough Portuguese, Mandarin, and French where I would be able to get around in those countries fairly painlessly. And then I know enough Arabic, Russian and Hindi to get myself beat up."

"I'm impressed," she had no problem admitting. "I was proud of my four years of high school and three years of college French."

"Yeah well, I had more stamps in my passport by the time I was eight than most people will have in a life time. We moved every eighteen months from the time I was born until I was sixteen," he explained.

"That must have been rough," she said delicately.

"Well I didn't really knew any different," he shrugged. "I knew better than to get attached to people and places since I knew that we would be picking up in a couple months anyways. Although I did learn how to pack a whole set of good china in about fifteen minutes, have it be shipped internationally and have nothing break."

Cameron saw that he was done with the subject and threw the ball again while he was still distracted by his reminiscence.

"Hey," he said indignantly when the ping pong ball plopped into another cup.

"I've got a question that would settle a couple bets in the hospital," Cameron said. "Have you ever slept with Cuddy?"

"Depends on how much money you have on it and how much you're willing to cut me in," he replied. "Yes, I admit it, I did sleep with Mistress Cuddy. No, she does not actually kill after she mates, at least she didn't in college."

Cameron nodded and went to throw the ball again.

"What, no comment?" he asked curiously, sure she would have something to say about the fact that he slept with the Dean of Medicine.

"No," she returned shaking her head, "should I have one?"

"You feel the need talk about _everything_," he said evaluating her suspiciously. "Now I tell you I slept with Cuddy and you don't even care?"

"I would have been more surprised if you had told me that you hadn't slept with her to be honest. And once I found out that you knew each other in college I figured that was where it happened. And besides, why should I care? You don't care that slept with Chase."

"Yes, you slept with the one from the land down under, and I care."

"You care?"

"Yes, I care!"

"Why?" she asked, getting more from this question then she thought she would.

"Because, he took advantage of you!" he exclaimed angrily, vocalizing his opinions for the first time since it happened. "You were not in the state of mind to be making any kinds of those decisions. You had just been exposed to AIDS and the fact that you even thought that taking drugs was a good idea showed that you weren't even in a sound state of mind when you were sober! And then add the fact that you were high on meth! If you had called me instead of him-" he broke off and looked away.

"If I had called you instead of him what?" she asked.

"I think you already got your one question," he returned closing up as he wiped his face clean of emotion.

She tossed the ball again and he didn't even try to distract her and she made a big show of trying to decide what to ask.

"Monster trucks," Cameron said simply, purposely choosing not to continue down the previous path of questioning, "date?"

House smirked at her, choosing not to reply and instead peeled off his t-shirt, sending the ball back her way. "Let's see how you do now that you're going to be distracted by my awe inspiring bod."

"Oh, get over yourself," she said chucking the ball at his head.

"That counts as your throw you know," he said catching the ball as it bounced off forehead.

"No it doe-" she started to protest, but it was too late as he had already thrown the ball and it was now floating in one of her cups.

"Yes, it does," he said a self-satisfied smile on his face. "So since you don't seem to want to come clean about girl on girl experience… How many men have you slept with?"

"Four," she said honestly. "High school boyfriend, Colin, boyfriend during residency and Chase. OH! Five!" she exclaimed clasping a hand over her mouth when she realized who she had forgotten.

"Wow," he said slowly, clearly unimpressed, "that does wonders for my ego."

"Well it's not as if I even remember it," she placated.

"Yeah, not really helping."

"You don't remember it either," she returned defensively.

"Who says I don't?" he challenged.

"You remember?!" she asked, her eyes growing wide.

"No," he admitted, enjoying the dear caught in headlights expression she wore for a moment there.

Cameron exhaled exasperatedly as she tossed him the ball. "Shut up and throw."

He tossed the ball again and it caught the edge of one of the cups and began circling the rim, as House waited for it to stop so that he could ask his question, Cameron leaned down and blew, popping the ball right out of the cup. She let it bounce twice, swiping it up before it bounced off the table.

"Interference!" House exclaimed.

"And totally within the rules. This is fun," she exclaimed. Giggling deviously in a way that House never thought she would as she sunk another ball leaving him with two cups in contrast to her four.

"Weren't you busy in college studying and tending to a dying husband?" House grumbled, sincerely unhappy that she was kicking his ass.

"I didn't get married until I was twenty one and I went to college when I was 17 since I skipped a year," Cameron replied, letting the dead husband jab roll of her back.

"You skipped a year?" House asked interestedly.

"Last time I checked, you need four years of undergrad, four years of med school and a three year residency, which should have made me twenty nine before I passed through your office door for a fellowship. But I tested out of kindergarten and went into first grade when I was five and then was in an accelerated med-program. How do you think I became your fellow at twenty seven?" she asked with equal interest, figuring he would have figured this out long ago.

"That's your question!" he interjected, answering before she could object. "And I knew you were in an accelerated seven year premed and med-school program, but I never really thought about the other year I guess."

She just smiled and went back to the original conversation, "So I had a whole four years to hone my Beer Pong skills before I got married. And I didn't spend them all in the library. Medical text books are expensive after all."

"Yes, I know," he replied, "but what does that have to do with anything?"

Cameron laughed lightly, "When I was in college my friend and I would go down to the pub and play a couple games of Beer Pong. We'd then wait until someone made a comment about me throwing like a girl. That's when I would offer to place a friendly wager," she said with a grin throwing the ball up a couple times and snatching it out of the air with the same hand.

"You were a hustler," House said in shocked amusement. "I'm married to a Beer Pong shark!"

"It's not like I was stripping on my Saturday nights," she retorted teasingly at his reaction. "And I couldn't help it if half drunk frat guys would underestimate the little girl in the corner who kept missing the table by a mile," she said with an innocent grin that spoke of anything but innocence.

"Oh yes, you poor little lost lamb," he replied sarcastically.

Cameron laughed. "Like I said, it paid for my books, and then some. It got to the point where most of the regulars knew who I was and what I was doing, but they thought it was so funny, that they would not only not warn my mark, but they would bring their unsuspecting friends and encourage then to try to take me on, just to watch them fail miserably."

"And if you don't think that I'm making you play Jimmy as soon as he gets home, you're sadly mistaken," House said, knowing exactly how those guys in college felt. It would definitely mend his wounded pride to watch her kick his best friend's ass as well.

"Some nights," she continued stretching her arms above her head, "I wouldn't even have to pretend. People wanted to go against me just because they wanted to see if they could beat me."

"God damnit!" House exclaimed as she arched the ball into another cup. He had been to occupied watching the taut surface of her stomach that was revealed as her shirt rode up and the way the arching of her back pressed her chest against the thin fabric of her t-shirt when she stretched and listening to her story to even notice that she had thrown the ball. "Why the does that keep working," he said angrily. "I never listen to you when you speak, why the hell am I starting now!"

"Apparently all I have to do to get you to listen to me at work is to walk around without a bra on," she smirked.

"That could be arranged," he replied eagerly.

"Yes and I'm sure Chase would just _love _that," she replied with a roll of her eyes.

House wrinkled his nose distastefully, "Way to ruin that good idea. You couldn't at least let me fantasize for a little while?"

She just laughed once more as she thought of a question she really wanted answered.

"So, did you think things would go this far when you suggested we pretend that we got married on purpose?" she asked extremely interested in his answer.

"Hell no," he responded without even having to think about it, as he rolled the ball back to her. "But then again, I hadn't really thought the whole plan through at the time. I didn't really have an exit strategy. Still don't to be honest. So I suppose I'll have to keep you for the time being," he joked.

She made eye contact with him as he said this and held it as she slowly walked towards him. Not stopping until she was right in front of him, breathing the same air.

"Are you glad you haven't gotten rid of me yet?" she asked so softly that he wouldn't have heard her if it was not for her invading his personal space.

"One question per cup," he responded lowly.

Without taking her eyes off of his she reached out and dropped the ball into the last remaining cup.

"I win," she said softly.

"You win," he agreed.

"Same question."

They stood there for a long moment, looking at each other intently, Cameron searching for the answer in his eyes. The intensity of the moment made the air between them practically crackle with electricity and as slowly and of its own volition, her hand reached up to rest on his rough cheek.

House felt the barest brush of her finger tips against the stubble along his jaw when her beeper announced its presence with an incessant shrill beeping. Cameron immediately took several shuffled steps back, snatching the beeper from its place at her waistband. Checking the number she grabbed the cordless phone out of its cradle and dialed the hospital's number.

House leaned against the table as he watched her pace back and forth and listened to her half of the conversation.

"Yes?… Alright… How long?… Is she stable?… Yeah, I'll call them… Bye," she said before hanging up. "Well there goes our day off. I need to go change, would you mind-"

"I'll round up the troops," he said, holding out his hand so she could toss him the phone.

Cameron smiled appreciatively, before turning and walking out of the room. House waited until he heard the bedroom door shut before picking up the bra she had left behind, fingering the rough lace trim. He chuckled lightly and tossed it on the table with a shake of his head, then dialed Foreman's number as he began to clean up the remains of the game.

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A/N So here is the part where I feel like I should put my responsible citizen hat on and tell all the youngsters out there that under age drinking is bad and Beer Pong is actually a rather vile game and according to Wikipedia it is responsible for spreading the Epstein-Barr virus in colleges… that being said, I hope you enjoyed it! Lol… so let me know what you thought! 


	34. Marital Strife

A/N Sorry that this chapter took so long to get up… I don't really have any excuses other than the fact my muse abandoned me… ::sad face:: … I've been going through some real life stuff that kinda stunted my writing process, but I'm hoping to get back on track now…. This is only the first half of the chapter, but I didn't want to make you guys wait any longer than you already have, so I thought you would rather have a little bit of a shorter one than have to wait even longer… so enough blabbing from me, and enjoy!

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Forman and Chase were already in the conference room when Cameron came bursting through the door, marching over to the coffee maker to start a pot, regardless of the fact that she had a cup from Starbucks in her hand.

The two men exchanged a glance, trying to silently argue over which one of them would have to ask her if something was wrong, but before they come to an agreement House came breezing into the room, a matching cup of designer coffee in his left hand and irritation clear on his face.

"Don't get all pissy with me and practically run out of the elevator, just because you clearly have no idea what you are talking about," he shot at Cameron.

"I don't know what I'm talking about? You're the one who should be apologizing for wasting my time. You know what, I'll even consider accepting it," she retorted snidely.

"It's ludicrous, Allison!" House exclaimed tossing his backpack on a chair. "Granted it's nothing more than I would expect from you."

"You just can't see the big picture," she shot back. "That's the problem with you Greg, you only see what you want to see."

Chase and Foreman exchanged another glance, this one decidedly more worried when they realized that Cameron and House were arguing. Marital strife between their boss and coworker did not bode well for the department.

"I have technique and style and skill on my side," House continued, "whereas you-"

"Hey," Cameron interrupted, "it takes just much skill and also I have teamwork and loyalty. You're just mercenary-"

"You're just as in it for the money, if not even more than-"

"You just want it to be the way you want it to be!"

"It's not about what I want, it's about being right! You honestly mean to tell me you're going to take the side of the puffy shirt brigade?" House asked incredulously.

"I'd take a couple puffy shirts over prancing about in black pajamas," she shot back slamming the coffee pot back into the machine and pressing the brew button.

Chase and Foreman looked at each other once more, this time totally confused, having absolutely no idea what the couple could be fighting about so passionately that involved puffy shirts and black pajamas.

"Besides, I would think they would be right up your alley since you're always harping on about code of conduct and doing the honorable thing and all of that," House replied disdainfully.

"Code of conduct my ass! Pirates are way more honorable, when you get in a fight with a pirate you know you are in a fight with a pirate. You know exactly what you are getting into. Where as a ninja will just sneak up behind you and kill you before you know what hit you."

"Um hello! That's exactly why they're cool. You're not going to get a ninja star to the face from a pirate!"

"Wait," Foreman said disbelievingly, interrupting Cameron's retort. "Are you two fighting over whether pirates are ninjas are cooler?"

"Duh," House confirmed. "What else would be fighting about?"

"And were weren't fighting," Cameron corrected, "we were debating."

"You were fighting," Forman restated. "Although I don't know why, since ninjas are clearly cooler."

"Thank you!" House exclaimed throwing his hands up in the air.

"We were worried that you guys were actually fighting over something important," Chase added, the relief clear on his face. "And by the way, pirates are way more awesome than ninjas."

"That's what I think," Cameron agreed appreciatively.

"Aw, don't worry," House said reaching out to ruffle Chase's coifed hair. "Even if Mommy and Daddy fight, we still love you just the same."

Chase ducked out from House's hand and smoothed his hair back into place as he shot a glare at his boss.

"I still can't believe that you actually think that pirates are cooler than ninjas," House said, addressing his wife disdainfully.

"Chase agrees with me," Cameron pointed out.

"Yeah, but I'm not married to Chase," he shot back as he dropped off his things in his office quickly and came back into the conference room. "Next thing you know, you're going to be telling me that you like Picard better than Kirk."

"I do like Picard better than Kirk," she revealed, squaring her shoulders and settling her hands on her hips, clearly ready to go for another round.

"What?! Do you know nothing!" he exclaimed stopping cold in the doorway between the two rooms. "Kirk is clearly superior because one time he got drunk and bitch slapped Spock. Because Spock was a damned know it all and sometimes people need to be bitch slapped and put in their place."

"No, Picard is better because he was way more likely to think with his big head rather than the little one, making it much more likely to have a bunch of little green alien bastards running around," Cameron countered. "Intergalactic child support is so not cool. Plus Patrick Stewart can actually act, unlike William Shatner."

"Well then, you clearly just don't understand the finer points of Shatner's very stylized acting," he replied disparagingly.

"Sure you can call it that," Cameron scoffed with a roll of her eyes. "What do you two think?" she asked turning to her coworkers.

"I don't watch Star Trek," Foreman said, holding his hands up, clearly not wanting to get in the middle of this.

"Well," Chase said slowly when both House and Cameron's gazes turned to him. "I was always partial to Archer. The captain of the first Enterprise," he continued when the couple just continued to look at him with blank stares, "Scott Bakula played him?"

"The guy from Quantum Leap?" Cameron asked tilting her head.

"Yeah," Chase confirmed timidly, feeling self conscious.

"You would," House said shaking his head in disappointment. "Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?" he asked, once more turning to his wife.

"Han Solo," she replied without a moment of hesitation.

Finally he seemed to approve of her response because he simply nodded and turned to the other men in the room. "Don't we have a patient or something? I know I didn't come in on a Saturday for no reason."

"Twenty year old female," Foreman began, taking it upon himself to present the case. "Was brought into the ER early this morning after being found by a jogger in the park. She had gotten in a fight with her boyfriend and was walking back to her dorm from his when she was attacked and raped. She received a concussion, lacerations to the back of the head and abdomen and contusions over thirty five percent of the body."

All of the room's occupants cringed slightly at the news.

"Yes, that sucks for her, but doesn't explain why she was sent to us," House said when Foreman paused.

After shooting House a glare for his insensitivity, he continued to read from the file. "She was sent up to use when she suddenly spiked a fever of a 103, her BP dropped to 75, and she developed a sunburn like rash. She is also vomiting, and complaining of a headache and stomach cramps and is experiencing periods of disorientation and confusion."

"Most of those symptoms could just be caused by the concussion and a reaction to the pain meds she is on, and shock from the attack and her injuries," Chase said, dismissively flipping through the chart.

"Yes," House said with a roll of his eyes as he wrote the last symptom on the white board, "because I know of so many patients go into shock several hours after being stabilized. And maybe the fever is because she has the stomach flu and the sunburn isn't actually a rash at all. Perhaps she just spent to much time under a heat lamp in the ER trying to achieve that perfect golden tan. Good work Chase, lets all go home."

"It's most likely an infection of some sort," Cameron offered, getting the attention off of Chase.

"Damn, you mean she's actually sick? And here I wanted to go home so we could pick up where we left off," he said with a suggestively raised eyebrow, knowing exactly what she was doing.

"She is a bio-chem major at Princeton University," Forman read in her chart, now taking the attention off of a blushing Cameron. "Perhaps she was exposed to something. We should run a tox screen."

"Not as likely as an infection considering her injuries," House said more to himself as he scanned the whiteboard. "Assuming Chase doesn't know what he is talking about, and her symptoms were not caused by shock and her concussion, what causes a fever this high, hypotension, signs of shock and a rash? And I swear, I'm not responsible for my actions if one of you even thinks about suggesting lupus."

"Rocky Mountain spotted fever?" Chase offered tentatively.

"Wrong kind of rash," House replied, even as he wrote it down as an option.

"Leptospirosis?" Cameron suggested.

"Good," House said, writing that one up as well.

"Typhoid Fever," Foreman added.

"Also wrong kind of rash," House repeated, even as he wrote that one down as well.

"Kawasaki disease," Chase mentioned.

"Staphylococcus," Cameron recommended.

"Meningococcal meningitis," Forman proposed.

House added those to the list as well before turning back to his team. "Forman, do a tox screen, Chase do a CBC and full blood panel, Allison, I want you to do a more thorough history and an LP and then we'll go from there."

All three nodded and went to grab their lab coats off the coat tree that stood in the corner. The boys put theirs on quickly and were already half way out the door before they realized that their female counterpart was not following them. They turned to see her standing there in the corner, looking down at her coat in confusion.

"What's wrong?" Chase asked curiously.

"This isn't my coat," she responded bewildered.

"What do you mean it's not your coat?" Forman replied confused.

"I mean, this isn't my coat," she repeated surely.

"How can it not be your coat? It was hanging where you always hang your lab coat," Chase pointed out.

"I know that, but I'm saying this isn't my coat!" she exclaimed, frustrated that no one seemed to want to believe her. "It's a little bit longer than my coat and the fabric is still stiff, this isn't my coat, this is a new one."

"It's your coat," House interjected from where he had been watching the proceedings silently. "It has to be, it has your name on it."

"What?" Cameron asked, still confused, considering the fact that her old coat didn't even have her name on it.

Everyone in the room looked at her coat. And there, right above the left breast pocket was her name, well kind of. Because embroidered in pale blue thread was _Allison House M.D._.

"You're kidding right?" Cameron asked dryly, one eyebrow raised.

"Why would I be?" he returned. "Don't you know what today is?"

"November 10th?" she replied questioningly, having no idea what he was alluding too.

"Which would make it…."

"Saturday?"

"No," he sighed heavily, shaking his head. "I can't believe you forgot that today is the lab coat anniversary. I guess I'll forgive you since I don't wear one anyways."

"Right," she responded sarcastically. "So when is the you accept I'm not changing my name anniversary?"

"Oh that's -" he stopped and waved a sardonic finger at her, "hey, that was a trick question."

Cameron just smirked and readjusted her ID tag on her new coat. "I'm going to want my old coat back you know," she said over her shoulder as she walked out of the room.

"If you can find it you can have it," he called after her, a wry smile gracing his lips.

* * *

A/N so there we have it… hopefully the second half of this chapter will be up in the next couple days, but I'm moving home for Winter Break on Friday so I'm not sure what my schedule is going to look like in the near future… but in the meantime, let me know what you think and then go read Three's Company by Cornorama its House/Cameron and Wilson/Cuddy and it hilarious so go read it and let her know if you agree with me :D 

Love Always-

ColorOfAngels


	35. The Eye Of The Beholder

A/N Contrary to popular belief, no, I did not die… although there was a time that I wanted to… let me tell you, Mono is a bitch… and then the longer I didn't write the harder it was to coax my muse to come back… I don't know if anyone even cares any more but here is the next chapter, and I will stop rambling and let you all read it…

* * *

Foreman and Chase entered House's office to give him an update on the state of their patient and were only mildly surprised when the found the room empty. A quick glance into the conference room confirmed he wasn't anywhere in the department.

The two men looked at each other, neither having any clue where he might be. Considering the fact that since they weren't even supposed to be at work, there was no way that Cuddy could have dragged him into the clinic and Wilson wasn't even in the hospital to bug.

"You want to start in the cafeteria and I'll start on the roof and we'll meet in coma guy's room?" Foreman suggested.

Chase nodded his compliance and they were about to go and look in his usual spots in search of their boss. The search was short lived however; since when they turned to leave they found him standing in the door to his office with a hammer and a box of nails in his non cane hand.

"And neither of you would have found me," House revealed as he passed by both of them and crossed over to his desk, setting the tools on the table top. "I was in the basement, talking to Lou."

"The janitor?" Foreman asked.

"Do you know of someone else on hospital grounds from whom I could procure a hammer?" he replied, nodding to the tool on his desk as he took a large stack of framed photos out of his backpack.

"What do you need a hammer for?" Chase asked curiously.

"I don't know how they do things in the land down under," House retorted disdainfully,  
"but here in the states we use hammers to drive nails into walls, not our thick Aussie skulls."

Forman started whistling which was an odd enough occurrence to make both men turn to look at him.

"What's that now?" House asked.

"Men at Work," Foreman replied as if it should be obvious. "We come from the land down under..."

House evaluated the neurologist for a long moment before speaking. "I like you, what you lack in skill, you make up for with enthusiasm. Carry on," he announced with a nod as he turned back to his handy work of hanging his pictures, this time with theme music.

Chase just rolled his eyes, having had his heritage mocked enough that it didn't phase him anymore. "So what are you hanging up?" he asked again, his curiosity undeterred.

"Office art," he replied cryptically, taking a couple measurements before he began hammering.

"Adele went into acute respiratory distress and we had to intubate her, she's also not clotting," Foreman announced, going back to the original reason for coming to find House. "And is Cameron aware that you are hanging _that_ kind of art in your office?" he asked as he picked up the photo of _Wrath_, giving it a cursory glance before handing it to his boss to hang on the newly inserted hook on the wall.

"Start her on corticosteroids for the ARDS and transfusions for the coagulopathy. And I wasn't aware that I had to tell her what I'm doing in _my _office," he retorted snidely, as he hung the frame and took a step back to evaluate its placement. "Besides I think she will be proud."

"Yes, because I'm sure that Cameron will be proud that her husband is hanging up-" Chase paused as he tried to find the right word, "-provocative pictures in his office."

"Watch what you say about my wife," House replied warningly.

"Why? I didn't say anything about her," the blond man asked confused as he picked up one of the frames to closer examine the photo within it.

"You inferred that my photos were smutty, I don't think she would appreciate that," House repeated, carefully watching the younger man's expression as he studied _Greed_. "I think she looks quite classy myself." It was almost comical to watch as comprehension slowly dawn over the intensivist's face.

"Oh shit! These are Cameron!" Chase exclaimed quickly grabbing the next photo off the pile which happened to be _Lust_. "And she looks HOT!"

"And underage you pervert," House retorted, snatching one of the photos back so that he could hang it. "She's fifteen in those photos."

"Gah!" Chase shouted dropping _Lust_ back on the desk as if it was suddenly scalding, only to have it retrieved by Foreman who wanted to see that it was his coworker for himself.

"Day-um!" Foreman interjected laughingly. "There is no way she is only fifteen in this photo."

"Believe it," House confirmed, snagging the picture back and placing it on the pile. "And you, will do well to remember it," he continued turning to the Aussie as he brandishing the hammer in his hand like a weapon. "Just like you will remember to keep your hands and thoughts off the grown up version as well."

"Right… I mean of course… I would never…" the younger man stuttered, not missing the territorial glint in the elder mans eye, and not forgetting the threats made at the hockey game just a few weeks prior. "We should be seeing to Adele about that…."

"Yes, we should get going, you seem to have another appointment anyways," Foreman said smirking at his coworkers unease as he took pity on him by quickly agreeing and turning to leave the office just in time to see Cuddy making her way towards them.

"House," Cuddy greeted as she held the door open for Chase and Foreman who were leaving. "How is your patient?"

"Not dead," he answered, as he dug through the box of assorted nails for one of the correct length.

"Always a good sign in a hospital," she retorted. "Is she going to die?"

"Not if I can help it," he returned as he began hammering in another nail.

"What are you doing?" she asked, noticing what he was doing.

"Trying to break the world record for number of jumps on a pogo stick," he deadpanned.

"You can't hang those in here," Cuddy sighed tiredly.

"I didn't know hanging photos was so controversial," he said conversationally, as he added _Envy_ to those already adorning the wall.

"It is when they look like those," the dean countered. "What if a patient saw those, I don't look forward to explaining why one of my doctors has underage eye-candy decorating his office."

"First of all, I avoid patients at all cost, so I don't think I'll be inviting them into my office any time in the near future," he replied, thinking that this would be really annoying if it wasn't so amusing. "And if anything they'll just be jealous."

"No," she insisted. "House, take them down."

"I don't see what the big deal is. You have a picture of you and your sister in your office," House pointed out.

"Yes, but she is my family," Cuddy replied slowly as if talking to a three year old.

"Well I can't help it if my family is more attractive than your family," he retorted equally as condescendingly. "I hear Hammond up in cardiology has a hot daughter, are you going to tell him to take her picture off his desk too?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked, not understanding the connection, but having no doubt that there was one.

"What do you mean what am I talking about? You're the one who is telling me I can't put pictures of my wife up in my office," he said accusingly.

"Wait," Cuddy paused, her eyes narrowing, "those are Cameron?"

"The one and only," he said taking _Greed_ off the top of the pile still on his desk to show her.

Cuddy examined the photo and then stepped around the desk to take a closer look at the rest of the series already on the wall. "Fine, you can keep them," she said after a moment. "But I want you down in the Clinic."

"What?! You're making me do clinic because of the photos?" he exclaimed, absolutely appalled. "It's Saturday, I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

"I'm making you do clinic because two of the doctors who are scheduled to be in there called in sick today," she corrected, unmoved by his outburst. "And since it is Saturday, they're swamped down there. Since you're on site and don't have anything to do once you're done redecorating, congratulations, you've been elected."

"I wasn't even aware I was running," he said pounding another nail into the wall with just a little more gusto then what was required. "Truly it's an honor just to be nominated, therefore it is with deep regret that I must pass this privilege onto one of my less fortunate contemporaries."

"Finish hanging your last couple photos then I want you're honored ass in the clinic," she said with finality.

"But I don't wanna," he pouted as he rooted through the box of assorted nails.

"If you work until five, I'll give you a get out of clinic free card for the next two weeks," she bargained.

House considered this. The tests he was waiting on wouldn't be out until about then anyways and two weeks clinic free certainly sounded appealing.

"Make it three and you have a deal," he proposed.

"Fine," she agreed not even putting up the usual obligatory fight.

"Those were poor negotiating skills, I would have done it for the two," House revealed

"Yeah well," she shrugged sitting down in the chair on the opposite side of House's desk. "I'm about as pleased about getting called in on a Saturday as you are. The sooner I get everything handled here the sooner I can get home. So," she began conversationally, picking up a photo and turning it over in her hands, "hanging up family photos in the office. That must mean things are going well."

House paused in what he was doing, his right arm still poised to strike the nail which he was holding steady with his left as he turned to look at the woman on the other side of the desk with interest, assessing the intentions of her statement.

"I suppose this means that we have concluded the boss/employee portion of our interaction," he said, turning back to driving the nail into the wall, "and have segued into the old college buddy segment of conversation."

"I was just making an observation," Cuddy continued. "Sometimes I still have a hard time believing you two are actually married."

"Why would you say that?" House asked lightly, wondering if she knew something about their deception as he hammered another nail into the wall.

"Even you have to admit that this all came out of left field," she began. "I mean it was just a little over two months ago that I think I'm sending Cameron to Vegas with you so she could baby sit you and instead comes back married to you. And then you tell us all that you've actually been in a relationship since last Christmas that no one, not even Wilson, was privy too? Then suddenly you two are practically joined at the hip in all your newlywed bliss. It was just surprising is all, a lot to take in."

"Yeah well, no one was more surprised than we were to find ourselves in a relationship," he confessed, smirking at the truthfulness of his statement.

"I can only imagine," Cuddy continued, "especially considering the way you shot her down a couple years ago. At the time I was first in line to condone a relationship between the two of you, I thought that a woman who was willing to resort to blackmail to get what she wants is a kind of woman that could keep up with you. But then when your date turned out to be a disaster, it seemed that even she had given up on you, I had all but lost any hope of you not dying alone," she said only half jokingly. "So, things are going well?" she asked once again, getting back to her original inquiry.

"Better than either of us really imagined they would I suspect," House admitted, almost talking to himself, a slight tone of amazement in his tone. "Yeah, things are going well."

"Considering you've been almost tolerable the past couple months I just can't help but believe in miracles."

"Not a miracle, just Allison," he said absently as he hung the final photo.

"How's that?" Cuddy pried, taking advantage of House's unusual openness.

"Allison is…" he trailed off for a moment as he gathered his thoughts, "complicated. There is a lot more to her than she shows here at work. I like that person. Well either that or its not a miracle at all," he said shaking himself out of his reverie when he realized the conversation had become far to much like friends sharing, "and really its one of the signs of the apocalypse."

"Ah yes, I remember that line in the torah," Cuddy joked. "And the Lord Said to Moses woe onto the world when a cranky bastard with the name of House is happy, for it is a sign that all that was done will come undone. Now I always thought it was a coincidence, but if it starts raining frogs I'm running for the hills."

"Well it is overcast today," he retorted, "I'll keep an eye out for amphibians."

Cuddy laughed and stood, making her way towards the hallway. "I'm happy for you Greg," she said pausing in the door way and turning back around, "I really am."

"Thanks Lisa," he replied with a rare sincerity.

"Now get down to the clinic!"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

House walked into his office to find a thoughtful Cameron standing pensively in the open doorway looking out onto the balcony watching the rain fall. He could see her reflection in the open door, seeming very far away, as she wore a deeply introspective expression that he wasn't quite sure he liked.

"Don't even think about it," House said jolting her out of her thoughts.

"Don't think about what?" she asked turning around startled, having been so deep in thought that she was oblivious to his entrance.

"Don't even thinking about going out into the rain," he clarified. "I don't need you getting sick again. I know you were sick longer than you were admitting even after I let you come back to work."

"What are you talking about?" she asked defensively, it had taken her awhile to kick that stomach bug, but she thought she had hidden it well.

"You are not that stealthy when you were sneaking out of bed to puke and even though you were still making coffee for everyone else, you were drinking ginger tea to settle your stomach. Also your eyes are duller when you're not feeling well."

"Wow, I'm impressed," she said, the corner of her mouth upturned.

"They don't call me a world class diagnostician for nothing," he returned with a smirk.

"I just didn't realize that I merited the utilization of such world class skills," she joked. "Certainly someone such as myself isn't worth paying attention to."

"I've always paid attention to you, you know that" he replied, looking down at the tennis ball at the edge of his desk, embarrassed by his confession.

Cameron smiled, but didn't call any more attention to House's admission knowing it would make him even more uncomfortable and looked past him to above his desk.

"So is going from lobby art to wall art considered a promotion?" she asked with a nod towards the photos.

"Well I realized that I can't see the lobby from my desk, therefore lobby art is useless to me the majority of the time. I considered having you quit your job and just standing in here all day but then I realized that I would have to hire a new fellow and that just seemed like far to much effort," he said with an affected sigh. "This seemed like a satisfactory compromise."

Cameron laughed lightly flashing him a small smile before turning away and back out towards the rain soaked balcony.

"So what was with the pensive face?" he asked.

"Adele's kidneys are failing, if we don't figure out what's wrong with her we're going to have to start her on dialysis and maybe put her on the donor list," she relayed.

"Our patients have organ failure all the time, and don't cause pensive face," he replied. "And pensive face is only a couple steps away from sad face and I don't think the centrifuges need recalibrating."

Cameron let out a half hearted chuckle, paused, and the followed it up with a deep sigh. "I was talking to her after I took the history," she revealed.

This time it was House who sighed. "We've talked about you caring too much bef-"

"Do you want to lecture me or do you want to hear what I have to say?" she shot over her shoulder before he could finish his sentence. When he remained silent she continued to speak. "She doesn't have any family on this side of the country and she wont let me call her boyfriend. She doesn't want him to know what happened."

"Sexual assault victims often feel like they are somehow responsible for the assault," House pointed out walking over to stand next to her by the window. "Refer her to Williams up in psych-"

Cameron shook her head, "I already tried, she doesn't want to see a therapist. She said she knows its not her fault, she already talked to the police and is willing to go to court to testify if they catch the guy. But she wont let me call anyone to be with her. She doesn't want anyone to know…"

She stopped talking, but House knew she hadn't finished and uncharacteristically waited patiently, watching her reflected expression as he tried to figure out what was bothering her so much.

"In fact she was joking about the whole situation," she said with a mirthless laugh. "Saying that at least she was on her way to see her boyfriend, so she didn't have to worry about getting pregnant."

House thought about what Cameron just revealed before letting his forehead bang against the glass window with a thud. "I'm such an idiot," he exclaimed, his interest in Cameron's mental state abating as the revelation struck, "she has TSS! I didn't even consider it because she isn't menstruating, but she _was_ planning on sleeping with her boyfriend."

"She must have been wearing a contraceptive sponge," Cameron continued when she caught onto House's train of thought, immediately snapping back into doctor mode. "And the ER removed it when doing the rape kit. But she's been on antibiotics for hours and has been getting worse," she pointed out.

"Do a pelvic exam and make sure the entire sponge was removed. Stop the broad spec antibiotics and switch her to Clindamycin then start her on Intravenous Immunoglobulin Therapy in case she is just resistant."

Cameron nodded succinctly and hurried out of the office to carry out his orders as they both switched back into their professional personas. House watched her walk away before sitting heavily behind in his chair, propping his feet up on his desk, glad to have another case solved, making a mental note to find out what was bothering her once they went home.

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A/N So there it is… I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought :D also I'm hopefully going to be back on track with posting now and the next chapter will be up soon… that is if you guys want it :P


	36. It's Not A Heart To Heart

A/N See, I told you I would update again soon :P… anyways… Thank you so much to all of you for still caring about this story… I was pleasantly surprised and overwhelmed by the support you guys gave me after the last chapter so thanks guys!! Also I totally forgot to thank Corn for kicking my ass into gear to start posting again so thank her too for your updates ;)

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House was confused when he opened his eyes and was greeted by a dark room. The alarm wouldn't go off for hours and his leg wasn't spasming in pain so there was no apparent reason he shouldn't be asleep. He was about to close his eyes and go back to sleep when he heard Cameron let out a noise that could only be defined as a whimper. He looked over at her to find her curled up in a ball against the side of his body, her small hand clutching his t-shirt as if her life depended on it. He brought a hand up to her cheek and was startled to find clammy skin and tears leaking out from behind her closed eyelids. Quickly hitching himself up in bed, he turned the light on the bedside table onto its lowest setting before turning his attention back to Cameron.

"Allison, wake up, you're having a nightmare," he said as he shook her gently, his voice gruff from sleep, but also soothing.

She jolted awake and House was disturbed to see the sheer panic and terror in her eyes as they darted around the room until she realized where she was and promptly burst into tears. Stunned by her actions and at a loss of what to do, Cameron made the choice for him as she practically threw herself into his arms. He responded instinctively by wrapping his arms around her and hugging his hysterical wife closer as he rubbed her back gently.

"It's okay… it was just a dream, it's over. I've got you… you're safe," he murmured, a bit awkward in his attempts to be comforting, but effective as she calmed down.

"Good lord, your hair is out of control," he joked once her sobbing had been reduced to an occasional sniffle. "One of these days its going to strangle me in the middle of the night."

"Ah well, then my plan will be complete," Cameron returned, allowing House a sigh of relief that she calmed down enough that her sense of humor was intact. "But seriously, tomorrow I'm making a hair appointment for next weekend. I need to get it all cut off."

"Don't," he told her as he gently gathered it all up into one thick bunch, before using his fingers to detangle it while they lay there, "I like it long."

"Well, I at least need a trim and to get my bangs cut, its getting to the point where I cant see," she countered, turning her head and propping her chin on his chest so that she could look him in the face, relishing in the feeling of his skilled hands against her scalp.

"Fine, but just a trim," he conceded, continuing his ministrations silently for a long moment before he spoke again. "So are you going to tell me why we're both awake at," he glanced at the clock, "3:42 in the morning?"

"It was nothing," she replied dismissively, "just a bad dream."

"A bad dream would be like the time I dreamt that I was lost in this huge block of Swiss cheese, and was trying to get out by climbing through the holes. The only way I could get out was to eat my way out. Do you know what that much cheese will do to a man?" House smiled when Cameron laughed. "So lets try this again, what was you're dream about?"

"It was just about something that happened a long, long time ago, it's not important anymore," Cameron insisted.

"Your reaction to it, and the pool of tears on my shirt, would suggest it was a little bit more than _just a bad dream_," he snarked gently._ "_And obviously it didn't happen so long ago that it's not still affecting you, so yeah, I would consider that important."

"I really don't want to talk about it," she replied briskly, as she tried to worm out of his embrace and back to her own side of the bed.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, tightening his hold on her. "I'm not finished yet," referring to his attentions to her hair. "And I want to know why you woke me up in the middle of the night, so I'm not letting you go back to sleep until you spill."

She looked him in the eye and saw that there was going to be no way that he was going to let it go and sighed deeply. She readjusted her position against his chest so that she wouldn't have to see his expression while she spoke. After a long interlude she sighed once more and began to tell her story, trying to concentrate more on what he was doing with her hair then what she was saying.

"I was attacked-" she began.

"What, when?" he asked accidentally jerking on a knot in surprise.

"Oww."

"Sorry," he apologized rubbing the tender spot for a moment. He had been expecting her to tell him about some kind of killer clown, since that was the only other time that he had ever seen her close to this upset. It had never occurred to him that the situation with their patient might have instigated her nightmare. He then mentally hit himself over the head for it not occurring to him, it should have considering her demeanor in his office earlier, but when he solved the case everything else had been pushed out of his mind.

"I was twenty-one when it happened, almost twenty two. Colin was in the hospital again and he insisted that I go home. He wanted me to get a good night rest for once," she started in short clipped sentences. "We only lived about a mile and a half from the hospital so I figured I would walk home, clear my head some. It was dusk and I wanted to get home before dark, so I took a short cut through the park. And that's when he attacked me…" she said trailing off.

"Did he…?" House started to ask, unable to even get the word out.

"No," she replied knowing what he was getting at, "he never got the chance. He groped me pretty good though, ruined my favorite shirt," she chuckled humorlessly. "He hit me in the back of the head to start with so it took me a while to react. But once I did, I fought back, I did learn a thing or two from having four older brothers, and I managed to get away. I ran all the way home."

"Did the police ever catch him?" he asked.

"No, not unless they got him for something else. I never told anyone what happened," she admitted.

"What?! You mean you never reported it?" House asked as an almost frightening wave of protectiveness swelled up in his chest.

"No, you're the first one to hear about it actually," she admitted quietly. "I went home, took a shower and went to bed. The only visible injury he left on me was a bruise on my cheek and I told everyone I slipped in the shower and hit the towel rack. And Colin was sick, so its not like anyone was seeing me naked, so it was easy keeping the bruises on my arms, chest, and thighs concealed until they went away."

She could feel House inhale to speak again, but she cut him off with the explanation she knew he was looking for, "My husband was dying, me being stupid and walking through the park at night and getting myself attacked was not anything that anyone wanted or needed to deal with. I had other things on my mind, it was easier just to forget about it. And for the most part I have, it's just once in a while that I dream about it that it all comes back. Except that in my dreams I don't always get away and he-" Cameron wasn't able to get the rest of her sentence out as her throat closed up in fear and tears.

"Hey, hey, hey, look at me," House interjected authoritatively, pausing until she did what he asked, his heart aching when he saw the tears welling up in her eyes. "You're all right, you're safe, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. And it wasn't your fault. You didn't deserve to get assaulted no matter what time of they day you were walking home. And it was something that was worth dealing with, your safety, health, and well being is worth it, and I never want to hear you say anything different. I have proclaimed it so it must be so. Alright?"

She nodded as she blinked back the threatening tears. "Alright," she agreed.

"Good," he responded.

Satisfied, he turned the light back off and slouched back down into a laying position. Cameron too slid back down in between the covers, but didn't make a move to retreat back to the other side of the bed and House didn't comment on it, other than to continue running his hands through her hair. It had almost put her back to sleep when he spoke again, startling her slightly.

"Have you ever considered talking to someone about it?"

"Talk about what?" she asked sleepily.

"If you really think that orange is going to be the new black this year," he retorted sarcastically. "About what happened to you. You said that you had never told anyone about it before. It might help if you talk to someone about it."

"I just talked to you about it," she replied simply.

"Well, I meant talk to someone sympathetic about it," he returned self-deprecatingly.

"You were perfectly sympathetic about it," she responded, "I don't need to talk to anyone else about it."

"Oh good god!" he exclaimed in horror.

"What?" she asked completely confused.

"Was I really…" he spat out the word, "sympathetic?"

Cameron laughed lightly. "Yes, you really were. But don't worry, I wont tell anyone."

"It must be a symptom of sleep deprivation," he concluded, "there is no other explanation for it. I'm simply not myself. Now hand me that hair rubber bandy thingy on your wrist there."

She gave him her hair-tie, not even thinking about it until she felt him tie off the bottom of her hair, causing her hand fly to the nape of her neck.

"Did you just braid my hair?" she asked incredulously.

"It's a self preservation tactic," he said simply. "I told you its going to strangle and kill me in my sleep."

"Since when have you known how to braid hair?" She didn't know if she was more shocked at the fact that he braided her hair, or that she hadn't even realized that he was doing it.

"Since many many moons ago, when once upon a time I was a boy scout. We learned how to make rope, braiding hair isn't much different."

"You were a boy scout?"

"Yes, and that's privileged information, so if I hear that going around I'm going to know where it came from," he replied threateningly.

Cameron snorted lightly, clearly unconcerned. "I'm sorry, I'm just having a hard time imagining you in the little khaki uniform, earning merit badges and helping little old ladies cross the street."

"Yeah well, I wasn't much one for helping little old ladies or merit badges, and got myself kicked out of the troop," he returned almost proudly.

"How did you manage that?"

"Let's just say that there was one merit badge that I earned that had a direct correlation to my dismissal…"

"Which was?"

"Fire building."

Cameron laughed unreservedly. "I don't even want to know."

"I swear it was an accident," House said in a way that proved it was anything but. "I always promised myself that if I ever had kids I would never make them do something that degrading. In fact, I would have given them the choice between scouting or a paintball gun. Because, no small boy would pick playing Deliverance over a weapon."

"But what if you had a girl?" she asked with a laugh.

House considered this. "Do they make the leader's wear those little uniforms too?"

"No," Cameron replied.

"A pony."

"Do you want kids?" Cameron asked innocently in follow up to his statements.

House tensed at this question and didn't say anything for a long moment, making Cameron think that perhaps she had pressed to far. She was about to retract her question when he began to speak.

"I think there is a time in everyone's life that you just kind assume that you will one day be like your parents, married and with children," be started slowly.

Cameron waited patiently as he paused, formulating his answer. It was so rare that House opened up, she knew that pushing him would only cause him to clam up, so she simply remained silent, allowing him to share as much or as little as he wanted.

"There was a girl I was pretty serious with in college, Amy, an English major, that I assumed would eventually become the mother of my children," he disclosed honestly. "But when I left Maryland and moved to Michigan, we broke up. Then after I graduated, I was too focused on work and my career to really have any long term relationships, so to be honest it was never something that I spent any real time thinking about. Until Stacy that is, and she made it very clear she never wanted kids so I just went a long with that. Which is a good thing since we all know how that turned out."

"But you didn't answer my question," she pressed softly, despite her earlier resolve not to push for information.

"Well now I'm just a grumpy, crippled, old man," he said dryly, "not exactly father of the year material. But," he paused not quite believing he was having this conversation, if asked, he would blame it on the fact it was the middle of the night and as a result he was not in complete control of his faculties, "I suppose if my life had turned out differently, I wouldn't have been completely averse to the idea."

Cameron mused over these new revelations for a moment. She had always thought House would make a good father and was intrigued by the fact that he wanted children and even more surprised that he actually admitted it. She figured she should have more nightmares in the middle of the night if it meant that she got this kind of information from him.

"You know, both Rod Stewart and Paul McCartney were in their sixties when they had their most recent children," Cameron said teasingly, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Yes, but I'm not an aging rock star either," he returned in the same tone.

"My dad was fifty when I was born," she revealed, not realizing that she was unconsciously tracing patterns in House's shirt with her fingertips on his abdomen, "and he is just an average Joe."

House took this information and added it to what he already knew about Cameron and the ages of her brothers.

"And how old was your mother?" he asked.

"She was thirty-eight," Cameron laughed lightly, not having to look at him to see the wheels turning in his head.

"Twelve years," House said softly, more to himself than to her, as he had no doubt that Cameron knew the age gap between her parents.

"My mom was twenty and my dad was thirty two when my parents met," Cameron elaborated. "Although, initially my dad lied to her and shaved five years off his age and said he was twenty seven."

"She must have been angry when she found out," House mused.

"She was," she verified, "but more the fact that he lied, than his real age."

House nodded absently as he filed this information away, now able to put one more piece in the 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that was Allison Cameron.

"You know," Cameron laughed, "I think what we are doing now could be construed as pillow talk."

"And on that note, conversation over," he concluding, making Cameron laugh again. "I am going to sleep."

Cameron rolled on to her back so she could look at the alarm clock, "Urg, its already 4:30, I have to wake up in two hours."

House reached over her to grab the alarm clock on her side of the bed and reset it for eight. "You're going to be late tomorrow," he announced putting the clock back in its place.

"I don't know if my boss is going to like that," she joked, with a yawn. "He's kind of an ass."

"So I hear," he replied, yawning himself. "Now come here and go to sleep."

Cameron did as she was told and resettled herself with her head on his chest and an arm thrown over his stomach as she had been before she had moved to look at the clock.

"We actually had a heart-to-heart," she said teasingly, once she was comfortable.

"No," House scoffed, "we didn't."

"I beg to differ," she contradicted with a smile. "I think we did."

"Excuse me," he said wrapping his arm around her shoulders and hugging her closer, "but Greg House does not have heart-to-hearts."

* * *

A/N As always I love to hear what you guys think and always value your feedback but a surprising amount of people gave suggestions of what they think should and shouldn't happen with the rest of this fic in their reviews for the last chapter and while I appreciate it, the rest of this fic is already outlined so I already know what's happening… that's not to say I don't want to hear what you guys have to say, I just thought I should give you a heads up that its already been decided…. So on that note… lol… let me know what you guys thought of this one!


	37. Who's Bob?

A/N I tried to post yesterday for the finale but hated me and wouldn't let me…. But what an episode right? I wont go into specifics so I don't spoil anyone but damn…

This chapter is for Corrin… because I just can't quit you….

* * *

The three men of the Diagnostics department plus an extra borrowed from Oncology were all busy being highly unproductive in the conference room when the glass door was opened by yet another man, this time one that was unfamiliar.

"Pardon me, but I was told I could find Allison Cameron here. Do you know where she is?" the yet unidentified man asked.

"Depends on what you want with her?" House said, eyeing the newcomer suspiciously.

He looked to be in his late twenties or early thirties, and any woman, and some men, would consider him attractive. He was tall, only about an inch shorter than House himself, and clearly worked out based on the way he filled out his well tailored and obviously expensive suit. House already hated him.

"She is supervising the discharge of a patient," Wilson jumped in before House could say any more. "She should be back momentarily."

Momentarily, in this case, happened to be synonymous with immediately as the doctor in question was frozen halfway in the door gasping loud enough that all five men turned to look at her.

"Hey Bob," the mystery man said, breaking the silence.

"Nick?" she said disbelievingly, still stuck halfway through the door.

"Well are you just going to stand there or are you going to come here and greet the love of your life?" the man said opening up his arms.

Cameron let out what could only be described as a squeal before dropping the file in her hand and taking a running leap into the strangers arms, abandoning every ounce of professionalism she usually carried herself with while at work. The man had to swing her around in a circle a few times to diffuse her momentum, while everyone else in the room looked on with similar thoughts running through there minds. Including, but not limited too, why the hell did he call her Bob, since when does Cameron squeal, who is this Nick guy that he would make Cameron literally jump into his arms, and if this guy wasn't careful he was about two minutes from getting a cane shoved up his ass.

Well maybe only one person was thinking that last one.

Meanwhile, 'Nick' was still holding Cameron, her legs wrapped around his torso and his hands somewhere that House was very unhappy to see, but Cameron didn't even seem to notice or care. And when they greeted each other with a kiss to each cheek and then punctuated it with a loud smack on the lips, House found his cane hand twitching to lash out.

"I missed you too Bob," he laughed, finally putting the doctor back on her feet.

"What are you doing here? Why didn't you call and warn me? When did you get here? How long are you staying? Where are you staying? Have you eaten lunch yet?" Cameron asked, shooting rapid fire questions.

"Well I have a client down here that needed some paperwork that I thought I would deliver personally so I could surprise you," he explained answering from the beginning.

"Since when do overpaid, highbrow, New York City, youngest lawyer to ever make partner in his firm, hand deliver paperwork?" Cameron teased.

__

So he's a lawyer

, House thought glaring at him in a way that would send most men running, but neither of them had so much as glanced at him to notice,

_no wonder I hate him._

"Only when it means I get to visit with gorgeous, brunette, important, lady doctors with impeccable asses," he replied, playfully slapping the aforementioned body part.

"Hey!" Cameron yelped, grabbing his wrist. "I will slap you back and you know it," she warned playfully.

"Don't I _ever_ know it," Nick laughed jovially. "And I've gotten enough bruises over the years to show for it."

"And you deserved each and every one of them."

"I don't deny that," he admitted with a suggestive wag of his eyebrows.

House changed his mind, he didn't just hate him, he _despised_ him.

"If you would only learn to show some respect for your elders," she teased.

"You're only a day older than me," he replied tiredly, making it clear they had had this argument many a time in the past.

"Exactly," she said smugly, "and I have happened to have gained a lot of wisdom in that extra thirty two hours and eighteen minutes."

"Riiiiight," he replied with a roll of his eyes. "Anyways, I'm staying at the Hyatt, I'm only here for the night, I leave tomorrow afternoon and I got here late last night. I went by your place at like ten thirty, but you weren't there."

"That's because I don't live there," Cameron said slowly suddenly remembering who else was in the room.

"What? But I thought-" Nick started with a raised brow.

"I'll explain the whole story later," Cameron interrupted, a warning look in her eye, before turning to face the room. "But I'm being rude, let me introduce you to everyone. Everybody, this is Nick Jacobs, my oldest and one of my very best friends growing up. We go way back-"

"Way back to the womb," Nick interjected making them both laugh.

Make that hate, _loathe _and despise…

"Our Moms were in the same Lamaze class and were actually roommates when they were in the hospital when we were born," Cameron clarified before going back to introductions. "Nick, this is Drs. Wilson, Chase, and Foreman," she introduced in turn, "and this is my _husband _Dr. Greg House," she said last, shooting Nick a significant look.

The old friends shared a silent conversation, Nick's eyes full of confusion and questions and Cameron's full of promises of later explanations and requests to play along. Seemingly satisfied with their mute communication Nick broke their eye contact and turned back to the rest of the room.

"So I finally get to meet the infamous Dr. House," he said extending a hand in greeting. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you." However, the pleasure was clearly not returned and Nick slowly retracted his hand, but the young man took it in stride. "It's cool, I now see Allison wasn't exaggerating. Dr. Wilson, you're the oncologist right?"

Wilson smiled and extended a friendly hand, "James Wilson, and yes I am."

"Allison speaks very highly of you, it's a pleasure to finally meet you," Nick said shaking Wilson's hand before turning to Chase and Forman. "And Dr. Chase, you're the one that slept with Bob when she was high, and Dr. Foreman, you're the one that stole her paper and then tried to infect her with a deadly disease."

"Nicholas Ryan Jacobs!" Cameron admonished, shocked at his behavior.

"Allison Elizabeth Cameron!" he replied in the same tone. "I'm not lying am I? They both screwed you over, although one admittedly more literally than the other. I'm just calling it how it is. You may be too nice for your own good and have forgiven them, but that doesn't mean that I have too."

Both men in question had the decency to look suitably ashamed and embarrassed while House decided that he hated this guy a _little_ bit less than he had a few minutes ago, but only a little.

"Nick, all that happened a long time ago and we have all moved past it. You're acting like those are the only things I told you about them. Now if you cant play nice I will call your mother," Cameron threatened.

Nick held his hands up in defeat. "I apologize for my untoward comments, I'm sure you're both completely respectable men and we should have no problems getting along," he said putting an arm around Cameron's shoulders and tucking her against his body. "Just remember that Bob has four real older brothers and two men who consider themselves her bothers, and we have a criminal lawyer, a policeman, a biochemist, a navy seal, a photographer and a high school history teacher. Between the six of us we could find some pretty creative ways to kill you and not get caught."

"What are Jake and Brian going to do?" Cameron asked skeptically.

"Jake routinely works with models that haven't eaten more than four saltines, two celery sticks, and half a pack of tic-tacs in three years," Nick replied as if that explained everything.

"And what about Brian?"

"Do you remember what we were like in high school?"

Cameron considered this for a moment. "Fine, but can you please not threaten my coworkers?"

"Well as long as they don't do anything they need to be threatened over then we're all good in the hood," Nick replied.

House hated him even a tiny bit less, but that still didn't mean that he wasn't envisioning a creative death for the young lawyer.

"You're impossible," Cameron conceded.

"I know, but that's why you agreed to marry me," he retorted charmingly, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

A creative and painful death House mentally revised.

"Yeah, about that," Cameron said accusingly as she turned to face him head on, "we have been betrothed…for what, twenty-two years now? And I am still waiting on my ring pop. I just don't know if I can marry you anymore."

"Aw Bob don't say that, you know we're going to get married someday and live in a tree house that we will build in that old oak in Murphy field," Nick replied, obviously talking of childhood plans.

A slow and creatively painful death, House amended.

"So why do you call Allison, Bob?" Wilson asked, attempting to change the topic, seeing the murderous look on his best friends face.

Nick laughed and Cameron groaned.

"The whole gang used to call Allison, Al, which she never had a problem with until she suddenly became a girl and she decided that she hated it with it a passion. So one day in fourth grade-"

"Fifth grade," Cameron corrected, "we had Ms. Weiss that year."

"So one day in fifth grade," Nick amended, "she finally looses it and screams at us in the middle of the cafeteria, that Al is the name of a trucker with a beer gut and Cheeto stains on his fingers and we might as well just call her Bob. So our other friend Andrew, the one who is now a biochemist, replies okay then Bob, and the name stuck."

"Damn Andrew," Cameron muttered, "it was all his fault."

"Well you gave him a black eye for it," Nick replied, "some would consider it even."

"That was an accident," Cameron defended herself. "I thought he saw me throw that apple at him. And anyways, the black eye faded after two weeks, I'm still stuck with the name twenty years later. And could you please keep the embarrassing stories down to a minimum, I have to work with these people."

"The Bob story is not even bad," Nick replied, "I could tell them about your run in with the tennis balls and that fire extinguisher."

Cameron quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, "You do and I tell them about the night we had jello shots and a grocery cart."

Nick pried her hand away from his face, "I don't care, I'm not the one who works with these people."

"But I do know where you work, and I have been meaning to come see you in New York," she threatened.

"So you want to go get some lunch?" Nick said quickly changing the subject. "Come on, we'll split an extra large pepperoni and sausage pizza and a pitcher."

"One, I cannot eat half an extra large pizza anymore and two, I have to come back to work," she replied.

"Aw, when did you turn into a light weight?" the lawyer questioned. "There was a time you could out eat and out drink us all."

"Lies," she replied shaking her head with a laugh, "Andrew could always out eat the rest of us, and Becky was known to drink me under the table on several occasions. And I don't eat or drink like that ever anymore."

"Then we had better get you back in training, besides your mother would kill me if she finds out I saw you and didn't tell you that you're too skinny, you could use some of that pizza. And if you don't complain anymore, then I'll let you get a diet coke instead of beer," he tempted, holding the door to the hallway open for her.

"Deal," Cameron relented, already moving towards the door. "I'll see you guys later," she said to her coworkers.

"You have an hour lunch," House reminded her, speaking for the first time since she entered the room.

"And we don't have a patient. I think I can afford to take an extra long lunch," she replied, out the door before he could respond.

The four men left in the room were all quiet for a long moment.

"Well, he seemed nice," Wilson said finally after the whirlwind of the two old friends passed from the room.

"Just because he didn't threaten you," Chase said sullenly.

"Who was that woman and what did she do with Cameron?" Forman wondered aloud. "I've never seen her act like that before."

House didn't say a word as he stood and hobbled angrily into his office.

"Well this isn't going to end well," Wilson muttered.

Forman and Chase nodded their agreement.

* * *

A/N Sooo… some of you might recognize Nick and Cameron's other friends from the chapter 15 :P but yeah the next chapter will reveal more about Nick's presence in Princeton and what that means for our favorite couple… however, I'm going out of town today, actually in about 5 hours and I have yet to pack, so I wont have much time to write and since I haven't even started the next chapter that means it might take me a bit longer to get the next chapter out…. But in the mean time, inspire me by letting me know what you thought about this one…


	38. Playing House

A/N I know I know… I've been missing in action for a million and a half years… but I promise I didn't abandon you all! This one is a little on the shorter side but I was a little rusty and it took me awhile to get the ol' creative machine running again… and that was a really dumb metaphor so I'm just going to shut up and let you read….

* * *

"Alright, Allison Elizabeth Cameron," Nick said once they had settled in a booth at the pizza parlor and had their food in front of them, "I let you skirt around the subject in the car, but I want know what the hell is going on. Because what I just saw at the hospital is far cry from when you called me in hysterics a couple months ago telling me that you had to have an annulment ASAP and on the DL."

"Well, it's funny story actually," Cameron said running her finger around the rim of her diet coke.

"That's perfect, because you know I love to laugh," Nick replied, propping his elbows on the table and setting his chin on hands, looking at her with rapt attention.

"Wipe that smug look off your face," Cameron demanded, one side of her mouth turning down. "Do you want to hear my story or not."

Nick held his hands up in surrender. "By all means, go right ahead."

Cameron took a large bite of her pizza, chewing slowly she put the moment off when she actually had to explain, as long as possible.

"It was just supposed to be a game. A practical joke really…" she paused and looked at her oldest friend in the world. Looking into his eyes and not finding any kind of condemnation, seeing only genuine curiosity and interest gave her the strength to continue. "Greg thought it would be funny to tell everyone we got married."

"But you _did_ actually get married," he pointed out.

"You think I don't know that?" she snapped irritably, already having a hard enough time explaining, without him pointing out the obvious. "We got married in a drunken stupor and neither of us actually remembers it all to clearly, not exactly my most shining moment. We were supposed to just ignore it, get an annulment and move on with our lives like it never actually happened. But Greg thought it would be funny to tell everyone we got married on purpose and somehow, I'm still on exactly sure how it happened, he got me to go along with him."

"Okay, I follow so far," Nick said in encouragement when she paused.

"And he was right," she admitted honestly. "It was funny and kind of fun to see everyone's reactions at first. It was amusing how it was the little things, like eating lunch together in his office and a couple of kisses, that could get everyone all riled up. There was no precedent established before we left for the Vegas conference that would make anyone believe we would get married or that we would even be together in any way shape or form, except for one date that failed spectacularly a couple years ago. Which if anything only hurt our cause so of course not everyone believed it at first, hell I know I wouldn't have if I were them. So then game quickly became making everyone believe we were actually together and to be a believable couple."

Cameron paused again picking the pepperoni off of her pizza and eating them one by one as she mused on the past two and a half months.

"Chase and Foreman were actually pretty easy to convince. Cuddy took a little more effort but it was Wilson that was the real challenge. He was the hardest to convince since he knows Greg the best. But to be honest we were actually having a pretty good time trying. Eating lunch together everyday we got to know each other better, and actually found ourselves enjoying each others company so it just became easier to stay in character over time. Now its almost natural for us to act the way we do in front of others."

"Okay, I get the whole playing along at the hospital thing, but how did you end up living together?" Nick asked as he thought about everything she had revealed. "That seems a little above and beyond the call of duty if you ask me."

"Yeah, that was an unexpected development for everyone involved," she admitted with a wry smile. "Dr. Wilson is getting yet another divorce and needed a place to stay. Greg offered his couch like he always does, before he realized that James, who we had finally convinced we were married, would be expecting his friend's wife to be living with him," she explained, "and so I moved in that day and got myself two instant roommates."

"Now it seems to me that that would have been a good time to come clean rather than move," Nick pointed out sensibly.

"Well it isn't a permanent thing," she defended quickly. "It's not like I got rid of my apartment or anything. Living with House is just a short, temporary situation, fleeting really, until James finds a new place to live and then its right back to my apartment I go."

"And how long has it been so far?" the lawyer asked, skeptic in the face of her forced conviction.

"Ohhh," Cameron shrugged in a failed attempt to sound casual. "A little over a month ago or so…"

"Are you two sleeping together?" he asked frankly.

"What?! No!" she exclaimed her eyes wide. "Why would you even ask that?!"

"It's a relevant question," he shrugged.

"Well we're not," she reiterated. "I mean we sleep in the same bed to keep up appearances and we might snuggle a little but no, definitely not."

Nick couldn't help but chuckle at the extreme vehemence of her reaction.

"So what, now you're just playing house?" Nick stopped, thought about what he just said and started laughing. "Playing _House_… get it? Playing-" he stopped when he saw the look she was giving him. "I mean… ahem… what was I saying? Oh yeah, what I don't understand how you've gotten yourself so deep into this."

"It's not that simple," Cameron started.

"Yes it is," he interrupted. "You go up to everyone and tell them, guess what guys jokes on you! We're not really married! Ha ha, wasn't that funny?"

"But-" she tried to interject, but Nick didn't give her the chance.

"I know you Allison," he said seriously, "better than anyone probably and you're not the push over that you can come off as."

"Thanks ever so," she said sarcastically to the veiled complement.

"No I mean it," he insisted, "you've never had any problem standing up for yourself when you want too. You could have ended this a long time ago unless…" he trailed off as he had a revelation.

"Unless what?" Cameron asked curiously.

"Oh my god…" Nick said his eyes wide.

"What? What?!" Cameron asked anxiously. "I know that looks and I don't like that look. It never means anything good for me."

"I know exactly why you've let it go this far," Nick said a smug smile making its way across his countenance, clearly pleased with himself.

"Why?" she asked nervously.

"You let it go this far, my dear friend," he began, dragging the moment out until Cameron wanted to strangle him, "because… you went and fell in love with him."

"What?! No I didn't," she denied incredulously with a loud scoff.

"Yes, yes you did," he insisted with a huge smile, taking a large bite of his pizza. "Congratulations, you went fell in love with your husband."

"That's utterly ridiculous," Cameron said haughtily. "I don't love Greg."

"Mhmm, sure you don't," Nick said, amusement clear in his tone.

"What, I don't!" she insisted.

"Keep telling yourself that," he teased, "maybe eventually you'll believe it. You looooove him, you're glad you married him, you wanna stay married to him forever and ever and ever and have lots of House babies." He raised his voice a couple of octaves and continued to taunt her, "Greggy and Ally equals luv forever!

"Shut up before you get a slice of pizza to the face," she ordered, holding said slice of pizza up threateningly. "I swear you are eternally fourteen."

Nick smirked in reply, "I'm only calling them as I see them Doll Face."

"Okay first of all I don't love Gr-House," she said, consciously switching to the more impersonal last name. "Second of all I would never fall in love with House. Even if I was starting too, which I'm not, I wouldn't let myself. It would just be asking for trouble and I know it."

"And I'm thinking this is a case of thou dost protest to much," he countered. "And I'm thinking that it's a little late to be _asking _for trouble. I think trouble already moved in, right about the same time that you did," Nick said with a smile, clearly enjoying this to much for his own good. "Why don't you just admit it that I'm right, you went and married your boss and then fell in love with him."

"No, I didn't!" she exclaimed frustrated that he wouldn't just believe her and let the subject drop.

"Come on, you can't tell me that in the past ten weeks there wasn't a time where you maybe shared a kiss that meant a little bit more than the others. That wasn't so much for show but because you actually wanted to kiss him," he continued to pry.

"Sure I can," she replied quickly.

"Bob," he said gazing at her levelly as he used her nickname, "I'm a lawyer and you've always been a crappy liar. Just tell me the truth."

"Okay," she admitted reluctantly. "Maybe once or twice. But that doesn't mean that I'm in love with him."

"Ally, I don't know why are you freaking out about this so badly," he said sincerely, "Considering I'm pretty sure he feels the same way about you."

"Now I _know_ that's not true," she dismissed easily.

"I think it is," he insisted. "I mean you should have seen the murderous look on his face when I grabbed your ass earlier. He wanted to gut me, light me on fire, and spit on the ashes."

"That's just because we've been playing this game so long he is starting to believe his own hype," she reasoned. "He's just feels like he has to act like he has some claim over me as my husband. And everyone knows that he just doesn't like to share."

"Trust me Ally," he insisted. "That was not acting, he was truly jealous. He really thought I was encroaching on his territory."

"Fine, maybe he was a little jealous. But that's not love," Cameron said with a roll of her eyes, "that's being a possessive asshole."

"But why would he feel possessive if he didn't want you," he reasoned. "And why would he want you if he didn't care?"

"Because he is House!" she exclaimed frustrated by his insistence and circular logic. "Do we really have to keep talking about this?!"

"Yes, we do!" he exclaimed back, just as frustrated by her refusal to see what was right in front of her face. "I'm not going to stop until you admit that you went and fell for your husband and that the reason you haven't been constantly calling me and pushing me for your annulment, is because really you want to stay married to him!"

"Well that's not going to happen so lets just stop talking about it," Cameron sighed. "Enough about the three ring circus that is my life and talk about yours. How is everyone at home? All moved into the new town home?" she asked lightly, hoping he would take the bait. "You're in Turtle Bay now right?"

Nick wasn't about to drop the subject forever, but he was willing to give his oldest friend a reprieve, he wasn't cruel after all.

"Sam is great, I'm great, the dogs are great, we're all fantastic, love living in midtown and want you to come up and visit us in the city. Now, back to you…" he continued, her reprieve over.

Cameron groaned, knowing it couldn't possibly be that easy.

"Bob, I'm your best friend, the one you tell everything too. Don't you find it odd that this is the first time you're telling me about all of this?" he pointed out. "I think the reason you've been MIA the past couple months and haven't been calling me is because you knew that I would be able to see right through you and you didn't want to be told the truth."

"UGG!" Cameron exclaimed letting her head hit the table with a dull thud. She really just wanted to go back to the hospital.

"It wasn't supposed to turn out this way," she admitted quietly into the table.

"Life usually doesn't," Nick agreed, plopping another slice of pizza on her plate.

* * *

A/N And there we have it… next time on I Do? I Don't, House is still jealous, Cameron proves that De Nile is not just a river in Egypt, Nick continues to help drive the plot forward, Wilson makes no effort to get his own apartment, and Chase continues to have amazing hair…. Lol… and although I have yet to start writing the next chapter, I do know what's going to happen so it shouldn't take nearly as long to get it up as this one did… so let me know what you guys thought!


	39. Insurance

A/N It's a Christmas miracle everyone! And I only needed to stay up all night to make it happen, but it happened! It's not the longest chapter I've ever written but at least it's something if there are any of you out there that even care anymore… I literally just finished this 20 minutes ago and only gave it a once over after breakfast so please excuse any typos, I'll go over this more thoroughly once I've actually slept :)

* * *

"Dr. House?" Nick said curiously, when he found his friend's husband hiding behind a ficus in an alcove off the hospital lobby.

"Shhhhh!" House shushed the younger man, grabbing the lapel of his coat and pulling him into the corner.

"What are we doing back here?" Nick asked lowly. "And why are we whispering?"

"Plants grow better if you talk to them, but this one is a little shy so it's best to whisper."

"It's fake," Nick retorted, pulling a wax coated plastic leaf off of the potted plant.

"Is it really? House asked, a look of alarmed devastation crossing his face. "Now I'm never going to win that award from the Princeton Botanical Society!" he whisper yelled.

Nick rolled his eyes, he had heard enough stories about House from Allison to know that he had walked right smack dab into that one.

"What are you doing here anyways?" House asked the lawyer, realizing that his wife's childhood friend's presence in the hospital was currently more suspect then his own behind the plant. "Allison's not here. It's her day off which, correct me if I'm wrong, I would have thought she would have told her friend who's in from out of town."

"She did," Nick confirmed. "I told her I had some work to do this morning and we'd meet up for lunch before I had to head back up to the city later this afternoon."

"That still doesn't explain why you're here," House replied with narrowed suspicious eyes.

"I'm here because-"

"Wait, shut up," House cut him off as he peered out through the mass produced foliage, quickly pulling out his cell phone and hitting send on the pre-prepared text.

Then, in perfect synchronization, the door to Cuddy's office swung opened and as the Dean of Medicine stepped out into the Clinic, the Wicked Witch of the West's theme started playing over the intercom. It was the nurses that noticed first, glancing up at the speakers in the ceiling, then at each other, before surreptitiouslywatching the Dean for her reaction. The patients in the waiting room took their cue from the nurses all curious as to what the iconic theme was doing playing and what it had to do with the well dressed woman.

And as was so often the case, Cuddy was the last to know, preoccupied by the file she was reading to notice her theme song or the spectacle she was creating. Everyone watching could spot the precise moment the Dean noticed that it was not the typical adult contemporary that usually filtered through the speakers, as the color visibly drained from her face before being replaced with a dark angry red.

"House!" Cuddy shouted, not realizing that everyone who did not know the prankster doctor, would instead take the musical cue and assume that she was talking about the one that fell on her sister.

The House she was actually talking about quickly pulled on a lab coat and moved smoothly out from behind the ficus gesturing for the lawyer to follow him. So when Cuddy stormed by them, she stomped right past a random doctor conferring with the well dressed man in a suit paying them no attention.

Covertly peering down the hall, House sent another quick text, and the Oz theme followed Cuddy onto the elevator.

Disregarding if Nick actually followed him or not, House stood in front of the elevator bank, watching for when the numbered lights stopped on his floor, and fired off one last text. And although he couldn't hear it himself, he knew the wicked witch had her traveling music all the way to his empty office.

It was nice having friends in low places.

"How long did it take to get that one set up," Nick asked both bemused and impressed.

"We had two dry runs last week," House responded honestly. "But my traveling music was Baba O'Reilly. Cuddy cut maintenance's budget."

"A dangerous move to be sure," Nick agreed.

"So why are you here?" House asked again, picking up their previous conversation, heading for the cafeteria since he knew from previous experience that Cuddy would be laying in wait for him in his office for at least the next twenty minutes.

"I wanted to talk to you about Colin," Nick said bluntly.

House turned to the younger man, eyes narrowed. There was only one Colin that they had in common and he had no desire to discuss him.

"So is this the part where you tell me that I will never be as good as her first husband?" House asked sarcastically as he grabbed a tray. "Let me stop you now and tell you that if you're here to extol the virtues of St. Colin, then you're wasting everyone's time." The doctor was surprised when the younger man made a face that told him he was wrong in his assumptions, piquing his interest. "By that expression, I'm going to venture a guess and say that you're not the president of his fan club."

Nick shook his head sardonically, following behind House as he picked up his lunch, but not getting anything for himself since he had a lunch date with Allison planed in an hour. "You are right about that, I didn't think they ever should have gotten married, he was a selfish bastard for going through with it. I tried to talk her out of it at the time, but all that did was make her stop talking to me for a month."

Now House was definitely interested. He had never really heard much about Allison's previous marriage, as it was considered a taboo subject and he had never met someone who had known her prior to when she moved to Princeton.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not nice to speak ill of the dead?" House asked. Not that he cared, but he was curious as to Nick's answer.

"My opinion of the guy didn't magically change just because the guy died," he responded pragmatically.

House nodded approving of the lawyer's answer.

"Don't get me wrong," Nick continued as they sat at a corner table. "Colin was a great guy, he would have had to be to make Allie fall for him like she did, but I thought he married her for all the wrong reasons. So to that end he wasn't good enough for, he took advantage of her."

"How so?" House asked leaning back in his chair slightly, his casual posture at odds with how interested he was in his companion's answer.

"He only married her for the insurance."

"It's been awhile since I attended, but last time I checked med school didn't come with a PPO," House snarked, not sure what the younger man was getting at.

"Not medical insurance," Nick corrected with a roll of his eyes, "insurance that she wouldn't leave him to die alone. There was no reason that he needed to marry her, except that he was a selfish bastard. He _knew_ he was dying when he met her. If he was any kind of man he never would have put Allie through that."

"Allison would have stuck by him even if she hadn't married him," House said surely. "She's got the worst bleeding heart I've ever seen."

"Of course she would have," Nick agreed readily. "But I also believe that it was much harder for her to lose her _husband_ to cancer than it would have been to lose her good friend. You know how sensitive she is, and she knew the whole time she was planning a wedding and setting up a household that her new husband would be dead by New Years. Putting her through that was just cruel."

House would be lying if he said he had given this particular subject a lot of thought beyond solving the puzzle (dead husband equals why Cameron is damaged), but he knew her well enough to know, that while it never would have occurred to her to do anything differently, then or now, it all would have taken a terrible toll.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" House asked digging into his lunch. Not that he didn't find it all fascinating, but he couldn't see the profit for Nick in taking the time out of his trip to Jersey to tell him all of this.

"Because I could have your annulment pushed through and finalized Monday morning if I wanted to," Nick stated plainly.

House's hand froze in midair, a limp French fry dangling from his fingers. "If you _wanted_ to," he repeated picking the important qualifier out of the statement. "That implies that you're not going to."

"Or it could imply that I simply haven't decided what I'm going to do yet," Nick countered.

"But in this case it doesn't," House said surely.

Nick smirked. "You should have been a trial lawyer, with the way you read people you could have been a hell of a cross examiner."

"Yes, because keeping felons out of prison would have been such a better use of my talents than saving lives," he replied drolly. "But you still haven't explained why the history lesson."

"Because I thought you should know that Allie makes a habit of getting married for the wrong reasons to men that really don't deserve her. But I also think that being Allison Cameron's husband is the best thing that could ever happen to a man. And anyone lucky enough to have her should make it their life's ambition to make her happy since he would be a fool to let her get away," Nick said, leaning heavily on the table between them. "Because when I get around to getting those papers drawn up I'm going to send them to you, not her. And when you get them, you should think long and hard about what you want to do with them."

"I know Allison told you what happened in Vegas and what's been going on since then," House assumed correctly, still unsure of the lawyer's motives in all of this. "Why would you think there is anything but one possible conclusion to all of this?"

"I know what Allie has told me, but it's what she hasn't told me is far more important," Nick responded cryptically.

"And what hasn't she told you?" House pressed.

"You're supposed to be the genius doctor and she's your wife, I'm sure you can figure it out." Nick retorted leaning back in his chair.

"Why do you care so much, what's in it for you?" House asked, sure that there had to be some deeper motive for the lawyer's visit.

"Because she's been my best friend my whole life, and I just want to see her happy." Nick said pushing his chair back from the table and standing.

"You love her." It was a statement not a question.

Nick didn't respond, he just gave House a long hard look before walking away. "Think about what I've said," he called over his shoulder.

Once the younger man was out of sight, House sat back in his chair with a sigh replaying and analyzing the unexpected conversation in his mind. It wasn't beyond his notice that Cameron had been uncharacteristically quiet the previous night after spending the afternoon with her friend. And where he had been mildly curious as to her mood before, he was burning with the need to know what she had said to the lawyer to inspire his visit today. He wasn't even entirely sure if his intentions were to convince him to sign the papers and cut Allison loose so she could find someone worthy of her love and loyalty, or that he should burn them and forget they ever existed.

He pushed his lunch away no longer in the mood to eat. He had a lot to digest and none of it was food.

* * *

A/N And there we have it, sorry it exactly a Christmasy chapter but it's better than a kick in the head (or so I hope)… So let me know what you think since a review would be a wonderful Christmas present (and it will also let me know if there is still interest in this story) if there is still interest I actually got six pages of the next chapter written before I managed to force this one out, so I'm hoping to get that one finished before new years *fingers crossed*


	40. Groceries and Guests

A/N Oh, well, hello there. Fancy seeing you all here again after all this time… So for reasons completely unbeknownst to me there's been a recent resurgence of interest in this story and because of that, you guys pushed this story up over three thousand reviews! And to show my thanks, since that was a milestone I never even dreamed to reach I dusted off the House muse and cranked out this chapter :D

* * *

Cameron was just getting out of the shower and was toweling herself dry when she heard the pointed knock, if a knock could in fact be considered pointed, on the front door. She assumed it was the boys, home with the groceries and unable to reach keys to let themselves in. Not wanting to go to the door in a towel, but not wanting to take the time to actually get dressed, she snatched a pair of House's boxers and an old worn in button down off of the pile of clean clothes on the bed that she hadn't gotten around to folding yet.

As she padded to the front door, only buttoning the second, third and forth buttons, she remembered fondly the discussion she had with House the first time she had done his laundry. Apparently he had never heard of a little thing called fabric softener.

She had a wide smile on her face as she swung open the door, ready to make fun of House for actually helping with the groceries.

"Did Jimmy actually make you help carry a couple ba-" however the words and smile died at her lips as soon as she spotted her visitor.

It was not in fact House on the other side of the door, as she had been expecting. Nor was it Wilson, the other person she had been anticipating. In fact if she had to pick a person she least likely would have expected to see, it still wouldn't have even occurred to her to pick the woman who was currently staring back at her with equal shock and confusion.

"You're not Greg," Cameron finally said, regaining her voice.

"Neither are you," Stacy countered. "What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you that question," Cameron returned, crossing her arms across her chest and leaning nonchalantly against the door jam, making no effort to invite the other woman inside.

Stacy didn't say anything for a long moment as she evaluated the younger woman. She looked very comfortable lounging in the doorway of the condo that she had called home for five years, wearing the shirt she had bought Greg the last Christmas before the infarction, her wet hair dripping onto it, causing it to stick to her lithe frame. She was a small woman in stature so the shirt was long enough that she wouldn't have been able to even tell that she was also wearing a pair of Greg's boxers had she not neglected to button the last three buttons. But the thing that really grabbed her attention was the large diamond ring that was barely visible as her hand poked out of the oversized sleeve.

"So it's true then," Stacy said resignedly with a pointed look at her left hand.

"How did you hear about it in the first place?" Cameron replied, not confirming or denying anything, unsure of how House would want to handle this.

"My associate Nick Jacobs-"

"Nick is a partner," Cameron interrupted one eyebrow arched, "if you are working in the same firm now, wouldn't that make him your boss?" She wasn't sure why she was being so vindictive, (actually that was a lie and she knew it) but it sure felt good.

Stacy continued on as if she had never been interrupted. "He mentioned that he was in New Jersey visiting his old friend that worked at the same hospital he knew I used to work at and I asked him who, and he said you. When I asked him how you were doing, he told me that you had gotten married to one of your coworkers. I assumed he meant Dr. Chase, but he informed me that it was in fact Greg that you married."

"And you just had to see it with your own eyes," Cameron drawled sarcastically, her expression cool and collected, while inwardly she was already mentally composing the fit she was going to throw at Nick the moment Stacy was gone and she could get to a phone.

"I suppose I did," Stacy returned in a similar tone.

The two women simply eyed one another for an interminable span of time until they were both distracted by the frustrated slamming of a car door.

"I swear to god, the next time you decide you want to go to the grocery store for the ride, either Allison can take you or you're waiting in the car," Wilson declared exasperatedly as they came up the walk way.

"Yes Dad," House replied sarcastically before they both saw what was happening in the threshold.

Wilson was the first to spot their visitor and stopped cold in the middle of the sidewalk causing House to walk into his back.

"Cripple here, lets give a little warning," he snarked angrily as he regained his grasp on the bag of groceries he almost dropped and looked to see what had made Wilson freeze. "Well, this is unexpected," he proclaimed once he noticed his wife in the entrance way engaged in some sort of interaction with his ex.

"Yes, I think that is the consensus of the situation by everyone involved," Cameron replied with a wry smile.

House simply shrugged and walked around a still gobsmacked Wilson and made his way towards his front door as if this sort of thing happened everyday. He walked right past a stoic Stacy and leaned down to greet Cameron with a kiss to which she unconsciously rose to her toes and lifted her face to meet.

"I find this new look of yours very appealing," he said lowly, but loud enough that both Stacy and Wilson, who by now had recovered and was right behind House, could hear. "I must insist that you wear this more often," he continued, sliding his cane hand, as it was not carrying groceries, underneath what was his own his own shirt and against her hip.

With a hitch of her breath Cameron stepped aside and opened the door all the way to let House and Wilson in and Stacy took advantage of the situation to let herself into the condo as well.

Astounded by the nerve the older woman had to just walk into someone else's home uninvited regardless of the fact she had lived there in the past, it took Cameron a moment to recover and close the door.

"Here Jimmy, let me take those," Cameron offered holding her hands out to take the eight bags Wilson was carrying.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "They're heavy."

"I'm stronger than I look," she half joked taking the first four from one hand and then snagging the last four from the other. Before taking them into the kitchen she leaned in and muttered, "She's your friend. You go talk to her and figure out what the hell she is doing here."

Wilson just nodded and went to go sit with Stacy on the couch while Cameron followed House into the kitchen where he had gone directly with the three bags he had been carrying.

Cameron set her bags down on the counter next to the fridge and grabbed a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch to put away, she turned around and jumped slightly to find House standing right behind her.

"What is _she_ doing here?" he asked.

"I'm going to murder Nick the next time I see him," Cameron replied. "I guess she just started working at the same law office that he does, and he just _happened_ to mention that he was visiting me and my new husband. And he just _happened_ to make sure to drop names. That little punk did it on purpose too," she spat, the irritation clear in her tone and on her face.

"What do you mean on purpose?" House asked suspiciously. "How would he even know who Stacy is?"

At this question Cameron's eyes darted nervously down to the box of cereal in her hand.

"Honest answer?" she asked.

"No, I want you to lie to me," he retorted.

"Everyone does…" she muttered still looking at the box. "Well you know by his reaction to Chase and Foreman, that I use Nick to vent to about things going on in my life and things that happen at work. So I _might _have used to rant about my boss and his ex-girlfriend and how much I disliked her, well loathed is probably a more accurate verb."

"Why did you hate Stacy so much?"

Cameron looked up from the cardboard box with a look that told him just how stupid of a question that was.

"I didn't really confirm what Nick told her one way or the other," Cameron said, bringing the conversation back to the situation at hand. "I wasn't really sure how you would want to handle it or if you wanted her to think the whole married thing was real or not or if you would want her to know what actually happened in Vegas."

"Why would I want Stacy to know what actually happened in Vegas?"

"I dunno," Cameron shrugged, breaking eye contact and glancing down at her pink pedicured toes, "you get weird when it comes to her."

House leveled Cameron with a long evaluative stare that he usually reserved for his more recalcitrant patients.

"You thought I would want to tell Stacy that we got married on accident and that this is all an act, so that I would be free to try to get her back," he concluded. "That's what you thought, wasn't it," he pressed when she didn't say anything and kept her eyes cast down.

"Something like that," she mumbled.

"Allison, look at me." He pinched her chin between two fingers and lifted her face to his when she was reluctant to do as he said. When she finally did look up at him from beneath her lashes he saw the vulnerability in her eyes. "That is the stupidest thing I've heard since Chase tried to rap last week," House replied. "And that was tremendously stupid, so you know where leaves you on the idiocy scale right now."

Cameron couldn't help the relieved laugh that escaped her, as the tension she had been carrying since she answered the door leaked visibly drained from her body. "That was pretty nightmare inducing."

House nodded his agreement before sweeping her up in a lingering kiss before whispering in her ear, "Why you would think I would ever want to go back to her when I've clearly traded up is beyond me."

The conversation closed as far as he was concerned, he broke away and began rummaging through the plastic bags that were littering the counters for the cold items that needed to put away.

xXxXxXxXx

Meanwhile Stacy and Wilson were sitting in the living room pretending not to be watching the couple conversing quietly in the kitchen. From the angle they were at House's back was to the pair, but both could see the look of irritation in Cameron's eyes turn to concern and almost worry from where they sat.

"So how the hell did this happen?" Stacy asked after a moment.

Wilson just shrugged. "I honestly don't know. They went to a conference in Las Vegas two and a half months ago and came back married. Everyone was in shock since we didn't even know they were together."

"How long have they been together?" Stacy asked taking this all in as watched Cameron's expression change from worry, to reassured.

"I think Cameron told me that they first got together last December, so almost a year ago. But they were extremely secretive about it. Even I had no idea that they had been dating eight months before they announced they had gotten married. To be honest at first I didn't even believe it," Wilson relayed sincerely. "I thought it was all one of House's scams, but after seeing them together day in and day out, I've come to realize that there is no way that this can be anything but real. You would think that they've been together ten years. They really are perfect for each other."

Wilson knew that this might be a bit hard for Stacy to hear, but it was the truth and he didn't want her to get any wrong ideas about the two of them and their seemingly sudden and random marriage.

Stacy on her part didn't respond right away, but continued to watch the younger woman's expression now change from reassured, to amusement as he said something to make her laugh, to pure joy as House wrapped his arms around her waist and he enveloped her in another kiss and then whispered something in her ear.

xXxXxXxXx

Back in the kitchen Cameron clearly did not know what to make of House's actions and he was clearly in not any hurry to explain them.

"Are you helping?" she asked dubiously.

"Do you think you're getting a UTI?" he countered instead of answering.

"_What_?" she shook her head as she tried to find the leap to that non sequitur.

"Craisins, fresh cranberries and cran-apple juice," he said pulling all three items in question out of their respective bags. "That's a lot of cran."

"I just like cranberry," she retorted snatching the juice from his hand so she could put it in the fridge. "Why are you helping?" she asked again. "Cereal goes in the pantry," she directed when he picked up the Cinnamon Toast Crunch she had left on the counter and tried to put it in the cabinet with the canned goods.

"I'd rather be in here with you than out there with _her,_ even if it means helping," he said simply.

"That's almost sweet," Cameron grinned. "No, veggies go in the left crisper, fruit in the right."

House sighed and pulled the celery out of the right drawer and shoved it in the left. "I'm not sweet."

"Of course not," she agreed. "Why are you putting potatoes on top of the fridge?"

"I don't know where you want them," he replied as if that fact was her fault. Which considering the fact that between her and Wilson nothing was in the place it was before they moved in, it kind of was.

"So stashing them completely out of my reach was your answer?" she questioned, seriously not getting the logic of that one. "You know what, you're in the way. This will take ten times as long with you in here and I need to get dinner started soon if we're going to eat before midnight."

"But _she-beast_," he whined dropping the spuds on the island.

"I have full confidence in your ability to get rid of her," she said shooing him out of the room.

Banned from the kitchen House reentered the living room plopping himself down in the empty arm chair effectively halting the low conversation that Stacy and Wilson were having of which he was obviously the topic of. None of them attempted to begin a new conversation however, which suited House just fine since he had no qualms with simply staring at Stacy until the hardened lawyer couldn't help but fidget under his inscrutable gaze.

"So why _are_ you here?" he finally broke the awkward silence.

Stacy opened her mouth to answer although she wasn't entirely sure what that answer was going to be, but was saved by the ringing phone.

"Greg, can you answer that?!" Cameron yelled from the kitchen as she continued to busy herself bustling around the kitchen.

House rolled his eyes, but reached out and grabbed the handset that was sitting on the coffee table.

"What?" he barked as soon as he hit the talk button.

Stacy and Wilson watched silently as House's expression changed from irritation to confusion then back to irritation.

"That's fine," he said brusquely before hitting the end button with out any other kind of good bye. "Allison!" he called looking towards the kitchen.

"What?!" she called back.

"Would you mind explaining why one of us has to be here between the hours of eleven and four tomorrow?" he asked accusingly.

"And would you mind explaining why I don't remember putting marshmallows on the grocery list yet here they are in my kitchen?" she returned in the same tone as she came to stand in the archway connecting the two spaces, the bag of offending marshmallows in her hand.

"I asked first," House replied obstinately.

Cameron rolled her eyes but explained anyways. "We're getting our new mattress tomorrow. I can't take the one we have now anymore, it's as hard as a rock. I don't know what you were thinking when you picked it out, who honestly likes a bed that firm?"

"I didn't pick it out," House replied, glancing at the woman sitting next to Wilson on the sofa.

"I did," Stacy said plainly. "And I happen to like a firm mattress."

"That figures," Cameron snorted, opening the bag of marshmallows and popping one into her mouth. "I got us one of those Tempur-Pedic mattresses that you liked so much last time we were at the mall-"

"You went to the mall?" Stacy blurted out in shock.

"She got me Dairy Queen," House defended himself and his reputation.

"Anyways," Cameron continued, ignoring Stacy's outburst and House's retaliation, "you have such a hard time sleeping through the night as it is with your leg. I really thought a better mattress could help. For one it will just be more comfortable so you wont be tossing and turning so much trying to get comfortable-"

"And we can put a glass of wine on the bed and jump up and down without knocking it over." House being the one to interrupt this time. "Although I'm not much for jumping these days," he continued, knowing exactly what Cameron was doing and playing along.

"Well even if you can't jump up and down, the other point of the new mattress is so I don't disturb your leg when I move around at night either," she continued, taking silent pleasure in watching Stacy shift uncomfortably in her seat at this line of conversation as she popped another marshmallow into her mouth.

Deciding that dinner preparations could wait, the steaks needed time to marinate anyways, she crossed the room and perched comfortably on the arm of the chair he was sitting in. When he looked up at her, she leaned in close since she could tell by the look on his face that whatever it was he was about to say, it wasn't going to be nice.

"You're not going to take the high road and be a good hostess and invite her to stay to dinner are you?" he said with a remarkable amount of restraint for him, in not saying it aloud to everyone in the room.

"God no," Cameron replied quickly. "Not unless I'm serving buckthorn salad with castor oil dressing as her appetizer," she added in a whisper.

House didn't bother to try to restrain his laugh at the fact that she had just suggested they serve his ex nature's Ex-lax for dinner. "I don't think either of those were on the grocery list."

"An oversight on my part," Cameron smirked as she popped another marshmallow into her mouth before offering the bag to House.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Wilson asked Stacy, unaware of the topic of the couple's hushed conversation.

"We only have three steaks," House interjected through a mouthful of sugary confection.

"We can make pasta tonight and have the steaks another day," Wilson countered.

"Allison already has them marinating," House replied, sensing more than seeing her nod of agreement out of the corner of his eye.

"They'll keep," Wilson informed him.

"But I really want the steak tonight," House insisted.

"I already have dinner plans tonight," Stacy interrupted before they could go on. It was a lie but no one was going to call her on it. "But thank you for the offer James," she added with a glare at the unrepentant couple who were sharing the arm chair that she had picked out.

"Oh no, what a shame, well don't let us keep you, we wouldn't want you to be late," House said dryly, not bothering to stand as Wilson walked Stacy to the door.

"Thanks for visiting, it was so nice to see you again," Cameron added with a plastic smile. "Call first next time and we'll be more prepared for guests." And by that she meant they would make sure they weren't home.

Stacy didn't reply to either of them as she swept back out of their lives as quickly as she stormed in. She clearly did not belong here anymore and there was no reason for her to stay a moment longer.

"Ugh," Cameron groaned once the door clicked shut. "That woman. Also too many marshmallows, now my stomach hurts."

House chuckled and took the bag from her and rose to put it in the kitchen, Cameron sliding off the arm of the chair into the now vacated seat. "I don't feel like cooking anymore. Do you want to order a couple of pizzas?"

"Fine with me," House replied, already dialing the phone.

"I thought you _really_ wanted steak tonight," Wilson said wryly, one eyebrow raised.

"They'll keep Jimmy."

* * *

A/N And there we have it! I'm super rusty since its been years since I've even seen an episode but I hope you all enjoy it just the same… I want to say thank you again for everyone's continued support on this little story and this chapter is for everyone who's ever taken the time to review, it really does make my day (and guilts me into updating apparently ;P)


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